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Left Alone

  • 01-12-2007 5:20pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hmm ok, I think I need some advice. I'm young (early 20's) and have just gotten out of a long term relationship. The relationship ended fairly amicably...it just wasnt working out but I feel like I've gotten the worst possible deal out of it. All of 'our' friends were his friends and since i came from the country to go to college this was the group of friends that i made in college and then as what usually happens, you get into a relationship and as it goes on, expanding your social circle goes out the window.

    While im still friends with my ex I feel completely completely alone. I have maybe 2 other fairly close friends that I talk to but who also have their own lives...simply put I dont have a close group of friends...or even a close friend at this point that i can rely on. I can understand that he's moving on and having his own life now since we broke up but its like he's having this great life with lots of friends for support while im left crying for entire days (like today) because I feel so unbelievably alone. I feel like i could go literally for days without anyone ever txting or calling to see what im up to or if i want to do something...yeah i know that sounds like im dwelling on stuff but i really do feel like its true.

    I dont know what to do, i do have a history of depression but i dont feel like going to a professional will help me with this. I'm finished college and feel like i have no oppertunity to meet new people anymore, im always the one to txt people and suggest to do something not the other way around. i just feel so incredibly unhappy with my life and i see no way of making it better.


Comments

  • #2
    IRISH RAIL
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,097 ✭✭✭IRISH RAIL


    Heres a tought youre already on boards so why not snoop around all the pages find something that your interested in and make the most of it !
    maybe meet up with some people who have similar intrests as you.


  • #3
    Ruu_Old
    Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    ^ Yep, some Boards events coming up and everyone is welcome. Check here, need some help. Best of luck. :)


  • #4
    Pigman II
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,921 ✭✭✭✭Pigman II


    The last thing she needs is the company of a bunch of psychos


  • #5
    MayMay
    Closed Accounts Posts: 848 ✭✭✭MayMay


    Pigman II wrote: »
    The last thing she needs is the company of a bunch of psychos

    That was helpful!


  • #6
    dudara
    Registered Users Posts: 33,519 ✭✭✭✭dudara


    Constructive posts please everyone.

    dudara


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  • #7
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,295 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    Pigman II wrote: »
    The last thing she needs is the company of a bunch of psychos
    In true Pigman humour, he's calling every other member on boards a psycho.


    OP, look into the sports forums, and also the volunteerism forum, for random get togethers of people. Most of them won't mind an extra person for their meetings.


  • #8
    lauren1980
    Closed Accounts Posts: 18 ✭lauren1980


    hi
    I felt for ya when i read your post. Have been in the same postition postion once, had a fight with a boyfriend and as a result ended up loosing touch with the rest of the friends in the group. Didnt talk to our mutual friends for a few months after it happened, despite the fact i would have been out with them every weekend and seeing them during the week too when we were together. I note ya say in ur post , you feel you have no opportunities to meet anyone, would you consider changing jobs or something, ya can make good friends from work, i have myself.

    I know it feels awful when you always have to be the first to text, but i do think ya have to put in an effort yourself and not always wait for others to contact you. Sometimes if ya put in an effort and text people regularly the tables turn and they ll start texting you first!


    Did you try contacting any of your mutual friends? if you were good friends with them, you should be able to text them to see how their getting on even. Ended up getting back in contract with our mutal friends after i met a few of them on a night out, and friends again with them now, friends with the ex 2, we both have soemone esle now though!

    I know it can be hard to get through the day without crying when you feel so alone, but try to focus on keeping busy or doing something to get you mind of being upset about it. Life will get better, sometimes it just takes time, put in an effort and you will meet new people or get in contact with people you have been friends with before.


  • #9
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Hi, I'm in the exact same situation! Really feel I could have written most of your post about myself. Recent breakup, missing the mutual friends, generally feeling a bit lonely...and feeling that he got a better deal!

    It's not always easy but I would definately advise you to get out and do something, or maybe several things that might interest you. Theres lots of classes and groups for almost anything you could think of. It'll still take a while to get to know people well, but in the meantime you'll be doing something you like and you won't have so much time to dwell on the situation. Even if you just do something by yourself, its a start and it'll make you feel better. This is the approach i'm taking and while I still have my bad days, keeping busy helps a lot.

    And do keep in touch with those friends. Even if you're always the first to make contact, I'm sure they're glad to hear from you.


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