The most stupid thing you heard in school?

lottodrink · 10-12-2008 5:53pm

Smoking stunts your growth.. Was told that at the age of 14 I was like 5ft im now 21 and 6ft7'...

Miss: "why are you late?"

Student: "well I ran all the way till I came to this sign"

Miss: "what did the sign say?"

Student: "Slow Down"

**LAUGHTER**

One of the funniest school days I ever had lol

RxQueen · 10-12-2008 6:04pm

One of the guys in class went mitching one day, so the next day he had to hand up a note saying he was sick etc, handed up his note , and the teacher asked him in front of everybody how to spell "John" and got in trouble cause he spelt his fathers name wrong *facepalm* !!

another one .

had a really simple maths teacher God love her! , we were all in class one day and she was just after calming us down, and started going mental at the guy sitting in the front desk , screamed at him" i told you no drinking in class" and kicked him out of the class for it! ...... he was holding his lucozade pencil case in his hand, oh how i laughed!

fannyflaps · 10-12-2008 6:05pm

Where is the whore house sir?

Hellm0 · 10-12-2008 6:13pm

When I was very young it was the consensus amongst those in the know that women had babies out the "backdoor", knowledge of the other door being limited in availability at the time it did seem a sound assumption.

I was once told I would never achieve anything, needless to say I make more now than that teacher every did.

In fairness I was usually the one saying stupid things though.

blah · 10-12-2008 6:21pm

"I don't believe that people came from monkeys. Sure if that was true wouldn't monkeys still be turning into people today."

Like as if the theory of evolution means that daily, chimpanzees are falling out of trees, shedding their hair, donning bowler hats and heading off to work in the call centre. :rolleyes:

Zangetsu · 10-12-2008 6:25pm

"Girl: Well, it says the answer is false, but if it's true that it's false, shouldn't we put true?

Still not sure if that was stupid or Shakespearean."

Jaysus, I want to marry her...

meesa · 10-12-2008 6:26pm

One guy asked "An bhfuil cead agum dul go dti an leitharas"?..or somethin` like that...no one knew what he was askin`.. ...so he p***ed himself.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock · 10-12-2008 6:26pm

Varkov wrote: »

Look Poo, no one gives a rats ass if you live in fuppin Germany.

And it strikes me more as a slightly below room temperature greyish area.

Dearest Varkov, it seem there has been a misunderstanding. I was simply replying to a question as to what the most stupid (shouldn't that read "stupidest"?) think I'd heard in school.

That, by a comfortable margin, was it.

I'm not entirely sure how living in Germany comes into it...?

Hellm0 · 10-12-2008 6:27pm

blah wrote: »

"I don't believe that people came from monkeys. Sure if that was true wouldn't monkeys still be turning into people today."

Like as if the theory of evolution means that daily, chimpanzees are falling out of trees, shedding their hair, donning bowler hats and heading off to work in the call centre. :rolleyes:

I saw that happen last week, cept the newly evolved humanzie made his way into the Dail.

punchestown · 10-12-2008 6:38pm

Starmix wrote: »

2 Unlimited died in a car crash.....

No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no

blah · 10-12-2008 6:42pm

Starmix wrote: »

2 Unlimited died in a car crash.....

punchestown wrote: »

No no, no no no no, no no no no, no no

There's no speed limits?

highlydebased · 10-12-2008 6:43pm

"If you have sex and your underage she will get pregnant and you will be arrested"

or

"Lads, God exists"

Riddle101 · 10-12-2008 6:46pm

Girl in my Irish Class when i was in 6th year: Is the Irish Flag Green, White and Orange?

Girl in my English class who was late for class:
Teacher: Where have you been?
Girl: I was talking to <Insert teacher of the class she walked into's name>
Class: *Laughter*

My Math teacher:
Student No1 to student No2: What are you having for Christmas... Chicken(The student he was slagging was called Chicken because he bottled it when he was supposed to fight someone so we called him a chicken)
Student No2: Shut up you Jew(Student No1 got the nickname Jew because he looked Jewish. I'll make sure you won't celebrate Christmas
Student No1: I don't celebrate Christmas
Me: That's because you're a Jew
Techer: I want to see you after class
Me: Why
Teacher: Because that's racist

I understand why he might have thought it offensive but it was actually true. Jewish people don't celebrate Christmas they celebrate Honakkah, but i guess he didn't understand the meaning of it.

AlmightyCushion · 10-12-2008 6:55pm

I remember one guy in my class asked me how IRA was spelt. He always asked stupid questions like that. I often wondered how that guy dressed himself in the morning.

pepsi1234 · 10-12-2008 6:55pm

Once when the teacher brought up Silicon Valley one guy put up his and and asked: ''Miss, is Pamela Anderson from Silicon Valley?'' .
Her reaction was hilarious!

punchestown · 10-12-2008 7:08pm

Garda College, Templemore.

Chief comes in to lecture theatre to welcome new recruits. 'Have we any Dubs with us?' etc repeated for each major county in Ireland and a couple of backwater towns that the chief knew well. Then he asks 'Have we any friends from the north with us?' Cue one hand being raised. 'And what part of the six counties are you from?' he asks the girl with the hand raised sitting not two rows away from him. 'Donegal' she replies!:eek:

zonEEE · 10-12-2008 7:13pm

1 of the lads strolls in about 15 mins late one day after lunch.

Teacher says where have you been?

aww miss ****ing dragon on pearse road couldn't get passed him.

Teacher : sit down you dope.

2 mins another guy strolls in

again teacher where have you been?

****in dragon on pearse road

she just shakes her head and tells in to sit down.

From that day everyone used that anytime they were late for her class she left a few months later when she had an inspector in (think she was still doing the dip) one of the lads go up to her and says today miss is the day we ruin your career and for the whole class everyone kept shouting out stuff and every time she went to the board everyone changed seats, inspector just sitting there looking shocked.

poisonated · 10-12-2008 7:18pm

Whenever anyone would ask my spanish teacher a question she would always say "put your hand down it makes me nervous"... strange woman

ergonomics · 10-12-2008 7:22pm

Our English teacher was absolutely adamant that Atlantic was spelled 'Athlantic'.

Susannahmia · 10-12-2008 7:24pm

In sixth year the honours history class had a holocaust victim in as a guest speaker. We had a free class later on so one of the teachers that was at the talk was telling our Irish class all about the story the guy had told;

Basically the guy remembered his mother carrying a bundle when boarding a train to Auschwitz, a Nazi Soldier grabbed the bundle and threw it in a bush and made her board the train...that bundle was the speakers little sisters dead body...

Anyways, cue a hushed silence by the whole class...until it was broken by one guy who asked, dead serious: "And was that a TRUE story Miss?"

5T3PH3N · 10-12-2008 7:24pm

In J.C french we were learning the names of sports, the teacher was writing them on the board and she would tell us 1 by 1 how to pronounce them and little ways of remembering them. After she wrote: Basketball-Basket, she turned and said it's the same at Basketball but without the ball.
Student: "but how do they play basketball without the ball"

Then there was the Religion teacher who would always say he was goin to get the principle because of our behaviour and storm out of the room, only to return 10mins later wit a cup of tea. He did this nearly every class and never came back with anyone. Then one day we locked him out of his room and from then on we were on class report with the yearhead and principle paying us a visit nearly every day:)

Edit: And then there was the history teacher that used to call out notes for us to write down and she insisted on spelling nearly every word with more than 4 letters in it, and also telling us when to put in full stops/comma's. One day she was calling out a sentence and an the end she said "full stop". I asked her how do you spell full stop and she started spelling it and i pretended to write it down until every1 burst out laughing. Then i got in ****:)

Frisbee · 10-12-2008 7:24pm

ThenComesDudley wrote: »

keenan and kel killed in a car crash,
will smith killed in a car crash,
ant and dec killed in a car crash,

those did the rounds in my school

Another one was that Wee Man from Jackass died because he was so small?!

Quint · 10-12-2008 7:29pm

Scooter died after the took 17 ecstacy tabs

Someone asked the religion teacher:
"if a man has sex with a donkey, will the donkey have a half man/half human baby?"

10-12-2008 7:32pm

poisonated wrote: »

Whenever anyone would ask my spanish teacher a question she would always say "put your hand down it makes me nervous"... strange woman

Someone put their hand UP her skirt when she was younger? :eek:

Raze_them_all · 10-12-2008 7:32pm

Quint wrote: »

Scooter died after the took 17 ecstacy tabs

Someone asked the religion teacher:
"if a man has sex with a donkey, will the donkey have a half man/half human baby?"

It could explain how Pighead came into existance:p

coffee_cake · 10-12-2008 7:33pm

"dolphin-friendly tuna? you mean tuna is made from dolphins??"

Sassy* · 10-12-2008 7:36pm

That parmesan was actually coke, que one curious girl deciding to go for it. Laughter insued!

ShooterSF · 10-12-2008 7:47pm

Excluding the religious stuff because they can be passed off as faith for some the big one for me was being taught that your tongue was split into five parts and everyone one could taste one taste be it savoury sour etc. It was in our text books. I believed that for years (longer than the religious stuff) and then found it it wasnt true and on top of that there are 6 tastes!

Weirdest thing would be my first day in secondary school english. If anyone's ever studied in a certain classical school in Navan they'd know a Mr.Ball. He had us chase imaginary butterflies around the room. He then had us queue up to pet the one he caught as it had the Everton colors. Got pretty annoyed hen one of the lads squished it!

Wertz · 10-12-2008 7:47pm

There was one guy in my year with a bit of a farming background who had a voice to match..cmae up to my mate in the class one day and asked "Can I borrow the lend of a coupla bits of Tippex?" We fell about laughing. Ironically enough I think it was in English class too.

dr.bollocko · 10-12-2008 7:54pm

That X is equal to minus b plus or minus the square root of of b squared minus 4ac all over 2a.
That crap is about as useful as a hot ass on a cheeseburger.

The most stupid thing you heard in school?

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