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Told me he has feelings for his ex, dont know where it leaves us. Please help

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    #32
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    BMBM123 wrote: »
    I don't understand why he would tell me to call and collect it and when I try arrange a time he completely bails?
    It's what he does. He likes the ego boost. Don't contact him again - walk away!


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    #33
    BMBM123
    Registered Users Posts: 29 ✭BMBM123


    Stavro Mueller wrote: »
    Possibly because he can't stomach the thoughts of coming face to face with you? He seems to like going to ground and hiding rather than dealing with problems head on.

    Yes it looks like that and it's getting incredibly frustrating. I have given him space and tried to go the right thing by him and he didn't even have the decency to reply to a bloody text


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    #34
    Stavro Mueller
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,673 ✭✭✭Stavro Mueller


    I think Mike's advice is the way to go. Text with a date and time and stick to that. It sounds like he's terrified of coming face to face with you and having to hold a conversation about it. It's very easy to text the insincere crap he has been sending you from a distance. Don't fall for his mealy mouthed words. He has no intention of ever dating you again.

    Did you ever return that key by the way?


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    #35
    BMBM123
    Registered Users Posts: 29 ✭BMBM123


    No not yet I'll give it back when I collect my other stuff


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    #36
    skallywag
    Registered Users Posts: 2,986 ✭✭✭skallywag


    Fair play to the lad for being honest with you, many may have taken the easier path. You can pretty much give up on him I am afraid OP, I can see no benefit from keeping in touch in any way. He should have the decency to give you twenty minutes of facetime though.


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    #37
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    Text and tell him the time and place to get your gear. But don't go there yourself - Send a friend/relative to collect it for you. If he doesn't show, I'd be sending another text giving him another date telling him you (or your agent) will be turning up with a Gard escort to get your gear. That should concentrate his mind...


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    #38
    Typer Monkey
    Registered Users Posts: 941 ✭✭✭Typer Monkey


    What is the stuff that he has? If it's cosmetics etc that you can live without just write them off and don't contact him again. It sounds like he was the first to bring up the stuff and you didn't mention it in your OP so I doubt it's all that important to you. I think you're using the stuff as an excuse to stay in contact and see him again. I don't mean to be harsh but he's not interested in a relationship with you. He's ignoring your messages and feeding you lines but you just keep sticking your hand out to be slapped by contacting him.

    No good is coming from hearing from him. The only person you can control is yourself so do yourself a favour and cut this guy off for good


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    #39
    tinz18
    Registered Users Posts: 329 ✭✭tinz18


    I may be completely wrong but sounds like he's trying to keep you on the scene/hooked until he decides what he wants. As long as he has your stuff he has a semi-legitimate reason to contact you. I would send a text with when you want your stuff, if he doesn't reply turn up on that date with a friend and ask for your stuff back. If he's not there, leave the message with his housemates and give him a final date for pickup or to drop them to yours. After this, if your stuff is replaceable cut him off or tell him you'll have to go down the gardai/legal route to get it back.

    Also make sure you have ALL your stuff before leaving. My ex tried this stunt after breaking up with me, I was a month waiting to get my bits back including some console games belonging to my brother but he wouldn't give them back even though the day of breaking up I wanted to collect them so it would be properly over. When he did he had conveniently left out the remote for my media drive- he didn't take it well when I told him to drop it at my friends house which was in the same estate as his as I had no interest in meeting up again. He thought that I'd have to chase him to get it back (it was an expensive specialized drive) and ergo he had a bargaining chip to keep himself in my life.


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    #40
    BMBM123
    Registered Users Posts: 29 ✭BMBM123


    Typer Monkey wrote: »
    What is the stuff that he has? If it's cosmetics etc that you can live without just write them off and don't contact him again. It sounds like he was the first to bring up the stuff and you didn't mention it in your OP so I doubt it's all that important to you.

    There are a few cosmetics but there nearly empty to be fair and all I can think of is a scarf and maybe a DVD so the fact he even suggested I call for these is slightly puzzling


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    #41
    Tasden
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,166 ✭✭✭Tasden


    Well in that case just forget about them and don't contact him again. If he texts about collecting them or whatever just say its ok they're not that important, then ignore him.


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    #42
    CaraMay
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,652 ✭✭✭CaraMay


    But you are thinking of calling to get them. Text him and tell him to dump it and just walk away.


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    #43
    tinz18
    Registered Users Posts: 329 ✭✭tinz18


    In that case walk away OP. None of that stuff is worth having to deal with him again. He's trying to keep you on the hook- let him go and move on- there's plenty more guys out there that don't pull stuff like that.


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    #44
    ABajaninCork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,411 ✭✭✭ABajaninCork


    CaraMay wrote: »
    But you are thinking of calling to get them. Text him and tell him to dump him and just walk away.

    In my last post, I thought it was a lot of stuff the OP left!! If it's just cosmetics, then I don't think you should even call him. Delete his number and get to stepping...


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    #45
    road_high
    Registered Users Posts: 19,385 ✭✭✭✭road_high


    OP run and don't look back...meeting him will only drag up feelings, don't waste your energy. Been there done that.


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    #46
    Dixie Chick
    Registered Users Posts: 1,062 ✭✭✭Dixie Chick


    BMBM123 wrote: »
    Typer Monkey wrote: »
    What is the stuff that he has? If it's cosmetics etc that you can live without just write them off and don't contact him again. It sounds like he was the first to bring up the stuff and you didn't mention it in your OP so I doubt it's all that important to you.

    There are a few cosmetics but there nearly empty to be fair and all I can think of is a scarf and maybe a DVD so the fact he even suggested I call for these is slightly puzzling


    Its not all that puzzling, he is after messing with your head now and knows that you will call whenever he texts. He will text when he is horny or needing a boost again and you will go back.

    You cant see the wood for the trees now as its got you in a tizz but maybe you don't want to move on...it doesn't seem like you do.


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