Zombie survival Guide.

southcentralts · 07-12-2013 3:45pm #1

Welcome to the zombie apocalypse, please enjoy your stay, for however long you last.

I cannot stress enough - comfortable runners. You will never outrun a zombie, but you will make it to a ladder or door in good time to evade them. boots may seem like a good idea but any protection they would offer is nullified by the difficulty in moving fast / chance of spraining an ankle running or jumping in them.

Get yourself a small stabbing or cutting weapon and large blunt force weapon with possible combination capability, and you are good to go.

Always aim for the head, ALWAYS. If there is no head you are in the wrong apocalypse!

If there is more than 2 Zombies, run, just run and climb, parkour the absolute **** out of it.

( please do not pick apart or quote posts, just add your own advice, if it contradicts someone else - so be it. No advice is suitable to everyone so if it differs - all the better.
Try to stick to small paragraphs of basic advice, while on the run from a zombie, the last thing you need is to have to check wiki for the exact location of the medulla oblongata and wait for images to load.:D)

Brave new world out there - Best of luck.

degrassinoel · 07-12-2013 5:08pm

ZSG Hygene:

Prevent zombification by proper use of hygene, even a small infection can be potentially fatal
Toothbrush - even if you've no cleansing agent you can still brush and spit.
Towel - self explanatory.
Soap - don't forget behind your ears!
A good razor - not just for men!
Scissors - multi-functional barber tool and a last resort weapon.
Comb/Brush - there's no excuse not to

Pro Tip: Hair, after shaving and cutting your hair - save the hair in a plastic baggy for kindling!

kieranfitz · 08-12-2013 5:43am

degrassinoel wrote: »

ZSG Hygene:

Prevent zombification by proper use of hygene, even a small infection can be potentially fatal
Toothbrush - even if you've no cleansing agent you can still brush and spit.
Towel - self explanatory.
Soap - don't forget behind your ears!
A good razor - not just for men!
Scissors - multi-functional barber tool and a last resort weapon.
Comb/Brush - there's no excuse not to

Pro Tip: Hair, after shaving and cutting your hair - save the hair in a plastic baggy for kindling!

Fail, hair wont burn unless your hair is greasier than a 16 who works in McDonalds.

Paddy Cow · 08-12-2013 7:08am

Train a couple of dogs. They will be great company and also act as lookout for zeds, other humans.

degrassinoel · 08-12-2013 10:36am

kieranfitz wrote: »

Fail, hair wont burn unless your hair is greasier than a 16 who works in McDonalds.

well then, we know who's been hoarding the shampoo then! GET HIM! :P

riffmongous · 09-12-2013 2:18am

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Train a couple of dogs. They will be great company and also act as lookout for zeds, other humans.

Wouldn't they just attract a load of zombies with all the noise though?

southcentralts · 09-12-2013 6:15pm

Travel plans.

Bring a map with you, a paper map, google maps may work on day one, but you cannot rely on it for too long.

Plan your journey with a destination in mind, do not get stranded in the middle of nowhere, with no shelter for the night. Leave plenty of time to scout your destination before nightfall - leave nighttime Zombie eradication to the professionals.

Do not overextend yourself, you do not want to clear out a building when low on energy, after walking 10 miles.

If in a car, do not drive into a town or village, unless you like swarms attacking you. Park about 1 mile outside the town and scout it from above.

Tzar Chasm · 09-12-2013 7:40pm

GPS will remain functional for a few years after the Zompocalypse, So a decent GPS unit would bea worthwhile investment, specifically one of theolderones thattakes regular AA batteries

I'd be inclined to approach villages in a different maner, Provided you have a fairly solid vehicle, I'd recomend one quick blast through the village making a fair whack of noise, then retreat to a higher vantage point and see what you flushed out.

ScumLord · 10-12-2013 6:34pm

I'm going to disagree on boots and say get a good pair of boots. I always have at least one pair of good work boots. They provide excellent ankle support which is one of my reasons for wearing them. Work boots tend to be completely water and chemical proof. Steel sole, heel and toe caped means you can kick your way through anything and don't have to worry about nails going through the sole when searching dilapidated places.

Take your time and use your head. Zombies move slow and would react to your movements, so on spotting a zombie (as long as he's not right in front of you) pause and gauge the situation. Get out of his line of sight and move quietly avoiding any conflict unless it's absolutely necessary.

Micky Dolenz · 10-12-2013 7:45pm

Stay out of large urban areas. More people = more Zeds. Lots of dead bodies = infection and disease.

Paddy Cow · 10-12-2013 9:52pm

Scope out any group you meet before attempting to join them. Other humans are potentially greater threats than the zeds. The longer the apocalypse goes on, the more desperate people will get and the more likely you will end up as someone's dinner :eek:

Paddy Cow · 10-12-2013 9:56pm

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Stay out of large urban areas. More people = more Zeds. Lots of dead bodies = infection and disease.

Towns and cities would also be over run with rats and feral dogs and cats. They would be a huge problem and very dangerous.

ScumLord · 10-12-2013 10:51pm

Paddy Cow wrote: »

Towns and cities would also be over run with rats and feral dogs and cats. They would be a huge problem and very dangerous.

Rats could be an ongoing problem, as food in the cities dwindles we could see a mass exodus of rats. I wonder if their numbers where great enough, and they were hungry enough, would they swam on people and eat them?

Micky Dolenz · 10-12-2013 10:57pm

Unlikely. They would probably do what they always do, eat their own, the weak and the new borns.

Tzar Chasm · 11-12-2013 1:12am

yeah, rat populations are only that big because humans provide the waste food on which they feed, post apocalypse the rat population would diminish quickly

on tne topic of boots, it is/possible to get boots that are both sturdy and light, they ain't cheap but are definitely a worthwhile investment, things like goretex, kevlar toecaps and aluminium / carbon fiber sole plates really reduce the weight.

anyway I don't know about the rest of ye but i like a bit of weight in me boots, gives me that little bit of confidence that I can kick my way out of trouble

ScumLord · 11-12-2013 1:12am

Micky Dolenz wrote: »

Unlikely. They would probably do what they always do, eat their own, the weak and the new borns.

Damn.

southcentralts · 11-12-2013 3:02pm

Armor

if you can get your hands on a few magazines (playboy being preferable) and a few cable ties, craft handy armor by tying rolled up magazines to your forearms and legs, if swarmed and you have the right weapon (icepick( (fuck you spellchecker, looks right to me)), it could save your life. I doubt the teeth could get through all the pages.

P.S. dentists i defer to your wisdom here. (wisdom, get it?)

southcentralts · 11-12-2013 3:15pm

Tzar Chasm wrote: »

GPS will remain functional for a few years after the Zompocalypse, So a decent GPS unit would bea worthwhile investment, specifically one of theolderones thattakes regular AA batteries

I initially read that as, one of the old drones that take AA batteries, and immediately requested Google to fetch me one of those.

:(:(:(:(:(:(:(

But on the bright side, tis the interwebs so...

small mechanical flying robot to fly and kill Zombies who invade your personal spaceonly using 2 AA batteries per day.

ScumLord · 11-12-2013 3:51pm

southcentralts wrote: »

Armor

if you can get your hands on a few magazines (playboy being preferable) and a few cable ties, craft handy armor by tying rolled up magazines to your forearms and legs, if swarmed and you have the right weapon (icepick( (fuck you spellchecker, looks right to me)), it could save your life. I doubt the teeth could get through all the pages.

P.S. dentists i defer to your wisdom here. (wisdom, get it?)

The Chinese made paper armour work for them right up until guns took over. For blades and bites paper would be plenty of protection. It's easy to work with so you wouldn't have to make do with rolled up magazines. It could be molded and glued into more form fitting shapes.

Tzar Chasm · 11-12-2013 4:37pm

mythbusters did an episode comparing Paper armour to steel armour of the same era, in most cases the paper armour came out well, however repeated abuse did destroy the paper armur faster, and you wouldnt want to get caught in a heavy rainstorm.

but Plastic piping should not be discounted either, lots of the thermoplastic stuff can be moulded fairly easily, add a bit of padding underneath and work out some method of protecting the joints, you are going to find yourself holed up somewhere with a lot of time on your hands, so a proect like that could keep you distracted for a bit.

Biker leathers would still be my preference tho.

Tzar Chasm · 11-12-2013 4:39pm

thats what I menat SouthCentral.

you mean you dont have a small armada of tiny GPS enabled drones

where have you been living?

bushball · 11-12-2013 7:56pm

Duct tape will fix anything-even an apocalypse

Fuzzytrooper · 20-12-2013 9:15am

WD40. If you survive long enough you're going to come across some handy tool or piece of machinery thats in need of some lubrication.

danniemcq · 20-12-2013 1:28pm

bushball wrote: »

Duct tape will fix anything-even an apocalypse

Fuzzytrooper wrote: »

WD40. If you survive long enough you're going to come across some handy tool or piece of machinery thats in need of some lubrication.

If it moves and it shouldn't duct tape, if it doesn't move and it should, wd40.

It really can be that simple

bushball · 20-12-2013 9:39pm

DannieHasAFanny wrote: »

If it moves and it shouldn't duct tape, if it doesn't move and it should, wd40.

It really can be that simple

Zombie apocalypse 101

RiderOnTheStorm · 23-05-2014 5:05pm

Can you open a can of food with no can-opener? Sure, a screwdriver or a knife will do the job
Can you open a can with no tools? ..... sure, Place the can lid-down onto some concrete, and rub it around. Not sure what this does, maybe wear the seal or heat the rim . But whatever it does, you can then squeeze the can and the lid pops off!

Dont believe me? Watch the vid ....

http://liketodiscover.com/amazing-open-a-can-without-a-can-opener/

Paddy Cow · 24-05-2014 12:36am

RiderOnTheStorm wrote: »

Can you open a can of food with no can-opener? Sure, a screwdriver or a knife will do the job
Can you open a can with no tools? ..... sure, Place the can lid-down onto some concrete, and rub it around. Not sure what this does, maybe wear the seal or heat the rim . But whatever it does, you can then squeeze the can and the lid pops off!

Dont believe me? Watch the vid ....

http://liketodiscover.com/amazing-open-a-can-without-a-can-opener/

That guy is awesome. I've seen his video's before. I would definitely want to be in his group in the apocalypse!

Paddy Cow · 24-05-2014 12:36am

RiderOnTheStorm wrote: »

Can you open a can of food with no can-opener? Sure, a screwdriver or a knife will do the job
Can you open a can with no tools? ..... sure, Place the can lid-down onto some concrete, and rub it around. Not sure what this does, maybe wear the seal or heat the rim . But whatever it does, you can then squeeze the can and the lid pops off!

Dont believe me? Watch the vid ....

http://liketodiscover.com/amazing-open-a-can-without-a-can-opener/

That guy is awesome. I've seen his video's before. I would definitely want to be in his group in the apocalypse! Even his cat survives :pac:

southcentralts · 06-06-2014 1:05pm

I would recommend a motorbike/dirtbike if you can get one, it will force you to carry only what you need, instead of having a car full of dvd's and porn.

outdoors247 · 18-02-2015 2:23am

Just go with the flow ha

Zombie survival Guide.

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