Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

New girl, really nervous. Don't wanna appear desperate-ladies help!!!

Options
  • 21-05-2008 7:57pm
    #1
    coolbeans
    Registered Users Posts: 3,036 ✭✭✭


    Hey all,
    Never done this before but I've met a girl on my postgrad course who I really like. When I say really like I mean really, really like. To cut a long story short I asked her out twice: before and shortly after Christmas. Both times she politely declined but it has since come to my attention that she likes me. After a tortuous process I finally kissed her yesterday and she asked me out. I'd kind of made it clear that I wasn't going to ask again (didn't want to look like a stalker type) so that's why she asked me.
    We're breaking up for summer and won't be back 'til September. I'm terribly, terribly shy and don't know how to carry this forward. We'd both like to see each other but apart from the fact that I live 100miles away from her I really go into quiet nervous mode when I'm around her which can be awkward. She can be extremely shy too and difficult to read.
    We haven't even gone out properly either and I don't want to come on too strong as she said back in September that she likes the single life after her last breakup. Basically I've never felt for a girl like this and I don't wanna mess this up. What do I do? Should I watch "What Women Want"?:o
    Some advice please!


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    eddie.fandango
    Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭eddie.fandango


    coolbeans wrote: »
    Hey all,
    Never done this before but I've met a girl on my postgrad course who I really like. When I say really like I mean really, really like. To cut a long story short I asked her out twice: before and shortly after Christmas. Both times she politely declined but it has since come to my attention that she likes me. After a tortuous process I finally kissed her yesterday and she asked me out. I'd kind of made it clear that I wasn't going to ask again (didn't want to look like a stalker type) so that's why she asked me.
    We're breaking up for summer and won't be back 'til September. I'm terribly, terribly shy and don't know how to carry this forward. We'd both like to see each other but apart from the fact that I live 100miles away from her I really go into quiet nervous mode when I'm around her which can be awkward. She can be extremely shy too and difficult to read.
    We haven't even gone out properly either and I don't want to come on too strong as she said back in September that she likes the single life after her last breakup. Basically I've never felt for a girl like this and I don't wanna mess this up. What do I do? Should I watch "What Women Want"?:o
    Some advice please!


    You aren't going to like this, i'm sure I will be villified for it.. but here goes.

    Dude, you asked this girl out twice and she declined. When you showed disinterest, she then decided she wanted what she couldn't have. My advice is plain and simple: go out and meet 10 other women as soon as you can. If you can talk to 10 other women, some casual texting, some coffee, maybe sneak a kiss ;) , then decide if this girl is still worth the anguish. Don't get yourself in a mess over this girl, it should be fun. Feel free to pm if you want some more advice.


  • Options
    #3
    suzy5978
    Registered Users Posts: 37 ✭suzy5978


    excellent advice eddie.op i always go with my gut feelings and im feelin shes just not that into you.now i could be wrong(i sometimes am):)take it easy,play the field.If she is into you let her do a bit of running-youve already asked her out twice,so pull back a little and see what happens.but even if she does start showing interest-id still be a little cautious just until you know what her true feeling are.hope this helps!


  • Options
    #4
    coolbeans
    Registered Users Posts: 3,036 ✭✭✭coolbeans


    Lads I'd never even thought about it that way. Any other input is more than welcome but I reckon the two of ye have nailed it on the head.:cool:


  • Options
    #5
    eddie.fandango
    Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭eddie.fandango


    Glad to be of help man. I hope everything works out for ya, it always does in the end.


  • Options
    #6
    Beruthiel
    Moderators, Social & Fun Moderators Posts: 42,362 Mod ✭✭✭✭Beruthiel


    coolbeans wrote: »
    After a tortuous process I finally kissed her yesterday and she asked me out. I'd kind of made it clear that I wasn't going to ask again (didn't want to look like a stalker type) so that's why she asked me.

    So, have you had that date yet?
    Even though the guys above have a point, if you haven't gone on the date yet, then why not give her one last chance before you go playing the field?
    As for how to behave, just be yourself, at the end of the day, she either likes who you are or she doesn't.
    No point trying to be something you're not.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #7
    Irishcrx
    Registered Users Posts: 2,861 ✭✭✭Irishcrx


    Going to agree here, she said no twice, once in my book is enough. The ladies love what they can't have example.

    I liked a girl decided to ask her out for a drink, she said no thanks, thing's went on she seemed into it a few weeks later I again mentioned it, again no due to this that and the other. I said "Grand, well I'm not going to ask again just forget it and we be friends yeah" she said yeah and in the next two weeks I ended up on two dates one with a girl she knew and suddenly guess who's asking me out?...I said no thanks you had your chance and it's the same now.

    Point is don't hold all your hopes on this girl, take it slow, play it zen she refused twice don't rush into it, women are strange people, they think much differant, harder to read etc. Good luck.


  • Options
    #8
    RedXIV
    Registered Users Posts: 8,406 ✭✭✭RedXIV


    Hate saying this to people OP but being shy is going to get you nowhere in life and you need to learn to be far more outgoing. Now while i'd be sceptical of a girl that declined me twice, if things are going good then you can at least give it a shot. I assume you're both going to be working over the summer which means you'll have access to cash. just because yuo're 100 miles away, doesn't mean you can't meet up for weekends of fun or even a holiday together. but you'll have to be assertive to pull them off and trust me, you'll come across as a better person if you do.

    Best of luck

    Red


  • Options
    #9
    Canis Lupus
    Registered Users Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    God boards always makes dating girls (and vice versa) into some sort of tactical espionage type of game.

    She kissed you. She asked you out. Go on a date and see what happens. If it doesn't work then move on, your life will not be destroyed.

    IT........IS.......NOT.........ROCKET............SCIENCE...............


  • Options
    #10
    Canis Lupus
    Registered Users Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    Double post as well but if you're breaking up for the summer it kinda changes things but sure why not see if you can get some sexy time beforehand?


  • Options
    #11
    eddie.fandango
    Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭eddie.fandango


    Canis Lupus wrote: »
    Double post as well but if you're breaking up for the summer it kinda changes things but sure why not see if you can get some sexy time beforehand?

    This has a lot less to do with "sexy time" and alot more with OP struggling with his confidence and inability to assert himself with women. Like I said earlier, why dwell on this one girl when there are a dozen, 100, 10'000 other women out there who are just waiting to be met.


  • Advertisement
  • Options
    #12
    Canis Lupus
    Registered Users Posts: 9,893 ✭✭✭Canis Lupus


    Everything has to do with sex :D


  • Options
    #13
    eddie.fandango
    Closed Accounts Posts: 151 ✭✭eddie.fandango


    Exactly! Thats why OP is gonna forget about this chick and go meet dozens of others!


  • Options
    #14
    coolbeans
    Registered Users Posts: 3,036 ✭✭✭coolbeans


    Canis Lupus wrote: »
    God boards always makes dating girls (and vice versa) into some sort of tactical espionage type of game.

    She kissed you. She asked you out. Go on a date and see what happens. If it doesn't work then move on, your life will not be destroyed.

    IT........IS.......NOT.........ROCKET............SCIENCE...............

    It's amazing how the simple stuff escapes me. Anyway keep the opinions coming. It'd be nice to draw from a broad spectrum of advice.
    Thanks peeps.:confused:


Advertisement