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is marriage pointless these days?

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135

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  • Options
    #62
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    Dagon wrote:
    I can't believe nobody has mentioned the one thing that will solve all these problems about marriage being unfair to men, ball and chain, etc.?

    Pre-nuptials - simple as!

    There you go, solves all the problems just like that!

    But how legally binding are they really if challenged?
    They are as useless as the paddywagon in space, as they have no legal basis in this country!!


  • Options
    #63
    JohnnyStones
    Closed Accounts Posts: 306 ✭✭JohnnyStones


    event wrote:
    'oh the bitter' more like


    No event, i think he's just being realistic,
    Just check the worldwide divorce rates-and the majority of the time it's the women that come out with the better "half" of the financial settlement.


  • Options
    #64
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    limklad wrote:
    Mostly (al lot on the side of females)

    Nope both persons gain rights from being married.

    Spouses become each other's next of kin,
    You can live with some one for 40 years but if you are not married thier 'family' get the rights to thier body and how it is buried.
    If you are not married you can be not allowed in hospital or be allowed to have a say in the medical treatment and care of your partner.
    inheritance and pension rights,
    guardianship rights,
    discounts on insurance,
    being able to claim of each other's prsi contributions,

    Getting married is not financial suicide in many ways it make a lot more finical sense getting separated /divorced can be financial suicide.


    limklad wrote:
    What Rights? and Yes it is a contract, an unfair one to Honest Males nowadays, If a wife leaves a family home and abandon the child to go live with her fling and leave with the husband to look after the child on his own and then a few years later she goes for full custody and wins. This has happens all over the world. Again, Explain what rights!

    That does not happen all over the world, only in countries like this one who do not put the child first and don't have real custody guidelines.


  • Options
    #65
    ambro25
    Registered Users Posts: 5,994 ✭✭✭ambro25


    Ninja_scrotum wrote:
    A very rare sight is two wedded 40yr olds holding hands....

    I'm still a bit shy of 40, more so than my Mrs (I iz toyboy :D), but we hold hands or I'll have my arm around whenever we're out - be that in Grafton St, Dundrum SC or Marlay Park. Oh yeah... been married 11 years, together 14, one kid.

    And we've been through th1ck & sh1t a few times. Never between us, I'll gladly say, but when dealing with some of the very, very bad sh1t life throws your way now and then. The kind of bad sh1t that easily kills relationships these days, that involve money, or career, or cultural shock (coming over here was kinda hard on her system, getting better now :) ). But the same rule of thumb applies for marriages as it does for friendships: you find out who your true friends are at your most desperate hour. And your wife (or husband, for female readers) should be the very best friend of them all.


  • Options
    #66
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    Thaedydal wrote:
    Nope both persons gain rights from being married.

    Spouses become each other's next of kin,
    You can live with some one for 40 years but if you are not married thier 'family' get the rights to thier body and how it is buried.
    “A personal will” with clauses if you want has legal basis which overrides any family rights by passing those right to the partner. I have changed my next of kin from my parents to my Aunt, as I do not trust my parents. I was told, I could make anyone my next of kin, and getting my “will or Living Will detail. You solicitor can do this. Believe me this will save a lot of problems with problematic family.
    Thaedydal wrote:
    If you are not married you can be not allowed in hospital or be allowed to have a say in the medical treatment and care of your partner.
    Again, by having your partner names as your next of kin and in writing with your next of kin and to have say in your medical treatment. A living will will grant them access.
    Thaedydal wrote:
    discounts on insurance,
    I found out last year, that a person I work with manage to combine her and her partner insurance together under one insurance policy as the same price as a married couple. They are too moving with the times.
    Thaedydal wrote:
    inheritance and pension rights,
    being able to claim of each other's prsi contributions,
    The Government started the proceed of splitting up these rights one bit at a time. For example the Tax credits, they used to be shared/transferable. Slowly they comes up with the times and split these too as many people are living together are not married, and with divorce numbers are increasing in this counter
    Thaedydal wrote:
    guardianship rights,
    Guardianship rights can be shared equally between parents provide the Female sign a legal guardianship forms. http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1998/en/si/0005.html
    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples/access_to_children_and_unmarried_couples
    If she leaves the marriage, she takes the rights with her. That leaves the male are her mercy, which is very bad on the male perfective.
    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/separation-and-divorce/separation_and_divorce_children
    Again signing of the Guardianship form will change this.
    There is more information here, http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples/legal_guardianship_and_unmarried_couples
    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples
    Thaedydal wrote:
    Getting married is not financial suicide in many ways it make a lot more finical sense getting separated /divorced can be financial suicide.
    Provide that the marriage is going well, once divorce sets in it is financial suicide
    It is small compare to cost of divorce, when both partners do not agree. The emotional trauma for everyone involve is bad and that include kids in which people (especially women) use as a weapon against their partner!!
    Thaedydal wrote:
    That does not happen all over the world, only in countries like this one who do not put the child first and don't have real custody guidelines.
    From Australia, New Zealand, North America to Europe, Are you tell me There not all over the world. Many countries have change their laws to deal with these issues. That why New Zealand gives partners equal status of married/ For example if you (a foreigner) are living with New Zealand citizen, you can live in New Zealand with him/her with a partner visa, provide you proven your are both a couple. In North America, UK and europe, they have pre-nuptials.
    The more research I do, and put all of the Positive and negative side by side, you will still find that the Male get a very raw deal.


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    #67
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    I just found out a "living Will" have no legal status but your "Final will" has, by carefully stating it you will have. It is still considers your wishes beyond your families concern.


  • Options
    #68
    tj-music.com
    Closed Accounts Posts: 981 ✭✭✭tj-music.com


    I would have to consult my two ex-wives to answer that question conclusively :D


  • Options
    #69
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    limklad wrote:
    For example the Tax credits, they used to be shared/transferable. Slowly they comes up with the times and split these too as many people are living together are not married, and with divorce numbers are increasing in this counter.
    What is your point here, hard to understand.Tax Credits are still transferrable for married/separated couples? depending on what is most advantageous.
    limklad wrote:
    Guardianship rights can be shared equally between parents provide the Female sign a legal guardianship forms. http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1998/en/si/0005.html
    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples/access_to_children_and_unmarried_couples
    Still requires the mothers permission.
    limklad wrote:
    If she leaves the marriage, she takes the rights with her. That leaves the male are her mercy, which is very bad on the male perfective.
    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/separation-and-divorce/separation_and_divorce_children
    Again signing of the Guardianship form will change this.
    No, a father is an automatic guardian by virtue of marriage. Not so with unmarried fathers. There is no form to sign.
    [/quote]

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



  • Options
    #70
    justsomebloke
    Registered Users Posts: 10,407 ✭✭✭✭justsomebloke


    yes marriage for the most part is pointless the only time I would say that marriage is a must is when you have kids, as otherwise if things go sour the father is ****ed legally if he isn't married, but that is a whole different thread


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    #71
    Black Swan
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 47,223 CMod ✭✭✭✭Black Swan


    Does marriage lose its point after awhile, thereby becoming pointless?;)


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    #72
    Drift
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,395 ✭✭✭Drift


    Blue_Lagoon wrote:
    Does marriage lose its point after awhile, thereby becoming pointless?;)

    I think the point is only lost of the point receptor becomes blunt :D


  • Options
    #73
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    Seanies32 wrote:
    What is your point here, hard to understand.Tax Credits are still transferrable for married/separated couples? depending on what is most advantageous.

    Short term gain for a few measly euro, compare to long term pain, in what you pay if your wife divorce you (Even if she in the wrong). You lose no matter what.
    Seanies32 wrote:
    Still requires the mothers permission.
    ]

    What Planet are you on I already stated this, she has to sign the guardianship form to allow you this right, otherwise you have none!

    Seanies32 wrote:
    No, a father is an automatic guardian by virtue of marriage. Not so with unmarried fathers. There is no form to sign.
    [/quote]
    Again, What Planet are you on I already stated this and even gave you the links to prove it. Here it is again since you fail to read it last time
    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/married-couples/guardianship_status_of_fathers
    &
    http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1998/en/si/0005.html

    You do not have to marry her to gain Guardianship rights over the child. Otherwise the Marriage is based on control over you, and you become second fiddle in the relationship, and it is doom to fail once the child becomes 18.
    and another link
    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples/legal_guardianship_and_unmarried_couples


  • Options
    #74
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    For me the point of marraige is to display mutually respect, to set a foundation of trust and commitment for your own family and to assume a part in each other families.

    I don't particularly care if I never get married, because I don't think a piece of paper affects the important things (I also don't think it precipates a personality transplant) but I simply wouldn't devote my life, my time, my energy, my womb and compromise my independant goals, for someone who wouldn't be prepared to marry me.
    Especially if their reasons included everyone cheats and ****s each over so obviously you/I will, or I want to make sure you won't get your greasy mitts on my cash to feed our sprogs if we do split, or I don't see myself being attracted to you in 10 years times so I'm planning on trading you in.

    Also I find all these various notions of contracts and legal ways to circumvent the problems of not being legally married a bit pointless.
    Surely it is quicker and cheaper to pop into the registry office, you don't have to make a big deal about getting married.


  • Options
    #75
    K-9
    Registered Users Posts: 43,311 ✭✭✭✭K-9


    limklad wrote:
    Short term gain for a few measly euro, compare to long term pain, in what you pay if your wife divorce you (Even if she in the wrong). You lose no matter what.

    I'd go the other way and say tax credits should be based on children.

    Obviously this wont apply if there's no children but Eg. after divorce both parents can claim the one parent tax credit. So in fact the Revenue are losing when couples divorce, they're in effect giving 2 Married tax credits to the one couple! Whereas before they gave one.

    It's a common misconception limklad that Revenue favours marriage, when, by the same logic you could say Revenue favours Seperation.

    Actually, they favour One parent Families, because:

    Father of OP family is entitled to Tax Credit of €3,520
    Mother " " " " " " " " " " €3,520
    Married Family €3,520

    If you want to bring Revenue into it, they favour One parent and Divorced couples!
    limklad wrote:
    What Planet are you on I already stated this, she has to sign the guardianship form to allow you this right, otherwise you have none!

    I stated somewhere, Donegal are AI champions as they're the best team in Ireland. They won the League! Doesn't mean I'm right.

    Actually mothers do not have to sign anything regarding guardianship! Married fathers get guardianship automatically. Unmarried mothers do not have to sign any form regarding guardianship, only by consent. If she doesn't consent, the father applies to court.

    Also as I'll go on to prove, married/divorced fathers don't need the mother to sign anything!They are automatically guardians. Even unmarried fathers can get it awarded by the court, against the mothers wishes.
    limklad wrote:
    Again, What Planet are you on I already stated this and even gave you the links to prove it. Here it is again since you fail to read it last time
    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/married-couples/guardianship_status_of_fathers
    &
    http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/1998/en/si/0005.html
    No, I'm on Earth and have the internet and have an active interest in this area that you seem to know so much about. Actually, I did read it and as I knew you gave incorrect information, to a dad on another thread in personal issues, I'll post my link:
    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/separation-and-divorce/separation_and_divorce_childrenp://

    Wasn't going to post this on AH as well, but seen as you took that tone there you are:
    Married parents are automatically joint guardians of their children. Neither separation nor divorce changes this. (A father who is not married to the mother of his child does not have automatic guardianship rights in relation to that child. You can read more about the Guardianship status of fathers in Ireland in our separate document on this subject).
    limklad wrote:
    You do not have to marry her to gain Guardianship rights over the child.

    Actually, if you're an unmarried father that is the only way you're guarenteed guardianship, so wrong again! Otherwise it's at the mothers or judges discretion, so you are slightly wrong again.Obviously, I wouldn't advise marriage just to get guardianship, but your post is incorrect. It's the only way it's guarenteed without a mother or judges consent. If the mother and indeed judge refused, you'd have to marry her to be guarenteed it.
    limklad wrote:
    Otherwise the Marriage is based on control over you, and you become second fiddle in the relationship, and it is doom to fail once the child becomes 18.
    and another link
    http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/birth-family-relationships/unmarried-couples/legal_guardianship_and_unmarried_couples
    Actually, for once, I don't particularly disagree with you there.

    Guardianship is not a reason to get married. It can be easily awarded, and in the vast majority of cases, is, awarded outside of marriage.

    I do agree you have an interest in this area, and I completely welcome it, please do some more research. Citizens Information isn't always a reliable source! And yes, I know, I'm after posting a link there, but I'm not looking for information to suit me! After a lot of interest and research in this area, I know this is correct. If you can post a link from somewhere beside Citizen Information, feel free, and I'll see if I can agree to it.

    Anyway, enuff said, btw, what planet do you live on?

    Mad Men's Don Draper : What you call love was invented by guys like me, to sell nylons.



  • Options
    #76
    NextSteps
    Registered Users Posts: 984 ✭✭✭NextSteps


    Elessar wrote:
    Yes it's pointless. Also financial suicide.

    I cant help but snigger when I hear one of my co-workers calling his fiance every f*cking hour cos they're just so much in love. Wait until your 40 mate, you'll hardly have a conversation with your wife, if you're still married that is, which you wont be after one of you cheats or falls "out of love" with the other and everything becomes routine. The you loose the house, your car, your money and your life.

    Oh the naive.

    Recently dumped?


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    #77
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    Seanies32 wrote:
    [/color]
    I'd go the other way and say tax credits should be based on children.

    Obviously this wont apply if there's no children but Eg. after divorce both parents can claim the one parent tax credit. So in fact the Revenue are losing when couples divorce, they're in effect giving 2 Married tax credits to the one couple! Whereas before they gave one.

    It's a common misconception limklad that Revenue favours marriage, when, by the same logic you could say Revenue favours Seperation.

    Actually, they favour One parent Families, because:

    Father of OP family is entitled to Tax Credit of €3,520
    Mother " " " " " " " " " " €3,520
    Married Family €3,520

    If you want to bring Revenue into it, they favour One parent and Divorced couples!
    [/color]
    The revenue/Dept of Finance is discriminating against Single Fathers who are raising Children!!! Court case to be had to force them obtain equal rights as they are in breach of equal rights treaty that they sign up for.
    Seanies32 wrote:
    Actually mothers do not have to sign anything regarding guardianship! Married fathers get guardianship automatically. Unmarried mothers do not have to sign any form regarding guardianship, only by consent. If she doesn't consent, the father applies to court.
    I know this but if you been reading my previous posts you see that i am arguing that you do not have to get married to gain guardianship as most mothers see what benfit to the child rather than themselves. especially when the mother dies or some unfortunate things happen, and the mother is not contactable for some reason and a decision needs to be taken for the child sake.
    Seanies32 wrote:
    Also as I'll go on to prove, married/divorced fathers don't need the mother to sign anything!They are automatically guardians. Even unmarried fathers can get it awarded by the court, against the mothers wishes.
    Again you have proven this for me, another "Thank you", with one exception, Divorce fathers are no longer "married" therefore "unmarried". Again the devil is in the detail, and it is that trap that people fall into.
    Seanies32 wrote:
    Actually, if you're an unmarried father that is the only way you're guarenteed guardianship, so wrong again!
    I never said this, What is said is that you do not have to get married to achieve guardianship only when she signs the Guardianship forms, REread all of my post and you will see this.
    Seanies32 wrote:
    Otherwise it's at the mothers or judges discretion,
    I have already state this.
    Seanies32 wrote:
    so you are slightly wrong again.Obviously, I wouldn't advise marriage just to get guardianship, but your post is incorrect.
    Where did I state this, again you are wrong and jumping to assumptions about what I have already said.
    Seanies32 wrote:
    It's the only way it's guarenteed without a mother or judges consent. If the mother and indeed judge refused, you'd have to marry her to be guarenteed it.
    Now you are susgesting the the father has to marry the mother to gain guardianship. This can only happen if you marry her before the child was born, otherwise you do not have automatic guardianship as you are not married at the time of birth.
    Seanies32 wrote:

    Actually, for once, I don't particularly disagree with you there.
    This thread is full of contentd that you disagree with me more than once!!
    Seanies32 wrote:
    Guardianship is not a reason to get married.
    I never said it was a reason but a method of achieve it but not the only one.
    Seanies32 wrote:
    It can be easily awarded, and in the vast majority of cases, is, awarded outside of marriage.
    I aggree with you here and post the statistics to prove it and again you have proven my point that guardianship can be awarded without getting married, therefore marriage is pointless and child guardianship and custody can be shared outside marriage.

    Most people are smart enough to know if you do not get on be civil (you do not have to like) your child father/mother to raise a child.
    Because the only Judge that really matters is the Child, for they grow up mighty fast and can burn you for your misdeeds as they know you best and eventually find out the truth.
    Seanies32 wrote:
    what planet do you live on?
    touchy, touchy getting emotional here are you.

    To wrap thing up. marriage is pointless for every other reason with the one main exception, that both partners going into it are in love and truely respect each other, otherwise it is cleary pointless and expect it to be doomed.

    The devil is always in the detail in which most people overlook.


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    #78
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    wow tha tis some drum you have there limklad.
    cleary for you marraige is pointless.


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    #79
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    Thaedydal wrote:
    wow tha tis some drum you have there limklad.
    Nothing more or less than you have done in the past
    Thaedydal wrote:
    cleary for you marraige is pointless.

    Nope! I never said that.

    Marriage is about both couples been committed in supporting, loving and respecting each other. Getting married is to display this or show off is there is a better term nowadays, but as most of us know, people make bad mistakes when choosing their life partner and or even think that marrying the other is the solution or temporary solution to their problems whenever it is self insecurity or not.

    Anything less than commitment to your partner, then it is pointless.

    unless your are a foreigner and what to gain legal status in this country!!

    I just love a good debate, every now and again. Don't You?


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    #80
    cance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,562 ✭✭✭cance


    wow limklad, i can only hope i never share your opinions. I'm engaged to be married and havent a single doubt in my mind.

    and stop changing the f*ckin text colour of all of your posts to black, its not neccessary and it screws with the cloud theme!


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    #81
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    cance wrote:
    wow limklad, i can only hope i never share your opinions.
    I never expect anyone to share if they do not want to.
    cance wrote:
    I'm engaged to be married and havent a single doubt in my mind.
    Good for you, but Are you sure? Innocent love, how it managed to cloud over the cracks. :eek:

    If you were you would not have the following insecurity!! :D
    cance wrote:
    and stop changing the f*ckin text colour of all of your posts to black, its not neccessary and it screws with the cloud theme!
    It must be you browser I do not see it. As my text is in black.:p

    My girlfriend is laughing while reading these posts, she tell me how easy it is to rub other people noses the wrong way, just by having an opinion or people misreading other people posts and attacking them as she puts it when they responds.

    I want her or any future prospective wife to know all my faults and accept that and vica versa.


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    #82
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    limklad wrote:
    I just love a good debate, every now and again. Don't You?

    I do like a good dicussion, there is a difference but neither can be had with a troll.

    Sounds more like you just enjoy arguing for the sake of it and provoking a reaction and around here we call that trolling.


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    #83
    cance
    Registered Users Posts: 1,562 ✭✭✭cance


    limklad wrote:
    I never expect anyone to share if they do not want to.

    Good for you, but Are you sure? Innocent love, how it managed to cloud over the cracks. :eek:

    If you were you would not have the following insecurity!! :D
    It must be you browser I do not see it. As my text is in black.:p

    A: i find your posting immature and irrational, troll alert tbh.
    B: its not a feckin browser issue i can see your COLOR tags when i quote you.


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    #84
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    Thaedydal wrote:
    I do like a good dicussion, there is a difference but neither can be had with a troll.

    Sounds more like you just enjoy arguing for the sake of it and provoking a reaction and around here we call that trolling.
    There is a difference between 1/ deliberate provoking and 2/ people misreading other posts and getting emotionally upset about other people opinions.

    People who get upset accuse others of trolling just because other have an opinions, and do not want others to defend themselves legitimately. It is easy to get emotional attach to one side and accuse the other of trolling when they troll themselves, especially when they have the power to do so.

    If I ever troll, I will make it far more obvious with black and white context, with no gray areas, where everybody can agree it is, like directly insulting/attacking the other posts with obscene/degrading words such as from another quote
    "Your are a load of b*l*x and don't deserve to live, your ma is a wh*re "
    etc.[/COLOR]
    I could many examples throughout "After Hours" of trolling that have been tolerated that exists in grey areas. the grey area include friendly slagging each other
    but this is off subject from the Op Post submitted.


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    #85
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    cance wrote:
    A: i find your posting immature and irrational, troll alert tbh.
    Same for you,as you have proven inmature in dealing with a friendly comment and then try to ban others when you do not agree, That trolling in itself


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    #86
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    limklad wrote:
    People who get upset accuse others of trolling just because other have an opinions, and do not want others to defend themselves legitimately. It is easy to get emotional attach to one side and accuse the other of trolling when they troll themselves, especially when they have the power to do so.

    Ah bless you think you managed to emotionally upset me.

    You are entitle to your opinions and I am entitle to think that you are wrong and throwing the baby out with the bath water.

    limklad wrote:
    If I ever troll, I will make it far more obvious with black and white context, with no gray areas, where everybody can agree it is, like directly insulting/attacking the other posts with obscene/degrading words such as from another quote etc.

    If you think that trolling is limited to insulting/attacking and obscene/degrading then you would be wrong.


    http://www.urban75.com/Mag/troll.html
    Section 7: The Successful Troll

    A good example of troll success is the famous "How I Envy American Students" troll.

    This troll was written by an English brick-layer posing as an American student. He correctly posted it to all the college news- groups and then left american students to do all the work spreading it.

    His troll ran for over a year, it is known to have generated in excess of 3,500 responses (an average of 1 response every 160 minutes for a whole year) and the greatest coup of all was when an innocent american student lost not only her internet account but was also expelled from high school for abuse of the computer systems.


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    #87
    CathyMoran
    Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 7,458 Mod ✭✭✭✭CathyMoran


    OK, I admit I am a newly wed - but I was with my husband for 9 years on and off before I married him. In the end it came down to me wanting to have him officially as family in front of the state, God and our family and friends. There is something special in being married to your soul mate.


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    #88
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    Thaedydal wrote:
    You are entitle to your opinions and I am entitle to think that you are wrong
    I don't have any problem with you or anyone making opinions and we had this discussion before. I think it was in "personnel issues" and you had personnel issues with me! as I disagree with you and as you and the OP had degrading assumptions about certain group of people. You basically slated a group with the same tarnish brush because of the fowl mistakes of the few, and I used your own quotes to prove it.
    You continued to defend the abusive person who was trolling that group because they ask for a piece of paper of proof and he went head over heals because of it with insults galore. After his kid was accepted, when they return to ask, he humbled a small bit and still continued to troll. So my experience with you is that you take it personally and threaten to ban me, claiming that I was trolling and off subject but I quoted your posts and the First OP post to show I was not off topic and because I questioned His parental skills.
    Thaedydal wrote:
    and throwing the baby out with the bath water.
    :eek:


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    #89
    echosound
    Registered Users Posts: 773 ✭✭✭echosound


    When it comes to the question of whether marriage is pointless or not depends on how the two people entering into a marriage view it - if they think it is indeed pointless, then it will be to them, bringing the various problems that previous posters have mentioned. If they respect the idea, then it more often than not will work out well as they will work at the marriage.

    Personally speaking, I didn't see the point of marriage when I was younger, sure "it was only a bit of paper" etc. However, my view changed when I met a person with whom I could see the "point" of marriage. It was a declaration that from that point on, the most important person in each of our lives would be each other, with all the rights and responsibilities that comes with that.

    We didn't go for a big fancy church wedding putting ourselves into debt as for us, it was a personal commitment to each other, shared with family and friends, and neither of us could bear the thought of getting married in a church anyway for (anti) religious reasons.
    For those saying that marriage is a big waste of money for a day out, the actual ceremony in a registry office costs somewhere in the region of 50 quid. Anything over and above this is purely down to the couple and what they fancy spending to have a day out celebrating, and whether they intend to "impress" people with their show. We did spend a few K on our wedding, but nowhere in the region of "regular" weddings, it was more like 5k including a good honeymoon, and was all paid for beforehand through savings rather than through loans to be paid afterwards.

    And again from a personal view, I did find it changed things - for the better. Even in the run up to the day, I didn't think it would too change much except I could refer to the other half as my "husband" rather than boyfriend or partner, but it has crystallised everything for me (and himself) - you have declared your position to all and sundry, as a "team", who plan on working out a path through life together for better or for worse (that's in the vows like!).

    I think that unfortunately in this day and age everything is about immediate gratification, and a very selfish culture of "look after number one" and this is why so many marriages fail - at the first hint of trouble, people cut and run as they just couldn't be bothered working anything out, or sticking through a rough patch, everything has to be perfect immediately or it's seeya I'm onto the next distraction that will suit me. A pity for sure.


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    #90
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    limklad wrote:
    I don't have any problem with you or anyone making opinions and we had this discussion before. I think it was in "personnel issues" and you had personnel issues with me! as I disagree with you and as you and the OP had degrading assumptions about certain group of people. You basically slated a group with the same tarnish brush because of the fowl mistakes of the few, and I used your own quotes to prove it.

    There is not a forum on this site called personnel issues,
    there is one called personal issues.

    I don't know you as a person so I don't have personal issues with you.
    limklad wrote:
    You continued to defend the abusive person who was trolling that group because they ask for a piece of paper of proof and he went head over heals because of it with insults galore. After his kid was accepted, when they return to ask, he humbled a small bit and still continued to troll.

    Oh you are referencing a thread in parenting, clearly you don't have your 'facts' straight.
    limklad wrote:
    So my experience with you is that you take it personally and threaten to ban me, claiming that I was trolling and off subject but I quoted your posts and the First OP post to show I was not off topic and because I questioned His parental skills.

    The above paragraph is classic trollish behaviour, you are muddying the waters in this thread referencing something that did not happen in this forum or in fact did not happen.

    If you want to raise an issue about my action as a mod you are free to do so via pm or the feedback forum, I am not going to rise to you baiting me here.

    Yes there are issues in regards to parental right and the rights of children and the fact that an amicable break up where parents respect each other and do what is best for thier children seem to be unheard of in this country but that should not be a reason to say marriage is pointless.


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    #91
    limklad
    Registered Users Posts: 1,980 ✭✭✭limklad


    Thaedydal wrote:
    Yes there are issues in regards to parental right and the rights of children and the fact that an amicable break up where parents respect each other and do what is best for thier children seem to be unheard of in this country but that should not be a reason to say marriage is pointless.
    Using Parental rights as reason to get married only cause other problems, especially when they fall in love with other people therefore they are not commit to each other in the first place, therefore it is pointless!


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