Getting the shift

emma9 · 22-01-2015 3:49am #1

I've been chatting to a boy over the last two weeks and he asked me to shift him before school some morning, and I agreed. I'm 17 and I've never shifted anyone before (because I haven't been to teen discos and I wouldn't do it before or after school because everyone would know and I'm quite shy).

He said we'd keep it between ourselves but I'm wondering whether I should tell my bestfriend, she would be annoyed if I didn't and he'll probably tell his friends anyway.

The thing is I'm really nervous and I don't know how to act. Won't it be really awkward before, during and after it? I'm afraid I'll mess it up as well. I know this is a stupid (and embarrassing) post but any advice or experience?

Please don't give smart answers, thanks.

thelad95 · 22-01-2015 4:39pm

emma9 wrote: »

I've been chatting to a boy over the last two weeks and he asked me to shift him before school some morning, and I agreed. I'm 17 and I've never shifted anyone before (because I haven't been to teen discos and I wouldn't do it before or after school because everyone would know and I'm quite shy).

He said we'd keep it between ourselves but I'm wondering whether I should tell my bestfriend, she would be annoyed if I didn't and he'll probably tell his friends anyway.

The thing is I'm really nervous and I don't know how to act. Won't it be really awkward before, during and after it? I'm afraid I'll mess it up as well. I know this is a stupid (and embarrassing) post but any advice or experience?

Please don't give smart answers, thanks.

Have you met this guy in person before? Do you think you like him or would get along with him? Is he the same age as you or younger/older? Sorry for all the questions!

I'm not sure why you're best friend would get annoyed, does she like this guy as well? Maybe she might be able to offer advice as well?

Don't worry about being nervous but if this is a situation you genuinely don't feel comfortable with, then don't engage in it.

I'm gonna be honest, if he's 17ish as well, the whole 'wil u shift me bhind bins b4 skul on Munday?' thing is a bit outdated for ye're age. If he genuinely liked you as well, he should try and treat you properly and maybe even ask you out on a date. I don't know the finer details of the situation so I'm sorry if it seems like I'm judging him but I've had to question his intentions here if he just wants to shift you.

emma9 · 22-01-2015 4:58pm

No I've never met him in person we've just been talking on snapchat. To be honest I don't know if I actually like him. He seems nice and funny but a little immature. We're the same age.

My bestfriend would only get annoyed because she thinks I don't tell her anything. I never told her when I first started talking to him and she was a bit disappointed I hadn't mentioned it, and no she doesn't like him. She couldn't offer much advice because she hasn't shifted anyone yet either and she would probably encourage me to wait until I actually really do like someone.

I think he asked me the way he did because he just wants the shift and that's it. I kind of want to get the first shift out of the way because most people my age already have. But maybe that's a stupid reason to shift him?

thelad95 · 22-01-2015 5:10pm

emma9 wrote: »

No I've never met him in person we've just been talking on snapchat. To be honest I don't know if I actually like him. He seems nice and funny but a little immature. We're the same age.

My bestfriend would only get annoyed because she thinks I don't tell her anything. I never told her when I first started talking to him and she was a bit disappointed I hadn't mentioned it, and no she doesn't like him. She couldn't offer much advice because she hasn't shifted anyone yet either and she would probably encourage me to wait until I actually really do like someone.

I think he asked me the way he did because he just wants the shift and that's it. I kind of want to get the first shift out of the way because most people my age already have. But maybe that's a stupid reason to shift him?

I think he does sound a bit immature. As I said, the whole shifting before school is generally seen amongst 13 or 14 year olds, not 17 year olds. You're friend sounds a bit clingy but I suppose that's another issue for another day. What I will say is you're both nearly fully-grown adults and it's your business who you decide to enter into a relationship with but maybe she feels that by not telling her, that you don't trust her?

Is the fact that you haven't shifted someone before something that really bothers you? You say it's because 'most people my age already have' but ask yourself is it something you really want to do or just to fit in with everyone else? When people enter their teens, they see a lot of milestones as 'races'. Getting the shift, losing virginity, starting drinking, starting to go out, getting a driving licence. A few years later, you realise the only person you were racing was yourself.

Did you ever envisage your fist kiss as being special or something you just want to get over and done with? It would be a lot more pleasurable (and less nerve-wracking) if it were with somebody you liked in a comfortable setting instead of rushing it with somebody you hardly know before school starts.

suitcasepink · 22-01-2015 5:12pm

Are you in 6th year? Just wondering coz if you are and people do talk about it well you're not gonna be surrounded by these losers for long what with people going off to college
It is a bit immature at situation for 17yr olds but tbh it really is just a shift like do if you feel like it, maybe I'm a whore but tbh shift whoever you'll have a memory from it either good or "lol awkz but you'll do much worse things in life don't worry
I dunno are you meant to enjoy your first shift anyway tbh
I feel like the exchange itself before yee shift lol might be awkward tho when you're like "Hi.. So shift now?"

emma9 · 22-01-2015 5:39pm

No I'm in 5th year. The fact that everyone else seems to have shifted before isn't really what bothers me, it's that if you're talking to a boy and they ask if you have shifted before they are always fair surprised to hear that you haven't and if they are slightly older maybe 18 or so it might remind them that you are younger than them. I thought maybe when they hear you haven't they think "oh no I'll leave her first shift be someone special because she's waited so long". And if I do talk to a lad I actually like it would be easier to say I have gotten the shift and surely it'd make shifting him easier too?

I would like my first kiss to be special but I'm wondering if anybody's first is? It always seems to have been at a teen disco or before/after school in a very organised way- "will you shift me/my friend?" And never in a natural way in a comfortable situation.

thelad95 · 22-01-2015 5:53pm

emma9 wrote: »

No I'm in 5th year. The fact that everyone else seems to have shifted before isn't really what bothers me, it's that if you're talking to a boy and they ask if you have shifted before they are always fair surprised to hear that you haven't

I'm gonna be honest again, most 17 year old boys don't usually ask a question like that. If this guy on Snapchat has asked you that, it's just another sign of his immaturity.

emma9 wrote: »

and if they are slightly older maybe 18 or so it might remind them that you are younger than them.

If your talking to older lads in clubs, this may not actually be a bad thing as they may see you as a potential sexual partner if you lie about your age and/or your past experience with boys and this is something you may not want.

emma9 wrote: »

And if I do talk to a lad I actually like it would be easier to say I have gotten the shift and surely it'd make shifting him easier too?

It would probably would but little white lies are no harm either. You could just pretend like you have shifted someone before and he probably won't even notice the difference. Just because you've shifted someone before doesn't make you a good kisser

emma9 wrote: »

I would like my first kiss to be special but I'm wondering if anybody's first is? It always seems to have been at a teen disco or before/after school in a very organised way- "will you shift me/my friend?" And never in a natural way in a comfortable situation.

For some people it's special, for others it isn't. Mine was with a girl I cared about and she cared about me and I look back on it fondly but nowadays a lot of people do just seem to do it in discos or whatever.

Whatever you do choose to do, just make sure you're comfortable with it and that you're not just doing it to fit in with some social norm.

suitcasepink · 22-01-2015 6:23pm

Mods tbh when this thread has served its purpose can we use it to all talk about our first shifts???

Mine was on a bouncy slide with my best friends(at the time) cousin
Lol romantic

Insect Overlord · 22-01-2015 6:28pm

I got my first shift at a disco when I was 13. She looked good in the dark. Seeing her in proper light was a bit of a nasty shock...

It's an underwhelming experience really. A first kiss with someone important to you is far more exciting, and by then at least you'll know what you're doing.

I'd disagree with thelad95 when he says this guy sounds immature. At least the guy has the guts to ask you himself instead of getting a friend to ask for him!

LoonyLovegood · 22-01-2015 6:31pm

Yes Deise, because mine is hilarious.

But OP, be careful. Sounds stupid but a first shift can be a big deal, especially if you put any sort of emotional significance into it. There's no point in shifting someone for the sake of it. I'm in college now, and stuff like that isn't a big deal. Nobody cares if you're a virgin, if you've shifted people, if you've never shifted anyone. They don't care if you've made out with a hotdog, to be honest.

Secondary school is filled with immature people doing immature things.

thelad95 · 22-01-2015 6:32pm

An File wrote: »

I got my first shift at a disco when I was 13. She looked good in the dark. Seeing her in proper light was a bit of a nasty shock...

It's an underwhelming experience really. A first kiss with someone important to you is far more exciting, and by then at least you'll know what you're doing.

I'd disagree with thelad95 when he says this guy sounds immature. At least the guy has the guts to ask you himself instead of getting a friend to ask for him!

Ah here, they'll be in college soon. Surely he's past the stage of asking a girl to 'shift him b4 skul lolz xoxo'. You're right about asking himself though. I'm in college and there's still people who say things like 'will you ask that girls friends if she'll shift me'. Grow a pair FFS!

thelad95 · 22-01-2015 6:33pm

deise_girl wrote: »

Mods tbh when this thread has served its purpose can we use it to all talk about our first shifts???

Mine was on a bouncy slide with my best friends(at the time) cousin
Lol romantic

I misread that for a second and thought it was with your cousin! :eek:

suitcasepink · 22-01-2015 6:40pm

thelad95 wrote: »

I misread that for a second and thought it was with your cousin! :eek:

Hahahahaha,, ahh Im a bit better than that!

But yea I feel like arranging "da shift" like that dies out by TY years
I dont remember any of that carry on in 5th and 6th year, though maybe Im out of the loop of things these days

Tbh maybe its nice to wait for someone special to have a first shift with, but I always looked at a kiss as v different in meaning to having sex with someone

Cherry Blossom Girl · 22-01-2015 6:43pm

I had a woman in her mid-20s ask me recently if I'd shift her friend. Granted it was at like 1am and they were both hammered but still. I didn't even get a look at her friend but said no out of principle anyway. If you can't ask yourself by that age there's no hope for you.

As for my first shift, I was a bit late to the game. I was never really into the whole shifting randomers thing during my youth. Add to that a combination of going to an all girls school, being shy as fcuk around guys until I was about 17 and having a bit of a (self-perceived) ugly duckling syndrome going on, I was 18. It was on a night out, he was a friend of a friend and had his lip pierced, which made it very distinctive. Turns out he was a bit of a d1ck, but he was a great kisser so no regrets

. Funnily enough, kissing is probably my favourite thing in the world to do now.

OP, I know right now getting the shift seems like a massive deal, but it's really not. There's plenty of people older than you who still haven't done it. Maybe you should wait until you find a guy you actually like rather than just rushing into it.

Insect Overlord · 22-01-2015 6:44pm

deise_girl wrote: »

But yea I feel like arranging "da shift" like that dies out by TY years
I dont remember any of that carry on in 5th and 6th year, though maybe Im out of the loop of things these days

I remember a lot of it happening in Irish college, even among students finishing 5th Year/staring 6th Year. Depends on the environment and the level of opportunity, I supose.

Good times...

*reminisces wistfully*

LoonyLovegood · 22-01-2015 6:50pm

Yeah, in summer camps and stuff there was a lot of it, but in school it had died out.

thelad95 · 22-01-2015 6:54pm

I was 15 and it was behind McDonalds of a Saturday afternoon. We went out after that for a month and remained friends for a while and we've long since gone our seperate ways. I liked her and she liked me and it was kind of special. Nothing beats that young butterflies in the stomach feeling

LostBoy101 · 22-01-2015 7:28pm

Good thing you didn't post this in After Hours..

thelad95 · 22-01-2015 7:29pm

LostBoy101 wrote: »

Good thing you didn't post this in After Hours..

She did...

LostBoy101 · 22-01-2015 7:30pm

thelad95 wrote: »

She did...

Haha had a quick look there! *gets popcorn out*

Insect Overlord · 22-01-2015 7:30pm

LostBoy101 wrote: »

Good thing you didn't post this in After Hours..

The amount of eejits there who didn't understand the term "shift" is astounding.

thelad95 · 22-01-2015 7:31pm

LostBoy101 wrote: »

Haha had a quick look there! *gets popcorn out*

Bar one or two smart-arse comments, it's actually surprisingly tame

emma9 · 22-01-2015 11:06pm

LostBoy101 wrote: »

Good thing you didn't post this in After Hours..

Why what's wrong with after hours?

LostBoy101 · 22-01-2015 11:09pm

emma9 wrote: »

Why what's wrong with after hours?

Heh if you stick around on AHs you would learn very quickly :P

Slow Show · 23-01-2015 3:13am

The first ever shift with someone is meh as f*ck generally I'd say. Mine was absolutely hilarious. First kiss with someone you care about is the loveliest thing in the world xxxxx

SterlingArcher · 23-01-2015 3:31am

Slow Show wrote: »

The first ever shift with someone is meh as f*ck generally I'd say. Mine was absolutely hilarious. First kiss with someone you care about is the loveliest thing in the world xxxxx

That's personal experience. Mine was awesome. She thought I was a liar trying to trick her saying I was a virgin.

Glad I didn't have my first time behind a bike shed or some way too much planned out night. After a night with each other Kissing just led from one thing to another and all the things I had fantasised about in my head played out.

Asking a girl for the "shift". Real smooth. But hey good luck with that.

Ps if he can't kiss you and make your knees weak, hold off.

Insect Overlord · 23-01-2015 3:39am

SterlingArcher wrote: »

Asking a girl for the "shift". Real smooth. But hey good luck with that.

Ps if he can't kiss you and make your knees weak, hold off.

Oh, FFS. :rolleyes:

At least try to understand that "gettings the shift" actually means kissing someone (and nothing more) before offering advice about it!

SterlingArcher · 23-01-2015 3:42am

emma9 wrote: »

I've been chatting to a boy over the last two weeks and he asked me to shift him before school some morning, and I agreed. I'm 17 and I've never shifted anyone before (because I haven't been to teen discos and I wouldn't do it before or after school because everyone would know and I'm quite shy).

He said we'd keep it between ourselves but I'm wondering whether I should tell my bestfriend, she would be annoyed if I didn't and he'll probably tell his friends anyway.

The thing is I'm really nervous and I don't know how to act. Won't it be really awkward before, during and after it? I'm afraid I'll mess it up as well. I know this is a stupid (and embarrassing) post but any advice or experience?

Please don't give smart answers, thanks.

Emma have you even kissed this guy??

SterlingArcher · 23-01-2015 3:44am

An File wrote: »

Oh, FFS. :rolleyes:

At least try to understand that "gettings the shift" actually means kissing someone (and nothing more) before offering advice about it!

Bahaha I stand corrected, have had so many girls say fancy a shift after already kissing, I guess I just assumed.

HugsiePie · 23-01-2015 3:16pm

YAY another shifting thread!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cool::cool::cool::cool:

Have no fear, were all shifting experts here :pac:

Ask your friend Im sure she has a better understanding of said person/situation better than we do

But sure everyone worries theyll mess it up the 1st time, its easy, just follow what he does, but if you need a basic break down: tongue goes in, tongue goes out, tongue goes in, tongue goes out, tongue goes in, etc LA LA LA LA LA LA :pac: :pac: :pac: :P :cool:

Junco Partner · 23-01-2015 4:09pm

HugsiePie wrote: »

YAY another shifting thread!!!!!!!!!!!!! :cool::cool::cool::cool:

Have no fear, were all shifting experts here :pac:

Ask your friend Im sure she has a better understanding of said person/situation better than we do

But sure everyone worries theyll mess it up the 1st time, its easy, just follow what he does, but if you need a basic break down: tongue goes in, tongue goes out, tongue goes in, tongue goes out, tongue goes in, etc LA LA LA LA LA LA :pac: :pac: :pac: :P :cool:

So,,,, like do you "la la la" in your head or do you actually hum?

Getting the shift

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