Risking your life for strangers?

Handsome Bob · 01-04-2010 7:19pm #1

Okay my fellow gents, I think we all like to talk a big game when it comes to playing the hero. We like to think that if we saw someone getting beaten up by scumbags or if we saw a woman getting a hard time off someone that we would intervene. But honestly, would you?

I mean we don't live in a world anymore where people have fisticuffs at dawn. Scum bags are an entirely different breed to what they were just as recent as 10 years ago. They carry knives. They have less fear these days about doing serious damage to people. They increasingly care less about the consequences of their actions.

I've observed plenty of conversations where one guy said he witnessed someone being attacked but did nothing, and there is always another guy who inevitably starts insulting the other person.

"You're not a real man, I would of sorted those guys out."

To that I always respond with "Until you're in the situation, you don't know what you'd do so leave it out." I know for a fact that they wouldn't do anything, they just talk a big game. I've seen these people stay quiet while someone has started on their mate. I've seen them act hard and rowdy when drunk but run like little girls at the first sign of the gardai. The truth is simply this in my humble opinion; it's all just male bravado, and until you're in the situation you don't know what you'd do.

I mean we have so much to live for. Families. Girlfriends. Friends. Are you 100% certain that you'd try and come to a stranger's aid?

corkcomp · 01-04-2010 7:26pm

it depends. I tend not to get involved in rescuing people from fights as I have seen several friends get abuse / slaps from girls they thought they were helping out and if two guys involved its a dodgy business.

In all other situations id run in without even thinking if I thought I could help someone, its an instinctive thing, and nothing to do with wanting to be perceived as a hero.

the_syco · 01-04-2010 7:29pm

LZ5by5 wrote: »

I mean we don't live in a world anymore where people have fisticuffs at dawn. Scum bags are an entirely different breed to what they were just as recent as 10 years ago. They carry knives. They have less fear these days about doing serious damage to people. They increasingly care less about the consequences of their actions.

Also, said scumbags idea of fair is fair for them, outnumbering you.

LZ5by5 wrote: »

I mean we have so much to live for. Families. Girlfriends. Friends. Are you 100% certain that you'd try and come to a stranger's aid?

Suppose it depends on the hostility of the scumbags, and who started it. Have seen some f**kers give abuse to scumbags, thinking that the lads they hang with will join in when the scumbags attack them.

Handsome Bob · 01-04-2010 7:34pm

corkcomp wrote: »

In all other situations id run in without even thinking if I thought I could help someone, its an instinctive thing, and nothing to do with wanting to be perceived as a hero.

That's interesting. I think I'd have the same mentality. Like the smallest of things drive me up the wall with guilt. If I walked away from someone getting a right kicking from a number of people I think it would drive me mad, paranoid about what other people think about me etc etc.

the_syco wrote: »

Suppose it depends on the hostility of the scumbags, and who started it. Have seen some f**kers give abuse to scumbags, thinking that the lads they hang with will join in when the scumbags attack them.

How would you feel about a mate who started something? If it was a one on one I'd probably leave it, but a number of lads is a different story. In that scenario we're back to what I said above, about guilt driving you mad.

PK2008 · 01-04-2010 7:42pm

My first reaction would most likely be shock, once I had collected myself Id probably start flailing my arms and legs about while making loud animal noises in a bizaare attempt to scare them away similar to how you might try to scare a bear away.

It would probably be effective in the sense that the gang would be so startled by the strange performance that their victim would have a chance to escape, problem is they would most likely turn their fury on me. At which time I would peggit!!!!!

Not pretty but possibly effective

L.Jenkins · 01-04-2010 8:26pm

LZ5by5 wrote: »

"You're not a real man, I would of sorted those guys out."

It's much easier said than done to jump in for some poor unfortunate soul, if your out numbered and they have weapons. As the old saying goes, no point bringing a knive to a gun fight!

Need2Know4Sure · 01-04-2010 9:15pm

Its a tough one. I dont think you can really answer that unless your there when it happens.

As said before you dont know people have on them these days.

Ive heard of fella jumping in before to stop fights.....Then they themselves were followed home and jumped on.

MrStuffins · 01-04-2010 9:20pm

It's not my problem! They have no problem kicking one guy to half to death so they'll have no problem doing the same to me!

Whats the point in me jumping in and getting beaten up?

And for anyone who says "You're not a real man". You may be right, but at least i'm not a dead man

(ps, if it was one of my mates i'd be in like a shot. Taking a beating would be worth the chance of stopping it. But not for a stranger)

Herbal Deity · 01-04-2010 9:38pm

LZ5by5 wrote: »

Okay my fellow gents, I think we all like to talk a big game when it comes to playing the hero.

Not me, nor anyone I know really...

I don't really hang around with guys who think they're "hard" though...

I might call the gardaí from a safe distance if I saw someone in serious trouble. Jumping in to try and save the day is moronic.

Khannie · 01-04-2010 10:07pm

Herbal Deity wrote: »

Jumping in to try and save the day is moronic.

In what way? Or how would you define jumping in?

tink2 · 01-04-2010 10:12pm

I think its just gut instinct you do or dont get involved it's not something you stand around and weigh up!

Herbal Deity · 01-04-2010 10:23pm

If you attempt to directly intervene in a serious incident, e.g. try to break up a fight, then objectively all you're doing is putting on extra person, yourself, at risk.

Pete M. · 01-04-2010 10:40pm

I do recall a chap I know jumping into a rivers high waters outside a niteclub and pulling a girl from the torrents. She was dead otherwise.
Twas truely heroic.
It's impossible to know if you'd do it yourself without being put in the situation.
Would like to think I could.
As for scumbags, let them away off at it. It's usually amoungst themselves anyway.

01-04-2010 10:51pm

I jumped into a river once to try save a guy. He died, turned out it was a suicide. jumping in was very instinctive, but I felt at all times in control, Im a good swimmer so I don't think it was anything remarkable.

I don't think anyone knows how they'd react till they're in a particular situation. For example, i'd never get involved in a fight, I've read too many stories of have-a-go heroes who end up in a body bag. Call the cops, and go home to your wife.

Daftendirekt · 02-04-2010 1:35am

Best thing to do would probably be just ring the Gardaí to be honest.

If I actually thought my intervention would achieve something other than getting myself knifed, then I probably would, but generally it'd just be a ridiculously reckless thing to do.

Bottle_of_Smoke · 02-04-2010 2:52am

If it was one guy I think i'd intervene. Possibly not if he appeared to be very strong/good fighter. More than that I wouldn't risk it.

Robbyn · 02-04-2010 9:49pm

It would be silly to intervene, in the case of scumbags anyway, I agree with the op in them being merciless, and who knows one could have a hiv infected needle ready to stab people with.

Will · 02-04-2010 10:57pm

Was in a situation few years back, a big gang brawl broke out and the groups splintered and began pummeling all around themselves. One guy was outnumbered and was being beaten, he fell to the ground and was getting kicks to the head. I'm not a macho type, but was just instinctive, jumped up started shouting and running at them. Guy was KO'd so rang for an ambulance, the lads came back but again just went into automatic and started shouting :-/ didn't get hurt or hurt anyone else. Was stupidly lucky but it didn't really enter into my head, just went to his aide.

Hard to describe.

Handsome Bob · 02-04-2010 11:03pm

I think I know what you mean Will. It wasn't that you were willing to fight, rather you were just galvanised into movement by the sheer lack of humanity of someone kicking the head off of someone else. Disbelief mode I like to call it.

iptba · 03-04-2010 12:12am

LZ5by5 wrote: »

I think I know what you mean Will. It wasn't that you were willing to fight, rather you were just galvanised into movement by the sheer lack of humanity of someone kicking the head off of someone else. Disbelief mode I like to call it.

I've a theory that wrestling may turn this instinct off a bit in people. Even though boxing could be said to be barbaric, at least there are rules. So when the bell goes, you can’t keep fighting or kick the guy when he’s going to his corner. Even though I know wrestling is an act, I find it difficult to watch.

KittyeeTrix · 03-04-2010 1:48am

About 6 years ago I was sitting in my car with my 3 young kids in the back waiting near my husband's work to collect him.
I noticed these 3 traveller lads running and dumping wheelbarrows with tools in them into the garden of a corner house.
An older man aged about 60 came running after them, it turns out they had robbed the tools from his garden where he had been having work done. They started to push him about the place.

The place was teeming with people walking from work at the nearby factory and I was sure someone would step in and help him but no-one did. I couldn't sit in my car watching anymore and got out and started shouting at them to leave him alone.

It became a kinda stand-off with me in front of the old man. Loads of shouting, we both had grabbed the tools and were waving them about at the lads. They were shouting and telling me to eff off and that I would be sorry. I was shouting that I didn't give a flying fcuk and that I was gonna hang them to the guards etc. Thank god they ran as a cop car happened upon the scene before they managed to land a punch on me.

I was petrified but I dunno, I'm just not that kind of person to sit back and watch some-one get done over, especially older vulnerable people.....

I do think it is an instinctive thing, probably ill advised in hindsight but I know I'd do it again tomorrow if it happened!!

scallywags · 03-04-2010 3:13am

walked into that one f p s

MrStuffins · 03-04-2010 3:30am

scallywags wrote: »

jesus always fight for the little person what is happening to you people?

i jumped in over a silly argument and got beaten for it.

jumped into gang fights too just for a laugh cos i was drunk!

:rolleyes:

DazMarz · 03-04-2010 4:15am

Call me a coward, call me smart, call me whatever. Unless it was someone very close to me, I would not even consider getting involved in any arguments or fights that have nothing to do with me.

I value my life too much to try and steam in and fulfil a role society has picked for me. I value my life too much to risk putting it in jeopardy for some stranger, a person who means nothing to me. Call me callous or cold-hearted, fine. But at least I will be alive and safe.

I have made it a habit of melting away into the crowd or out the rear door when trouble breaks out. Get away as far as you can and as fast as you can. That is what I always do whenever trouble lurks.

I do not want to be another statistic of street crime violence if I get stabbed in the neck trying to save someone I don't even know. I do not want to get HIV from some scummer who'll stick a needle into me because I ''did the right thing''. In short, I do not want to get hurt for no reason.

Sorry if I seem to be very hard-hearted towards my fellow man...

carefulnow100 · 03-04-2010 4:31am

been honest i dont think it depends to much on the size of the person giving the beating or how good he is at throwing a punch, I think its down to the vunrability of the person getting the beating. like a person before said an old man been pushed around by 3 lads? id prob feel like id have to do something but if 2 drunken fools who are beatin the $hit out of each other but both given as good as there gettin well Id let them at it. I think in recent years most lads have learned to step back from a fight involing wimmin. if someone else steps in it just elavates the whole situation. Ever look at 2 lads fighting in the street after drinks most people will let them be but if the have girlfriends they get involved and the whole situation gets very messy very quickly! suppose what im tryna say is i feel it depends who's gettin the beating!!

Scrambled egg · 03-04-2010 3:52pm

These days its just not worth the risk. You see some scumbag robbing a poor defenseless woman its best not to get involved. You may despise yourself for it, but come on, self preservation is key. Just hand over the money and get out of there missus because im not risking getting murdered just to save your purse.

Davidius · 04-04-2010 5:04am

There'd generally be no point in doing it. I'm a small and probably frail man with no fighting experience hence things would just become worse off overall.

Snowie · 04-04-2010 5:40am

I really dunno, the only time id jump in toany kind of fight is if my mates on the ground and not able to get up, and is being kicked...

mates of mine who are 6.5 say the same...

tho if where talking about eing a hero and i saw a little kid in trouble i react with in half a second if some ones drowning or that kinda trouble id help but fighting nah....

the_syco · 04-04-2010 3:43pm

LZ5by5 wrote: »

How would you feel about a mate who started something? If it was a one on one I'd probably leave it, but a number of lads is a different story. In that scenario we're back to what I said above, about guilt driving you mad.

I'm no longer mates with people who may start on others for no reason. Said people won't do the same for you.

Also, those "hard men" who would jump in would usually be known to the Garda, and thus be suspected as the one starting the fight. You join them, and you too will have a Garda record in a very short space of time. Said "hard men" tend not to land themselves in jail, but their mates always do.

=-=

The friends I have now, I know have my back if I got attacked, as I would have their back if they got attacked.

AnalFistyCuffs · 05-04-2010 1:58pm

fluffyorganic1 wrote: »

I couldn't sit in my car watching anymore and got out and started shouting at them to leave him alone.
I know I'd do it again tomorrow if it happened!!

Fair play to you for assisting the gentleman. Wish more people were like you. Unfortunately,..too many good samaritans have died / been injured as a result of them assisting in incidents.

questioner · 08-04-2010 11:50pm

LZ5by5 wrote: »

That's interesting. I think I'd have the same mentality. Like the smallest of things drive me up the wall with guilt. If I walked away from someone getting a right kicking from a number of people I think it would drive me mad, paranoid about what other people think about me etc etc.

.

exactly how i feel.

Its a terrible situation to be in, especially when you look around at the other people standing around and realise that a lot of them are enjoying the spectacle. I think those type of people are sick whereas the people who are fighting may have there reasons.

I worked as a doorman for 5 years, I was only 14 stone at the time and significantly smaller than a lot of the patrons and the majority of the other doormen. In five years i hit maybe 7 lads, tops. I got two black eyes and never got the comeback once in all the time i was working. i was a great talker and could reason or bore most lads out of having a go. i have stepped in a few times in street situations where it wouldn't have been required of me, usually saying something like "hes had enough, look at him hes in bits" etc etc, stroke the ego of the aggressor and he will probably stop. don't count on it though.

If it was two males flailing the arms wildly as is usually the case i dont think i would get involved, the courts are not impressed with this type of have a go heroism anymore, even though lawfully it is not a crime to protect someone you believe is being assaulted. dont count on it though.

another episode with a young lad i am acquainted with has illustrated the dangers of mixing it up on a night out. in short, he hit a lad and the guy knocked his head on the ground and is now confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. it is an absolute tragedy for everyone involved. the court case is still ongoing.

this is what you are gambling with when you get into the physical game, you could go to jail, you could be in a wheelchair, you could die. are you willing to risk that for what you believe is right?

Many years ago in america a young woman was beaten to death in the vicinity of the entrance to her apartment block. When the police canvassed the building they found 30 odd witnesses who heard her screams. Not one of them attempted to assist her.

kids, women and the elderly, i'd risk it for them. i dont want to live in a world where the violent can prey on the weak without fear of interference, I will be old someday, with the grace of god I'll have children and a wife, how could i expect anyone to protect them if i wasnt willing to do the same?

Young males, my age +/- ten years. sorry buddy, for the most part your on your own.

Risking your life for strangers?

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