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Moist Toilet Tissue

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  • 25-08-2008 7:10pm
    #1
    anniehoo
    Registered Users Posts: 6,596 ✭✭✭


    Gross i know, but am just back from a friends house where thats all they had to use...left early..errr...cos i feel like a baby just wiped with a wet wipe on my arse..soooo uncomfortable! :eek:What the hell is the point of this stuff???


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    #2
    Huggles
    Registered Users Posts: 3,408 ✭✭✭Huggles


    anniehoo wrote: »
    Gross i know, but am just back from a friends house where thats all they had to use...left early..errr...cos i feel like a baby just wiped with a wet wipe on my arse..soooo uncomfortable! :eek:What the hell is the point of this stuff???

    Was it actually a wet wipe?


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    #3
    phasers
    Registered Users Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    are you sure you didn't use her make up wipes by accident?


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    #4
    **Caroline**
    Registered Users Posts: 114 ✭✭**Caroline**


    Had to laugh at your post when I seen it! I think I know what you're on about though (strangely enough) - that happens if someone's just had a really long shower or bath without opening windows & there's loadsa condensation in the room.... and yes, it is gross!! lol You'll know to bring your own stash in your handbag next time!!!


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    #5
    SoupyNorman
    Registered Users Posts: 4,257 ✭✭✭SoupyNorman


    The moist tissue is supposed to used in conjunction with normal wiping procedures, it should be the last wipe for freshness-ness.

    An All wet wipe wipe just leaves you with a saturated hole.


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    #6
    trout
    Registered Users Posts: 9,922 ✭✭✭trout


    Wet wipes don't flush too well ... so ... think on, next time you have a bathroom emergency.


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    #7
    karlr42
    Closed Accounts Posts: 580 ✭✭✭karlr42


    Forget about tissue, get yourself one of these:
    Untitled.jpg
    wash the anus or vulva of the user (including a number of pulsating and massaging functions), dry afterwards with warm air,


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    #8
    truecrippler
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,243 ✭✭✭truecrippler


    There's such things as wet wipes? Next they're gonna invent something that shoots a stream of water at your gicker. :eek:


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    #9
    Jimbo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,379 ✭✭✭Jimbo


    karlr42 wrote: »
    Forget about tissue, get yourself one of these:
    Untitled.jpg

    Or one of these babies


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    #10
    dazberry
    Registered Users Posts: 2,145 ✭✭✭dazberry


    bravestarr082 wrote: »
    saturated hole.

    Reported! That term is too technical for AH, take it to the practice and technique sub-forum under the hole wiping forum :D

    D.


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    #11
    karlr42
    Closed Accounts Posts: 580 ✭✭✭karlr42


    jimbo78 wrote: »
    Or one of these babies
    The remote control-ness of that opens up many possibilities for the discerning prankster..


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    #12
    anniehoo
    Registered Users Posts: 6,596 ✭✭✭anniehoo


    phasers wrote: »
    are you sure you didn't use her make up wipes by accident?

    No i swear it said "Marks and Spencers Moist Toilet Tissue"...never again!;)


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    #13
    Wazdakka
    Registered Users Posts: 4,467 ✭✭✭Wazdakka


    This thread almost had me googleing for the paramount in automated ass cleaning technology...


    I think I need a break from boards for a few hours


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    #14
    kizzyr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,410 ✭✭✭kizzyr


    I remember hearing about a girl who was in a friends house and had to use the bathroom. There was no toilet paper and when she saw what she assumed was a packet of these tissue thingys grabbed one or two and used away. They were Cif Bathroom Cleaner wipes instead!! .........she was clean though:D


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    #15
    SoupyNorman
    Registered Users Posts: 4,257 ✭✭✭SoupyNorman


    dazberry wrote: »

    hole wiping forum :D

    D.

    Forum requested!


    First Thread....

    The correct way to wipe? - Front to back or Back to front...


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    #16
    gcgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,044 ✭✭✭gcgirl


    kizzyr wrote: »
    I remember hearing about a girl who was in a friends house and had to use the bathroom. There was no toilet paper and when she saw what she assumed was a packet of these tissue thingys grabbed one or two and used away. They were Cif Bathroom Cleaner wipes instead!! .........she was clean though:D

    The ex did that once when changing a nappie Instead of using babywipes he used the cif bathroom cleaner wipes !! Not the brightest guy :(


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    #17
    One-Day-Juande
    Registered Users Posts: 100 ✭✭One-Day-Juande


    Andrex moistened toilet tissue, best invention in the world, especially when you've had a nasty one. Thing is you're meant to have a wipe of some normal stuff afterwards.

    Really though it's the most confusing thing, most people put a lot of effort into grooming and cleanliness but when it comes to the ****ter it's suffice to just use a piece of paper. Say for example you got **** on your elbow (not hands cause thats a different ballpark), would you just give it a wipe with some toilet paper and get on with your day.


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    #18
    kizzyr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,410 ✭✭✭kizzyr


    gcgirl wrote: »
    The ex did that once when changing a nappie Instead of using babywipes he used the cif bathroom cleaner wipes !! Not the brightest guy :(

    The poor baby:eek:


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    #19
    Krieg
    Registered Users Posts: 2,378 ✭✭✭Krieg


    kizzyr wrote: »
    I remember hearing about a girl who was in a friends house and had to use the bathroom. There was no toilet paper and when she saw what she assumed was a packet of these tissue thingys grabbed one or two and used away. They were Cif Bathroom Cleaner wipes instead!! .........she was clean though:D

    Bah... I done the same once, except it was dettol wipes. Dont ask me how....


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    #20
    gcgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,044 ✭✭✭gcgirl


    Krieg wrote: »
    Bah... I done the same once, except it was dettol wipes. Dont ask me how....
    The smell of citrus !!!


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    #21
    TerrorFirmer
    Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    Can you elaborate on 'moist tissue'?? I'm thinking that you either used wet wipes, or else someone just dropped the roll into the toilet and fished it out again. Dunno which is worse to be honest.


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    #22
    phasers
    Registered Users Posts: 18,159 ✭✭✭✭phasers


    bravestarr082 wrote: »
    Forum requested!


    First Thread....

    The correct way to wipe? - Front to back or Back to front...

    Front to back, I read it in a teen magazine once :eek:


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    #23
    FlutterinBantam
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,576 ✭✭✭✭FlutterinBantam


    Look it's really quite simple

    After dropping a normal coil,good quality paper is sufficient,work it into the eye in a dabbing circular motion.She will be clean as a fresh euro coin.
    Always front to back for the ladies.

    If the motion is a tad loose and there is some spread around the muzzle,moist wipes are your man, but get the heavy clagg off with tissue first.

    If there is a preponderance of tag nuts and or winnints and a good crop of arse cress, the bidet is your man.

    Now I know not many irish homes have such a device,so the Flutt reccomends go to any good DIY store and purchase a good plant sprayer,preferably with the pumping action.

    If you have a problem getting the badge clean,fill the device with lukewarm water with a small drop of liquid soap.Pump up the pressure and direct the jet or spray directly into the rusty bullet hole.

    This is very pleasant and does all a bidet would do albeit a tad more awkward.

    Suggest making sure bathroom door fully locked.

    Easy peasy actually.


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    #24
    The Walsho
    Registered Users Posts: 1,251 ✭✭✭The Walsho


    I just find it strange you'd take a shít in someone else's house, I can never bring myself to do that.


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    #25
    ashyle
    Registered Users Posts: 699 ✭✭✭ashyle


    anniehoo wrote: »
    Gross i know, but am just back from a friends house where thats all they had to use...left early..errr...cos i feel like a baby just wiped with a wet wipe on my arse..soooo uncomfortable! :eek:What the hell is the point of this stuff???


    my auntie has that in her gaf for my cousins. the packet has a pig with a curly tail on it that says 'i'm wiping my bottom!!!!'

    weird stuff man


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    #26
    rainbow kirby
    Moderators, Regional Abroad Moderators Posts: 26,928 Mod ✭✭✭✭rainbow kirby


    The Walsho wrote: »
    I just find it strange you'd take a shít in someone else's house, I can never bring myself to do that.

    When ya gotta go, you gotta go. **** happens.


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    #27
    Sailormoon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 21 ✭Sailormoon


    gcgirl wrote: »
    The ex did that once when changing a nappie Instead of using babywipes he used the cif bathroom cleaner wipes !! Not the brightest guy :(


    In fairness, it is an easy mistake to make, especially if they're lying right beside each other! Have been tempted many-many times myself!:o


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    #28
    HouseHippo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,332 ✭✭✭HouseHippo


    anniehoo wrote: »
    No i swear it said "Marks and Spencers Moist Toilet Tissue"...never again!;)
    This isn't any moist toilet paper, this is M&S moist toilet paper


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    #29
    MarkR
    Moderators, Regional Midwest Moderators Posts: 11,054 Mod ✭✭✭✭MarkR


    Just the job when you've an arse like a japenese flag. For extra "aaaaaah" keep some in the fridge until required.


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