Cheated?

BikeQueery · 29-07-2014 4:21pm

Your family aren't going out with her, you are. Don't be afraid to rock the boat. You were the one that was cheated on. Tell them. Don't let them sway your decisions either, it's your life not theirs.

Stay away from the drink. It makes things worse, not better. And hang overs increase self pity and weak-minded thinking. You'll be thinking clearer later man, just keep your head down until the hangover ends.

doubter · 29-07-2014 4:43pm

Snoutface wrote: »

The fact that she was saying it to me last Friday with real venom, that she had slept with the guy, and then changed her mind the next day really made me terrified that she had actually done it.
I guess I'm using this as a sounding board. What would people do in my position? How can I be sure this never happens again? I can't believe it, I haven't even looked at another woman since I met her. Is being hammered an excuse? How come I get absolutely hammered and there's no other women ever involved?
I'm so sad right now

Hey-Whilst one can forgive, forgetting is a whole different cattle of fish.
1) Being hammered is an explanation, but not an excuse
2)Next to that she was also furiously angry and probably hurt.
Add up 1 and 2 and you end up with a drunken angry cheat.

Ye 2 need to talk. Ouside your comfort zone, in a public place where you can't let rip. No alcohol and no hang overs.Possibly after taking a few days away form each other and try and see the issue with new eyes.

However, you will never be able to go back to before this. Will you ever be able to trust her again? Unlikely.
It is up to you to decide what you can and cannot live with.
Good luck.

maria34 · 29-07-2014 5:40pm

OP you just pray that she isnt pregnant right now! Because women can lie about getting period (and we know shes quiet a ****e liar) unless you checked ofcourse. Doubt so.

The fact she has not any female friends, says a lot. Women just dont like her for some reason, you even may know why.

You have to tell your parents and brother, they still think you are an ass and she is an angel. Nobody will think you are a loser dont know why you think that.

Dumping her is the best resolution for you, it hurts for a while but you will be grand. If you stay you will be hurt all your life long. Even doubting if your future kids are yours. Do you want that?

Holsten · 29-07-2014 10:08pm

End the relationship ASAP.

Cut off all contact with this women... save yourself the headache.

Vuustar · 29-07-2014 10:26pm

Snoutface wrote: »

The thought of her leaving is heartbreaking though.

Hey man, I haven't read every post on this thread but I agree with a few that I have read...

Take it from a stranger on the internet, you need to get rid of this woman and enjoy your own company for awhile.
You can never trust a woman that does this to you... And I read you said "I feel like a loser"...it's not ur fault she was a cheating b....

If u stay with her ur screwed, if u break up with her it'll hurt for awhile and U will prob feel lonely but u will be better off long term...do u wanna be paranoid all the time and checking her fb all the time? Just remember how you felt when you logged in her fb and u found out it was true,..my heart would've fell out of my ass at that moment...

also...have some self-worth... Self-respect... I'd rather die than sleep with a woman that does that to me... What if she caught an std...hpv... HIV.... Whatever.... And gave it to you as a gift from him... And u love her? I don't post much online but man I saw this and it got me heated... Be a man!!!

Good luck.

orlyice · 29-07-2014 10:44pm

Firstly I have to say I really feel for you, horrible situation to be finding yourself in. I hope you sorted out somewhere to stay tonight.

Secondly, you seem to be in shock right now, I wouldn't be making any decisions right now about the future of your relationship, I think you need a while to process everything that has happened. You mention that you are not that close to your brother and you don't feel you can talk about this, have you any mates you trust that you can talk to? Another option and one I think may work for you is the possibility of seeing a counsellor, there you can talk openly and freely about everything that happened, he or she don't know you, they don't know your gf but you can get all your thoughts out and it might help you see things more clearly. It might help you come to a decision quicker on the future of your relationship.

Personally I could never trust someone again after they cheated on me, and I would try to ignore her excuse of thinking the relationship was over. Couples fight all the time, people even say that the relationship is over in the heat of an argument. But the decision on the future of your relationship is yours to make.

I wish you all the best and I hope you look after yourself.

Tokyo · 29-07-2014 10:59pm

Hi OP,

unfortunately we have to take the decision to close this thread.

We understand that you are going through a tough time at the moment and that you have come here to seek advice, however it has come to our attention that your partner whom you mention in your opening post has become aware of your thread and intends to post in it, and in our experience once this happens the thread spirals downwards, with both parties posting back and forth trying to make their point, often airing dirty linen in public in the process to do so.

At that stage, the only real option available to us is to ask you both to take it offline and discuss the problem face to face, and see if you can both come to an agreement on how to move forward. You've received some good advice from a good cross section of the community here. I hope that it proves useful to you, and I wish you luck whatever the outcome of this situation.

Regards,
Mike

Cheated?

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