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LETS ALL LAUGH AT PEOPLE WITH DEPRESSION!!

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Comments

  • #1892
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    DeVore wrote: »
    Thank you :)

    As tempting as "pity"/victimhood is... its lethal to me, I can't have a pity-party (what if nobody came?? omg... morto! :) )
    No really, pity leads to me thinking its ok to wallow, just for a bit and then pretty soon after that its all "wooooeee is me!!!" and 2 days in bed with a giant tub of Ben and Jerrys.



    Actually, B&Js is awesome, must get some.

    You should taste that one you get one with caramel in it. Caramel sutra I think. Tis divine.


  • #1893
    girlonfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 337 ✭✭girlonfire


    It's heavenly!


  • #1894
    jammstarr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    Being the victim can be addictive, it's easy to blame or excuse everything on it


  • #1895
    girlonfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 337 ✭✭girlonfire


    So very true.


  • #1896
    Sarky
    Closed Accounts Posts: 31,967 ✭✭✭✭Sarky


    It really is very pleasing to see this thread still going strong.


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  • #1897
    prinz
    Registered Users Posts: 14,598 ✭✭✭✭prinz


    Up to recently I hadn't paid a whole lot of attention to this thread I thought it was a good resource etc but I passed it over time and again, kept meaning to take a proper look.

    However I have been out of sorts on/off for about three years now, which came to a head recently when someone close to me brought it up and pretty much told me flat out that I had to do something.

    So I read a lot of posts on this thread and have recognised all of the issues I have been dealing with here in various posts which has shocked me to some extent to be honest. I had different issues and never really linked them up, everything was explained away as this or that. There was never a pattern that jumped out but when I reflected it ticks an awful lot of boxes that people have mentioned on the thread.

    Depression is not something I have ever considered suffering from but it's starting to sink in that perhaps it is something that has affected me on and off for quite a while and that I need to look into it asap. Even tracking back over my life I could identify another period when I believe I was hit by depression in my late teens (now I think it was triggered by September 11th as it happens odd as that sounds) but that seemed to pass and nothing was ever said/I thought no more about it.

    So thanks all posting here, between my OH and everybody here I may soon be dealing with myself properly and checking it out just in case.


  • #1898
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    Hi all morning report,

    I had my meeting with my gp yesturday, he decided to come to our house which I thought was very kind of him as it was out of hours and he sat quietly with me in the living room with me and my mum we had a half an hour chat.

    Wasn't an easy conversation, but I was feeling better at that stage anyway, he asked a few things about what triggered it and I pretty much said "my whole life".

    In all honesty I've been feeling this low self esteem for a while (5-10 years since I was a teenager) and its been building up to the point where I feel I have no future.

    Because I've been a social recluse through those years I thought the world hated me and I was never going to get a girlfriend, never going to have a family, never going to have friends and when analyze yourself as this 25 near 26 year old with this prospect you can't help but feel "the end might be near for me as I can't hack this no longer".

    That poll yesturday depressed me with 60%+ of women saying no under any circumstances a virgin guy over 30 and I was thinking "oh no" adding to my woes. It encouraged suicidal thoughts about wanting to stop going through the pain of being a reject in society forever.

    I want to be happy, I don't want to be this freak forever to be honest. But I can't help it, every time I go outside I think the whole of humanity is judging me negatively thinking "loser". Even walking past people in town and seeing everyone else happy it just depresses me because I have no friends. Its hurtful.

    My gp said I needed to step up my citalopram from 20mg to 40mg and will speed up the process to see psychologist in derry.

    He also recommended me a book called "mind over mood" which is a cognetive therapy book trying to change the way I think about the world and how I analyse myself in negative siutations. I'll try everything they throw at me.

    I have a low self esteem and you can understand in my life circumstances, its just depressing to live with and sense of hopelessness is quite high, but hopefully I can fight this and will give it my all.


  • #1899
    Feeona
    Registered Users Posts: 1,633 ✭✭✭Feeona


    Gnobe wrote: »
    That poll yesturday depressed me with 60%+ of women saying no under any circumstances a virgin guy over 30 and I was thinking "oh no" adding to my woes. It encouraged suicidal thoughts about wanting to stop going through the pain of being a reject in society forever.


    It's a hard thing to do when you're feeling down, but ignore those polls! That poll you saw only focused on one area, any woman in her right mind would NOT reject a man because he is a virgin. A woman in her right mind however would reject a man for being cruel, selfish, nasty etc.
    I get the impression from your post that you look at other people and think they have so much going for them. Why not look at yourself for a change and see what you have going for you? It's hard to do when you're feeling negative about yourself, but being kind to yourself is one of the best things you can do when you're feeling down.

    Best of luck.


  • #1900
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    Feeona - I want to feel positive about myself but when I have no friends, never had a girlfriend it and there's people my age who have got kids now, and have good social lives, it is quite depressing.

    There are some positives and I want to make more of them. I'm planning to learn a language over the summer (take my mind off internet forums), join a gym at some point, do my driving lessons (when I'm off ad) learn to cook properly. So some things to look forward to.

    But I seem to regard success on how my social life is.

    It doesn't matter that I can get a first class honours in Engineering.

    It doesn't matter if I can speak 6 languages.

    It doesn't matter if I have been in over 50 countries.

    I'm always going to be hampered by my social life and thinking "this is not normal". "No girlfriend ever?!"

    I don't think thats the right way of thinking, but it seems to be the case for me.

    Just a mention, I was on www.suicideforum.com there to see what some like minded people were thinking but the place makes the worlds worst mental hospital look sane.

    I'm not sure its the sort of place I want to go on regularly to be honest. Obviously I like reading people who also suffer from similar circumstances to me but its very chaotic on there. Almost dangerous.


  • #1901
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Gnobe wrote: »
    Feeona - I want to feel positive about myself but when I have no friends, never had a girlfriend it and there's people my age who have got kids now, and have good social lives, it is quite depressing.

    There are some positives and I want to make more of them. I'm planning to learn a language over the summer (take my mind off internet forums), join a gym at some point, do my driving lessons (when I'm off ad) learn to cook properly. So some things to look forward to.

    Just a mention, I was on www.suicideforum.com there to see what some like minded people were thinking but the place makes the worlds worst mental hospital look sane.

    I'm not sure its the sort of place I want to go on regularly to be honest. Obviously I like reading people who also suffer from similar circumstances to me but its very chaotic on there. Almost dangerous.

    I'm learning myself lately that internet forums really aren't good for your self esteem, I'd suggest spending less and less time on them if possible. If you still want somewhere to vent and read about others stories, I'd suggest reading our own dedicated depression thread over in Long Term Illnesses. It's definitely not chaotic. Though it does tend to be mostly the bad days you hear about there. Though I do recommend not spending too much time reading about others thoughts and feelings on it.

    I realised a short while ago that my intrusive thoughts are increasing in frequency, and the only thing I can put it down to is having read quite a bit on how other people find depression. I think it has the potential to make you dwell on it, maybe if you otherwise wouldn't.

    I also want to mention meetup.com. you can look up your local area, for groups, for all sorts of people, and activities. have a look, they've so much on, and you can start your own one if there's nothing that takes your fancy.


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  • #1902
    Turtwig
    Registered Users Posts: 26,578 ✭✭✭✭Turtwig


    Gnobe wrote: »
    Hi,

    I just had another thread on PI closed, I didn't mean to repost the thread, I'm just very lonely and want to talk and becoming very desperate.

    I don't know if I will be here by the end of year, possibly not, but I will try.

    I'm not sure professional help will work, I know rightly the world hates me, the whole process feels incredibley robotic, I deserve it I have poor genes anyway. Science and natural selection is saying so.

    Haven't had much free time on my hands lately so only catching up on this thread now.

    Here's one of my favourite popular science quotes that conveys how truly, unique, rare and how much of a miracle you actually are.
    Bill Bryson, A Brief History of Nearly Everything. wrote:
    To get from "protoplasmal primordial atomic globule" (as the Gilbert and Sullivan song put it) to sentient upright modern human has required you to mutate new traits over and over in a precisely timely manner for an exceedingly long while. So at various periods over the last 3.8 billion years you have abhorred oxygen and then doted on it, grown fins and limbs and jaunty sails, laid eggs, flicked the air with a forked tongue, been sleek, been furry, lived underground, lived in trees, been as big as a deer and as small as a mouse, and a million things more. The tiniest deviation from any of these evolutionary shifts, and you might now be licking algae from cave walls or lolling walrus-like on some stony shore or disgorging air through a blowhole in the top of your head before diving sixty feet for a mouthful of delicious sandworms.
    Not only have you been lucky enough to be attached since time immemorial to a favored evolutionary line, but you have also been extremely- make that miraculously -fortunate in your personal ancestry. Consider the fact that for 3.8 billion years, a period of time older than the Earth's mountains and rivers and oceans, every one of your forebears on both sides has been attractive enough to find a mate, healthy enough to reproduce, and sufficiently blessed by fate and circumstances to live long enough to do so. Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stranded, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment in order to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result-eventually, astoundingly, and all too briefly - in you.


  • #1903
    Drumpot
    Registered Users Posts: 19,306 ✭✭✭✭Drumpot


    Had a mixed week . .

    I started to keep a "mood diary" cause Im usually good at keeping spreadsheets updated . .

    I try to (but sometimes miss and have to sort of wing it!) rate how I feel about the following each day -

    I rate my day on a 1-5 - Morning, Afternoon , Night, add it up, divide it by three and look at my average day. . .

    Then I breakdown into smaller things (everybody will have their own things) - Work, energy, anxiety, stress, concentration, gym, sleep . .

    And then I have notes which is a brief summary of how my day went . .

    Im hoping to find a trigger or consistant thing that pops up when I feel down . .I mightnt, but its nice to see that I actually do have some good days. its easy to forget that sometimes I dont feel awful, particularly when Im in the middle of a sh*tty day . .

    For me, its a constant process of working on myself . . Some might say struggle and sometimes it feels like that, but generally I feel like I am doing positive things for positive reasons.


  • #1904
    shuridunno
    Closed Accounts Posts: 111 ✭✭shuridunno


    girlonfire wrote: »
    I think it's lethal for anyone dealing with depression and funnily enough, I slipped right in there watching the programme tonight - nothing to do with the programme, but with my own thoughts. Again, goes to show the impact of this thread and of support from great people like yourself DeVore. I feel empowered again.

    I think the most decent thing I can do is have a toast for you and every other supportive poster here over a tub of Ben & Jerry's;)


    I tuned out half way through that programme, not sure it did any good for highlighting the issue. I wish they did something on people who hold down jobs and families while dealing with the constant battle in the head.

    It is defeinately advisable to steer clear of certain programmes and litrature that may cause you a dip, but you have to find out what that is yourself. My friend loves those true story books, the worse the better, they all look the same and are called things like..you through me down the stairs and laughed or Ma, he sold me for a pack of fags...you know the ones.

    Personally, I don't even watch the news anymore, or read newspapers. I know enough to get by.

    Anyway, I just to seem to scare people, even though that's not my intention anytime I try to speak about the subject.

    Are people too afraid to say what they're really thinking, too afraid they will be judged, get called weird and mental like I do. Am I actually worse than I think, I'm not agressive and mean the above in a purely inquizative manner, not in a provocative way.

    I'II just be careful and try not to get kicked off, but I think sometimes people forget, a lot of communacation is lost onscreen and the words that are written can be taken out of context as they are not being spoken to your face....jeez, am I making any sense:confused:

    I'II go now.


  • #1905
    InReality
    Registered Users Posts: 1,374 ✭✭✭InReality


    shuridunno wrote: »
    I wish they did something on people who hold down jobs and families while dealing with the constant battle in the head.
    .

    Agree , It would be really really helpful.


  • #1906
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    Just want to say thanks to all the posters that offered help and support. Especially Millicent, DeVore, Jammstar, Karsini, and sorry if there's more names, I have a bad memory. Hope you all can be happy some day.

    stupi x


  • #1907
    RoboRat
    Registered Users Posts: 2,454 ✭✭✭RoboRat


    Just seen this thread and I will definitely read it all. As someone who also suffers from depression I have to add that its very misunderstood in this country. I was a culprit until I actually realised that I was suffering from depression. Now I have no issues with telling people, I think it is time that the stigma is removed. If someone thinks differently of me because they know of this then its their problem, not mine. Its actually funny when I have told people as their response is usually of shock and 'but you're such a messer' or 'You would have been the last person I thought suffered'... just goes to show though.
    Depression is not sadness.

    Praise the lord, I was never sad, I just was extremely angry at times and then just vacant the rest of the time. I didn't think it was depression as I always thought that depression was being sad and hence I left it go for so long.
    People with mental health issues are intellectually sub-optimal

    As Devore said, just wrong. I would be consider myself intelligent - I have a good job which requires me to be very much on the ball, in fact my problem lies in the fact that I tend to over analyse and over think.

    I am a well rounded bloke, I have a wife and child, lots of close friends, i play sports, I am intellectual and creative. I am a normal bloke. The only problem I have is a lack of serotonin which led to depression. I have moved to rectify that and it has done a lot for my life.

    I would urge anyone who feels that they may suffer to get professional help. I had an uncle who didn't due to the stigma attached and he paid for it with his life. People need to understand that depression like any other illness has consequences if left untreated.

    I hope that people read this thread and try to understand and alleviate the stigma attached to depression.


  • #1908
    DeVore
    Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    I've been having a serious argument with voice that tells me I'm a nasty person who no one would like if they really knew me and for once I appear to have shut the stupid cnut up.


  • #1909
    FairytaleGirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 663 ✭✭✭FairytaleGirl


    The best thing my counsellor tells me when Im having 'The way I see the world isnt right/No one else has the train of thought I do/Whats wrong with my mind' moments is that I have NO idea what or how other people think.

    Because so many people keep it to themselves because of the stigma/fear attached to having a Mental Illness.


  • #1910
    Mars Bar
    Registered Users Posts: 31,815 ✭✭✭✭Mars Bar


    My Mam works in a pub and last night she heard two men talk openly about their battles with depression. She has suffered it herself and she said it was great to see men open up the way they did.


  • #1911
    DeVore
    Business & Finance Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 32,387 Mod ✭✭✭✭DeVore


    Mars Bar wrote: »
    My Mam works in a pub and last night she heard two men talk openly about their battles with depression. She has suffered it herself and she said it was great to see men open up the way they did.

    Maybe show her this thread? It's great to know finally, for absolute certain that I'm not all that strange, and in fact am probably so close to "normal" as makes no difference :)

    Tonight has been a Dev-Patented-Weird night for me but also an excellent night, so I'm happy and I'm going to sleep now. Nn.


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  • #1912
    SharpshooterTom
    Registered Users Posts: 3,017 ✭✭✭SharpshooterTom


    I'm still hurting a lot, feeling a bit better over the past few days however.

    I'm on first upped dosage of 40mg citalopram today, not sure what its going to do if anything tbh.

    I just want to thank everyone who pm'ed over the past week after checking on me and helping out at a time of crisis (you know who you guys are!). I can't thank you enough after obviously an awful week. I know its only an internet forum but there's some really good people on here and its really nice theres some people I can speak to from time to time.

    I realise I can't overuse the internet, infact my gp recommended against it and encouraged me to take up a hobby (e.g. learning a new language) but still its very flattering and kind of some people to take up their time and speak to me.

    Erm so thanks anyway, I don't know if I ever will get through this :(, but I'm greatful there's some decent threads on here to speak up to occassionally. Thanks.


  • #1913
    Mucky.Bucky
    Registered Users Posts: 83 ✭✭Mucky.Bucky


    DeVore wrote: »
    I've been having a serious argument with voice that tells me I'm a nasty person who no one would like if they really knew me and for once I appear to have shut the stupid cnut up.

    That cnut keeps attacking me too. Tell me how you switched the fcuk off.


  • #1914
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Well there's always a way and a how to switch the voices off.


  • #1915
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Mucky.Bucky wrote: »
    That cnut keeps attacking me too. Tell me how you switched the fcuk off.

    I medicated the hell out of that bitch; I know medication doesn't work for everyone but the weird stuff that voice used to tell me, man it was messed up, I didn't realise HOW messed up until the medication started to change her tune for me. Still rears her ugly head the odd time but I'm more able to know she's only around because I'm tired/stressed and a bit of distraction or a good night's sleep and she'll feck off again. Have been starting to use tactics to reason with the crap in my head too... it's not always my fault and I don't always deserve it.


  • #1916
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Mucky.Bucky wrote: »
    That cnut keeps attacking me too. Tell me how you switched the fcuk off.

    I haven't ever switched it off but if I'm in a decent enough mood I can literally tell it to stop. Sometimes I even have to say it out loud (but I'd only do that if alone). :o


  • #1917
    Eathrin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,076 ✭✭✭Eathrin


    Depression has been such an absolute weight on my shoulders for the past few years!
    I thought the anti-depressants would help but I still feel down so often.
    I'm doing my Leaving Cert at the moment, it's not easy when you have this handicap let me tell you. I'm actually quite naturally intelligent, to squander everything I am now that I'm doing exams especially tough. I'm not going to get the grades which best represent me because of this. I am very ashamed of myself right now.
    But my question is, is my seeming laziness, lack of motivation and inability to work outside of school a flaw of my own, or is it something directly linked to my depression?
    It's killing me inside that I am wasting away my potential.


  • #1918
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Eathrin wrote: »
    Depression has been such an absolute weight on my shoulders for the past few years!
    I thought the anti-depressants would help but I still feel down so often.
    I'm doing my Leaving Cert at the moment, it's not easy when you have this handicap let me tell you. I'm actually quite naturally intelligent, to squander everything I am now that I'm doing exams especially tough. I'm not going to get the grades which best represent me because of this. I am very ashamed of myself right now.
    But my question is, is my seeming laziness, lack of motivation and inability to work outside of school a flaw of my own, or is it something directly linked to my depression?
    It's killing me inside that I am wasting away my potential.

    That's exactly what happened to me. When I did my Leaving I was at the "I don't care anymore" stage so didn't put much effort into it. I did okay on paper but the points score was quite low.


  • #1919
    Varied
    Closed Accounts Posts: 725 ✭✭✭Varied


    Eathrin wrote: »
    Depression has been such an absolute weight on my shoulders for the past few years!
    I thought the anti-depressants would help but I still feel down so often.
    I'm doing my Leaving Cert at the moment, it's not easy when you have this handicap let me tell you. I'm actually quite naturally intelligent, to squander everything I am now that I'm doing exams especially tough. I'm not going to get the grades which best represent me because of this. I am very ashamed of myself right now.
    But my question is, is my seeming laziness, lack of motivation and inability to work outside of school a flaw of my own, or is it something directly linked to my depression?
    It's killing me inside that I am wasting away my potential.

    Try counselling dude, its great for letting go of things. You should also talk to your GP and he/she might recommend something different.

    Good luck


  • #1920
    Eathrin
    Registered Users Posts: 8,076 ✭✭✭Eathrin


    Karsini wrote: »
    That's exactly what happened to me. When I did my Leaving I was at the "I don't care anymore" stage so didn't put much effort into it. I did okay on paper but the points score was quite low.

    It's pretty awful. I'd just like to get it done with now and begin afresh.


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  • #1921
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    I've been repeating the leaving this year, I know I've cocked it up again/.


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