[Czarcasm]

Y'know when you get that urge to eat something just because it's there?


Yeah... that's why I'm not a gynaecologist any more.

[rolliepoley]

How can you tell an Italian with kidney trouble?
He's the one with the rusty zipper and yellow tennis shoes.

[rolliepoley]

Originally Posted by Czarcasm

Y'know when you get that urge to eat something just because it's there?


Yeah... that's why I'm not a gynaecologist any more.

Said Dr Poke'em.

[Czarcasm]

Originally Posted by rolliepoley

Said Dr Poke'em.

"Gotta snatch 'em all!"


Oh wait, that's Pokemon!

My bad

[mfceiling]

Do you know that look women get in their eyes when they really fancy you, and want you to have mad, passionate sex with them right away?













Neither do I...

[Nodster]

did you hear about the gynaecologist who took up DIY?

he papered his hall stairs and landing through his letterbox

[rolliepoley]

A little boy walks into his parents’ room to see his mother on top of his father bouncing up and down. The mother sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen. She quickly dresses and goes to find him and, when the son sees his mother and asks, “What were you and Dad doing?”

The mother replies “Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it.”

“You’re wasting your time,” said the boy.

“Why is that?” asked his Mother, puzzled.

“Well, each time you go out shopping, the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up again!”

[rolliepoley]

There was a little boy about twelve years old who was walking along the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. Eventually, he came upon the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door. When the Madam answered it, she saw the boy and asked what he wanted. He said, “I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I’m not leaving until I get it.”

The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once inside, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked. He asked, “Do any of the girls have any diseases?”

Of course the Madam replied “No”. He said, “I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT’S the girl I want.”

Since the boy was so adamant that he had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right. So, he headed down the hall dragging the squashed frog behind him.

Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam and left. The Madam stopped him and asked, “Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?”

He said, “Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant for dinner and leave me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When my parents get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he’ll jump the baby-sitter’s bones and he’ll catch the disease. Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter’s place, he and Mum will go to bed and have sex and Mom will catch it. In the morning when Dad goes to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mum and catch the disease, and HE’S the son-of-a-bitch who ran over my FROG!”

[rolliepoley]

A huge and very muscular with a tiny head walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, “You know, I’m not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?”

The big guy nods slowly. He’s obviously fielded this question many times and begins to tell the story of how, one day he was hunting when I got lost in the woods when he heard someone crying for help.

“I soon realised that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream, so I picked up the frog and, to my surprise, it asked me to kiss it, saying that it would turn into a genie and grant me three wishes.So I looked around to make sure I was alone and I gave the frog a kiss. And POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman who offered me three wishes. So, I looked down at my scrawny body and said, ‘I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger.‘

She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! There I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked! She then asked, ‘What will be your second wish?‘

I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, ‘I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream.‘ She nodded, laid down and beckoned me to join her and we made love for hours!

Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, ‘You know that you still have one more wish. What will it be?‘

I looked at her and replied, ‘How about a little head?‘.”

[johnplayer]

A recent survey confirmed that 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren't happy .