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Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    would you do it now?

    Nah, no suicidal thoughts today.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    cloud493 wrote: »
    I can't say I'd ever call the samaritans. Bad as I feel now. But I know its good stuff.

    I called them for the first time this year when I had a plan, a time and a method picked out for how I was going to kill myself. Well, I called them after I woke my wife up in the middle of the night to tell her what was going through my head. I found it good to talk to someone about it, someone anonymous that I didn't have to face again. Each to their own though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    I don't think I could ever call them. or anybody. i'd rather walk into the hospital tbh.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    I don't think I could ever call them. or anybody. i'd rather walk into the hospital tbh.

    Yeah it's not for everyone. Then again, I thought the above too until that night.

    *shrugs*


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    I wouldn't call myself suicidal but at times I do wonder how much longer I can go on like this. I can't picture myself in ten years time still struggling.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 478 ✭✭Kaching


    Jammstar g'way outta that with a personality like yours you're destined for greatness :)


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    jammstarr wrote: »
    I wouldn't call myself suicidal but at times I do wonder how much longer I can go on like this. I can't picture myself in ten years time still struggling.

    Have been suffering on and off for 16 years. It gets easier with time, you learn tricks and tactics for minimising the crap and getting release and relief. One huge one for me, be it for anxiety, depression or psychosis was listening to music (obsessively). Helped get my mind away from the crap for an hour or two, did wonders for me when I was with it enough to manage it (though this wasn't always the case I do confess).

    I look at my mother who was ridden with anxiety and depression in her 20s. Today it's reduced to a murmur of worry now and then. She just found ways to deal with it that worked for her. Life can seem like a fixed state, that things will always be the way they are now, but really it's a lot more fluid and changing than that.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    I constantly compare myself to others - education, job, money, relationships etc. There's so much out there that I've either messed up or missed out on altogether. Just feel like I'm stuck in a rut.


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,030 ✭✭✭neemish


    re: going into hospital............my line manager told me yesterday that if I go back into hospital now, I will be ending my career. I'm so angry! Hard enough to be suicidal without being told that if i deal with it, i wont have a job!

    Friends are also being surprisingly unsupportive....like I'm being weak, self-indulgent and that hospital is just a bad habit.

    and yet again, I managed to get enough energy to be angry. Maybe thats a good sign.

    All i want to do is go to bed and pull the duvet up a bit further.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    neemish wrote: »
    re: going into hospital............my line manager told me yesterday that if I go back into hospital now, I will be ending my career. I'm so angry! Hard enough to be suicidal without being told that if i deal with it, i wont have a job!

    Give these guys a ring and find out your rights: http://www.flac.ie/gethelp/


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    jammstarr wrote: »
    I constantly compare myself to others - education, job, money, relationships etc. There's so much out there that I've either messed up or missed out on altogether. Just feel like I'm stuck in a rut.
    I'm the exact same. No matter what it is, I always feel someone else can do it a million times better.

    Feeling bad today, but at least I've managed to get out of bed. I've an exam at half 12 which is not going to go well, but there's always the repeats I suppose.


  • Registered Users Posts: 46 fintonagirl


    firsly folks just want to thank you all for being so brave and honest and supportive of each other. I have been lurking for a fair while but decided to post for first time today. have been feeling bad for few years, especially so in the last year. Last Autumn went to doctor and was told am mildly depressed/ anxious and for me that feels awful so I can't imagine how painful it must be to feel worse. Saying that I was referred to a psychotherapist and after 3/4 months I'm feeling way worse. Severely isolating myself and self saboaging in terms of work. Off this morning and heading to doctor again now to see what else can be done cos I can't carry on like this, with work anyway - think I'll either quit or be fired. I find I can cope by myself in that nobody sees me being so apathetic and lacking in will to do anything but I can't do it anymore in work... anyone find this and find ways of dealing with it?

    Thanks, take care today


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Listened to the first CD of this this morning: http://itunes.apple.com/ie/album/the-mindful-way-through-depression/id386374565

    It's very good. Hitting exactly the right points here and there for me (as in I can see myself in one or two of the people he's described and can relate to the problems of rumination that Cognitive Therapy puts at the heart of depression).

    Read by one of the authors, this guy: http://webcache.googleusercontent.com/search?q=cache:fVf4zbvXodIJ:en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_D._Teasdale+John+Teasdale&cd=1&hl=en&ct=clnk&gl=ie (can't directly link to wikipedia today!)

    More techy details here: http://www.mrc-cbu.cam.ac.uk/research/emotion/researchtopics/mindfulness.html

    Their website aimed at sufferers (a big ad for their books and technique, be warned!): http://www.mbct.com/

    Overall, I've had this suggested to me in hospital by professionals I trust, I find it helpful overall to me and it's a relatively painless and hassle free thing to be doing in the hope that it might help me. So all good.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    I've an exam at half 12 which is not going to go well, but there's always the repeats I suppose.

    How'd the exam go in the end? :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    I find it quite hard to carry on at times like this :/ like when you feel despair and sadness trying to eat you and take the hope. And I feel like hiding behind my couch. Or hurting myself to make it better. Oh well.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    cloud493 wrote: »
    I find it quite hard to carry on at times like this :/ like when you feel despair and sadness trying to eat you and take the hope. And I feel like hiding behind my couch. Or hurting myself to make it better. Oh well.

    I'm the very same the last day or two - just stuck in a really low place facing a mountain of misery. Is there anything in particular at you?


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    cloud493 wrote: »
    I find it quite hard to carry on at times like this :/ like when you feel despair and sadness trying to eat you and take the hope. And I feel like hiding behind my couch. Or hurting myself to make it better. Oh well.

    Same tonight. Music is the only thing keeping me from descending into the depths at the moment. If I concentrate and listen to it it takes my mind away from the **** that's in it at the moment.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Just a lot of memories I guess. And the loneliness. And the fact I just feel terrible. But, you can only only go up, when you finally reach the bottom I guess.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Just a lot of memories I guess. And the loneliness. And the fact I just feel terrible. But, you can only only go up, when you finally reach the bottom I guess.

    Loneliness and being somewhat socially inept don't go hand in hand it seems :(


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Just a lot of memories I guess. And the loneliness. And the fact I just feel terrible. But, you can only only go up, when you finally reach the bottom I guess.

    The only way is indeed up. The trick is to find some way of getting your mind away from thinking about the loneliness and memories*. Otherwise you just keep digging the hole deeper and deeper.



    *I use music usually. Just sit down, put on something complicated (or whatever) and focus as hard as you can on just listening to it. When your mind wanders back to the bad stuff, refocus on the music. It'll give you some temporary relief and stop the spiral downwards. You can't fail when you're doing this and you can't do it badly so long as you keep bringing your mind back to the music. The mind straying always happens, don't let it bother you.

    Substitute anything for music there, the sensation of breathing, the feeling of doing the washing up, whatever you want so long as it's a sensory experience.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Your quite right. Just haven't that part out yet. I'd like to go back on medication, since I was diagnosed with biploar not long ago. But I haven't plucked up the courage to go back to the doctor.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Your quite right. Just haven't that part out yet. I'd like to go back on medication, since I was diagnosed with biploar not long ago. But I haven't plucked up the courage to go back to the doctor.

    See edit: has some things that have worked for me. I was going into a bad, bad place tonight until I turned the music on.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Actually, just to note, like meds, this kind of meditation/active listening/whatever takes a few weeks to start showing benefits. It seems pointless for a good while then you may start feeling things get a bit easier.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 337 ✭✭girlonfire



    Feeling bad today, but at least I've managed to get out of bed. I've an exam at half 12 which is not going to go well, but there's always the repeats I suppose.

    How did your exam go?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    jammstarr wrote: »
    How'd the exam go in the end? :)
    girlonfire wrote: »
    How did your exam go?

    Thanks for asking guys :) It went pretty badly tbh, but I wasn't expecting anything else. I didn't do a whole lot of study last semester because I was having a hard time with my mood being so low and stuff. I can repeat in August anyway, so it's not that bad.

    You're in Maynooth too, aren't you girlonfire? (Think I saw you post in the forum the other day). How did you get on with the exams?


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Thanks for asking guys :) It went pretty badly tbh, but I wasn't expecting anything else. I didn't do a whole lot of study last semester because I was having a hard time with my mood being so low and stuff. I can repeat in August anyway, so it's not that bad.

    You're in Maynooth too, aren't you girlonfire? (Think I saw you post in the forum the other day). How did you get on with the exams?

    Be sure you're in contact with the Disability Support Service/Office/Whatever in your college. They can be a great help with this kind of thing.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    nesf wrote: »
    Be sure you're in contact with the Disability Support Service/Office/Whatever in your college. They can be a great help with this kind of thing.
    Believe me, they're sick of the sight of me in there :pac: And in my department too. I wouldn't have managed to finish my degree, let alone do a postgrad, without all the help I've received at college with making things less stressful and stuff. They've been unbelievably helpful.

    Nobody should be ashamed to ask people for help if they think they're struggling, that's what they're there for. I used to absolutely detest asking for help, but one day I just had to or god knows what I was going to end up doing.


  • Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Believe me, they're sick of the sight of me in there :pac: And in my department too. I wouldn't have managed to finish my degree, let alone do a postgrad, without all the help I've received at college with making things less stressful and stuff. They've been unbelievably helpful.

    Nobody should be ashamed to ask people for help if they think they're struggling, that's what they're there for. I used to absolutely detest asking for help, but one day I just had to or god knows what I was going to end up doing.

    Good! Too many people with depression feel that they don't deserve help and refuse to seek it out.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Someone said to me in work today(unrelated) people who have depression are just whiners who slit their wrists and cry :mad: silly people.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Someone said to me in work today(unrelated) people who have depression are just whiners who slit their wrists and cry :mad: silly people.
    Some people have no clue whatsoever >_< what a ridiculous thing for them to say!


This discussion has been closed.
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