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Really down and lost over breakup

sam1111 · 2012-02-20 19:18:00

Hi, I very recently broke up with my long term girlfriend. We'd been together for 7 years and then a couple of days ago she ended things with me. She wanted to be care free and single. It came as a huge shock as only 2 days previous we were making big plans together which she was pushing and all excited about. I don't know…

Comments

#92 03-03-2012 2:50pm

Lorna123

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sam1111 wrote: »

We had a miscarriage about 8 weeks into the pregnancy about 6 months ago. At first it was obviously tough, but I thought we were dealing with it reasonably well. It wasn't a planned pregnancy, and although we would have been more than capable of catering for the child we didn't own our own home and weren't married so we tried to take as much positives ( and I know they still matter very little in the grand scheme of things) out of the situation. Well I did anyways. But the longer it went on I could see it was eating away at her. Looking back I don't think I gave her enough support or the support she needed to cope. I was always there for her but if she didn't bring it up I didn't either, I didn't want to make her unhappy or bring up bad emotions. Later on then she often brought it up on nights out and I always told her it wasn't the time or the place in case others might hear.
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Miscarriages happen Sam and it is not like you asked her to get an abortion, and even if that was the case it would not stop her loving you. You didn't leave her when this happened so you were there for her. She is not looking for a break now to get her own back on you so stop beating yourself up over this. Men never feel as sentimental over a miscarriage as some women can. Your relationship with this woman panned out the way it was always going to go and I don't think that the miscarriage made any difference. If she is blaming the miscarriage now on her going off you then don't listen becaues if it wasn't the miscarriage it would be something else. Miscarriage or no miscarriage she was going to want a break anyway. Isn't it just as well that there is no child involved now. I can really feel your pain here Sam but I think that Dellas above is right to say that you are flogging yourself, blaming yourself when you are not at fault one bit here. You are you and you cannot change to accommodate someone else. If this woman doesn't want you the way you are then let her go. Really hope you feel better soon, this is a terrible predicament for you to be in and very painful.

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