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37 and never been kissed

  • 02-08-2014 7:55pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi
    Longtime lurker here and as my post title says, i'm a 37 year old lesbian and never been kissed. I've known I'm gay since I was 12 but as a result of childhood sexual abuse and crippling shyness/social anxiety, intimacy and relationships were the last things I wanted. However, I've been seeing a wonderful counsellor and I'm finally at the stage where I actually want to meet someone.

    One thing is bothering me though, my age. What would you think if you met a 37 year old that had absolutely no (non-abusive) experience? I feel very nervous about even approaching someone as I think it would put people off. This seems to be the last hurdle for me.

    Any thoughts or opinions appreciated.

    Thanks


Comments

  • #2
    Tuathanach
    Registered Users Posts: 58 ✭✭Tuathanach


    I would say well-done and just to go for it. I wouldn't worry about your age - it's not an issue. I mean it all depends on what you're looking for - whether it's just a bit of fun or something more long term, with your new found confidence and acceptance you'll manage to filter through the ****e and find someone that suits your needs down to a T and you never know - you could have the foundations of a really great lesbian-relationship given that you are inexperienced - you'll tend, i'd imagine, to pick a partner carefully and who could potentially open your world up !! :)

    I myself doubt i'll ever be accepting of myself - and not that I've 'never been kissed' I have utmost respect for people like you who go out there, seek the help and follow 'your dreams'. I know that sounds way OTT but you get what I mean!

    Enjoy ;)


  • #3
    pharmaton
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,192 ✭✭✭pharmaton


    Hi, I came out as I was heading into my thirties. While I don't have experience of being sexually abused myself, the majority of lgbt women I have met, have, so you'll probably find you're not alone and that there are plenty of others who you will relate to.

    Otherwise my advice would be fairly simple, take your time and enjoy yourself.


  • #4
    Elfcheque
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭Elfcheque


    It is not at all off putting. I am ten years ahead of you and think if you are able to go for what you want and need then it is better than the alternative.


  • #5
    floggg
    Registered Users Posts: 5,820 ✭✭✭floggg


    I considered myself a late bloomer too, though came out in my twenties. What I evebtually realised was that giving a **** about other peoples expectations wasn't going to get me anywhere and I just needed to put myself out there and see what happened.

    Otherwise id only remain in the same place.

    What I discovered is that nobody cared and once I worked up the nerve to get intimate the first time or two I soon got the swing of things.

    The only way to change things is to take the chance.


  • #6
    Running Amach
    Registered Users Posts: 10 ✭Running Amach


    Hiya,
    you are very welcome to join Running Amach...a social network Club for LGBTQ women in Ireland....of all ages We organize social events for women. It's a great way to make friends and have fun...while doing like minded activities. The informal support is invaluable & can help to build confidence & reduce isolation.
    Google Running Amach MeetUp LGBTQ Social Club.
    Cheers


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