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Girlfriend Adopted

  • 17-04-2013 3:39pm
    #1
    Registered Users Posts: 3


    Hi all,

    Just wondering if i might be able to get some opinions please!

    I have been going out with my girlfriend for 5 years. She is adopted and has never looked for her birth parents nor does she intend to. When she told me this I got the impression that she felt a bit uncomfortable talking about it so I didn't ask too much.

    In the past 5 years, around her birthday she has mentioned the date as being significant in relation to being adopted but again as I felt she was uncomfortable talking about it I didn't ask for any details.

    Last night she told me that she feels really embarrassed about being adopted. We were interrupted before the conversation could go any further and she also had a few drinks on her so I didn't think it was the time or place to discuss it! She has serious issues around confidence, self worth, sex and stress that I'm thinking are maybe related to this feeling of embarrassment? Before I met her I know she also had suicidal thoughts related to stress.

    Could anyone shed any light or share a similar experience?

    Many thanks


Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 55 ✭✭mamafi


    Hi Dex, sorry to hear that your girlfriend is finding things hard to deal with. My hubby is adopted also and in the 20 + years that we are together he has gone from wanting to look for info about birth family to not wanting and then last year someone came looking for him (his youngest birth brother).After a night out with hubbys brother and his wife I finally got to the bottom of his constint change of mind. It turned out that his bmother had 7 children 5 were adopted and his brothers wife said that she couldnt believe out of all the children that their mother had it was the youngest that started the search and hubby told her that he couldn't do it because he feared that bmother wouldn't want to know...I never knew this is how he felt because he just doesn't seem to be the type of person to worry about it and he would normally tell me everything..It was the fear of rejection that was stopping him and I never knew he felt like that...maybe this is your girlfriends prob...maybe she feels the same way...


  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 18,952 Mod ✭✭✭✭Moonbeam


    closed at the request of the op as he has opened a thread in PI


This discussion has been closed.
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