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Friendship over because because of a kiss?

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  • 02-11-2015 2:09pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Let me start by saying that I am fully aware of how I was totally in the wrong in the following situation: So about a week ago my friends and I were at a party. At the start of the night I heard that friend #1 had hooked with some guy the night before, and as the party progresses they shift again (no big deal). The night goes on and everyone proceeds to get totally hammered. I myself was feeling totally **** due to an unrelated situation. Next thing I know, friend #1's guy sits next to me, and puts his hand around my waist. In a state of total disregard, we kissed. (once again, I totally regret it). It was from here that friend #2 sees and is rightfully outrage, and I freak the **** out. From here I find friend #1 and apologize numerous times.
    Since then friend #1 has said that she forgives me, understands that I was feeling vulnerable and what I did wasn't malicious, and stated that she was more mad at the guy (in case you can't tell, she's a very good friend). However everything now feels different. We don't talk with the same level of closeness, and I can't tell if this is because she needs time, or if she wants to end our friendship altogether. I know that what I did was horrible, but the thought of losing her really scares me.
    Tagged:


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    #2
    Idle Passerby
    Registered Users Posts: 1,120 ✭✭✭Idle Passerby


    Friend #1 didn't own the guy, she only hooked up with him the day previous so I doubt they were already established as an exclusive item. The guy is clearly trying it on with everyone so its not like she lost a total catch there. Friend #2 has no business being annoyed, its nothing whatsoever to do with her, ignore her busybodying.

    I doubt you've lost a friendship over a drunken kiss with some random guy no one was even going out with.


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    #3
    jimmycrackcorm
    Registered Users Posts: 14,329 ✭✭✭✭jimmycrackcorm


    I think you are way over thinking the situation, and if you're friend is that upset about it then they're not the kind of friend you really need to have.


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    #4
    retro:electro
    Registered Users Posts: 21,039 ✭✭✭✭retro:electro


    While you are probably over thinking it slightly, you'll have to understand why she may feel a bit weird around you for a while. The friendship dynamic has shifted slightly since you kissed the guy she likes. That's not to say it can't get back to where it was, it can, but don't force it. You've said you're sorry to her now so just let her get over it in her own time and move on from the situation.


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    #5
    pookie82
    Registered Users Posts: 2,217 ✭✭✭pookie82


    If I'm reading this correctly, she kissed him the night before and ALSO the night in question, before you? So she probably thought in her head she was "scoring" this guy and then turns around to see her mate doing likewise an hour later.

    Not a great move on your part, but not enough to ruin a friendship, I would think. He obviously doesn't have much heed on either of you if he's happy to kiss you both in full view on the same night, but this would annoy a lot of girls, so give her a little space for a bit until she realises herself it's not worth distancing over. Perhaps she's wondering whether to be "wary" of you in that respect from now on.

    I guess make sure alcohol intake doesn't lead to this type of scenario repeating itself in future.


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    #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Obviously things are going to be awkward for a while. Don't you feel awkward around her?! In time it'll pass, and you'll both probably laugh about it in 20 years time.

    (That might seem really far away to you, but trust me, it's not!)


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    #7
    Teafor two12345
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 410 ✭✭Teafor two12345


    What's the background of the friendship? Is this a one off thing? Or has there been previous drama?

    If it's a one off thing then it will more than likely pass if you give some space and make effort. I am not saying she owned him or anything.

    If it's part of of series of little things adding up then that is a different story.

    What break up relationships and friendships are not one off things really but a series of things that are part of what make up a friendship. But sometimes they are seen only from one side.

    BTW men are NEVER worth it. Both of you should not break up over a guy.

    I would say give it time and it will be ok.


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