Work choices and family pressures

EVE10 · 10-03-2014 8:33pm #1

Hi, I desperately need some advice.I recently graduated with an MA and am in the process of applying for a licence to practice in England.The problem is I worked part time in college and am now full time in the same job.I hate it soo much but I am well paid and it's the easiest job in the world.Its for a large department store. My family seem to think this is great and now I should just meet someone and start having children! There are no job opportunities here but I have signed up to UK websites and there appears to be plenty of relevent jobs available. I am 36 have my own home and no children.I worked really hard to get my MA and I really want to do something with it but all my family and those I work with keep saying about meeting someone and getting pregnant. I'm really stressed out as I feel I have to choose staying here in a horrible job and settle for the first available man that comes along or take my chances in England.Am I too old to go, I'll be 37 soon.

thegreatgonzo · 11-03-2014 12:31am

Of course you aren't too old. It's your business and nobody else's if you want to have kids or not.

star gazer · 11-03-2014 3:04pm

Moved from Volunteerism
Title Changed from "Help!!!" to Work choices and family pressures to give a clearer title.

Mrs OBumble · 11-03-2014 3:49pm

You're absolutely not too old to go, especially since it's within the EU so your welfare eligibilty is not majorly affected. FWIW I'm mid 40s now, and left home to go travelling in my late 30s. Utterly delighted that I went.

It's quite typical for family/friends to try to fit you into their small-world. But imagine being 65 and looiking back: do you want to be an old woman working in a department store? Or to have had all sorts of new experiences.

All that said .. if you want to have babies at all, you're gonna have to start soon. You're already geriatric (I can say that .. I'm older). BUT - notice that you haven't met a man worth settling down with so far. Or maybe you did have one but something when wrong. They thinng to think aobut is how long since you found had a keeper here in Ireland, and how many more people might you meet in the UK.

EVE10 · 12-03-2014 9:24pm

Thank you. for replying.I think you're soo right.I was in a long term relationship but it ended a few years ago.I just wanted more while he was happy to plod along.I do want kids so yeah maybe I will meet someone overthere.I'm usually good at making decisions but I just feel so under pressure.

jam_mac_jam · 12-03-2014 9:26pm

You are 36 not 66, just go and do what you want to do. After studying so hard you deserve it. You will be miserable staying in a job you hate.

LegacyUser · 13-03-2014 4:32am

Your parents seem to think that you have been waiting your whole life to get married and have a family. If you have brothers/sisters they might think well /// is not married and does not have a family so she will help/mind our parents when they get older.
Perhaps if they know you are planning to go to the Uk they know this will not happen.
I know several families where one person is expected to do this and the rest of the family will do nothing to help this person out.

What will happen if you stay in Ireland and you don't met a man, get married and have children? How would you feel if you were still working in your preset job in 5 years time?

At this stage you need to consider you own career and life long term. I think that moving to the Uk will give you the experience you need to get now after doing the MA.
Also when you get move to the Uk and get work you will met new people and make new friends. You won't be asked questions like have you met any one yet or have people trying to set you up with the date from hell.
Who knows what will happen in the future and perhaps when you move to the Uk you may met someone if this is what you want.

Work choices and family pressures

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