The Funny Side of Religion

Gambler · 14-05-2008 6:20pm

Whoops!

iUseVi · 30-05-2008 12:25pm

Bit of fun.

Dades: can this thread be stickied?

Galvasean · 30-05-2008 2:26pm

Could always merge with generally strange..

stereoroid · 30-05-2008 4:31pm

I was watching an episode of Frasier this morning, and enjoyed the scene where Daphne and Niles are getting married (for the second time, which would take a bit of explaining). Frasier is there too, with his and Niles' father Martin Crane. Daphne's mother Gertrude Moon is over from England, and has come to the courthouse, but doesn't understand why:

Gertrude: Why did we all have to be here just to pick up a bloody license? Couldn't we have met at the church?
Daphne: Mum, we aren't going to the church. We're getting married here.
Gertrude: You what?
Niles: We're having a civil ceremony.
Gertrude: Without a minister? Out of the question.
Daphne: Mum-
Gertrude: That's enough, Daphne; I'm still your mother, and I will not bear witness to a godless union.
Martin: Gertrude, I favour a church wedding too, but this is their day. Maybe we should just them decide how it's going to be.
Gertrude: If people got to decide things for themselves, no-one would go to church!
Judge: If I may-
Frasier: I'll handle this, Your Honour. Mrs. Moon: you have my personal guarantee that this will not be a godless union. For if you truly believe in the omniscience - and omnipresence - of the Lord, then surely, are we not always in His presence?
Gertrude: No. He lives at the church.

I'm surprised that line "if people got to decide things for themselves, no-one would go to church" didn't get some complaints... :pac:

Dades · 30-05-2008 4:33pm

Stickied...

I hate stickies but this and Generally Strange are used a good bit, and do well in keeping down unnecessary new threads.

5uspect · 30-05-2008 4:57pm

stereoroid wrote: »

I was watching an episode of Frasier this morning, and enjoyed the scene where Daphne and Niles are getting married (for the second time, which would take a bit of explaining). Frasier is there too, with his and Niles' father Martin Crane. Daphne's mother Gertrude Moon is over from England, and has come to the courthouse, but doesn't understand why:

I'm surprised that line "if people got to decide things for themselves, no-one would go to church" didn't get some complaints... :pac:

Saw that one this morning. Very good!

iUseVi · 31-05-2008 11:37am

Dades wrote: »

Stickied...

I hate stickies but this and Generally Strange are used a good bit, and do well in keeping down unnecessary new threads.

Thank you gracious overlord.:eek:

Dades · 01-06-2008 1:08am

Less talk and more smelting...

iUseVi · 01-06-2008 3:49pm

iUseVi · 02-06-2008 11:24am

Thanks to ComedyCentral.com via atheismandcoffee blog:

There were three country churches in a small Texas town: Presbyterian, Methodist and Catholic.

Each church was overrun with pesky squirrels. One day, the Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels.

After much prayer and consideration they determined that the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.

The Methodist group got together and decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creations.

So, they humanely trapped the squirrels and set them free a few miles outside of town. Three days later, the squirrels were back.

It was only the Catholics who were able to come up with the best and most effective solution:

They baptized the squirrels and registered them as members of the church. Now they see them only on Christmas and Easter.

stereoroid · 04-06-2008 8:45am

From Bizarro: Electric Chair Religion:
Pope+Electric+Chair+WB.jpg

... How many of you reading this would have a tiny metal electric chair hanging around your neck or dangling from your ears right now? After a natural disaster you'd be getting blankets and drinking water from the American Red Chair...

Zillah · 08-06-2008 1:25pm

Can a Monkey-God be made chairman of a college of technology and management? Yes, of course he can!

Promethean · 09-06-2008 1:06pm

if you want religious humour just watch southpark...brialliant

iUseVi · 10-06-2008 7:08pm

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2008/jun/10/religion

Pompey Magnus · 23-06-2008 8:36am

This has probably been posted before but as George Carlin died today I think it deserves a repost:

Religion is Bullsh1t

iUseVi · 23-06-2008 11:41am

Galvasean · 23-06-2008 7:43pm

Depeche_Mode wrote: »

This has probably been posted before but as George Carlin died today I think it deserves a repost:

Religion is Bullsh1t

That guy was a legend. No matter what he was on about he always had so much energy.

limerick_woody · 23-06-2008 9:25pm

RIP George, wickedly funny and he could spot bull**** from a mile a way - he will be missed

Zillah · 04-07-2008 12:31pm

Do you dare take up your copyright breaking light sabre thingy and do battle with WACKY PROTESTOR and his secular goons: http://www.covenant-studios.com/media/finalbmantrailer60secweb.mov

PDN · 04-07-2008 12:43pm

limerick_woody wrote: »

RIP George, wickedly funny and he could spot bull**** from a mile a way - he will be missed

Oh the irony.

Pompey Magnus · 04-07-2008 12:49pm

PDN wrote: »

Oh the irony.

The secular version could be "Rot In Peace".

pH · 04-07-2008 2:08pm

PDN wrote: »

Oh the irony.

Irony? Have you any idea what irony is?

Now you being a Christian and all that, posting that in a thread called "Religious Humour", trying to score cheap points on an atheist, failing and making me laugh ... now that's ironic.

PDN · 04-07-2008 2:46pm

pH wrote: »

Irony? Have you any idea what irony is?

Yes, but apparently you don't.

'Irony' comes from eiron, the Greek word for a dissembler. It refers to a message or event with two levels - the face value and the real meaning.

Irony can be intentional (as when Jonathan Swift suggested the eating of babies as a solution to overpopulation in Ireland) or unintentional (as when Jack Nicholson said "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a bitch").

An atheist saying "RIP" about another atheist is certainly an example of unintentional irony. Of course, as with all jokes, it doesn't sound as funny when you have to explain it to the humourless.

Now you being a Christian and all that, posting that in a thread called "Religious Humour"

Yes, it is ironical (apparently unintentional) that you should find it incongruous for someone who is actually religious to post in a thread entitled "Religious Humour".

trying to score cheap points on an atheist, failing and making me laugh ... now that's ironic

There were no cheap points, just a bit of friendly banter among people of different viewpoints who post on the same message boards. If you don't get the humour then it's probably better to just keep quiet rather than make a twat of yourself.

However, if other posters out there were offended I would appreciate it if they would speak up and let me know. I have no wish to intrude with my occasionally idiosyncratic sense of humor if the majority of atheist posters, or the board's moderator, find it unwelcome.

Dades · 04-07-2008 3:01pm

PDN wrote: »

I have no wish to intrude with my occasionally idiosyncratic sense of humor if the majority of atheist posters, or the board's moderator, find it unwelcome.

The doors to our temple are always open.

On the subject of RIP, perhaps it's somewhat ironic that it is a religious phrase. A majority of non-believers would not believe in life after death, and would envisage death as an eternal dreamless sleep - or 'rest' if you will. On the other hand the general religious consensus is that death is just the beginning, to be followed by, for example, an eternity in heaven or hell. Neither of which are really consistent with the term 'rest'.

robindch · 04-07-2008 3:27pm

PDN wrote: »

An atheist saying "RIP" about another atheist is certainly an example of unintentional irony.

Not really. As Dades almost pointed out, the average atheist's belief is that a corpse stuffed in a box in a hole in the ground is statistically quite likely to experience an undisturbed repose. So the call to rest in peace is superfluous, but certainly not ironic, as it would be for a christian facing an eternity of unpeace in our regularly-mentioned tubful of sulfer.

Galvasean · 04-07-2008 4:36pm

Galvasean · 05-07-2008 1:38am

I found this fugging hilarious:

Scofflaw · 05-07-2008 2:41pm

robindch wrote: »

Not really. As Dades almost pointed out, the average atheist's belief is that a corpse stuffed in a box in a hole in the ground is statistically quite likely to experience an undisturbed repose. So the call to rest in peace is superfluous, but certainly not ironic, as it would be for a christian facing an eternity of unpeace in our regularly-mentioned tubful of sulfer.

True. The post-life period according to atheists is a good deal quieter than proposed by the majority of religions. Quiet decomposition and a certain amount of recycling is about as thrilling as it gets.

One could point out some kind of irony in the idea that the person will in any way be involved, but that rather assumes that atheists accept that there was something more to a person than their physical existence. As far as we're concerned, that is George Carlin in the box, not his 'mortal remains'.

One might equally point out that RIP as said by a Christian is technically incompatible with (most) Christian doctrine - the body is merely a shell, and the soul is already in another phase of existence, which for the vast majority will be anything but peaceful.

I suspect that, in either case, RIP is an expression of respect for the life that has ended, rather than a wish for their future.

cordially,
Scofflaw

Balfa · 10-07-2008 4:22am

Some frustrating arguments with creationists recently led me to do some thinking and this picture is the fruits of my thinking. It's based on the whole concept of creationists frantically digging to come up with the latest evidence to debunk evolution, all the while ignoring the fact the only shred of "evidence" in favour of creation is some dodgy old book that doesn't even cite its sources.

I didn't have any artistic talent to put into it, obviously. Just some quick copy-pastes. But if you like it, pass it on.

Dades · 10-07-2008 9:38am

Good job, Balfa! Gave me a laugh on a Thursday morning.

(Moved to Religious Humour, btw)

The Funny Side of Religion

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