Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

Becoming my own person

  • 02-03-2008 2:06am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm 24 and I've always been very shy, introverted and lacking in confidence. I have difficulty talking to people, never really know what to say to them and although I like my job I haven't really been able to make a connection with anyone I work with. I have some good friends from school and college but I find it very difficult and stressful to deal with most people. Even though I'm approaching my mid-twenties I still feel like a child a lot of the time.

    I've been in a relationship since I was 21, shortly after I finished college, and I've never really travelled by myself or lived by myself as an adult. I haven't been with that many people either so this relationship is all that I know. It's a good relationship, we get on well, have similar values and interests and enjoy each others company but a big part of me is worried that I haven't experienced enough in life by myself or had a chance to grow as my own person. My partner is a bit older than me, much more settled and sure of themself and who they are/what they want and part of me is worried that I'm never going to become my own person while I have them as a safety net.

    I'm so confused because half the time the time I feel happy that I have someone to live with, that I'm not lonely, that I can share so much in life with someone I care about and the other half of the time I feel like I want to get away, be independant, stand on my own two feet more and not have to consider someone else in everything I do (selfish as that is).

    Anyone else in this kind of situation or ever felt the same way?


Comments

  • #2
    Marksie
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,395 ✭✭✭Marksie


    This happens to many or most at some point in their lives.

    They begin to grow and develop and change and look for other things. Being in a long term realtionship at such an age can be good but needs to grow and develop with it. You partner being older may or may not be a negative factor.
    he may be more settled yes, but if you two can talk openly then her may be able to compromise and allow you to develop.

    So the short answer is yes: you are developing as a person and questioning where you want to go an who you want to be.
    Natural and important


  • #3
    Weidii
    Closed Accounts Posts: 842 ✭✭✭Weidii


    I know how you feel.

    Maybe you could ask them to go on a break?


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I've been in a similar situation, and definatley felt the same way! You're not alone :) Its not selfish to want some independence and to take some time for yourself.

    However, I don't think breaking up with your partner should be the automatic response. It sounds like you have a good relationship so that's something that you need to think about carefully.

    Maybe you could try doing something just for yourself, by yourself...a skill you've always wanted to learn, a place you've always wanted to visit. Chances are you'll get to know some new people too and it will boost your confidence.


Advertisement