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Non-Stutterer's View

2

Comments

  • #32
    Esel
    Registered Users Posts: 22,001 ✭✭✭✭Esel


    oirishman wrote: »
    A Stammer is where the person cant get the word out.. S............they become tongue tied
    A Stutter is where they keep repeating the first letter Fffffffffffffcuk the machine gun effect..
    I am a Stammerer myself
    There is no difference in meaning between the two words in current usage.
    Extracts from the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association:

    Added to these problems is the fact that the literature on speech and language disorders contains terminology introduced in early classifications but rarely used today (e.g., a semantic distinction between stuttering and stammering).

    Stammering is synonymous with stuttering and is the common term for the disorder in Great Britain. In North America, the term stammering is rarely used by speech-language pathologists.

    Not your ornery onager



  • #33
    Mollywolly
    Registered Users Posts: 566 ✭✭✭Mollywolly


    I'm a non-stammerer married to a stammerer. I know that his stammer came about as a result of a traumatic car accident he was involved in when he was a child (his mother died). It was noticeable when we first met but after a few months of going out I never really noticed it and now that we've been married for 16 years he doesn't stammer at all when he's with me. He says I give him confidence :) However, he does still do it when he's under stress, upset or in a new situation. I would never dream of finishing his sentence off for him though as I think this would annoy him quite a lot.


  • #34
    moonboy52
    Registered Users Posts: 2,186 ✭✭✭moonboy52


    oirishman wrote: »
    A Stammer is where the person cant get the word out.. S............they become tongue tied
    A Stutter is where they keep repeating the first letter Fffffffffffffcuk the machine gun effect..
    I am a Stammerer myself


    I also have a stammer and i class my stammer as a mental block. My mind is about 20 seconds ahead of my speech.

    Afaik there is a difference between a stammer and a stutter


  • #35
    BTRocket
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭BTRocket


    As far as I know a stammer and a stutter are the very same. caused by a self-conscious habit, also hereditary. I stammer, my son stammers, my uncle stammers and so does his grandson.

    My advise is try to relax, try yoga or some of these eastern meditation relaxation techniques,that's 2%. I mean only 2%, The uninformed will annoy u by saying relax when you speaking, BS I'm trying so hard to get the fn word out how can I relax. I mean take time to relax and chill. Then being relaxed will be the habbit,

    Practice vowel sounds,

    Curl your tongue and then relax it 5 times a day.

    Scrunch up your face for 2 seconds then relax, 3 times a day.

    Read slowly in a half chant naked after getting out of the shower. This get rid of in-habitation.

    Roll your eyes up to the right then down then left and back to top, slowly take 3 seconds

    Now that's another 5%.

    Find a good speach therapist who is a bit mad, well eccentric, or intelligent and arty farty. and your are on the home straight.

    some speach T can only apply the techniques that they learned in college, and what i would say to them is College gives u the basics, you must keep learning, keep trying somthing new, Whilst it's a job, and a profession, it must be a life-vocation.
    :D


  • #36
    StopNotWorking
    Registered Users Posts: 645 ✭✭✭StopNotWorking


    One of my best mates has a stammer, was so bad that at one point he was told to start learning sign incase it got to the point where he couldn't speak properly at all. It's cleared up a bit though and I have no problems with it. I never get impatient with him but sometimes if he gets a real bad run of it while we are chatting and gets pissed off I'll tell him to relax. It makes no ends to me how the words come out as long as they do.


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  • #37
    Amalgam
    Registered Users Posts: 6,026 ✭✭✭Amalgam


    I worked with someone that stammered and the people that would 'push him along' with guessed-wording-to-come would drive the man up the wall. Led to him not speaking at all with two fellow workers, got.. it became a tense situation.

    Another worker that asked directly about his stuttering (to his face) was lucky not to get a bunch of fives.

    I always blushed terribly dealing with the man, an issue for me, rather than him, no idea what brought that about, but if there was a prolonged verbal problem or spittle, I'd just blush heavily. I guess because I was trying to tip toe around an issue that was so visible. It's hard for some people to put that on the back burner, in their mind.


  • #38
    BTRocket
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭BTRocket


    If there were more of your kind around it would be a lot easier.

    As i said when you tell ur friend to relax when he is stammering it will freak him out, but your heart is in the right place. (sorry if that seems so fluffy it's not ment that way).

    Buy you friend a relaxation tape and tell him i said to make time to practice being relaxed. Practice being relaxed. that's step 1 and 2%.


  • #39
    Eve_Dublin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,886 ✭✭✭Eve_Dublin


    Hello!

    This is probably the first time in my life that I've admitted I've got a bit of a stammer...it's more of a case of not being able to get certain words out and using different words to avoid them. It's been quite bad recently for some reason but sometimes months can go by and I'm fine. It's usually during stressful periods or when I'm feeling down on myself and I tend to become very quiet during my stammering periods, which is not easy as I like to chat and I can sometimes become quite introverted, which gets me down. Vicious circle.

    I had it quite bad when I was a child and then nothing for years and kicked in again in my twenties.

    One question: for years I never admitted I had a stammer and no one pointed it out to me except for my sister once and she also has one but manages to keep it under control. I always thought it would be better just to ignore it so I wouldn't be so concious of it and I thought that would make it worse. I'm very concious of it though, even if I don't admit to it. What do you think?

    Another thing is I've a close friend who's a Speech Therapist (doing their PhD) and she's never pointed it out to me and I know I've stammered and have been stuck on my words in her company many, many times (we've been friends for years). Do they not want to make an issue of it because I haven't or does she feel uncomfortable pointing it out to a friend instead of a patient? Or neither? Would it be strange to ask her for her advice after all these years or should I continue as I am and not make an issue of it?

    Wow...strange to put that all down. Difficult to admit your "faults" I suppose.


  • #40
    BTRocket
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭BTRocket


    Hi Eve,
    As a child and teenager I always has the question in my mind when meeting someone for the the first few times, do they know I stammer.. this raises your (one's) level of self-consciousness, which in turn causes rocky or bumpy speech.

    My adise is yes come out and admitt it, but never apologise for having a stammer, it's not your fault. Even when the good Lord picked Moses do start his work down here, he told Moses' brother to speak for him when he got stuck. bet you didn't know that Moses had a stammer.

    To admitt it will lower your level of self consciousness.

    Now having a friend who is a Speech T is really a nuisance and cool at the same. I'll explain, nuisance because they initally will up the level self-C and cool because they are there to help. ST love to know what goes on in your mind when you get caught.

    I'd say it to my friend casually, just by passing a comment, just sow the seed... and see where it goes. The self-c will go away eventually.

    Remember your friend is probably uneasy as you about crossing the divide.

    My case was the opposite, I became very friendly with my Speech T, his family asked me to carry his coffin at his funeral, a real honour.

    What do you think of that.

    Rocket.


  • #41
    browne1230
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭browne1230


    Hi all,

    Im a novice here, but not to stammering. A person who stammers thinks that everyone sees them as a "stammerer" and its a big deal. In reality its not, as they have their own problems as well. Desensitising yourself to your stammer helps. Ive done self help for the lasr 12 years and thankfully Ive my stammer sorted out now. Its not easy but its worth it. I decided that I was going to break my stammer and I did. Some people are happy to go through life with a stammer. I wasnt, so I decided to do something about it. Its personal choice, thats all! Great thread, by the way!


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  • #42
    Squeeonline
    Registered Users Posts: 2,551 ✭✭✭Squeeonline


    A friend of mine has a stammer, and I'm just wondering about the etiquette around it.
    Can I help her finish words, or just leave her until the word comes out?

    I've never been close to anyone with a stutter/stammer so I'm not really sure what to do, and what not to do.


  • #43
    Stephen P
    Registered Users Posts: 1,891 ✭✭✭Stephen P


    My advice would be is to never finish her sentence. It can come across that you have no patience. Let her finish, I'm pretty sure she'll be happy you did. Now saying that she might rather you do but maybe ask her incase? I hate when people finish my sentence. I appreciate people who have patience when I speak. Have you ever spoke to her about it?


  • #44
    Squeeonline
    Registered Users Posts: 2,551 ✭✭✭Squeeonline


    Stephen P wrote: »
    My advice would be is to never finish her sentence. It can come across that you have no patience. Let her finish, I'm pretty sure she'll be happy you did. Now saying that she might rather you do but maybe ask her incase? I hate when people finish my sentence. I appreciate people who have patience when I speak. Have you ever spoke to her about it?

    Despite knowing her for over a year, I'd never talked to her properly before a couple of nights ago. In the whole conversation she only stammered when I asked her what subjects she was doing. Seemed like once I asked her to focus on that she had trouble.

    I'll take your advice and talk to her about it a bit.

    Thanks!


  • #45
    BTRocket
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭BTRocket


    Gerneral free flowing conversations are easy to follow, The speech terapists will say that you should never finish a sentence, fine in theory but what happens id you get caught for 3 or 4 minutes... you are just wishing that someone would finish it for you. try to sence how your friend is feeling.

    On the topic of subjects, direct qestions... the stammerer cannot use a negative technique called "word avoidance" to say the same thing using easier words, so it can put them on the spot. They used to rock me dead in school.

    If you slightly lower the tone and speed of your voice and keep eye contact but don't stear.... this will ease your friend's reaction

    Just remember when the stammerer get caugt up, their mind is in overdrive and they are looking for your reaction, and all techniques thought by speach therapists are instantly forgotten, unless they have been practiced regulary,

    There is a big fear that poeple don't realise they suffer from which Con O'Sullivan used to call "What do others think of me"
    What do others think of me....

    By the way Con O'Sullivan (RIP) was an Army cornel who had a very bad stammer until his 20s but went on to have one of the most molodical and free flowing voices in Ireland and Brittan.

    Hope this helps.. I'm always here....


  • #46
    moonandstars
    Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭moonandstars


    BigPhil wrote: »
    There is no definitive answer to your question as the actual cause of stammering is still not known. Some people think that it is genetic and it is passed down from parents to children, but in my case nobody in my family has a stammer so that theory isn't really conclusive. Other people think that it is psychological and could be caused from a traumatic event from childhood. Some scientists actually believe that the cause of stuttering is organic, that neurological differences exist between the brains of those who stammer and those who don't.

    It seems that in most cases people develop a stammer when they are learning to talk (so it becomes a habit) and while some are lucky enough to lose it after a few years others are burdened with it, to various degrees, for the rest of our lives.


    I have a stammer..much worse when i was younger..my 2 sisters and my eldest brother too..he has a bad 1. my mams brother has a bad 1 and my dad said he had a stammer when he was small. my nephew has a condition which affects his speech,dont think he picks it up from my sis..his mother,so he has started to stammer and is getting speech therapy for it..not enough if u ask me! he is only 6..god I remember how hard it was for me at that age,times have changed i think a bit now. anyway his little bro has started stammering..he picks it up from him i think. pity.
    I think the kind of childhood i had certainly didnt help my stammer at all.
    I was always lonely and stressed! so it could be a combination.


  • #47
    moonandstars
    Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭moonandstars


    oirishman wrote: »
    A Stammer is where the person cant get the word out.. S............they become tongue tied
    A Stutter is where they keep repeating the first letter Fffffffffffffcuk the machine gun effect..
    I am a Stammerer myself


    Stammering and stuttering mean the same thing. And stutter is a US term and stammer uk term..however most stammerers dont like to say they have a stammer,they will often use the word stutter.i stutter.
    I hate the word stammer,alot of us do!


  • #48
    Pdfile
    Registered Users Posts: 2,115 ✭✭✭Pdfile


    it can be annoying.

    depends on whats being said, accent and language....


    99.9% of the time it doesn't annoy me


  • #49
    BTRocket
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭BTRocket


    There are two ways to look at why we dislike the word stammer or stutter, it's so fe=kin hard to say or have we not come to terms with the word.


  • #50
    happy_feet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 97 ✭✭happy_feet


    one of my teachers has a stutter, and it makes absolutely no difference whatsoever like. fairplay to him to have the confidence to get up in front of a bunch and teenagers and teach like!


  • #51
    petrocelli
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2 ✭petrocelli


    As a left handed male stammerer, it has struck me over the years that a disproportionate number of stammerers are left handed, and almost all are male. This is purely anecdotal, but now when I get talking to a fellow stammerer I usually ask are they left handed, and am surprised at how often the answer is yes.

    Perhaps someone has shown this to be the case years ago and I missed it. Any thoughts?


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  • #52
    TheBa
    Registered Users Posts: 164 ✭✭TheBa


    petrocelli wrote: »
    As a left handed male stammerer, it has struck me over the years that a disproportionate number of stammerers are left handed, and almost all are male. This is purely anecdotal, but now when I get talking to a fellow stammerer I usually ask are they left handed, and am surprised at how often the answer is yes.

    Perhaps someone has shown this to be the case years ago and I missed it. Any thoughts?

    I am a left-handed male too, who has a stammer.

    However, when attending a course (The Maguire Programme), I asked a group to raise their hand if they were left handed and maybe slightly over half the room raised their hand.

    The only thing which wasn't taken into consideration was the severity of the stammer of each group. Perhaps the lefties suffer worse from their stammer, I'm not sure.


  • #53
    LizT
    Registered Users Posts: 29,089 ✭✭✭✭LizT


    petrocelli wrote: »
    As a left handed male stammerer, it has struck me over the years that a disproportionate number of stammerers are left handed, and almost all are male. This is purely anecdotal, but now when I get talking to a fellow stammerer I usually ask are they left handed, and am surprised at how often the answer is yes.

    Perhaps someone has shown this to be the case years ago and I missed it. Any thoughts?


    There has been research into this area and studies have shown that lefties are more likely to develop a stammer and dyslexia (Incidentally, lefties are better at recovering from a stroke! Just a random fact) I don't think there is any known reason for it. I'm a SLT student and we're studying dysfluency now and it's so interesting! There are so many different approaches to stammering therapy. Unfortunately, we've only covered pre-school and school age children so far, but I am quite interested in the area of adult stammering.


  • #54
    moonandstars
    Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭moonandstars


    Fallen Seraph wrote: »
    My brother's terribly afflicted by a stammer, and I've no problem with it. I really can't see what all the fuss about it is, tbh.

    Have u a stammer? If so, you would understand...it can affect confidence, self-belief, it can change your whole outlook on life and often determine what you do for a living, how you deal with life etc. It isin't as easy as saying it's not a big deal, it's quite complex for alot of stammerers.


  • #55
    lostpas5235
    Registered Users Posts: 35 ✭lostpas5235


    “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.“ - if only it was that simple!

    @fallen seraph. I wish I didn't make a big fuss about my stammer. It amazes me when I hear something like that. On the hand it is good to know that on the whole most people seem to be ok with people who stammer. But then why has it affected my life so much, why do I worry so much about being understood, why do avoid (work) phone conversations like the plague?

    @moonandstars, complex is one word I'd use, frustratingly complex. I think there are important cultural issues at play here, I can't quite put my finger on it. I mean is taboo too strong of a word to use here? A lot of people, including myself, avoid discussing stammering, or even acknowledging it. This leads to a significant lack of understanding, creates a bit of a divide. Forgive my rambling here, I am releasing years of pent up silence about this.

    @happyfeet. Thanks for sharing that, I really needed to hear that. I might be going back to college to do a PhD and I will probably have to do some teaching to pay the bills, the thought of that terrifies me.

    For the record right-handed male here.
    Also please do not finish my sentences for me, I hate that. Anyway, just thought I'd add my take on this. It feels good to finally come out, so to speak.


  • #56
    moonandstars
    Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭moonandstars


    I can finally talk about it now..But I DO understand exactly what your going through..it seems nobody has a clue what it's like..and non-stutterers don't understand..this completely takes over your life..and when one is young and in school, a teenager etc..it is not easy at all.
    But I am going back to college and I am apprehensive but I have learned to come to terms with it..I barely stutter much at all now..I have learned to be a bit stronger and fcuk everyone else if they don't like it!!:D


  • #57
    moonboy52
    Registered Users Posts: 2,186 ✭✭✭moonboy52


    moonandstars wrote: »
    I can finally talk about it now..But I DO understand exactly what your going through..it seems nobody has a clue what it's like..and non-stutterers don't understand..this completely takes over your life..and when one is young and in school, a teenager etc..it is not easy at all.
    But I am going back to college and I am apprehensive but I have learned to come to terms with it..I barely stutter much at all now..I have learned to be a bit stronger and fcuk everyone else if they don't like it!!:D

    Go team! :)

    A good attitude.

    I also have a stammer although it was a lot worse in school.

    Teenagers can be very cruel and no doubt it scars you in later life.

    It does affect my life but you know what when i see someone with a disability worse than my own it puts things into perspective


  • #58
    moonandstars
    Registered Users Posts: 225 ✭✭moonandstars


    Not only teenagers are cruel...TEACHERS are cruel!
    There are some things best forgotton..if it were that easy!


  • #59
    Pulsating Star
    Registered Users Posts: 702 ✭✭✭Pulsating Star


    Just came across this section and thought to say something as I had some time as a stammerer. I say stammerer as per the difference given earlier even if incorrect, I would get stuck at the start of sentences/words.

    For me it was mostly secondary school years and a little after. I had always been fairly quiet but then almost clammed up altogether. Because it was new to me, I knew it was physiological, and learnt to cope with it till it went away,breathing slowly before speaking, planning what I wanted to say,not replying when agitated etc.

    Even thought I now realize mine was quite minor it affected me a lot and its in remembering this ,any time I am engaged with a stutterer ,I feel under pressure to make sure they don't feel under pressure. It has also led me to take notice of comments made about stuttering and I wish I had known at the time how little it bothers others. For the few that are cruel it just acts as a marker, so one knows you are dealing with a truly thick person who would be cruel in most situations.


  • #60
    Esel
    Registered Users Posts: 22,001 ✭✭✭✭Esel


    Pulsating Star wrote: »
    Because it was new to me, I knew it was physiological,....
    Don't you mean psychological?

    Not your ornery onager



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  • #61
    Pulsating Star
    Registered Users Posts: 702 ✭✭✭Pulsating Star


    esel wrote: »
    Don't you mean psychological?

    closewindow.png


    'Physiological psychology

    From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

    Jump to: navigation, search
    50px-Merge-arrows.svg.png
    It has been suggested that this article or section be merged with Psychophysiology . (Discuss)'

    See, see, its all the same ;)


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