Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

I thought that I was gay... or am I still?

  • 13-04-2014 11:10pm
    #1
    WoodieWoodPeck
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    Hey Guys,

    This might be a bit long. And I started a new account for obvious reasons (and I want to be able to reply)

    So since I was about 13/14 I always thought that I was gay. I went to an all boys school, never spent much time with females that werent related to me. I seen guys naked in locker rooms and what not but never women.

    I always wanted to look at other guys and I now think most of it was just curiosity or even jealousy. Im not a particularly masculine looking guy, relatively skinny and short at 5'7", but more importantly I have a smaller penis at just slightly under 5inches and not a shower. So I always jealous of the other guys and wanted to see what they looked like. I thought that this meant I was gay.

    I watched both straight and gay porn when growing up (just as porn was becoming so available), I thought that straight porn looked disgusting and watched a lot of gay porn.

    But I never really enjoyed being with guys though, I liked the idea of being dominated by a guy, I was very young and innocent so I 'decided' that I was gay before really trying anything.

    Once I did start to experiment I realised that I dont really like it at all or anything, but I still look and some guys and think, wow hes sexy.

    Recently I got drunk and slept with a girl, and I absolutely loved it, and have been more or less slutting myself out since then (Im actually finding it pretty easy to get women) and I havnt been able to stop thinking about women and their bodies.

    Ive went back onto porn sites and I still just dont find it attractive at all. I think its just the 'type of women' in most porn. So I searched around and found a lot of it that I actually do like (one of the main things is I dont like huge boobs or older women much)

    Im feeling quite a bit confused. To sum it up I always thought I was gay, but I dont like sleeping with men, love sleeping with women but still find men somewhat attractive.

    This has come as quite a bit of a shock and I still havnt talked to anyone about it.


Comments

  • #2
    J_E
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,734 ✭✭✭J_E


    Try not to think of sexuality as a 'this or that'. Think of it more like a fluid sort of concept, a sliding scale. It tends to be a lot more complicated than just 'I like men/women/other' for most people!

    You sound like you are still finding yourself, so just try not to overthink it, go with what feels natural to you, just make sure you try to keep it in moderation, because too much sex will drain you over time and cause you to lose an interest. It's not crazy to still find men's bodies attractive.

    Porn (and particularly porn depicting females) can sometimes be fairly unrealistic and ott so I wouldn't worry too much in that regard.

    Sometimes I find a really good indicator of your sexual preference is to ask yourself 'would I enjoy kissing ___?'. Not a definite rule or anything, but for me that is sometimes the case.


  • #3
    DylanII
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,102 ✭✭✭DylanII


    Im not gay myself so Im not going to pretend like I know everything that you talking about, but is there really a need to put a label on who you are?

    Can you not just like who you like whenever you want them? Just be who you are, okay most people may remain 'straight' or 'gay' or whatever for their whole life, but I wouldnt say its uncommon for people to change between both.

    But you sound young so I might suspect that you are still figuring out who you are? Once again I dont really know much thats just my thoughts, Im sure there are other people around who might know a lot more than me and have more informed views.


  • #4
    Dr. Shrike
    Registered Users Posts: 102 ✭✭Dr. Shrike


    It sounds like you had the backwards experience of most bisexual men.

    I'm sure there's plenty of threads on here featuring men, who thought they were 100% straight, getting stressed due to watching gay porn and having fantasies about being dominated by other men.

    I wouldn't worry about it too much.


  • #5
    Lou.m
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,532 ✭✭✭Lou.m


    WoodieWoodPeck wrote: »
    Hey Guys,

    This might be a bit long. And I started a new account for obvious reasons (and I want to be able to reply)

    So since I was about 13/14 I always thought that I was gay. I went to an all boys school, never spent much time with females that werent related to me. I seen guys naked in locker rooms and what not but never women.

    I always wanted to look at other guys and I now think most of it was just curiosity or even jealousy. Im not a particularly masculine looking guy, relatively skinny and short at 5'7", but more importantly I have a smaller penis at just slightly under 5inches and not a shower. So I always jealous of the other guys and wanted to see what they looked like. I thought that this meant I was gay.

    I watched both straight and gay porn when growing up (just as porn was becoming so available), I thought that straight porn looked disgusting and watched a lot of gay porn.

    But I never really enjoyed being with guys though, I liked the idea of being dominated by a guy, I was very young and innocent so I 'decided' that I was gay before really trying anything.

    Once I did start to experiment I realised that I dont really like it at all or anything, but I still look and some guys and think, wow hes sexy.

    Recently I got drunk and slept with a girl, and I absolutely loved it, and have been more or less slutting myself out since then (Im actually finding it pretty easy to get women) and I havnt been able to stop thinking about women and their bodies.

    Ive went back onto porn sites and I still just dont find it attractive at all. I think its just the 'type of women' in most porn. So I searched around and found a lot of it that I actually do like (one of the main things is I dont like huge boobs or older women much)

    Im feeling quite a bit confused. To sum it up I always thought I was gay, but I dont like sleeping with men, love sleeping with women but still find men somewhat attractive.

    This has come as quite a bit of a shock and I still havnt talked to anyone about it.


    This is just my opinion.

    Your Orientation is not really the same as who you are attracted too.

    Which gender do you fall in love with?

    Many gay guys go through a period of sleeping with women and getting sexual satisfaction yet can only fall deeply in love with men.

    If you have a certain type of woman, (I.e I have a friend who can only find boyish blonde women attractive) but you can be attracted to any man. Then I would wager you are gay. It is the gender as a whole rather than individuals. If a woman who was not your type was in front of you and a man who would you be more inclined to go with? A straight guy might say the woman regardless.

    I obviously am not going to tell you what you are.

    But I do know that gay men sometimes get with women as it is one type or one individual they are attracted to. But their true orientation surfaces and they begin to find sex with women more and more difficult to do.

    Be careful that you are always enjoying what you are doing either with women or men.

    I know many gay guys who found out it was easy for them to get with girls and just went along with it allowing themselves to be damaged.

    If you find guys sexy perhaps it was WHAT you were doing with those guys.

    Which gender could you see yourself in a relationships with? That tends to be the clincher.

    Bi sounds like a possible scenario.

    Don't feel you have to do anything.


    What age are you by the way?
    A lot of people find their sexuality becomes more defined as they get older ?

    I find myself in a similar situation weirdly.

    I am female when I was 13 /14 I told my mother I was a lesbian. I had encounters with girls from about 17 on. But when I was 22 I had a relationship with a guy. I have had serious relationships with both genders. Sexually I am more into girls (I am a girl) and into relationships with them. But sexually less into men it takes a lot longer to feel the feels. But I am dating a guy right now. I have identified as Bi after a long search.

    I can fall in love with both but my sex drive for women is much higher. I don't know why.

    The Hormones that operate sex and love are diff. Your head can be gay but your heart not etc.

    I think this is interesting.



    Just be careful you do not allow yourself to be taken advantage off by women or men. I know a lot of people you mess themselves up by continuing to try sex with people their brains are not wired for.

    Don't feel the need to define it. Do what you feel comfortable with and what your partners feel comfortable with.


Advertisement