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Is he gay?

  • 08-07-2014 4:22pm
    #1
    gayguy2014
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭


    Hey.

    I recently came out to one of my best mates. Im mid 30s, he`s mid 20s. He`s a really great guy and I value our friendship so much. I have known Im gay for some time but only came out to my family in the last few years and gradually came out to my close mates. I came out to this guy a few months ago. I told him one night we were both drunk. We had a good chat about it and he has been very supportive. He wanted to go out on the gay scene which we did a few weeks ago. We had a great night. I got the impression that he was perhaps `curious` about being with a guy. He told me that he kissed a guy once and seemed to like it. I didn`t think much of it and put it down to experimentation, as seems to happen with a lot of guys. A few nights ago I was chatting to him, he was a little drunk, I was sober. He was asking me about how I knew I was gay and previous relationships Ive had and that kind of thing, which Im happy to talk to him about. He said that he`s having doubts about his sexuality. I got a little uncomfortable about it when he mentioned this. I think one of the reasons I was uncomfortable with it was because I was sober and I didn`t want him to think later that I was looking to get info out of him. He has been with a lot of girls and Id go as far as to say he could probably have almost any girl he wanted. He has a real charm and way with the ladies.

    Im really confused about the whole thing. I want to be supportive of him, and talk to him about it but am finding it difficult. Is it possible to only realise you may be gay in your mid 20s? Surly he would have acted on it or realised it before now? What are your thoughts on this?

    Thanks
    Tagged:


Comments

  • #2
    Mr.Frame
    Registered Users Posts: 766 ✭✭✭Mr.Frame


    Why were you uncomfortable ? He from what you told us wanted to tell someone and YOU were that person he obviously felt comfortable to talk with.
    As for your question "Is it possible to only realise you may be gay in your mid 20s? " and surely he would have acted on it before now ect ect
    Bit of a bizarre question coming from a man in his mid 30s and not long out .

    People come out at ALL ages it's difficult for some and easy for others.

    Be there for your friend ,he quite obviously wants to talk to someone, be sympathetic and most of all understanding


  • #3
    gayguy2014
    Registered Users Posts: 2 ✭gayguy2014


    Thanks Mr. Frame. I suppose I hadn`t thought of it like that. I will talk with him again about it. I suppose it came as a bit of a shock to me and I didn`t know how to react.


  • #4
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    I'd just caution you against being used and hurt while he "experiments".
    Be there as a friend but please be careful to take care of yourself too...


  • #5
    Hunchback
    Registered Users Posts: 1,629 ✭✭✭Hunchback


    Great advice from the above poster - be supportive but protect yourself.

    That being said there is another very uplifting thread on this forum started by a poster called 'Titoishtheman' (I think - might not all be one word). He was in a similar position and, well, lets just say that the thread would melt even the most cynical of hearts. I'll see if I can find it for you.

    Best of luck, it must be a fairly exciting time for you at any rate :)


  • #6
    Hunchback
    Registered Users Posts: 1,629 ✭✭✭Hunchback


    http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056853366
    The above might be worth a read, just to lift the spirits!


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