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27-07-2015, 00:40   #4486
cbyrd
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Spottybananas, sometimes they will not sleep without mammy. Especially breastfeeding. Side by Side, all night, is how some babies settle. It's only a short time in the scheme of things and if he sleeps it's worth discarding the cot for now. Sleep is more important than routine. And if you get the odd hour or two for grown up closeness.. then hurrah.. But sleep when you can
Keep us posted if only for a rant...
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27-07-2015, 04:15   #4487
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But he just was never really like that, it's apparently common with scbu babies because obviously they didnt get used to cosleeping, laying down feeding, feeding to sleep. Which suited me at the start tbh because i wouldnt be comfortable cosleeping with a tiny newborn, I had nightmares as it was with him in his cradle inches away that I'd fallen asleep holding him and that he was dead under the duvet (it was invariably a cushion supporting my scar and freaking tired me out)

Going well so far tonight, he's woken 3 times since 11.30 but hasn't cried much, when I've fed him or just comforted him it's all been ok. Am discovering he can settle himself with a few gentle repetitive thrashes once my hand is on his head and has realised he has tasty fingers when his dummy falls out. Won't count chickens yet but it seems having mommy touch for reassurance has left him able toexplore self soothing once mommy gave it a chance instead of instantly picking him up
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27-07-2015, 09:22   #4488
Neyite
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aveen View Post
Thanks ladies, feeling that I was very unprepared for bf my first 😳😔, is the any books that I could read to help prepare myself better for number two?
Oh does a c section make it harder? I was advised that's the like case for me, as I don't progress after 3cm.
I had failure to progress - only dilated 1cm, so had a very hurried section. I breastfed for a year luckily without issue, so I think this perception that section mums cant feed is outdated. So many babies are born via section these days and so many babies are breastfed, I really don't think its true at all. But I think if you think a section is making it harder, then mentally it will make it more difficult if you know what I mean?

I read books, but to be honest, my best advice came from women who breastfed themselves - family members, friends and nursing staff. The hospital was very pro-breast, which was great, but the best advice I got on bf was a night-shift nurse in Neo who was from the gaeltacht, and sitting feeding the baby while she was doing her thing and chatting to her was very illuminating for me. She was the one who showed me how to stop hiccups, how to pull out the lower lip, and lots of just general tips and tricks. So I'd suggest meeting up with Cuidu /La Leche get-togethers.
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27-07-2015, 10:19   #4489
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Have to agree Neyite. I went for lunch one day after my breast feeding support group with some of the girls. There were 6 of us in total and 5 (including me) had emergency c sections. All of us had managed to bf afterwards. The support group really helped us all. A couple of the babies had tongue tie or latch problems but that wasn't a problem with c sections. The biggest problem post c section is getting to the support group when you can't drive! I had to rely on a lift from family. It's handy to have numbers for the local support groups as they will often call out to you if you need them. I had a friends of breastfeeding buddy call to my house. We spoke on the phone for about 30 minutes one night too before she had time to call to my house. Having the number of a lactation consultant is worth it too in case you need them.
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27-07-2015, 10:20   #4490
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Aveen my son was born by emcs and I didn't get to even hold him let alone feed him until he was 30 hours old. I expressed colostrum the night he was born, "just" 5mls that I was told was plenty for a newborn and special care unit were delighted with it. Within 3 feeds/meetings/sittings whatever you want to call them he had latched on with the help of the scbu nurses and that was that. He's now 4 months old and doing great, he's a monster Feeding him was literally the only thing that went right in my prolonged hospital stay due to pre eclampsia and sustained high blood pressure.

There's a great fb page where you can get great bf advice, not sure if you can post links here so I won't but I can pm you the name if you like. The main thing is to understand that in the first few days you need to be firm with the staff that you want to bf, you don't want top ups, and to know that the first few days may be tough with continuous cluster feeding. I think midwives are mad to say ff would be easier after a section, lying around with baby on you feeding sounds much easier than having to faff with bottles and reach for baby and so on. It's awful that any woman has to fight her corner at such a vulnerable time with medical professionals.

Doing ok here. He still woke almost every hour, previous to this weekend it was every 2 hours so I think the hourly thing is related to leap. Managed to help him settle without feeding a few times so it was then 3 hours between feeds, and as a result at 5am he had the biggest feed I've ever managed to get him to take at night, both sides, he usually falls asleep after one in cradle hold but because he was beside me and hungrier he was more awake. Altogether he was in bed from 9pm to 8am, he woke at 6.30 for chats and giggles and nappy change with his dad but settled back to sleep again with no issues, snuggled up high beside me on the pillow.

He was much happier for longer this morning and I watched like a hawk for his first signs of tiredness, fed him again (upping daytime feeds) and helped him settle but didn't hold him, just shushed and held his head. I am spending today watching and learning and changing little things Thanks for all your advice.
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27-07-2015, 13:11   #4491
Aveen
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Thanks a mill ladies, you've helped me loads with my guilt for not been sucessful at bf. ( still having teary days). I thought nurses where just helping by topping him up. Lactation nurse said I was flying because we'd a great latch. None of my friends or family bf, so no support to ask questions or keep me going ff all the way in my house. Can't believe I didn't know about this form.

Spottybanans sorry to hear you having a hard time, I ended up taking the dummy of my DS at 4months, he cried looking for so much at night (all I heard from family & friends was spoon feed, he's hungry but I knew he wasn't, drove me mad). He was using the dummy to comfort / suck like mad on and then try to get hands in at the same time. Loads of people thought I was mad but be honest best thing ever! He's great at self soothing, yes we have our bad days but nothing like before. His 7months now and still no dummy.
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27-07-2015, 15:14   #4492
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I topped up my first for a few reasons, one of which was sheer exhaustion and I was getting the blues big time, but I managed to breastfeed very well too and the combination meant I kept feeding until I was six months pregnant with number two. Second time around I was much more proactive and told the nurses that I didn't want to be bothered with weighing and monitoring feeding, that I had fed my first and I knew how to work on it myself. I fed around the clock which was tiring - I'll never forget that newborn exhaustion - but stayed in bed a lot and kept my older child with her minder.

I probably would have used a bottle or two after a few weeks in hindsight as my second never took to them and I was tearing my hair out until I went with their needs and relaxed more. As I said, I'm still BF and he's nearly two. Getting that good start post section second time worked for me and I made sure to get my husband on board with refusing any mention of formula. But I would not beat yourself up whatever happens. I had two different BF experiences and I quietly pat myself on the back for both of them. It was easier second time because I knew so many of the old wives tales about hungry babies and not having enough milk were not true.
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27-07-2015, 22:50   #4493
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Originally Posted by spottybananas View Post
But he just was never really like that, it's apparently common with scbu babies because obviously they didnt get used to cosleeping, laying down feeding, feeding to sleep. Which suited me at the start tbh because i wouldnt be comfortable cosleeping with a tiny newborn, I had nightmares as it was with him in his cradle inches away that I'd fallen asleep holding him and that he was dead under the duvet (it was invariably a cushion supporting my scar and freaking tired me out)

Going well so far tonight, he's woken 3 times since 11.30 but hasn't cried much, when I've fed him or just comforted him it's all been ok. Am discovering he can settle himself with a few gentle repetitive thrashes once my hand is on his head and has realised he has tasty fingers when his dummy falls out. Won't count chickens yet but it seems having mommy touch for reassurance has left him able toexplore self soothing once mommy gave it a chance instead of instantly picking him up
It seems like your problem may be sleep habit issue. I found some useful tips in both Baby Whisperer and No Cry Solution, but as others have said their bf advice is questionable. You need to pick out what might work for you and your baby, but it takes time.
Have you thought about contacting a baby sleep consultant? I met a sleep consultant at a bf week event last year, she was a phn aswell, not sure of costs.
Going back to work is hard enough, I'm like a zombie in work if we've had a couple of sleepless nights.

Look after youself too,
Goodluck
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