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Jokes not everyone will get

  • 28-05-2009 11:59am
    #1
    General Zod
    Registered Users Posts: 2,661 ✭✭✭General Zod


    V/I is futile.


«134567

Comments

  • #2
    chopperbyrne
    Registered Users Posts: 10,968 ✭✭✭✭chopperbyrne


    I'll go with the obvious.

    There are 10 types of people in this world, those that understand binary and those that don't.


  • #3
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    "What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing."

    I sent that around to most of my mates....about say...60% texted back going "what?". Facepalm.

    And another;

    "Did you hear that exaggerations are up a million percent this year?"


  • #4
    TheTubes
    Registered Users Posts: 721 ✭✭✭TheTubes


    chin_grin wrote: »
    "What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing."

    brilliant.


  • #5
    ejmaztec
    Registered Users Posts: 23,973 ✭✭✭✭ejmaztec


    chin_grin wrote: »
    "What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing."

    I sent that around to most of my mates....about say...60% texted back going "what?". Facepalm.

    And another;

    "Did you hear that exaggerations are up a million percent this year?"

    It's the way you tell 'em.:(


  • #6
    Miriam Immense Junkie
    Posts: 1,007 ✭ Miriam Immense Junkie


    I'm so cultured, I make yoghurt jealous


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  • #7
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    chin_grin wrote: »
    "What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing."

    I sent that around to most of my mates....about say...60% texted back going "what?". Facepalm.

    It doesn't really work as a text joke though, does it?

    It's the sort of thing that you need to hear.

    Steve Martin used to have a big long involved joke about plumbing with lots of technical jargon thrown in and when he finished there'd be stony silence. He'd look around and say "Is that plumbing convention not in tonight?"

    I liked that one.


  • #8
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    ejmaztec wrote: »
    It's the way you tell 'em.:(
    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    It doesn't really work as a text joke though, does it?

    It's the sort of thing that you need to hear.

    See, I'm of the other opinion that it only works when read! Dunno. When you say it people look at you like a dog that's just been shown a card trick. When it's written down you can kinda look back and go..."Ah, yeah....get it now". Or maybe when I first came across it, it was written and that's the medium I use.

    Diff'rent Strokes I s'pose.


  • #9
    javaboy
    Registered Users Posts: 15,094 ✭✭✭✭javaboy


    Moved from After Hours. Please read the charter here before saying "that joke is crap". :)


  • #10
    Rebekah Unsightly Dachshund
    Posts: 0 ✭ Rebekah Unsightly Dachshund


    chin_grin wrote: »
    "Did you hear that exaggerations are up a million percent this year?"


    Classic..


  • #11
    Steoob
    Registered Users Posts: 2,552 ✭✭✭Steoob


    chin_grin wrote:
    What's the most important factor a comedian can have timing.
    OK can someone please explain this joke haha.


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  • #12
    Rabies
    Registered Users Posts: 15,258 ✭✭✭✭Rabies


    Steoob wrote: »
    OK can someone please explain this joke haha.

    No pause.


  • #13
    Slidey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,811 ✭✭✭✭Slidey


    Rabies wrote: »
    No pause.
    That the one about the dog with no legs?


  • #14
    kev_s88
    Registered Users Posts: 2,636 ✭✭✭kev_s88


    how did the crotchet get into the 3/4 bar of music???


    he waltzed in :D *








    *this is a very music nerd joke so i really dont expect many people to get it :D


  • #15
    WithCheesePlease
    Registered Users Posts: 1,006 ✭✭✭WithCheesePlease


    General Zod wrote: »
    V/I is futile.

    Uhhh, I had to look that up.

    Ok, this joke is crap but it fits the bill...

    2 republicans are walking down the road in Belfast when they see a guy standing against a wall.
    "An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?"
    "Ni ceapaim"


  • #16
    Steoob
    Registered Users Posts: 2,552 ✭✭✭Steoob


    Rabies wrote: »
    No pause.
    Oh... ya I got that, I just assumed that there was a funny answer. I was wrong.


  • #17
    sedantez
    Registered Users Posts: 60 ✭✭sedantez


    Q. Whats the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

    A. Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon....

    whereas ...

    Michael Jackson sleeps with small children.


  • #18
    FruitLover
    Registered Users Posts: 2,534 ✭✭✭FruitLover


    どうして鶏はメビウスの輪を横切ったの？

    同じ側にいくためさ。


  • #19
    byrner88
    Registered Users Posts: 1,088 ✭✭✭byrner88


    FruitLover wrote: »
    どうして鶏はメビウスの輪を横切ったの？

    同じ側にいくためさ。

    thats hillarious


  • #20
    Bearhunter
    Registered Users Posts: 656 ✭✭✭Bearhunter


    gearoid_healy wrote: »
    Uhhh, I had to look that up.

    Ok, this joke is crap but it fits the bill...

    2 republicans are walking down the road in Belfast when they see a guy standing against a wall.
    "An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?"
    "Ni ceapaim"


    Genius, pure fuggin genius.

    Why was Lieutenant Uhuru brown?

    Cos William Shatner


  • #21
    kildara
    Registered Users Posts: 456 ✭✭kildara


    FruitLover wrote: »
    どうして鶏はメビウスの輪を横切ったの？

    同じ側にいくためさ。
    byrner88 wrote: »
    thats hillarious

    Hirrarious?


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  • #22
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,656 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    http://www.xs4all.nl/~jcdverha/scijokes/


  • #23
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,656 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    Meiosis?


  • #24
    thebullkf
    Registered Users Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭thebullkf


    did you know that 60% of statistics are made up....and 30% of people believe that.


  • #25
    thebullkf
    Registered Users Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭thebullkf


    5/3rds of people don't understand fractions.


  • #26
    thebullkf
    Registered Users Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭thebullkf


    statistically 6 out of 7 dwarves aren't happy


  • #27
    thebullkf
    Registered Users Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭thebullkf


    whats the diff. between an apple and an orange?

    they're both green.












    except for the orange.


  • #28
    WithCheesePlease
    Registered Users Posts: 1,006 ✭✭✭WithCheesePlease


    Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac?

    He stayed up all night wondering if there was a dog.


  • #29
    banjopaul
    Registered Users Posts: 931 ✭✭✭banjopaul


    gearoid_healy wrote: »
    Uhhh, I had to look that up.

    Ok, this joke is crap but it fits the bill...

    2 republicans are walking down the road in Belfast when they see a guy standing against a wall.
    "An ceapann tú go bhfuil an fear sin san U.V.F.?"
    "Ni ceapaim"

    very good!


  • #30
    staker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,677 ✭✭✭staker


    Two lesbianns in a bath.
    One says, "Where's the soap?", the other replies
    "Does, doesn't it?"


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  • #31
    Slidey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,811 ✭✭✭✭Slidey


    Heard that before but it is class... ^


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