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a woman in a pub

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Comments

  • #32
    razorgil
    Registered Users Posts: 1,880 ✭✭✭razorgil


    Tugboats wrote: »
    Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.

    wasn't sally o'brien by any chance?


  • #33
    Red Kev
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,795 ✭✭✭Red Kev


    Banjo String wrote: »
    A roman soldier walked into a bar, stuck 2 fingers up at the barman and said "ten pints please"

    5 pints.

    Two fingers....looks like a "V" , so it's 5 pints. ;)


  • #34
    Aphex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 653 ✭✭✭Aphex


    My deaf girlfriend was talking in her sleep last night.

    She nearly took my fcuking eye out!



    I went to the pub the next day


  • #35
    Sir Osis of Liver.
    Registered Users Posts: 2,793 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    Two brains walk into a bar and the barman says 'Get out lads,ye're out of ye're heads'


  • #36
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭Banjo String


    Red Kev wrote: »
    5 pints.

    Two fingers....looks like a "V" , so it's 5 pints. ;)

    Oops.

    Thanks lol.


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  • #37
    RikkFlair
    Registered Users Posts: 3,088 ✭✭✭RikkFlair


    razorgil wrote: »
    wasn't sally o'brien by any chance?

    and the way she might look at you


  • #38
    LETHAL LADY
    Registered Users Posts: 3,145 ✭✭✭LETHAL LADY


    A dwarf walks under a bar........


  • #39
    Aphex
    Closed Accounts Posts: 653 ✭✭✭Aphex


    What do you do if a Rottweiler is rogering your leg?

    Fake an orgasm.


  • #40
    biko
    Registered Users Posts: 81,223 ✭✭✭✭biko


    Tugboats wrote: »
    Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.
    Was your fly open?


  • #41
    mitosis
    Registered Users Posts: 2,000 ✭✭✭mitosis


    Sally O'Brien?


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  • #42
    Gran Hermano
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,330 ✭✭✭Gran Hermano


    Tugboats wrote: »
    Smiled at me twice today and I did nothing about it.

    Congrats on the new relationship and enjoy the honeymoon period.
    When you both feel mature and comfortable with each other you should consider moving to the next stage. Might i suggest for that you try grunting in her general direction.


  • #43
    shrewdness
    Registered Users Posts: 2,709 ✭✭✭shrewdness


    A dyslexic man walked into a bra..


  • #44
    The Th!ng
    Registered Users Posts: 464 ✭✭The Th!ng


    She had a hot Black Bush


  • #45
    Sir Osis of Liver.
    Registered Users Posts: 2,793 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    A set of jump-leads walks into a pub and the barman says 'You better not start anything in here'


  • #46
    dd972
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,563 ✭✭✭dd972


    Stop feeling sorry for the OP, it was Larry Murphy !


  • #47
    Banjo String
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,380 ✭✭✭✭Banjo String


    A Chinese man walked into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.


    The barman said, holy shıt, where'd you get that?


    The parrot squaked, then said "China, there's fűcking billions of them, now gimme a pint"!!


  • #48
    Sir Osis of Liver.
    Registered Users Posts: 2,793 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    Marty Whelan walked into a doctors surgery with frog on his head and the frog says 'Doctor,i've a boil on me arse'.


  • #49
    HalloweenJack
    Registered Users Posts: 7,039 ✭✭✭HalloweenJack


    Don't worry OP, just **** about the sex you could've been having right now.


  • #50
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,646 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    An electron and a positron go ino a bar.
    Positron: "It's your round."
    Electron: "Are you sure?"
    Positron: "I'm positive."



    Descartes walks into a bar. “Beer?” asks the barman. “I think not” replies Rene, who disappears.





    A biochemist walks into a student bar and says to the barman: “I’d like a pint of adenosine triphosphate, please.” “Certainly,” says the barman, “that’ll be ATP.”



    sin(x) and cos(x) walk into a bar and ask for drinks. The barman declines: "We don't cater for functions."



    Four fonts walk into a bar The barman says "Hey you, get outta here! We don't want your type in here."


  • #51
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭[Deleted User]


    razorgil wrote: »
    wasn't sally o'brien by any chance?

    Sure at least he had the pint of harp if he wanted it.....There was harp on tap was there not op?


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  • #52
    Ihatecuddles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Ihatecuddles


    I was in the pub tonight. A man looked at my boobs and said 'well hellooooo there ladies'

    I think we had a moment.


  • #53
    Sir Osis of Liver.
    Registered Users Posts: 2,793 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    mauzo! wrote: »
    I was in the pub tonight. A man looked at my boobs and said 'well hellooooo there ladies'

    I think we had a moment.

    Were you topless in the pub?


  • #54
    Stavros Murphy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,442 ✭✭✭Stavros Murphy


    A lump of black tarmac is having a pint when in walks a lump of red tarmac. The black tarmac downs its pint and asks the barman if there's a back door it can leg it out of? The barman asks what the problem is and the black tarmac says it has to go, there's gonna be trouble - that lads a cycle-path.


  • #55
    Sir Osis of Liver.
    Registered Users Posts: 2,793 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    ....a baby seal walked into a club.


  • #56
    Sir Osis of Liver.
    Registered Users Posts: 2,793 ✭✭✭Sir Osis of Liver.


    A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head.
    Bartender says "What's up with the paper towel?" The pirate says, "Arrrrr...there's a bounty on me head!"


  • #57
    Czarcasm
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,076 ✭✭✭✭Czarcasm


    Red Kev wrote: »
    5 pints.

    Two fingers....looks like a "V" , so it's 5 pints. ;)

    Banjo String wrote: »
    Oops.

    Thanks lol.


    How many fingers am I holding up?

    *wiggles fingers* :D


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