"I'm As Serious As Cancer When I Say Rhythm Is A Dancer!"

Allyall · 13-06-2012 5:02pm

Led Zeppelin- 1975: If the sun refused to shine, I would still be loving you. When mountains crumble to the sea, there will still be you and me. Kind woman, I give you my all, Kind woman, nothing more.
Nicki Minaj- 2012: You a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, (yeah) you a, you a stupid hoe, you a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid), you a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid), you a stupid hoe, you a, you a stupid hoe (stupid, stupid) (stupid, stupid)

************************

I'm blue bada bee bada dee bada ba dee

13-06-2012 5:03pm

rainbowdrop wrote: »

Wait......what...... Jools Holland was in the band that did Cool for Cats?

Well, ya learn something new every day:o

He was indeed. And I've no idea how Squeeze would figure in a worst ever lyrics thread. They were inspired.

"I never thought it would happen, with me and the girl from Clapham"

mud · 13-06-2012 5:48pm

Skid wrote: »

You should give Peter Frampton the 'credit' for that one, as he wrote and performed the original.

Decent song, and if you really think those lyrics are 'the worst' you need to open your ears to some of the dreadful ****e the Black Eyed Peas have pedalled in recent years.

Well aware that P F had the original, I posted the version that me and my mates used to laugh at years ago. I've never listened to B E P aside from maybe hearing them on the radio but was never interested enough to seek out their lyrics.

Pace2008 · 13-06-2012 6:55pm

Summer Girls by LFO, hands down:

Yeah...I like it when the girls stop by.. In the summer
Do you remember, Do you remember?
...when we met..That summer??

[Chorus:]
New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

[Verse 1:]
Hip Hop Marmalade spic And span,
Met you one summer and it all began
You're the best girl that I ever did see,
The great Larry Bird Jersey 33
When you take a sip you buzz like a hornet
Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Call me Willy Whistle cause I can't speak baby
Something in your eyes went and drove me crazy
Now I can't forget you and it makes me mad,
Left one day and never came back
Stayed all summer then went back home,
Macauly Culkin wasn't Home Alone
Fell deep in love,but now we ain't speaking
Michael J Fox was Alex P Keaton
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Chorus:]
New Kids On The block,had a bunch of hits
Chinese food makes me sick.
And I think it's fly when girls stop by for the summer,for the summer
I like girls that wear Abercrombie and Fitch,
I'd take her if I had one wish,
But she's been gone since that summer..
Since that summer

[Verse 2:]
Cherry Pez,cold crush,rock star boogie
Used to hate school so I had to play hookie,
Always been hip to the B-boY Style
Known to act wild and make girls smile,
Love New Edition and the Candy Girl
Remind me of you because you rock my world
You come from Georgia where the peaches grow
They drink lemonade and speak real slow
You love hip hop and rock n roll
Dad took off when you were 4 years old
There was a good man named Paul Revere
I feel much better baby when you're near
You love fun dip and cherry Coke,
I like the way you laugh when I tell a joke
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]
In the summertime girls got it going on,
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like,
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

[Verse 3]
Bugaloo shrimp and pogo sticks
My mind takes me back there oh so quick
Let you off the hook like my man Mr. Limpet
Think about that summer and I bug,cause I miss it
Like the color purple,macaroni and cheese,
Ruby red slippers and a bunch of trees
Call you up but whats the use
I like Kevin Bacon,but I hate Footloose
Came in the door I said it before,I think I'm over you
but I'm really not sure
When I met you I said my name was Rich
You look like a girl from Abercrombie and Fitch

[Repeat Chorus]

[Bridge:]
In the summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summer girls come and summer girls go
Some are worth while and some are so so,
Summertime girls got it going on
Shake and wiggle to a hip hop song
Summertime girls are the kind I like
I'll steal your honey like I stole your bike

[Repeat Chorus]

brummytom · 13-06-2012 7:02pm

bluewolf wrote: »

no no no no no no no no no no no no theres no lyrics

I actually love that song.

ArtyM · 13-06-2012 7:38pm

In the competition for worst lyrics maybe this deserves a mention, on the grounds of inaccuracy...
"You'll never beat the Irish"

dr.bollocko · 13-06-2012 7:58pm

Whatever happened to all the heroes?

All the Shakespearoes?

Jesus christ. My ears burn every time i hear that one.

grindle · 13-06-2012 8:01pm

Allyall wrote: »

Led Zeppelin- 1975

VS

Nicki Minaj- 2012:

The Royal Teens - Short Shorts - 1957

Ooh man, dig that crazy chick.
Who wears short shorts
We wear short shorts
They're such short shorts
We like short shorts
Who wears short shorts
We wear short shorts.

Joanna Newsom - No Provenance - 2010

Poor old dirty little dog-size horse!
swaying and wheezing,
as a matter of course;
swaying and wheezing,
as a matter of pride.
That poor old nag, not four palms wide,
had waited a long time,
coated in salt,
buckled like a ship run foul of the fence.
In the middle of the night,
she'd sprung up,
no provenance,
bearing the whites of her eyes.

Captain Graphite · 13-06-2012 8:08pm

MacArthur Park surely deserves a mention. Musically it's quite a good song but some of the lyrics are just.......bizarre.

"Pressed in love's hot fevered iron
Like a striped pair of pants"

"MacArthur Park is melting in the dark
All the sweet green icing flowing down.
Someone left the cake out in the rain.
And I don't think I can take it, 'cause it took so long to bake it,
And I'll never have that recipe again."

xzanti wrote: »

Life by Des'ree has to be the worst lyrics of all time..

:eek:

To be fair though, I think we all would rather eat toast than see a ghost. That line is really beautiful because it's universal; every man, woman and child can relate to it.

du Maurier wrote: »

Surely Ace of Base were knocking around this time as well. The Sign.

:mad: Don't knock Ace of Base. They were awesome!

This is my happy song. DON'T YOU DARE KNOCK MY HAPPY SONG!

mud wrote: »

I always thought these were the worst:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NYH9MugKJRg

For ages my sister thought that song was 'Baby I Love Your Wig'. Evidently the title didn't give her any clue as to what the actual lyric was.

dr.bollocko · 13-06-2012 8:10pm

You cannot seriously suggest that MacArthur Park has bad lyrics?

That song is bloody awesome. Those lyrics are pure poetry. I sometimes feel like a cake left out in the rain.

That song speaks to our souls.

wilkie2006 · 13-06-2012 8:24pm

How about this fcuking $hit by Damien Dempsey...?

To set the scene: the Garda are at his house with a warrant or something. Here's the chorus...

It's a bad time Garda, the house' an awful sight
It's a bad time Garda, come back tomorrow night
It's a bad time Garda, the kitchen is a sin
You picked a bad time Garda, we'll get some biscuits in
We'll get some biscuits in, we'll get some bickys in
For you, for you, for you

Allyall · 13-06-2012 9:02pm

I wonder how
I wonder why
Yesterday you told me 'bout the blue blue sky
And all that I can see is just a yellow lemon-tree
I'm turning my head up and down
I'm turning turning turning turning turning around
And all that I can see is just another lemon-tree

Irish Guitarist · 13-06-2012 9:05pm

I never thought anything about those lyrics until news reports started appearing about how offensive they were. They're not really bad lyrics at all, they're just considered politically incorrect.

I think Wannabe by The Spice Girls is far worse. The lyrics are excruciating.

"Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I'll tell you what I want, what I really really want
So tell me what you want, what you really really want
I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna, I wanna really
Really really wanna zigazig ha"

The video also annoys me. At the intro before the song starts they start verbally abusing and making fun of an old homeless man. I always thought it was a stupid message to send to children that this behaviour was acceptable and was considered 'girl power'.

Irish Guitarist · 13-06-2012 9:14pm

Another one I hate is "There She Goes" by The Las. It's considered a work of genius by most people but I find it excruciating. The same couple of lines repeated for about two minutes. Some songs, especially early rock and roll songs like Be-Bop-A-Lula, can get away with being repetive but There She Goes just sounds whiny and annoying.

Dun · 13-06-2012 9:17pm

No no no no no no no no, this is THE 2 Unlimited choon

Y'all ready for this? The background track to every other sports news commentary in the 1990s.

wilkie2006 · 13-06-2012 9:21pm

Irish Guitarist wrote: »

Another one I hate is "There She Goes" by The Las. It's considered a work of genius by most people but I find it excruciating. The same couple of lines repeated for about two minutes. Some songs, especially early rock and roll songs like Be-Bop-A-Lula, can get away with being repetive but There She Goes just sounds whiny and annoying.

I would have said that was one of the better songs... you know what it's about, right? Heroin.

There she goes
There she goes again
Racing through' my brain
And I just can't contain
This feelin' that remains

There she blows
There she blows again
Pulsing through' my vein

And I just can't contain
This feelin' that remains

There she goes, there she goes again
She calls my name, pulls my train
No-one else could heal my pain

SteoL · 13-06-2012 9:23pm

Fantastic tune which used to raise the roof in the dirtiest most sweatiest kips there were with an atmosphere that will never be beaten. Just reminded me I have snaps greatest hits so on it goes.

Ah the memories :pac:

SteoL · 13-06-2012 9:26pm

dodzy wrote: »

Ah yes, the good auld days. Swiftly followd by SNAP - "I got the power" - great stuff:D

The Power came first I believe, then RiaD then Exterminate. Another fantastic track

flutterflye · 13-06-2012 9:27pm

wilkie2006 wrote: »

I would have said that was one of the better songs... you know what it's about, right? Heroin.

Is it?? :eek:
This is nearly as :eek: as when I realised what Puff the Magic Dragon was about!

mud · 13-06-2012 9:34pm

flutterflye wrote: »

Is it?? :eek:
This is nearly as :eek: as when I realised what Puff the Magic Dragon was about!

And you know 'Golden Brown' by The Stranglers right?

flutterflye · 13-06-2012 9:37pm

mud wrote: »

And you know 'Golden Brown' by The Stranglers right?

My god - you're right! :eek:
Aagghhh! Stop ruining my innocence!

whymeagain · 13-06-2012 9:38pm

J Cheever Loophole wrote: »

Well, if it's crap lyrics you want, then Cool For Cats by Squeeze has to get a mention - "I kiss her for the first time, and then I take her home, I'm invited in for coffee and I give the dog a bone" :eek:

I still thought Squeeze were great!!

squeeze are implying the girl is a dog and he is giving her one..........
great lyrics

mud · 13-06-2012 9:38pm

flutterflye wrote: »

My god - you're right! :eek:
Aagghhh! Stop ruining my innocence!

hahaha ok, I won't mention Ebeneezer Good so :pac:

KKkitty · 13-06-2012 9:42pm

I think The Vengaboys deserve an honourable mention.
The Vengabus is coming,
And everybody's jumping,
New York to San Fransisco,
An inter city disco,
The wheels of steel are turning,
Traffic lights are burning,
So if you wanna party,
Come on and move your body.

errlloyd · 13-06-2012 9:51pm

silverharp wrote: »

the Killers surely "Are we human, or are we dancer?" it hurts my brain to hear it

I forgive this because it was in response to that Hunter S Thompson quote "Is America bringing up a generation of dancers". (I.E, its not something massively stupid they made up). Or you could choose to hear it as "denser" and then its ok.

Anyway, surely someone has already posted the Great Defector by Bell X1.

I am the defector and you're the farmer's daughter
You've been teasing us farm boys
'Til we start talking about those rabbits, George
Oh, won't you tell us about those rabbits, George?

I am the defector, I give it what it needs
Let's make a new world order
And let's make it rhyme

You're the chocolate at the end of my Cornetto
I love the way your under wire bra
Always sets off that X-ray machine

Coming in to land
And now I love the color of it all
Blue lights on the runway
I love the color of it all

I am the defector 'cause someone stirred my soul
With that great big stick of hers
Kind of looks like an oar

The accountants have taken the movie
Yeah, they're on set
The people from the mobile phone company
Say who gets to play and who gets to not

You're a picture of the checkout girl
Hand me a plastic bag
I got the sweats trying to open it
As it all piles up, I wish I didn't bite my nails

Coming in to land
And now I love the color of it all
Blue lights on the runway
I love the color of it all

Mmm, getting ready to spill my guts
And I love the color of it all
To the waitress on roller skates
I love the color of it all, oh the color of it all

I am the great defector so I must affect an air
Of a man who's maybe seen too much
But still just manages to care

You're the chocolate at the end of my Cornetto
I love the way your under wire bra
Always sets off that X-ray machine

Coming in to land
And now I love the color of it all
Blue lights on the runway
I love the color of it all

Getting ready to spill my guts
And I love the color of it all
To the, to the waitress on roller-skates
I love the color of it all, oh the color of it all

Waitress on roller skates, waitress on roller skates
(Love the color of it all)
Waitress on roller skates, waitress on roller skates

Waitress on roller skates, Waitress on roller skates
(Love the color of it all)
Waitress on roller skates, woo

SteoL · 13-06-2012 10:05pm

mud wrote: »

flutterflye wrote: »

My god - you're right! :eek:
Aagghhh! Stop ruining my innocence!

hahaha ok, I won't mention Ebeneezer Good so :pac:

That was a true story (song) back then

Jimmy Iovine · 13-06-2012 10:54pm

aaronjumper wrote: »

Has anyone mentioned Nicki Minaj yet?
Some of hers are just. . . so bad.
I thought rappers were supposed to be better at forming decent lyrics.

They are 10 times better at it than she is. But she's not really a rapper, at least not to most people who have a clue about music.