Discourage / ignore piercings?

pinkbear · 02-08-2014 3:42am #1

DD (16) has taken to getting piercings recently. She has 3 in each ear & her belly button done now. My husband is going crazy (with me, not her), saying I shouldn't allow her to do it, and it's a slippery slope to many more piercings then tattoos etc.

I don't agree at all. To be honest I think they're lovely, and had my ears done a few times back in the day. I don't think it'll lead to tattoos, and I don't think that telling her she's not allowed do it would make a blind bit of difference except she would do it anyway then I'd feel obliged to argue with her about it.

DH is adamant that people are judged by their piercings, and she has reduced her chances of getting a good job etc. I honestly don't think that a clean, educated, well presented person with a few small earrings has any less of a chance getting a job than she would without. I certainly wouldn't judge someone based on earrings, and I think most people wouldn't.

I wouldn't like to see her with tattoos or facial piercings and I think the best chance of getting her to avoid them is to allow a few piercings now so that in the future there's a better chance of her taking my advice if I haven't been fighting with her all along.

What do people think?

GalwayGirl26 · 02-08-2014 4:23pm

I think you are doing the right thing; ear and belly button piercings are fine- mostly hidden and will close up if she takes them out. It's fashion and pretty much harmless at her age (unless her school has a policy.)
Picking your battles is key to dealing with teens and I would let this slide. Bring up the issues of facial piercings/visible tattoos when she is looking to her future career (Leaving Cert. kind of time).

Chain_reaction · 06-08-2014 10:07pm

I got my lip pierced at 15 and moved onto various other piercings after that, at 19 I got a part time job and took them out. I never bothered putting them back in again. Most of my friends were the same. It won't be as dramatic a picture as your husband paints to be honest! Most tattoo shops also won't tattoo anyone under 18 either and they are also far from cheap. It'll be grand.

LadyMayBelle · 07-08-2014 4:37pm

That phrase 'pick your battles' is so true with teenagers! The more fuss and anger shown the more likely she is to rebel. Get your balance right of taking an interest in the care of the piercings etc and educating her as to the realities of wokring in some places that might not necessarily approve.

Your husband might take this chance to try understand a bit better what it's like being a teenager, and maybe encourage him to have that chat with her about the piercing, did it hurt, how muhc was it, and the parenting shouldnt be left all to you!

My bro is a professional body piercer now so you can well imagine even at his age what my parents are like! But they learned to pick their battles and the more they resisted, the more he went for the piercings!

columf · 07-08-2014 5:00pm

What I would do is make sure she is going to a decent piercing studio she will have to pay more but the job will be done right. The Husband needs to talk to the daughter and by talk I mean just that not a lecture or a shouting match needs to hear Daughters side and Daughter needs to listen to Dads concerns with out the whole "uhh you just don't understand me" ****e.

07-08-2014 5:06pm

I went through the piercing phase...then realized I'd need a job when I turned 18

in all fairness I did get tattoos all down my left arm and chest but hasn't restricted me getting jobs or anything,shirts cover them up in work.

nc19 · 07-08-2014 5:11pm

Its a different world these days. The person interviewing you could have more piercing s or tats then you for all you know.

DH is being a dick

pinkbear · 07-08-2014 9:28pm

Thanks for all the replies. It's great to hear other people's viewpoints.

lang · 09-08-2014 9:39am

The title was most definitely tongue-in-cheek!!

Why in god's name would it be your fault that your child has gone and got a few piercings!!??!! I have a good few piercings and got my first one when I was around 17. I have not got any tattoos at all and have no intention of getting any. There is no reason to believe that your DD would move on from piercings to tattoos. My view on tattoos is that they are permanent and piercings I can take out if needed.

I am fortunate enough to have a job now where I do not have to take out my piercings but when I worked in Tesco I had to take them all out while on-shift... easy!! I think you should tell your husband to take a chill-pill and go with the flow.

By all means have the conversations with your daughter about how people perceive others and make first impressions of people by the way they look. It can open up a whole world of conversations with her around prejudice, etc. Might be good for your husband to have these conversation with your daughter too. Might open his eyes to his own prejudices... ??

Don't ignore the piercings but try to understand why your daughter is getting them, etc. It is a time of exploration after all.

Moonbeam · 09-08-2014 11:44am

my kids are only small but my rule will be no tongue piercings and no nipple piercings but I don't mind the rest but anything except ears and belly button when they have finished school.
I had eyebrow (it came out surfing) belly button (had to come out on 1st pregnancy) ears x 6 each and no tattoos.
I tend to wear earrings x2 now and that is it.

make sure she gets it done in a reputable place.

Penny Tration · 09-08-2014 11:26pm

Like the posters who say they have piercings but no tattoos - I'm the exact opposite. Five tattoos and not a single piercing, not even my ears :pac: one doesn't necessarily lead to the other.

Pick your battles. The more concerning part for me would be where she gets them done. If they use a piercing gun, do NOT let her near the plac. Piercings done in a good studio are expensive, because the piercers are experts, and give great aftercare advice.

For a lot of piercings, most studios require you to be over 16 (18 for nipple and genital), and if under 18, have a guardian present.

Piercings can be taken out for interviews/jobs.

I'd suggest you and your husband read up on aftercare, ensure she's going to a good studio, and leave her be, within reason.

Most piercings don't affect jobs, anyway. My tattoos are visible every day in work, usually 2 of them, sometimes all 5, depending on which uniform I wear, and it hasn't stopped me from ever getting a job (or promotions). Don't be worrying too much

PuddingHead · 19-08-2014 9:28am

Got my ears done when i was 7, again at 13, lip at 17, tongue at 18, nose at 21.

I have tattoos, but they're because I like them, not because piercing is a gateway body art :P

I think advise her that you like them, but perhaps discuss facial piercings, you can be left with nasty scars if your body rejects them

Discourage / ignore piercings?

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