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28-02-2012, 11:52   #31
kate.m
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11 year olds have interests, I would believe that your daughter does too
Help her find it. Seriously reading or cooking, anything. Even music.
Have you asked what she would like to do in her spare time?

Quite often it's extra curricular activities that can help with personal development. Sports are good for special awareness too. You can't expect her entire development from sitting in a classroom.

Also, to that pointless comment about girls heads being full of *fluff* - you clearly know very little about teenage girls.
They always act one way and think another. These comments and feigned interests that lead people to misconceptions such as yours are usually there to allow for better peer interaction. I used to always wonder why the girls in my own year acted like well, idiots. It's an interaction thing. The same girls got straight As and Bs. I guess acting smart didn't suit their image.
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28-02-2012, 12:09   #32
jimgoose
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kate.m View Post
11 year olds have interests, I would believe that your daughter does too
Help her find it. Seriously reading or cooking, anything. Even music.
Have you asked what she would like to do in her spare time?

Quite often it's extra curricular activities that can help with personal development. Sports are good for special awareness too. You can't expect her entire development from sitting in a classroom.

Also, to that pointless comment about girls heads being full of *fluff* - you clearly know very little about teenage girls.
They always act one way and think another. These comments and feigned interests that lead people to misconceptions such as yours are usually there to allow for better peer interaction. I used to always wonder why the girls in my own year acted like well, idiots. It's an interaction thing. The same girls got straight As and Bs. I guess acting smart didn't suit their image.
A-ha! So they are evil geniuses struggling to think down to our level! And there I was putting the occasional demonic booming voice and comments like "You may call me by the name your father's father's father called me - Iog Sototh, Devourer of Souls!" down to hormones.
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28-02-2012, 13:07   #33
Ayla
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Originally Posted by EScifo View Post
thanks for some good advice and of course this being the internet, tons of terrible contributions

I think it was clear from my original post that I support my daughter and would never ever demean her. What I might say in frustration to people in a semi confidential situation is totally different.

I also am unsurprised that people failed to read my post
I do not put any pressure on her to succeed in a certain field or anything like that
If she wants to be a quilt designer or something like that, fine by me as long as she is committed to it

My point was solely on how to deal with the fact that she does not seem to be able to think for herself, display curiosity or seem to have any great cognitive ability. I need to recognise that and move on.

I quoted your original post just so it was pointedly clear that I did read - very carefully - your post. Calling anyone a "dumbass" is very demeaning, let alone your own daughter. And do you honestly think that posting on a public forum is "semi confidential"??

I'm also referencing your own words here:
Quote:
She is not as happy as she could be at the moment - I am wondering if my expectations of her cognitive ability are perhaps contributing to this. It might be a source of strain between us.
How can you say this on one hand & then now claim that you're not putting any pressure on her? Fine, you say you're "recognising it and moving on"...great, please start doing this by not posting on a public forum how dumb/illogical/uninspired your poor daughter is.
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