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fathers rights and revengefull xs

  • 17-05-2015 9:46pm
    #1
    Briansammy
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭


    I am a father of two girls from two different mothers,I have a good relationship with my older daughter and I see her on a regular basis but my youngest daughters mother is a nightmare,I am constantly being accused of wrong doing, iv had the gardai calling to me more times over untrue and false claims against me, Iv being to court over access and guardianship and I got it bit she hasn't stuck to it, in fact as a result of every time that I'd drop my daughter home I was falsely accused of what ever random act my x could think of and again gardai. One day I refused to pick my daughter up due to all of this and nobody believing me of the lies she had made up over n over (excluding my family/friends)
    months passed and I was very down and out that this was happin and my two girls didn't see each other. one day I got a letter in the post from tulsa asking me to attend a meeting with them
    wen I got to this meeting they asked do u know why ur here,I said I take it that it's about my daughter....what happined next nearly made me have a stroke with shock...I was being accused of physically hitting my daughter, in them 3 months my x had coached my daughter to say these things...long story short I was 4 months clearing my name,and even at that they just closed it from lack of evidence, which made me feel sick of the thought that yet another lie was carried from my x to tusla,and seeing I'm a male it was all one sided they didn't want to hear anything I said.
    the point of me writing this is
    that iv heard of fathers taken there own lives because of being backed into a corner by a revengeful x and using a child as a weapon
    and right now I understand there pain and suffering all over a bitter x that wants to basically see you die. Rest assured Im not suicidal but I understand why it is happING.
    There is no help nobody to listen or support people like myself.


Comments

  • #2
    Joshua5
    Registered Users Posts: 374 ✭✭Joshua5


    Briansammy wrote: »
    I am a father of two girls from two different mothers,I have a good relationship with my older daughter and I see her on a regular basis but my youngest daughters mother is a nightmare,I am constantly being accused of wrong doing, iv had the gardai calling to me more times over untrue and false claims against me, Iv being to court over access and guardianship and I got it bit she hasn't stuck to it, in fact as a result of every time that I'd drop my daughter home I was falsely accused of what ever random act my x could think of and again gardai. One day I refused to pick my daughter up due to all of this and nobody believing me of the lies she had made up over n over (excluding my family/friends)
    months passed and I was very down and out that this was happin and my two girls didn't see each other. one day I got a letter in the post from tulsa asking me to attend a meeting with them
    wen I got to this meeting they asked do u know why ur here,I said I take it that it's about my daughter....what happined next nearly made me have a stroke with shock...I was being accused of physically hitting my daughter, in them 3 months my x had coached my daughter to say these things...long story short I was 4 months clearing my name,and even at that they just closed it from lack of evidence, which made me feel sick of the thought that yet another lie was carried from my x to tusla,and seeing I'm a male it was all one sided they didn't want to hear anything I said.
    the point of me writing this is
    that iv heard of fathers taken there own lives because of being backed into a corner by a revengeful x and using a child as a weapon
    and right now I understand there pain and suffering all over a bitter x that wants to basically see you die. Rest assured Im not suicidal but I understand why it is happING.
    There is no help nobody to listen or support people like myself.

    Contact Amen.ie for help


  • #3
    tomirs
    Registered Users Posts: 107 ✭✭tomirs


    Go to the judge and request supervised visits with the child and a court appointed guardian ( not a family member off either side or friends ...some one ye both dont know ) ..that will clear a lot up fast and you get to see the child without the mother ..then ask for help for the child with a counselor ...and one for yourself ... you need to talk to someone who understands ...Once you have the order for supervised visitation you go form there ...slowly ,,,one step at a time dont rush the child ...yourself or the child's mother ...everyone is hurting ..so slow it right down and give each other the time to heal ..The child will love you as the father not matter what but is confused and hurting to just in a way you wont understand ...ask the judge for the help ...it is there ...but you most ask :) Best off luck :)


  • #4
    Briansammy
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭Briansammy


    Thanks for ur advice..
    how come I have to suffer supervised access to protect myself from lies.
    Iv being to court est...34 times tru the years
    I know how judges are and the outcomes
    My daughter is suffering here, I have huge concerns for her mental health putting up with what is being said to her.
    it's gone beyond what happins to me now due to lies...I actually don't care anymore my fight is gone..it hurts me tho every second of each day thinking about how hurt my little girl is..N how a person is using her to get to me, its nearly going on now 4 years so how much time do you think she needs??? Do I prepare myself for another 4 years of gardai calling,solicitors letters falsely accusing me of stuff....I actually got the gardai calling to my house accusing me of knocking her down with my car??? I live two hours away from her...no dent in my car!!! And where's her injury? ?? Nowhere to be seen. This is the kind of person I am dealing with.. intelligent mixed with insane thoughts.


  • #5
    tomirs
    Registered Users Posts: 107 ✭✭tomirs


    Its as simple as Do you want to see the child ? Supervised visits requested BY you wont be as bad as you think and wont last as long as court appointed ones .STOP going back wards ..think off the further ... give it a go for the child NOT for the mother ...as the mother wont have a say in it this time ...You are the one requesting the visitation and on the grounds that you were proven innocent off charges but you feel it would be in the child s best interest to start slowly this way and with the court helping you build up the relationship :) It will be YOU making the moves and the court will see that as a good thing and this way you all get help that is needed ... Only other option is cut your ties and hope the child comes and looks you up in 15 years time :(:(:( Id give it another go .... on your terms and on your request it will be better ,,,it will be different :) But at the end off the day the choice is yours :)


  • #6
    Briansammy
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭Briansammy


    tomirs wrote: »
    Its as simple as Do you want to see the child ? Supervised visits requested BY you wont be as bad as you think and wont last as long as court appointed ones .STOP going back wards ..think off the further ... give it a go for the child NOT for the mother ...as the mother wont have a say in it this time ...You are the one requesting the visitation and on the grounds that you were proven innocent off charges but you feel it would be in the child s best interest to start slowly this way and with the court helping you build up the relationship :) It will be YOU making the moves and the court will see that as a good thing and this way you all get help that is needed ... Only other option is cut your ties and hope the child comes and looks you up in 15 years time :(:(:( Id give it another go .... on your terms and on your request it will be better ,,,it will be different :) But at the end off the day the choice is yours :)
    My family and friends see what's going on and want me to walk away..I just can't, but
    You know what..with all that's in my head I never actually taut of what you just said.
    it is very simple...I look for supervised visits on my terms...I was actually afraid to go back to court, but now after a few simple words iv a whole new out look on it.
    then I can take her lies in put them where the sun doesn't shine...and just concentrate on my daughter and not be worrying about what would happin next..I thank you for this advice.ðŸ‘


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  • #7
    tomirs
    Registered Users Posts: 107 ✭✭tomirs


    Whoohoo you got it :D SHE dose not matter ...the past dose not matter The CHILD dose matter and is all that matters :) Take it slow ... dont rush ..find the information out and be sure you have it right :) Leave the past in the past and make the future about you and time with your child ..... Dont give HER the satisfaction off thinking she got you over a barrel :) Dont let the past destroy your hopes for a future ...Keep calm ....work slowly and dont expect things to change over night :) It will take time BUT will be worth it :) Best off luck to you :)


  • #8
    Briansammy
    Registered Users Posts: 6 ✭Briansammy


    tomirs wrote: »
    Whoohoo you got it :D SHE dose not matter ...the past dose not matter The CHILD dose matter and is all that matters :) Take it slow ... dont rush ..find the information out and be sure you have it right :) Leave the past in the past and make the future about you and time with your child ..... Dont give HER the satisfaction off thinking she got you over a barrel :) Dont let the past destroy your hopes for a future ...Keep calm ....work slowly and dont expect things to change over night :) It will take time BUT will be worth it :) Best off luck to you :)
    Of course all that ever matters to me is my kids,
    Iv no intension of rushing anything
    the most important thing is for me and my daughter to spend time with eachother......but I'm going to take the bullet out of that gun that my x is holding to my head first☺ by doing exactly what we talked about,it will take time and I will study the ends and outs of it before I move on it, and I know myself and my little girl will come out smiling on the other side☺
    yano sometimes it takes a stranger to actually make a person realise things...even the small things that I over looked and was negative about where in fact it will work out for the best☺
    once again I thank you


  • #9
    irish gent
    Registered Users Posts: 240 ✭✭irish gent


    Hi All, my Sons x Girlfriend is having a baby next month,and she whats him to agree with times to visit when baby arrives at here home..She says take it or leave .My son wants to be part of the childs life but hes be given ultimatums.Her Mother has alot of control over her Daughter.My son has asked me could I go over with him to her house for support. I don't know should I get involved yet. I believe That a Father has no rights in this Country.


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