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Alive! Newspaper.

2456

Comments

  • #32
    efb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Pews of the World (now discontinued)


  • #33
    joseph brand
    Registered Users Posts: 4,537 ✭✭✭joseph brand


    The Observant
    The Sunday Sheeple
    Dependent on Sunday
    The Star of Bethlehem


  • #34
    efb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    a rival to Genuflect!, Halo! Magazine


  • #35
    Brian Shanahan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,232 ✭✭✭Brian Shanahan


    Genghiz Cohen wrote: »
    YOU CAN TAKE YOUR AD HOMINEMS ELSEWHERE, SIR!

    Dominos is the most delicious of the pizzas.

    Obviously, you've never eaten from Uncle Pete's in Cork sir or madam. If you had you'd puke your Dominos pizzas right back up.


  • #36
    Brian Shanahan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,232 ✭✭✭Brian Shanahan


    efb wrote: »
    Pews of the World (now discontinued)

    Ah, now. They renamed it the Sunday Son and brought it back out on the quiet a few months later (after sacking all their Sunday staff, and forcing their weekday workers to work the extra day graits).


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  • #37
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 33,823 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    Guardian Angel

    'GOODBYE!' Magazine (incorporating 'Did Ye Hear Who's Dead?')

    Life ain't always empty.



  • #38
    more than S.A.D.
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 14 ✭more than S.A.D.


    The Irish Tabernacle

    (a tabernacle is a kind of press, right?)


  • #39
    efb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    Brian Shanahan wrote: »
    Ah, now. They renamed it the Sunday Son and brought it back out on the quiet a few months later (after sacking all their Sunday staff, and forcing their weekday workers to work the extra day graits).

    Work on a Sunday???


  • #40
    Brian Shanahan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,232 ✭✭✭Brian Shanahan


    efb wrote: »
    Work on a Sunday???

    They're not Charedim. They don't keep to the Law.

    It's a schande vor dem Goyim, I know, but what are you going to do? Kids these days, they've no respect.


  • #41
    I Heart Internet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,678 ✭✭✭I Heart Internet


    krudler wrote: »
    Tabernacle Weekly?
    Priest's Own?
    "Genuflect!"

    No. Actual catholic newspapers such As The Catholic Herald.

    It's important, I'm sure you'll all agree to read outside of one's comfort zone. To broaden one's horizons.


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  • #42
    efb
    Closed Accounts Posts: 35,514 ✭✭✭✭efb


    I Heart Internet wrote: »
    No. Actual catholic newspapers such As The Catholic Herald.

    It's important, I'm sure you'll all agree to read outside of one's comfort zone. To broaden one's horizons.

    I read Viz


  • #43
    PopePalpatine
    Registered Users Posts: 11,836 ✭✭✭✭PopePalpatine


    Yeah, I think I'd rather not read deflective whataboutery about clerical abuse.


  • #44
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,222 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    Genghiz Cohen wrote: »
    YOU CAN TAKE YOUR AD HOMINEMS ELSEWHERE, SIR!

    Dominos is the most delicious of the pizzas.

    I could really go for a dominus vobiscum....


  • #45
    JuliusCaesar
    Registered Users Posts: 4,882 ✭✭✭JuliusCaesar


    I regarded delivery of Alive! as my community service. I was taking it and protecting some poor vulnerable soul from its contents. It gave me a laugh before contributing to the household heat. Haven't had a copy in ages though, and I could do with it now that the cold weather is back. How can I restart delivery?


  • #46
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 33,823 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    Maybe you can sign up online for a copy?

    Or better still, 1000 :pac:

    Life ain't always empty.



  • #47
    fisgon
    Registered Users Posts: 1,747 ✭✭✭fisgon


    Came across the latest offering of this "newspaper" recently. It is alternately creepy and hilarious. The major theme running through the whole rag is that catholicism and catholics are being persecuted, and that the real enemy for them is secularism. (We're obviously getting to them).

    Some of the salient points for anyone who can't bring themselves to read it..

    - According to the editor "it's great to be a Catholic". Why? you may ask. Well, "Catholics belong to the one true Church", and "they have the certain hope of eternal life and happiness in heaven."

    - Apparently, contraception is one of the main reasons for the growth of "the gay agenda". Because of the Pill, people now engage in DSS - deliberately sterile sex - and "once DSS is accepted between a man and a woman, how can it be rejected between two people of the same sex?......or between a brother and a sister?"

    - Moanin' Mullen has a column this month. It is, predictably, about Christians being persecuted. To quote his Ronanness, "the basic facts are that most of the oppressed people in our world are Christian". He really said that, "most" are Christian.

    - Apparently, Ireland has a state religion, and the religion is Secularism. There is no real attempt to support the idea that secularism is a "religion", it is simply stated. "Fundamentally," Alive tells us, "secularism is a religion of despair." Also, we learn that "Secularism, in fact, is a Christian heresy. ....it works, only because of the remaining traces of Catholicism it still contains." ????????????

    This is another theme, of course. The Modern World is in despair, we are all on The Wrong Path. Naturally The Church has the answer.

    It is like reading a report from a parallel universe. No mention of sex abuse, mother and baby homes, Magdalen launderies, or the fact that the church still controls 95% of primary schools. Horrifying and hilarious and kind of fascinating.


  • #48
    Cantremember
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭Cantremember


    robindch wrote: »
    Mod:OK, your post's been moved from AH, so their rules apply.

    Here in A+A, though, you'll want to up your style before you post here again.

    A revealing quotation.


  • #49
    Cantremember
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭Cantremember


    The publications of various religions make good pet bedding. /end.


  • #50
    PopePalpatine
    Registered Users Posts: 11,836 ✭✭✭✭PopePalpatine


    That certainly does remind me of that uber-Catholic troll with the mis-spelt version of a Roman writer's name.


  • #51
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,222 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    PopePalpatine wrote: »
    That certainly does remind me of that uber-Catholic troll with the mis-spelt version of a Roman writer's name.

    Sorry. You'll need to be more specific...? :D


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  • #52
    PopePalpatine
    Registered Users Posts: 11,836 ✭✭✭✭PopePalpatine


    endacl wrote: »
    Sorry. You'll need to be more specific...? :D

    I'm 90% sure catallus has been banned from here. I'm not sure whether I'm allowed to name and shame him here.


  • #53
    endacl
    Registered Users Posts: 22,222 ✭✭✭✭endacl


    PopePalpatine wrote: »
    I'm 90% sure catallus has been banned from here. I'm not sure whether I'm allowed to name and shame him here.

    S'OK. Even AH doesn't take his messing seriously. And just to be on the safe side, 'AH' in this instance may in fact refer to a slight abbreviation of the renowned 80s Scandinavian synthpop trio.


  • #54
    Mr_A
    Registered Users Posts: 500 ✭✭✭Mr_A


    fisgon wrote: »

    - According to the editor "it's great to be a Catholic". Why? you may ask. Well, "Catholics belong to the one true Church", and "they have the certain hope of eternal life and happiness in heaven."

    A certain hope eh? :confused:

    It's the best kind of hope I guess.


  • #55
    Brian Shanahan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,232 ✭✭✭Brian Shanahan


    PopePalpatine wrote: »
    That certainly does remind me of that uber-Catholic troll with the mis-spelt version of a Roman writer's name.

    Roman traitor's name to be precise. I'm really proud of that little [sic], he's really done his job.


  • #56
    fisgon
    Registered Users Posts: 1,747 ✭✭✭fisgon


    Was in my local Post Office today and saw a stack of these on a counter.

    Anyone know if there are guidelines about what can and cannot be distributed or promoted in state post offices? I am certainly going to write to the PO head office to inquire.

    BTW, I grabbed about twenty of them and took them with me. They are now nestling snugly in my recycling bin.


  • #57
    Nodin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 46,938 ✭✭✭✭Nodin


    fisgon wrote: »
    .......................

    - Apparently, contraception is one of the main reasons for the growth of "the gay agenda". Because of the Pill, people now engage in DSS - deliberately sterile sex - and "once DSS is accepted between a man and a woman, how can it be rejected between two people of the same sex?......or between a brother and a sister?"
    ..............

    It's the way they have cold, hard inescapable logic on their side.


    People decide to have sex -> decide to use contraception -> decide "jaysus, this is good, but not as good as gayness" and abandon relationship -> eventually decide to shag siblings, because contraception.


  • #58
    robindch
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 24,396 Mod ✭✭✭✭robindch


    Nodin wrote: »
    People decide to have sex -> decide to use contraception -> decide "jaysus, this is good, but not as good as gayness" and abandon relationship -> eventually decide to shag siblings, because contraception.
    Have you considered a career in the promotion of religion?


  • #59
    Mr. CooL ICE
    Registered Users Posts: 17,489 ✭✭✭✭Mr. CooL ICE


    I could have put this in any number of threads, but this should cover all. Got a chuckle out of it.

    Warning: Doctor Who spoiler alert

    330760.JPG


  • #60
    Orion
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,807 ✭✭✭✭Orion


    Well in fairness they're applying a fictional story from TV to their logic based on a fictional book written just over 1000 years ago. Two made up stories don't add up to truth to me.


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  • #61
    branie2
    Registered Users Posts: 10,288 ✭✭✭✭branie2


    I might have seen some copies in knock


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