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I Feel Lost

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  • 02-05-2008 11:09pm
    #1
    smellybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 361 ✭✭


    Hi all

    Has or does anyone just feel lost???

    In the past few months, I've felt overwhelmed with the feelings that you might have experienced at a young age when you got lost. I don't feel invisible and I have my family all around me but I just don't understand where my place in this world is! I'm looking for the gap where my place in this life exists.

    I thought these feelings only arose in the last couple of months but i think they've always been there. when i look back on my life, i can see how i hung onto different things at different times hoping that they would give me some sense of purpose - that they would complete me or fulfill me but they never did. like it was my leaving cert, my degree, a good job, my own house, learning to drive and now i've come to realise that none of that ever gave me the feelings of completeness and fulfilment that i craved for.

    i'm now weighing up the idea of travelling for a year as someone told me they did it on their own and they really learned who they were and what they wanted to accomplish in life. the idea scares me as i'm very much a homeboard but i'm unhappy here as i don't see anything to keep me here.

    this is a very long first entry to a thread but i think i needed to explain it thoroughly.

    anyone ever had these feelings????


Comments

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    #2
    Overheal
    Registered Users Posts: 81,627 ✭✭✭✭Overheal


    i noticed your list doesnt include any relationships


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    #3
    bronte
    Registered Users Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    Definitely op, can relate to that!
    I'm a real goal orientated person too, and when I don't have a big goal to achieve I do tend to feel a bit lost as you say!
    The travelling idea sounds great, if you can afford to go off and explore then do it.
    Look on it as an adventure. You will find what it is that really fulfills you, it's just a matter of discovering what that actually is.
    What are you passionate about? Is there anything that really moves you as a person? Anything you've ever really wanted to do but always put it off or said "yeah, someday..."

    You've clearly worked really hard so far, and achieved a LOT. Now do what you've always wanted to do. :)


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    #4
    smellybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 361 ✭✭smellybiker


    Overheal wrote: »
    i noticed your list doesnt include any relationships

    i was with a guy for seven years - i hung onto him for far longer than i should have. we broke up 2 years ago and i spent the first year trying in vain to get back with him - i only met him recently and we had a good chat - the best chat we ever had since knowing each other. he made me realise why it would have been a huge mistake to get back together, i'm only glad he didn't give in to me....

    but he was just another thing to hold onto - in my head i had him self - employed, our house built, our wedding day planned - our kids named only i forgot to stop and fill him in on all of that. the poor guy never stood a chance - i criticised him for doing the wrong thing and right thing - i was never happy with him - i had expectations of him and our relationship but never once shared them with him!!


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    #5
    smellybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 361 ✭✭smellybiker


    bronte wrote: »
    Definitely op, can relate to that!
    I'm a real goal orientated person too, and when I don't have a big goal to achieve I do tend to feel a bit lost as you say!
    The travelling idea sounds great, if you can afford to go off and explore then do it.
    Look on it as an adventure. You will find what it is that really fulfills you, it's just a matter of discovering what that actually is.
    What are you passionate about? Is there anything that really moves you as a person? Anything you've ever really wanted to do but always put it off or said "yeah, someday..."

    You've clearly worked really hard so far, and achieved a LOT. Now do what you've always wanted to do. :)

    people always remark on how well i've done coz i'm self employed aswell after finishing college 3 years ago but i never feel that any of those things mean as much as people say they do. they made me happy for a limited time and then i look for the next BIG THING.

    i thought it might be just my personality - i get bored easily but that's not it. my problem is that i'm very ambitious - about everything. i had to be the first one of my friends in a long term relationship, had to be the first to buy my own house, learn to drive, be self employed. and after all that is done - i still feel empty. i look at them all happy in their lives - with less achieved than me and im jealous. i don't know where these feelings are coming from.


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    #6
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hope they didn't take the majority advice and hop on a bus sounds like the OP has some very real problems and should stay and deal with them. (So many people on this thread seem to be living out there own imagined fantasies of taking the first train out of here..)

    OP maybe you should see a neuro-psychiatrist, sounds like more than ADHD.


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    #7
    bronte
    Registered Users Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    Hmm.. would be a bit similar myself with the whole ambition thing.
    It's okay to feel discontent every now and then..I look on it as something that gives me the drive to work harder and reach higher the next time (comes in handy in the industry i'm in as tis very competitive)
    For you it's really about finding what it is your heart wants.
    Even if you don't know what that is right now, that's okay, you can find it.
    This stuff happens at different rates for everyone, and it's very easy to compare yourself to your mates etc.
    Try not to do that (I can pretty much guarantee that they're looking at you thinking wish I had what they have)

    Relationships are great, but I find they only really work when you're happy and content going into them.
    Right now ya gotta do some soul searching and find whatever it is that makes you want to wake up in the morning.


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    #8
    smellybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 361 ✭✭smellybiker


    i spose i'm really frustrated coz i don't know what my heart really wants. and when i look back to the last few years, i realise that i've never known what it is that i wanted out of life.

    i moved to galway thinking that move would be the best thing ever for me - instead i was alone, i missed my family and friends and was really quite surprised how it didn't work out. i'm considering going to canada for a year - the nearest time i'd be able to go is december so lot's of time to really think about it and change my mind but i'm afraid that if i do go, that i'll have the same feelings i had in galway only ill be too proud to give in and come home early. i lasted in galway three months even though i hated it after three weeks - stupid pride!!!


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    #9
    bronte
    Registered Users Posts: 11,331 ✭✭✭✭bronte


    There's no shame whatsoever in admitting something isn't working out for you!
    Life is way too short to be worrying what others are thinking and also to stay in a place where you're miserable.
    Maybe give yourself a chance to figure things out before doing anything drastic.


  • Options
    #10
    smellybiker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 361 ✭✭smellybiker


    recently i've been thinking of seeing a counsellor - someone that could help me work through some of these unresolved issues - does anyone know how much they cost??


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