The Funny Side of Religion

DazMarz · 31-03-2012 6:09am

One of my favourite ones for those do-gooding 'chuggers' who work on commission (they're not even volunteering!!!) for the likes of Concern et al on the streets is to earnestly, and with a total dead-pan straight face, is to shake their hand warmly, say "Jesus loves you" and walk off...

My other dodge was to smile, shrug and say "Pardonneiz moi, m'siuer, je ne pas parle Anglais" appologetically.... of course this backfired incredibly badly on me one day when the chugger in question responded, "Ah, monsieur, je parle Francais formidable! Je requeste un minuit de tu heure" or something to that effect... I then did a Del Boy Trotter on it, mumbled something at him (while looking like a goldfish with its mouth open) and walked sheepishly on.:o

kylith · 31-03-2012 10:35am

vangoz · 31-03-2012 12:08pm

DazMarz wrote: »

One of my favourite ones for those do-gooding 'chuggers' who work on commission (they're not even volunteering!!!) for the likes of Concern et al on the streets is to earnestly, and with a total dead-pan straight face, is to shake their hand warmly, say "Jesus loves you" and walk off...

"Chuggers" for concern don't work on commission...... Anyway meanwhile in the Vatican

CramCycle · 31-03-2012 7:33pm

vangoz wrote: »

"Chuggers" for concern don't work on commission......

Alot of those style of collectors do work on commission, some of them get a base/day rate but they do get a commission for every person who signs up and stays signed up for a minimum time (I think it was 3 months for Bernardos when people I studied with worked for them). Concern maybe different? but most of them are similar. Anyway a topic for another thread, sorry for the OT.

18AD · 01-04-2012 2:29am

pljudge321 · 01-04-2012 2:51pm

420329_10151382371230646_10150142097160646_23382435_1397638857_n.jpg

Not sure which side this one is arguing.

Doc Farrell · 01-04-2012 5:09pm

robindch wrote: »

Euthanasia:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGXSPf9b-xI

More genius from l'onion, well worth a look if you missed it!

Kivaro · 01-04-2012 5:23pm

Doc Farrell wrote: »

More genius from l'onion, well worth a look if you missed it!

I view life as depicted by The Onion in the same realm as life depicted by religion.
Both kinda farcical.

Doc Farrell · 01-04-2012 8:08pm

I think you will find, if you are willing to look calmly and deeply, that there is a great comfort and joy to be found in the Onion.

magicbastarder · 01-04-2012 10:17pm

DazMarz wrote: »

My other dodge was to smile, shrug and say "Pardonneiz moi, m'siuer, je ne pas parle Anglais" appologetically....

try 'sorry, i don't speak english' - it's worked for me a couple of times, the half second delay you get will give you time to get away.
or 'sorry, i actually work for (insert name of charity here)' can help achieve the same effect.

robindch · 01-04-2012 10:35pm

Doc Farrell wrote: »

More genius from l'onion, well worth a look if you missed it!

Notice the brainscan with the phone still stuck to her ear? Nice touch

The Mad Hatter · 02-04-2012 1:58am

magicbastarder wrote: »

try 'sorry, i don't speak english' - it's worked for me a couple of times, the half second delay you get will give you time to get away.
or 'sorry, i actually work for (insert name of charity here)' can help achieve the same effect.

My method: lock eye contact, shake head firmly, maintain eye contact, walk past.

amacachi · 02-04-2012 2:16am

pljudge321 wrote: »

Not sure which side this one is arguing.

Very much pro-religion. We get annoyed when something goes wrong even though God/Jesus/FSM is doing their best to protect us.

Kivaro · 02-04-2012 2:34am

amacachi wrote: »

Very much pro-religion. We get annoyed when something goes wrong even though God/Jesus/FSM is doing their best to protect us.

I don't know.
I mean, look at the size of god in the picture. He's big.
But it looks like a bigger deity is throwing boulders at the poor mortal.
What? There's something bigger than god. I thought that was impossible ... him being all onmi(insert word here) and all.

And another thing: didn't one of the stones make it past god and hit the believer in the head?
Wait a second. That's not supposed to happen. Was god's judgement off? Did he make a mistake?
Which leads to the question: what other mistakes has he made?

So I don't know. Maybe the cartoonist was on our side i.e. the side of reason.

Turtwig · 02-04-2012 2:50am

In 2000 years time there will over 1,000 different atheist denominations disputing the interpretation of that graphic.

kylith · 02-04-2012 10:37am

magicbastarder wrote: »

DazMarz wrote: »

My other dodge was to smile, shrug and say "Pardonneiz moi, m'siuer, je ne pas parle Anglais" appologetically....

try 'sorry, i don't speak english' - it's worked for me a couple of times, the half second delay you get will give you time to get away.
or 'sorry, i actually work for (insert name of charity here)' can help achieve the same effect.

I speak Irish at them. It works a treat

Delirium · 02-04-2012 11:45am

The Mad Hatter · 02-04-2012 11:46am

Kivaro wrote: »

I don't know.
I mean, look at the size of god in the picture. He's big.
But it looks like a bigger deity is throwing boulders at the poor mortal.
What? There's something bigger than god. I thought that was impossible ... him being all onmi(insert word here) and all.

And another thing: didn't one of the stones make it past god and hit the believer in the head?
Wait a second. That's not supposed to happen. Was god's judgement off? Did he make a mistake?
Which leads to the question: what other mistakes has he made?

So I don't know. Maybe the cartoonist was on our side i.e. the side of reason.

God's only perfect when it suits to describe him as such.

fitz0 · 02-04-2012 1:48pm

I've been listening to the rather bizarre Dutch comedian Hans Teeuwen lately and came across this very odd clip. Enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XsQFNRk6EVc

robindch · 02-04-2012 1:58pm

joseph brand wrote: »

I have the music in my head.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Scotland:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LdjY6oy4Y2c

robindch · 02-04-2012 2:44pm

From the "You just can't make this **** up" folder:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-17582542

BBC wrote:

An investigation is under way after indecent images were "inadvertently" shown by a Catholic priest during a presentation at a primary school in County Tyrone. [...] Parents said 16 indecent images of men were displayed. The priest said he had no knowledge of the offending imagery.[...] "He was visibly shaken and flustered," said the parents. "He gave no explanation or apology to the group and bolted out of the room. The co-ordinator and the teachers then continued with the presentation. [...] "Twenty minutes later he returned, he continued with the meeting and wrapped up by saying that the children get lots of money for their Holy Communion and should consider giving some of it to the church."

Cracking picture of Mr Brady too.

Kivaro · 03-04-2012 2:07am

robindch wrote: »

From the "You just can't make this **** up" folder:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-17582542

Cracking picture of Mr Brady too.

What I don't get is this:

16 indecent images of men were displayed

It wasn't an indecent image of 16 men, but 16 indecent images of men.
No wonder he was "flustered" ................ because he never got to present pictures 17 to 32.

Think about it:
Oops! The priest projects an indecent image of a man onto a screen.
Well, that could happen to anyone (right?).
So let's see what the next image looks like?
Yikes! Another indecent image.
Let's try again, and again, and again ........................

ShooterSF · 03-04-2012 2:45am

Kivaro wrote: »

What I don't get is this:

It wasn't an indecent image of 16 men, but 16 indecent images of men.
No wonder he was "flustered" ................ because he never got to present pictures 17 to 32.

Think about it:
Oops! The priest projects an indecent image of a man onto a screen.
Well, that could happen to anyone (right?).
So let's see what the next image looks like?
Yikes! Another indecent image.
Let's try again, and again, and again ........................

Reminds me of :

http://video.adultswim.com/family-guy/an-interesting-class-lesson.html

(Not sure if you can see that without a US proxy but basically a scene from Family guy where the teacher "accidentally" shows a sex tape he and his wife made to the class)