Cyber bullying going on right now by everyone I know - MOD WARNING POST #2

Mr Simpson · 05-01-2013 5:23pm

One thing I would like to see come from this, is a policy on whats ok and whats not. Obviously stuff needs to be judged on a case by case basis. Part of the issue that some people have had, is why didnt it happen for x or y thread but its happening now.

Defiler Of The Coffin · 05-01-2013 5:27pm

The goalposts have clearly changed in the last few months with regards to cyberbullying - rightfully so. What this girl is going through at the moment is a disgrace, the fact that people are bringing up her perceived social status as an excuse to ridicule and abuse her says more about them then it does about her

Caliden · 05-01-2013 5:28pm

MarkMc wrote: »

One thing I would like to see come from this, is a policy on whats ok and whats not. Obviously stuff needs to be judged on a case by case basis. Part of the issue that some people have had, is why didnt it happen for x or y thread but its happening now.

What do you mean by 'policy on what's ok and what's not', are you talking about videos?

Every 60 seconds, there is 48 hours worth of video uploaded to youtube alone so if that's what you're hinting at enforcing then it's impossible.

Lyaiera · 05-01-2013 5:29pm

MarkMc wrote: »

One thing I would like to see come from this, is a policy on whats ok and whats not. Obviously stuff needs to be judged on a case by case basis. Part of the issue that some people have had, is why didnt it happen for x or y thread but its happening now.

I think it's a problem of having a forum where there's really opposed views. Someone will always be accused of being mean or bullying or whatever and things get quite heated. And arguments are done with wide strokes and blunt attacks.

One place I do post is a place where people broadly agree on almost everything. It makes for a very interesting forum, because instead of people arguing basics over and over, and trying to get someone to see a broad idea people instead get to talk about very nuanced and specific parts of a generally agreed idea. It allows people to go into a lot more depth about things they're interested in when there's agreement about the overall situation.

orestes · 05-01-2013 5:29pm

A teenager got drunk and did something stupid, let's destroy her life. When the hell did the Irish population turn into 4chan?

suicide_circus · 05-01-2013 5:29pm

ok obviously this whole things has gotten way out of hand. any death threats or the like are outrageous and a matter for the Gardai.

however, i have an issue with direct comparisons with the young girls who took their own lives after online bullying. those kids were maliciously targeted over a sustained period with no provication whatsoever. this girl on the other hand hurled drunken abuse on camera and thus triggered the backlash, which now has gone way out of proportion.
as for the girls family also being now targeted, i believe it was her own doing bring them into it.
the internet is heaving with videos of people making a show of themselves, the only difference here is that this girl has money and there are comparisons being drawn with recent high profile tragic events.

T-K-O · 05-01-2013 5:29pm

Caliden wrote: »

What do you mean by 'policy on what's ok and what's not', are you talking about videos?

Every 60 seconds, there is 48 hours worth of video uploaded to youtube alone so if that's what you're hinting at enforcing then it's impossible.

The last octet of the ip must be an even number, if not it's not OK

Mr Simpson · 05-01-2013 5:31pm

When I say policy, I'm referring to Boards only.

Call Me Jimmy · 05-01-2013 5:32pm

I haven't seen the video but from reading here, attempted upskirt shots? I detest snobs but come on lads, who cares what crap she said.

Annasopra · 05-01-2013 5:33pm

suicide_circus wrote: »

ok obviously this whole things has gotten way out of hand. any death threats or the like are outrageous and a matter for the Gardai.

however, i have an issue with direct comparisons with the young girls who took their own lives after online bullying. those kids were maliciously targeted over a sustained period with no provication whatsoever. this girl on the other hand hurled drunken abuse on camera and thus triggered the backlash, which now has gone way out of proportion.
as for the girls family also being now targeted, i believe it was her own doing bring them into it.
the internet is heaving with videos of people making a show of themselves, the only difference here is that this girl has money and there are comparisons being drawn with recent high profile tragic events.

What?
Are you really justifying serious abuse

greenheart · 05-01-2013 5:38pm

Caliden wrote: »

People should just have a laugh at a video of some girl making an eejit of herself and move on. She will be out of the spotlight in a week

I hope that's true, I'm worrying about her now, it's an awful lot for a girl that age to take. When I first saw the video I taught she behaved vile but then I heard the full story. I kind of feel sorry for her. I hope she has good support there to get her past this. This will teach her some life lessons that's for sure.

Mardy Bum · 05-01-2013 5:38pm

There are large sections of Ireland extremely annoyed with the privileged elite of the country. This girl constitutes the 1% in terms of Ireland's economic groupings. The public has used her drunken tirade as a way get one back on those who so many rightly and wrongly blame for their own problems. She is a scapegoat. Its embarrassing really that this is how so many people get their kicks.

Everyone who has gotten drunk has had a night where they have said stuff they shouldn't.

suicide_circus · 05-01-2013 5:41pm

mango salsa wrote: »

What?
Are you really justifying serious abuse

um...no.

i think serious abuse is a matter of the police, as i said.

Killer Wench · 05-01-2013 5:42pm

Some of these comments remind me of the things people say when a young woman is raped. People immediately ask if she was wearing provocative clothing, or if she was walking alone on a dark street, as if either thing caused her to be raped and assaulted by someone. People are blaming the victim, and what is most egregious about it is that their own comments will remain as long as they are cached.

I believe many of the posters are using this girl as a scapegoat for voicing their feelings of impotence, hatred, ignorance, or disgust at the devastation of the banking industry. They are projecting their vitriolic comments towards this girl because she is easy to access. They can't get to her father's company, but they can get to her.

Every single one of us had an embarrassing moment in high school. Maybe you're the boy who got shot down by the pretty girl in front of your friends, or you're the girl whose mother/father shamed you in front of your rivals. Twenty years ago, these instances would have been just been the subject of exaggerated stories passed around to your classmates, but in a few years time, only the spiteful individuals remembered the gist of the event. Today, these kids are still experiencing the same embarrassing moments during their maturation process, but instead of being private shame, people record it and broadcast it all over the internet for the viewing pleasure of the whole school, township/city, state/county, country, and the world.

So you object to the nature and tone of her comments? Suck it up and move the **** on. She's a child and one day, she may have matured and recognized how right or wrong she was in this situation; but now the country has stepped in and has permanently ruined the natural maturation process.

oppenheimer1 · 05-01-2013 5:43pm

MarkMc wrote: »

In the short time between these two videos, a lot has changed. The whole issue of cyber bullying has been brought to the foreground.

Also, the video of the cork girls did not result in the receiving death threats

What nonsense. Cyber bullying has been known as an issue for years now - to claim that it is a new phenomenon is trying to deflect from the collective failures of the moderation in AH.

How do you know the Cork girls did not receive death threats no more than you know that this other girl did?

oppenheimer1 · 05-01-2013 5:46pm

MarkMc wrote: »

One thing I would like to see come from this, is a policy on whats ok and whats not. Obviously stuff needs to be judged on a case by case basis. Part of the issue that some people have had, is why didnt it happen for x or y thread but its happening now.

We know what the policy is- "If you appear to be rich enough to sue us, its ok we won't allow discussion"

Jarrod · 05-01-2013 5:51pm

Right, I've very little sympathy for the girl. Mainly because I'm not going to allow drink be used as an excuse for acting like a horrible person. If it was a video of someone getting drunk and falling over then fair enough, too much drink can cause you to fall over. Too much drink should not cause you to try to devalue another person based on their perceived income compared to that of your parents, regardless of provocation.

However, I suppose the issue is the response and not the video itself. My view is that commenting on the video and giving your opinion on the drunken ramblings of this girl is fair enough, posting links to her social media page isn't something that I'd do or condone but that's the nature of the internet. If you're on it then anybody who wants to find you can do so. At 16, should you have a social media page? Maybe, but I would consider it ill advised. At 16, should you be out in town drunk? Definitely not. It baffles me that children feel the need to be on Facebook or Twitter. At that age you spend the vast majority of your time with your friends, why the need for a Facebook page?

As an aside, I think the term 'death threat' is getting overused thanks to social media.

Lyaiera · 05-01-2013 5:51pm

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

We know what the policy is- "If you or appear to be rich enough to sue us, its ok we won't allow discussion"

That is an absolutely correct business decision, and it is part of what happened here. Boards is a business and exists to make money, not to serve the posters. It's the exact same as Facebook and Google. Are you the person paying for the service? If not, then you're not the customer, you're the resource.

Businesses have a duty to maximise profits (as was discussed with Starbucks paying almost no tax in Britain.) Minimising liabilities is absolutely vital for any business. However that does not make for ethical business, and in fact businesses have no duty to behave ethically, all they are required to do is operate within the boundaries of the law. Even if they break the law, it could be a potentially sound business decision as the benefit of breaking the law outweighs the cost of breaking the law.

Getting businesses to behave ethically is one of the greatest challenges of the modern world. They are simply not established and governed in a way in which that is a priority.

Super-Rush · 05-01-2013 5:56pm

the keen edge wrote: »

The Cork fighting teenagers thread was let run to 420+ posts over the course of 6 days and was only locked, and not deleted mind, minutes ago.

Seemingly, on these forums at least, cyberbullying affects you differently depending on what section of society you can claim to be from.

Couldn't be more wrong if you tried.

When that video of the girls fighting in Cork was posted we were snowed under and down a couple of mods. It went un noticed by us for a while(sorry for sleeping) but we took action as best we could.

To suggest that we let one thread run longer because we associate ourselves with a so called higher class of society is an insult to me and the rest of the AH mod team.

dvpower · 05-01-2013 5:56pm

oppenheimer1 wrote: »

We know what the policy is- "If you appear to be rich enough to sue us, its ok we won't allow discussion"

Maybe Boards needs to get a legal fighting fund together to mitigate this.
Can I put you down for €100?

oppenheimer1 · 05-01-2013 5:57pm

Lyaiera wrote: »

That is an absolutely correct business decision, and it is part of what happened here. Boards is a business and exists to make money, not to serve the posters. It's the exact same as Facebook and Google. Are you the person paying for the service? If not, then you're not the customer, you're the resource.

Businesses have a duty to maximise profits (as was discussed with Starbucks paying almost no tax in Britain.) Minimising liabilities is absolutely vital for any business. However that does not make for ethical business, and in fact businesses have no duty to behave ethically, all they are required to do is operate within the boundaries of the law. Even if they break the law, it could be a potentially sound business decision as the benefit of breaking the law outweighs the cost of breaking the law.

Getting businesses to behave ethically is one of the greatest challenges of the modern world. They are simply not established and governed in a way in which that is a priority.

I don't have a problem with that as a policy if it is clearly and honestly stated. What I object to is being told that the reason discussion was shut down was due to some high minded notion of protecting the subject of the video from cyber bullying. Boards only looks out for itself, not anyone else.

HabeasCorpus · 05-01-2013 5:57pm

jamesbondings wrote: »

I was brought up to understand that my actions good or bad had consequences. Everyone has done stupid things while drunk but has had to deal with the aftermath.

I believe in tough love. This whole debacle will teach her some humility the whole thing will die down in a few weeks and she can get on with her life.

Im sure she's mortified however to call people who like it and share it online bullies is ridiculous. She was obscene offensive and abusive and important sure she will learn a valuable lesson. Not saying there was an innocent party in the video either.

The scale of this Tough Love is rather more than your Mammy giving out to you or taking your PS. I don't know of a 16 year old who hasn't had a ridiculous outburst, I really don't. Yet the attitude reminds me of the angry mob crying for the crucifixion. I thought when I first heard of that, Oh people wouldn't condemn another to that extent. Mass hate exists and is extremely dangerous, it removes that which makes us an intelligent life form, kindness, consideration, empathy, forgiveness.

I hope she has the support and understanding at home to actually get over this in a few weeks, as you say. But with a 16 year old, you do not know this, it is painfully obvious there is maturing to do before anything like a balanced frame of mind emerges.

I read an excellent article about how people become disassociated, hiding behind their computers they were saying and posting things they would never do directly to the person. Celebs and people with high profiles are subjected to this all the time. Without a doubt they find the pressure tough, how much more so for this teenager who only has negative feedback and no oscars, fans, etc.

Another expert in Mental Health and Narcissistic behaviour, Sam Vaknin writes about How Technology Killed Empathy. How modern media excludes reality, we have almost zombies walking around with earphones in to ensure reality isn't really a part of their life when they are not actually in front of a screen, or with surround sound. People in short, are becoming desensitised and have less emotional intelligence than even 30 years ago, before the increase in daily use of technology.
In all, there is a mass move towards public humiliation, a lack of kindness and consideration towards people online. People are judged harshly not only for their words and deeds, but crucified by words over their appearance. You depersonalise this female, you treat her as an object, a scapegoat on which to take out your more basic drives; hate and, perversely, lust.

I am extremely grateful to see Boards is exercising caution and not actively encouraging people to bully others online.

Lyaiera · 05-01-2013 5:58pm

dvpower wrote: »

Maybe Boards needs to get a legal fighting fund together to mitigate this.
Can I put you down for €100?

I'd get my boobs out if €10k was raised for an Irish internet freedom lobby group. I think there'd be a bit of a wait for that though.

oppenheimer1 · 05-01-2013 5:59pm

dvpower wrote: »

Maybe Boards needs to get a legal fighting fund together to mitigate this.
Can I put you down for €100?

I give boards.ie free content and it gets revenue from the ad clicks from the traffic my content generates.

The users of boards.ie don't owe the site anything.

Holsten · 05-01-2013 6:00pm

Call Me Jimmy wrote: »

I haven't seen the video but from reading here, attempted upskirt shots? I detest snobs but come on lads, who cares what crap she said.

Not at all, she is wearing a very short skirt so when she stands up there is a glimpse of her knickers.

They where hardly attempting to do it on purpose.

anncoates · 05-01-2013 6:02pm

I abhor all the harrassment of the girl that is going on and the people that posted the video are despicable imo but 're: some of the excuses about her age and whatnot. Is everybody here claiming they made comments like that as a teenager, even when pissed?

Pottler · 05-01-2013 6:03pm

Jarrod wrote: »

Right, I've very little sympathy for the girl. Mainly because I'm not going to allow drink be used as an excuse for acting like a horrible person. If it was a video of someone getting drunk and falling over then fair enough, too much drink can cause you to fall over. Too much drink should not cause you to try to devalue another person based on their perceived income compared to that of your parents, regardless of provocation.

However, I suppose the issue is the response and not the video itself. My view is that commenting on the video and giving your opinion on the drunken ramblings of this girl is fair enough, posting links to her social media page isn't something that I'd do or condone but that's the nature of the internet. If you're on it then anybody who wants to find you can do so. At 16, should you have a social media page? Maybe, but I would consider it ill advised. At 16, should you be out in town drunk? Definitely not. It baffles me that children feel the need to be on Facebook or Twitter. At that age you spend the vast majority of your time with your friends, why the need for a Facebook page?

As an aside, I think the term 'death threat' is getting overused thanks to social media.

Ahh, stop. Will ya. If I think back to all the dumb things me and my friends did at 16, thanks be to god there were no cameras. At 16 you are young, silly and loud, which is great, you're young.

It is nasty, vindictive and bullying what is happening to this girl, I feel really sorry for her and I can imagine the great old snigger the lads who filmed it were having at the time.

In the old days, you made a show of yourself, ten people saw it and twenty heard about it. In a week it was forgotten. Now, the world hears, sees and joins in the "laughter".

Some pressure to be laying onto kids who are unfortunate enough to get filmed like this. Really, utterly crap way to be going on posting up stuff like this video, I wouldn't do it, I'd be too wary of ruining someones life, and I'd be too much of a human being to do it to anyone.

BidillyBo · 05-01-2013 6:04pm

Defiler Of The Coffin wrote: »

The goalposts have clearly changed in the last few months with regards to cyberbullying - rightfully so. What this girl is going through at the moment is a disgrace, the fact that people are bringing up her perceived social status as an excuse to ridicule and abuse her says more about them then it does about her

I do believe shes the one who brought up her social status, several times.

Defiler Of The Coffin · 05-01-2013 6:06pm

BidillyBo wrote: »

I do believe shes the one who brought up her social status, several times.

Doesn't matter who brought it up, she doesn't deserve to be vilified across the entire internet

Caliden · 05-01-2013 6:07pm

BidillyBo wrote: »

I do believe shes the one who brought up her social status, several times.

Her dad works at KFC I think

Cyber bullying going on right now by everyone I know - MOD WARNING POST #2

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