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Escort Ireland Issue

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  • 25-04-2012 11:49am
    #1
    Tired Mummy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭


    Hi All
    So here it is - I need advise truthful advise! I have recently found out on my Husbands phone that he has been looking up excort ireland womens profiles for quite some time now. I did not find this out by snooping but accidently brought up history on his I Phone! We watched a programme on tv about this website and he did tell me that himself and his work mates had a look at it for the crack! I confronted him about the history over the last week and was quite upset of the fact he was looking at it. Now do not get me wrong I really do not mind him watching porn to some extent but he said to me it is just like porn which I pointed out it is not as there are prostitutes phone numbers on their proifles. He swore to me that he would never do anyhting like this as in take it any further than looking! I do believe this point but am still quite angry and upset. Profiles all over the place but some in Galway which he is heading away on a stag soon. It was not just Galway but other counties and their profiles! Help and advise please?????


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    #2
    PlainP
    Closed Accounts Posts: 714 ✭✭✭PlainP


    Hey OP

    What is your relationship like with your husband other than this?
    Are you both still getting along intimately or otherwise?

    Looking at this website could just be as he said curiousity on his part. If he watches porn as you said he does the pictures on this site could just be arousing to him (i don't personally know what this site looks like though).

    Seems to me like just some harmless fun?


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    #3
    sammye333
    Registered Users Posts: 78 ✭✭sammye333


    Op.
    It does seem a strange that he would be looking up escorts ireland because most people would know what they are about.As you pointed out,you had both watched a show on this subject recently.

    He is just covering his tracks saying it is like porn, ITS NOT.Only he knows if he was planning to cheat so what you will get from here is different opinions.

    The one thing that struck me, and i find it hard to believe is where you said.
    "I did not find this out by snooping but accidently brought up history on his I Phone"??

    if this is true then you have a right to be pi$$ed off, but if you DO have trust issues then this also needs also to be addressed.Again, only know if you really found it by ACCIDENT?

    You need to sit down with your husband and explain how this has hurt you.

    Hope it works out for you

    sammy


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    #4
    Dravokivich
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Music Moderators, Politics Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 22,360 CMod ✭✭✭✭Dravokivich


    Looking at profiles of people who make themselves available for sexual encounters is not the same as looking at porn or even viewing the profile of a pornstar online. Its two very different vices. You've made him aware of this viewpoint. Has he agreed to stop looking at it? I think this will be a focal point to anything else with this issue in particular.

    With regards to his trip away. You need to think about whether or not there has been a reason to doubt his faithfulness before. Websites such as this (for lack of a better way to put it) are generally setup as brochures. You'd only look at a brochure time and time again if you thought there might be something of interest in it. I'm not suggesting he will, it just becasue of this I'd share your weariness about him regularly looking. This would be why I mentioned above that it's important he has agreed not to continue with it.

    As a bloke, I honestly don't see what he could be getting from it by just browsing.


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    #5
    P. Breathnach
    Registered Users Posts: 12,089 ✭✭✭✭P. Breathnach


    Escorting and prostitution would not exist unless there were clients, and I'm pretty sure that many of those clients are the husbands or partners of unsuspecting women. So it is reasonable to wonder what his agenda is.

    On the other hand, I think it a fair guess that many men check escort profiles out of a sense of prurience, and would never dream of doing business with one.

    OP, you say that you believe him when he says that he would not take it any further than looking. So why get angry or upset? It looks a bit of male silliness.


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    #6
    Tired Mummy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8 ✭Tired Mummy


    It was an "accident" finding the history as I have not got a clue about I Phones I went to look at a website on the phone and tapped something that brought up these profiles! I am angry at the fact that he has been looking at this like what his the idea? Has anyone any similar stories?


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    #7
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    Tired Mummy wrote: »
    Hi All
    So here it is - I need advise truthful advise! I have recently found out on my Husbands phone that he has been looking up excort ireland womens profiles for quite some time now. I did not find this out by snooping but accidently brought up history on his I Phone! We watched a programme on tv about this website and he did tell me that himself and his work mates had a look at it for the crack! I confronted him about the history over the last week and was quite upset of the fact he was looking at it. Now do not get me wrong I really do not mind him watching porn to some extent but he said to me it is just like porn which I pointed out it is not as there are prostitutes phone numbers on their proifles. He swore to me that he would never do anyhting like this as in take it any further than looking! I do believe this point but am still quite angry and upset. Profiles all over the place but some in Galway which he is heading away on a stag soon. It was not just Galway but other counties and their profiles! Help and advise please?????

    Check his phone nill to see if he has been ringing them... I dont know why he would repeatedly need to look up this site tbh.


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    #8
    curlzy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    Hey OP,

    The difference between porn and this is that the porn actresses aren't available in real life. You can't ring them up and say "how much?". I really and honestly think he either sleeps with prostitutes or is planning on it. Now if it were me, I would break it off as I simpley wouldn't believe him when he said he's just looking. However, if you don't want to call it a day, hire a private detective and have him followed on that stag night as it sounds like he's planning on doing it then. If he's not up to anything apologise and tell him you hired the PI because you were so paronoid and that you don't want him looking up those women again. If he IS up to no good then the PI will get photos and you will have evidence for the divorce. Sorry to be so mercenary but I honestly don't think he's innocent and if he's not it's no more than he deserves.

    Best of luck.


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    #9
    P. Breathnach
    Registered Users Posts: 12,089 ✭✭✭✭P. Breathnach


    curlzy wrote: »
    The difference between porn and this is that the porn actresses aren't available in real life. You can't ring them up and say "how much?"...
    Many porn performers are available either for sex or for sex-shows (but not often in Galway, I would think).

    It's not that I want to argue with curlzy, because it's not a matter that is core to OP's concerns. I make the point to illustrate that many men who, like me, would not think of paying for sex can still be tempted by prurience to look up things like that.


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    #10
    fungun
    Registered Users Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭fungun


    I know of many men who would have looked such sites up without doing anything, so certainly dont jump to any conclusions, hire a PI or anything like that. Do you have any reason to doubt him?

    One thing that makes me think this is if he is browsing for a lark, he doesnt worry. If he is actually planning to do anything, he would be nervous about it and probably delete his browsing history or have his phone pin protected (if he is any way technically capable)


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    #11
    Miss Fluff
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,673 ✭✭✭Miss Fluff


    I find that bizarre. Have you looked at Escort Ireland? The pictures of the hookers on there are pretty tame in fairness so if he was looking to get his jollies off I don't see why he wouldn't just go straight on a porn site. The whole "just browsing" explanation wouldn't wash with me, especially seeing as he's searching for hookers in Galway and he happens to be going there soon? Call me paranoid but I wouldn't be taking him at his word. He mightn't have actually had the chance to do anything yet or it may be a hobby for all you know. I'd be checking his phone bill as well....


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    #12
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Wow, what a complete over reaction by lots of people here. A friend of mine told me about this site after seeing that program, and told me it was quite funny, that I should look at it. I did. I looked at lots of profiles, and reviews. If my boyfriend happened to see this, which he may very well have, I seriously hope he wouldn't think anything of it. :confused: If your husband has given you no reason to doubt him or not trust him, then it may be your own insecurities at play here. There may be no reason to worry at all.

    I would suggest sitting down with him properly for a chat about this, and finding out exactly what happened. I could totally see a situation where a group of friends would look up this site together and have a laugh about it. I'm not saying he's not lying, but I'm just saying there's a good chance he's telling the truth also.


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    #13
    P. Breathnach
    Registered Users Posts: 12,089 ✭✭✭✭P. Breathnach


    stupidusername wrote: »
    ... I would suggest sitting down with him properly for a chat about this, and finding out exactly what happened....
    OP's husband told her that he had no intention of taking it further than looking at profiles, and she believes him. I cringe for him if he is asked to give a full explanation of what he was up to. Have you (not any particular "you", generic "you") ever tried to explain stupid behaviour?

    [I looked at the site this evening. Herself need have no fears, for there is nothing very tempting there.]


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    #14
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    P. Breathnach wrote: »
    OP's husband told her that he had no intention of taking it further than looking at profiles, and she believes him. I cringe for him if he is asked to give a full explanation of what he was up to. Have you (not any particular "you", generic "you") ever tried to explain stupid behaviour?

    [I looked at the site this evening. Herself need have no fears, for there is nothing very tempting there.]

    I meant 'exactly what happened' as in how it came about...did he suggest it, what were they laughing at, and what does he think of the whole thing. just in terms of finding out more about his attitude towards it.

    but yeah I get what you're saying. there may not be much for him to say, trying to explain it.


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    #15
    Backn5mins
    Registered Users Posts: 8 ✭Backn5mins


    Tired Mummy wrote: »
    Hi All
    So here it is - I need advise truthful advise! I have recently found out on my Husbands phone that he has been looking up excort ireland womens profiles for quite some time now. I did not find this out by snooping but accidently brought up history on his I Phone! We watched a programme on tv about this website and he did tell me that himself and his work mates had a look at it for the crack! I confronted him about the history over the last week and was quite upset of the fact he was looking at it. Now do not get me wrong I really do not mind him watching porn to some extent but he said to me it is just like porn which I pointed out it is not as there are prostitutes phone numbers on their proifles. He swore to me that he would never do anyhting like this as in take it any further than looking! I do believe this point but am still quite angry and upset. Profiles all over the place but some in Galway which he is heading away on a stag soon. It was not just Galway but other counties and their profiles! Help and advise please?????
    I'm a married man.
    I wouldn't dream of cheating on my wife because I love her dearly.

    I have looked at that website purely out of curiosity......perhaps twice or three times.
    My curiosity was satisfied fairly quickly- it's basically a wh0r3 brochure.

    I didn't feel the need to visit it again.

    Nuff said!


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    #16
    Procrastastudy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,224 ✭✭✭Procrastastudy


    Its either lads in the pub / curisoty or escalating behaviour.

    Hookers aren't cheap - not that I'd know of course! have there been any unexplained €100 here and there?

    Either way the best bet is to settle down and have an honest conversation where you try not to blow your top. If he is seeing hookers then there is a root cause that needs to be addressed.

    Just as an aside - "escorts" in Ireland tend to be fairly clean in comparrison to the UK or futher a field. There are some nasty bits that can be picked up but nothing that should cause any freaking out. That is opposed to street girls which are normally junkies.


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    #17
    battle_hardend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 208 ✭✭battle_hardend


    stupidusername wrote: »
    Wow, what a complete over reaction by lots of people here. A friend of mine told me about this site after seeing that program, and told me it was quite funny, that I should look at it. I did. I looked at lots of profiles, and reviews. If my boyfriend happened to see this, which he may very well have, I seriously hope he wouldn't think anything of it. :confused: If your husband has given you no reason to doubt him or not trust him, then it may be your own insecurities at play here. There may be no reason to worry at all.

    I would suggest sitting down with him properly for a chat about this, and finding out exactly what happened. I could totally see a situation where a group of friends would look up this site together and have a laugh about it. I'm not saying he's not lying, but I'm just saying there's a good chance he's telling the truth also.

    what is funny about browsing a site which advertises flesh for sale ?


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    #18
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    battle_hardened - please keep posts on topic and directed to the OP's issue - this thread is not the right place to discuss the rights/wrongs of websites offering services as per the OP.

    PI/RI is not the place for discussion or debate. Please review our Charter before you post again.

    Thanks
    Taltos


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    #19
    curlzy
    Registered Users Posts: 1,708 ✭✭✭curlzy


    GCDLawstudent wrote: »
    Its either lads in the pub / curisoty or escalating behaviour.

    Hookers aren't cheap - not that I'd know of course! have there been any unexplained €100 here and there?

    Either way the best bet is to settle down and have an honest conversation where you try not to blow your top. If he is seeing hookers then there is a root cause that needs to be addressed.

    Just as an aside - "escorts" in Ireland tend to be fairly clean in comparrison to the UK or futher a field. There are some nasty bits that can be picked up but nothing that should cause any freaking out. That is opposed to street girls which are normally junkies.

    OP, while I think that communciation is key, I would urge you NOT to be as tolerant as the poster above. Addressing a "root cause" of why your husband is seeing prostitutes wouldn't be tolerant, it would be pathetic.

    However, having seen that some posts by the self proclaimed "innocents" on here it would appear that some men do look at that site "out of curiosity" or "for a laugh". With that in mind maybe just talk to your fella and find out what he's at and tell him how not on this it rather than getting P/I as I previously said.

    I always need to think over these threads because I have very strong opinions regarding prostitution, for me anyway, any man that uses them is no better than a rapist or pedophile and is at the very least a misogynist.


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    #20
    Dubhlinner
    Registered Users Posts: 456 ✭✭Dubhlinner


    I don't know how to advise you about your husband because I don't know him but I am someone who has looked at escort sites out of curiosity but never gone to or "ordered" one.

    It really boils down to do you trust him that he tells you the truth that he hasn't/wouldn't go to one


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    #21
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    It depends on how often he's looked the site up. I've occasionally watched some of these sorts of documentaries or read about such things and then looked them up. Just because at that moment in time it made me curious enough to look these things up. Then once my curiosity was satisfied, that was the end of that. Next thing I see on TV and inspires me to google might just as easily be a rare plant that flowers for 30 minutes once every 100 years half way up a Himalayan mountain. Like it or not, a lot of people do have a prurient streak in them. That doesn't automatically mean they'll cheat or anything like that.

    To be honest, it's only if your hubby had visited the site a lot that I'd be asking more questions.


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    #22
    BarackPyjama
    Closed Accounts Posts: 974 ✭✭✭BarackPyjama


    curlzy wrote: »
    I have very strong opinions regarding prostitution, for me anyway, any man that uses them is no better than a rapist or pedophile

    So two consenting adults who agree to have sex in exchange for money is the same as a man forcing a woman to have sex with him against her will or sexually abusing a child? How utterly ridiculous.

    OP - I'd have it out with your husband and get to the bottom of this as soon as possible. You need to find out his reason(s) for looking up these sites as something is quite clearly wrong. I'd just ask him straight out if I were you.


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    #23
    jimmycrackcorm
    Registered Users Posts: 14,329 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    Op, I wouldn't read too much into his browsing of the site. I too have looked at it but it's a case of curiosity because it is so localised.

    Instead of looking atthis issue, you should be focusing on your own sexual relationship with your OH. If it is good and healthy and he's not a sex addict then you would have little to be concerned with...


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    #24
    Alkers
    Registered Users Posts: 6,811 ✭✭✭Alkers


    As a male I can admit to having browsed that site but would never dream of actually using it as intended.


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    #25
    gubbie
    Registered Users Posts: 2,134 ✭✭✭gubbie


    Seems many people here have looked at it out of curiosity, me included (I'm a straight woman)

    You should talk to him, but go into it calm with this reason in your head as the most likely cause. It's also down to how much you trust your husband.


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    #26
    Procrastastudy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,224 ✭✭✭Procrastastudy


    Just a quick point - everyone seems to be on the "I looked but I swear I'd never pay for it camp!" but how many who look and do use escorts are going to come here and admit it?


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    #27
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    That's true but it's not going to solve the OP's problem. In weighing up what to do, I think it's important that she knows that some of us have visited sites like these out of pure curiosity and had no intention whatsoever of going any further. Issues are seldom black and white.


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    #28
    Procrastastudy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,224 ✭✭✭Procrastastudy


    I agree as per my previous post - I think it needs some balance though.


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    #29
    Alkers
    Registered Users Posts: 6,811 ✭✭✭Alkers


    GCDLawstudent wrote: »
    Just a quick point - everyone seems to be on the "I looked but I swear I'd never pay for it camp!" but how many who look and do use escorts are going to come here and admit it?
    You aren't really making a point there, all were saying is that just because he looked at the site, doesn't mean he has or ever would use it as intended. People saying that they use the site as intended do not change that fact.


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    #30
    Procrastastudy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,224 ✭✭✭Procrastastudy


    I actually said it could be just curioity in my initial post. The subsequent posts have just put one side across. Sorry if I've inadvertantly caused you all an issue in saying that there are people that look at it an use it - partners of some of you on boards maybe? Try an remember to clear your cache! People seem very defensive all of a sudden.

    While people posting here that they use the site as intended, does not change the fact that some people just look at it - no one pointing out that it's a real posability he has used it as intended wasn't very helpful either. Is there some issue with someone posting an alternative point of view?

    Either way an honest and calm chat is the way forward rather than just hoping he's looking at it because he's curious and sweeping it under the rug.

    EDIT: Incidently just because someone is looking at it out of "curiosity" now doesn't mean down the line they won't act it out. Of course it doesn't mean they will either but it goes back to the inescapable conversation with your partner.


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    #31
    kjl
    Registered Users Posts: 3,127 ✭✭✭kjl


    I felt I should chime in here.

    I'm male and I often go to this website as a substitute for porn. I have never once met any of the girls off this site, but there is something kinda kinky about knowing that you could have sex with these women if you were really willing to.

    I don't think I am alone here because one time I was fixing one of my room mates laptops and happened to see his history and found the same thing and I know for a fact that he never snook out to sleep with prostitutes.

    Now, I am not saying this is the case with your husband, but it does seem plausible. The only way to truly know is to check his phone records and see if he has called any of these women. If you are going to be with a prostitute you would have to make a few calls to arrange and directions etc, so I would imagine that if you saw single short call to one of them, he might have been ringing to see what they sound like.

    I hope for your sake he isn't doing this, but the only reason I am posting here is to let you know that his story is plausible.


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