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Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

All ye oul wans and oul fellas out there! Wakey wakey, rise and shine!

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    #6662
    Hagar the Nice.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Hagar the Nice.


    Does anyone on here know where I can find The Minestry of Funny Talks?


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    #6663
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Hagar the Nice. wrote: »
    I dunno tbh,I've never seen jellies lap dance.

    Everyone know that jellies don't dance.......they wobble!
    Hagar the Nice. wrote: »
    Does anyone on here know where I can find The Minestry of Funny Talks?

    I think you'll find it in Kildare Street. I asked himself, and he said its right next door to the Ministry of Limp Excuses.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV2ViNJFZC8


  • Options
    #6664
    BrensBenz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭BrensBenz


    Hhrumfff! I turn my back for a few weeks and find that the clientele has descended into soup-rustling; lap dancing; fillums with blue language; drinking hard licker; smoking cheroots; planning escapes and other forms of...of...of...boldness. Now I know how Moses felt when he reached ground level carrying those rocks with the hand-carved "rules". Well, I hope the priest gives yiz a million Our Fathers and Hail Marys.

    As for my own well-being, the surgeon is about to destroy my career as a topless model. Last year, he ruined my chances of modelling underpants, so all of my poses in Vogue since then have been from the waist up. Chemo gave me a blood-clot factory in my lower leg so, pretty soon, I'll be shampoo modelling only, i.e. Head and Shoulders.

    Best bit so far was the chuckle that slowly emerged from the large, Afro-Caribbean nurse as she struggled to find enough fat on my....ehhhmmm....hip-pocket area to pinch for an injection. After a laugh which was as contagious as yawning, she asked: "Who built you Irishman? Bad work, baaadd work!"

    Anyway, although my broadcasts will be scarce until late September, I'll be watching yiz closely. By mid-October, I'll be fully upright and well able to administer slaps, especially if I bring the Chuckling Nurse with me. So, be warned! Be good! Behave!


  • Options
    #6665
    OldGoat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,633 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    BrensBenz wrote: »
    "Who built you Irishman? Bad work, baaadd work!"
    I have great memories of living in Brixton and being lambasted by the locals for being a "skinnier then a shadow" and "Only worth bedding for noveltys sake". :cool:
    So, be warned! Be good! Behave!
    Be off with ya, party poopper!

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



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    #6666
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Hmmmmmmmmm I have a bottle of wine here that I am not allowed to drink. I bought it for my sister, but as sha has to drive home everytime she comes here she is not going to drink it either.

    I decided to brown nose and offer it to Beruthiel do you think she would notice the picture of the lady on the label who is dressed in a fetching azure outfit?


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    #6667
    Hagar the Nice.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Hagar the Nice.


    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    Everyone know that jellies don't dance.......they wobble!



    I think you'll find it in Kildare Street. I asked himself, and he said its right next door to the Ministry of Limp Excuses.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iV2ViNJFZC8
    I said to myself 'This is either gonna be Monty Python or an Orange Walk,'
    Correct again.


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    #6668
    OldGoat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,633 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    Rubecula wrote: »
    Hmmmmmmmmm I have a bottle of wine here that I am not allowed to drink. I bought it for my sister, but as sha has to drive home everytime she comes here she is not going to drink it either.

    I decided to brown nose and offer it to Beruthiel do you think she would notice the picture of the lady on the label who is dressed in a fetching azure outfit?
    You can offer it to her. She'll take it...and then she'll launch you like a ship by cracking it over your b(r)ow. :D

    Get me a nice bottle of Marques de Riscal Gran Reserva (2004) and I'll not PM her to tell her what your saying.

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



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    #6669
    Chucken
    Registered Users Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    Rubecula wrote: »
    Hmmmmmmmmm I have a bottle of wine here that I am not allowed to drink. I bought it for my sister, but as sha has to drive home everytime she comes here she is not going to drink it either.

    I decided to brown nose and offer it to Beruthiel do you think she would notice the picture of the lady on the label who is dressed in a fetching azure outfit?


    May Mod have mercy on your soul :(

    /Runs for cover


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    #6670
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    OldGoat wrote: »
    You can offer it to her. She'll take it...and then she'll launch you like a ship by cracking it over your b(r)ow. :D

    Get me a nice bottle of Marques de Riscal Gran Reserva (2004) and I'll not PM her to tell her what your saying.

    I prefer a nice Merlot or maybe a madeira. But I am not sure you need to let her know she says she is omniscient LOL Maybe you are right though Putting on armoured pants to save a boot up the jacksie.
    Chucken wrote: »
    May Mod have mercy on your soul :(

    /Runs for cover

    *runs and hides behind Chucken points at her.*

    She put me up to it, you know me I don't tell fibbles.


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    #6671
    Chucken
    Registered Users Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    Beruthiel knows I would never be so brazen batting-eyelashes-smiley-emoticon.gif


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    #6672
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Well, got to admit you have me convinced ..... :p


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    #6673
    Red Hare
    Registered Users Posts: 1,393 ✭✭✭Red Hare


    Up the Banner! Come on ye oulwans and oulfellas lets crack open a bottle of azure sister!


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    #6674
    OldGoat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,633 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    /Blows the dust off the banhammer .

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



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    #6675
    Red Hare
    Registered Users Posts: 1,393 ✭✭✭Red Hare


    Hi Old Goat - there is no need to ban me - I've just opened a bottle of of cheap argentinian white instead ;)- I'm toasting the banner to win.


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    #6676
    Chucken
    Registered Users Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    Red Hare wrote: »
    Hi Old Goat - there is no need to ban me - I've just opened a bottle of of cheap argentinian white instead ;)- I'm toasting the banner to win.

    Woohooo!!! Another Banner person.:D

    Welcome Red Hare!


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    #6677
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    hmmmm Blue Nun Mink anyone?



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    #6678
    Hagar the Nice.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Hagar the Nice.


    Rubecula wrote: »
    I prefer a nice Merlot or maybe a madeira. But I am not sure you need to let her know she says she is omniscient LOL Maybe you are right though Putting on armoured pants to save a boot up the jacksie.
    .
    Merlot,wasn't he a magician in Ye Olde Merrie England?


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    #6679
    BBDBB
    Registered Users Posts: 26,899 ✭✭✭✭BBDBB


    I got sent this quiz by a mate, I'll post up the answers in a day or so (not that you'll need em Im sure ;)

    1. When did ''Little Suzie'' finally wake up?
    (a) The movie's over, it's 2 o'clock
    (b) The movie's over, it's 3 o'clock
    (c) The movie's over, it's 4 o'clock
    2. ''Rock Around The Clock'' was used in what movie?
    (a) Rebel Without A Cause
    (b) Blackboard Jungle
    (c) The Wild Ones
    3. What's missing from a Rock & Roll standpoint? Earth _____
    (a) Angel
    (b) Mother
    (c) Worm
    4. ''I found my thrill . . .'' where?
    (a) Kansas City
    (b) Heartbreak Hotel
    (c) Blueberry Hill
    5. ''Please turn on your magic beam, _____ _____ bring me a dream,'':
    (a) Mr. Sandman
    (b) Earth Angel
    (c) Dream Lover
    6. For which label did Elvis Presley first record?
    (a) Atlantic
    (b) RCA
    (c) Sun
    7. He asked, ''Why's everybody always pickin' on me?'' Who was he?
    (a) Bad, Bad Leroy Brown
    (b) Charlie Brown
    (c) Buster Brown
    8. In Bobby Darin's ''Mack The Knife,'' the one with the knife, was named:
    (a) MacHeath
    (b) MacCloud
    (c) MacNamara
    9. Name the song with ''A-wop bop a-loo bop a-lop bam boom.''
    (a) Good Golly, Miss Molly
    (b) Be-Bop-A-Lula
    (c) Tutti Fruitti
    10. Who is generally given credit for originating the term ''Rock And Roll''?
    (a) Dic k Clark
    (b) Wolfman Jack
    (c) Alan Freed



    11. In 1957, he left the music business to become a preacher:
    (a) Little Richard
    (b) Frankie Lymon
    (c) Tony Orlando
    12. Paul Anka's ''Puppy Love'' is written to what star?
    (a) Brenda Lee
    (b) Connie Francis
    (c) Annette Funicello
    13. The Everly Brothers were . . ...
    (a) Pete and Dick
    (b) Don and Phil
    (c) Bob and Bill
    14. The Big Bopper's real name was:
    (a) Jiles P. Richardson
    (b) Roy Harold Scherer Jr.
    (c) Marion Michael Morrison
    15. In 1959, Berry Gordy, Jr.., started a small record company called...
    (a) Decca
    (b) Cameo
    (c) Motown
    16. Edd Brynes had a hit with ''Kookie, Kookie, Lend Me Your Comb''. What TV show was he on?
    (a) 77 Sunset Strip
    (b) Hawaiian Eye
    (c) Surfside Six
    17. In 1960 Bobby Darin married:
    (a) Carol Lynley
    (b) Sandra Dee
    (c) Natalie Wood
    18.. They were a one hit wonder with ''Book Of Love'':
    (a) The Penguins
    (b) The Monotones
    (c) The Moonglows
    19.. The Everly Brothers sang a song called ''Till I ______ You.''
    (a) Loved
    (b) Kissed
    (c) Met
    20. Chuck Berry sang ''Oh, ___________, why can't you be true?''
    (a) Suzie Q
    (b) Peggy Sue
    (c) Maybelline



    �


    21. ''Wooly _______''
    (a) Mammouth
    (b) Bully
    (c) Pully
    22. ''I'm like a one-eyed cat . . . .."
    (a) can't go into town no more
    (b) sleepin' on a cold hard floor
    (c) peepin' in a seafood store
    23. ''Sometimes I wonder what I'm gonna do . . . . ...''
    (a) cause there ain't no answer for a life without booze
    (b) cause there ain't no cure for the summertime blues
    (c) cause my car's gassed up and I'm ready to cruise
    24.. ''They often call me Speedo, but my real name is ... . . . . ..''
    (a) Mr. Earl
    (b) Jackie Pearl
    (c) Milton Berle
    25. ''You're my Fanny and nobody else's ......''
    (a) girl
    (b) butt
    (c) love
    26. ''I want you to play with my . . . ''
    (a) heart
    (b) dreams
    (c) ding a ling
    27. ''Be Bop A Lula ....''
    (a) she's got the rabies
    (b) she's my baby.
    (c) she loves me, maybe
    28. ''Fine Love, Fine Kissing ..''
    (a) right here
    (b) fifty cents
    (c) just for you
    29. ''He wore black denim trousers and . . .''
    (a) a pink carnation
    (b) pink leotards
    (c) motorcycle boots
    30. ''I got a gal named . ... .''
    (a) Jenny Zamboni
    (b) Gerri Mahoney
    (c) Boney Maroney


  • Options
    #6680
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    That is great BBDBB, had a good laugh at some of the answers too.


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    #6681
    Hagar the Nice.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Hagar the Nice.


    23/30,poor show,I thought I'd do better.:(


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    #6682
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,046 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    :eek: I haven't really tried it, but a quick glance through the questions suggest I might be able to answer maybe 3 or 4... I know the Mr Sandman one...it will now be an ear worm for several days!


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    #6683
    BrensBenz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭BrensBenz


    Wohh? No Charlie Drake's boomerang or Carl Denver's Wimoweh?
    26 / 30, but that only suggests a sad bloke with a great future behind him.
    Now, let's see if Mr. Wikipedia can fill in the gaps...


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    #6684
    OldGoat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,633 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    A weekend of burlesque, cigars and shotguns ahead. The only downside is that the shotguns are going to be really early on Sunday morning, AFTER the night of burlesque and cigars.

    I may be a bit grumpy on Monday.

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



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    #6685
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    In that case OG I will be a good lad on Monday..... don't need you to dust off the 'hammer of the goat' on my behalf lol


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    #6686
    Chucken
    Registered Users Posts: 9,459 ✭✭✭Chucken


    OldGoat wrote: »
    shotguns are going to be really early on Sunday morning, AFTER the night of burlesque and cigars.

    What could possibly go wrong?


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    #6687
    Rubecula
    Registered Users Posts: 8,551 ✭✭✭Rubecula


    Chucken wrote: »
    What could possibly go wrong?

    :o


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    #6688
    BrensBenz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭BrensBenz


    More boldness and debauchery! How do you spell that stutting sound of disapproval much used by grannies?

    Anyway, now that I've got Charlie Drake's boomerang song out of my head, can any of yiz complete this opus title:
    "I am a Mole and I......."

    And, for extra points, fill in the blank:
    "I'm not a ..... or a hip-potomus"

    Sorry, no bonus points for telling me that the title was sung by Gary Wilmot's dad because that factoid was a staple of pub quizzes for yonks.....not that I ever took part in pub quizzes.....or go into pubs.....or go out anywhere.....ever....


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    #6689
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    BrensBenz wrote: »
    ...Anyway, now that I've got Charlie Drake's boomerang song out of my head, can any of yiz complete this opus title:
    "I am a Mole and I......."

    And, for extra points, fill in the blank:
    "I'm not a ..... or a hip-potomus"


    I yam a mole, and I live in a hole! :D (ages since I heard that)

    Can't remember t'other!


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    #6690
    Hagar the Nice.
    Closed Accounts Posts: 984 ✭✭✭Hagar the Nice.


    Hard to believe he was once reckoned to be the toughest guy in Englandshire.


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    #6691
    BrensBenz
    Registered Users Posts: 1,292 ✭✭✭BrensBenz


    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    I yam a mole, and I live in a hole! :D (ages since I heard that)

    Can't remember t'other!

    "I'm not a ram or a clam or a lamb,
    I'm not a hog or a frog or a dog,
    I'm not a bus or a hip-potomus,
    I am a mole and I live in a hole"

    I (ahem) know somebody who, in high babies, insisted to Teacher that "hippotomus" was correct - because the men on the radio sang it - and, later, that "newmonia" could be listed as a terrible illness.

    Anyway, your starter for ten: did Henry and Liza ever fix that hole in their bucket?


This discussion has been closed.
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