The way unmarried mothers were/are viewed in Ireland

Tigerbaby wrote: »

I, too, feel disjointed. You are not alone. I was born in 1960, all I really remember about the Catholic Church is a feeling of "full spectrum dominance". The ethos was everywhere, and everywhere it was negative; Thou Must not, Thou dare not. Thou will obey. In School, (CBS Primary and Secondary) at home, on Sundays. Everywhere.

Its hard to explain to such a "positive" generation as we have today, but really we were brainwashed by fear. We should have been drowned in love.

In summation, my Catholic upbringing was not a force for good. It left me with an uncaused and undeserved feeling of guilt. ( Original sin? what a joke ). I think my morality and ethics have managed to peek out from this dark cloud. But its a struggle, sometimes every day a struggle.

I like to think that I have managed to escape the mental torture of that time. But its so damned hard. The latest scandals of the babies in Tuam has broken the final chord. From now on, its just me and God. I dont need any Priest or Nun or Druid in between me and Him.

May God forgive those who have turned their backs on compassion and love, to live a life of adherence and dismal obedience.

looksee wrote: »

OP, I am not really following what you are saying, are you saying you don't feel like you belong because you do not identify with the current morals of the country, or you are ashamed of the previous social morality, or is it something else?

It is so much easier to look at the evils of the past and wring our hands about them than it is to look at the issues of the present and accept that maybe something should be done about them. We need to recognise things that were done badly in order to use them as stepping stones to continuing to improve our society, and on the whole this does happen. Society is vastly better now than it was in the past, and yet we still have problems that need to be dealt with, and in a couple of generations there will be people saying 'why did you not do something about that? How could you let it happen?'

Completely agreed. I've been saying that in another thread. I don't do handwringing, but I find it difficult not to despair of any change sometimes. Please forgive. I'm here seeking more ways I can understand the present, by being informed by the past.

It is not a matter of 'sweeping it under the carpet', it is right that all the recent scandals about, for example, the Church, should have been exposed. If nothing else it will ensure that the same things cannot happen again. But what has been done cannot be undone and the exposures should be worth more than an opportunity for lurid headlines and self-righteous indignation. We have to learn from events and move on to make sure that future scandals are caught before they happen.

I've been saying that for a while now, but how do we learn from events unless the events are taught to our next generations in a factual manner without RCC whitewashing? I ask, because 95% of our schools are owned by the private organisation of the RCC.

There was a recent headline about Traveller mortality rates being higher than the general population. How many people have said, 'this is disgraceful, we have to do something about it'?. And how many said, 'it is their own choice to live the way they do, what can we do about it'? How is this any different to society regarding women who got pregnant outside marriage as people who brought their problems on themselves?

We are even more culpable now, as we are now more conscious of what needs to be done in society, rather than accepting that 'they' know best and nothing can be done about the institutions that control us. Indeed with the almost overwhelming availability of information and opportunities for discussion now, nothing should be hidden away. Are we all loudly protesting that, for example, homelessness should not exist, children should not have to live in disfunctional families, hospitals should not be overcrowded and underfunded, and so on? Some people are, but still there are others who complain about the Nanny state, spongers and idlers and people with a sense of entitlement.

You're quite right, of course. There are disgraces happening today, appalling human rights abuses and massive righteousness about who is entitled to care and who should not be. A bit of perspective is something I should hold onto, and tbh, I do not deny these things are happening but I admit I probably don't protest as much as I could.

I guess I'm particularly touchy about this issue. When this came up, I remembered a local fella approaching me years ago - myself and another single mother friend. He asked me to come and help look after the Cillín with him, as it would be the likes of our children who were in there. It's only from my recent and sharp learning curve about this issue that I understand what he meant and it hit me like a brick.

Improving society is an on-going process and feeling demoralised by what happened in the past is not helpful. Expose corruption, cruelty and injustice, accept the lessons, and use the knowledge to move on, we are not at the end of the process, this is just part of it.

Gosh, I'll give it a go. I'm trying to be a more action less talk kind of person, but clearly not good enough. Cheers.