Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

How's it goin, doll? I'm Jim. I like kittens and saving the world

2

Comments

  • #32
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    RedXIV wrote: »
    international martial arts superstar.

    ah no, find a story that makes em laugh, preferably with you getting alot of mishaps on the way with a mediocere ending. If you can relate it to something they said, you're on to a winner.


    Classic PUA tactic I believe:)

    She'll never cop on though...women never see through that stuff......:rolleyes:


  • #33
    Dinter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,698 ✭✭✭Dinter


    Most important thing to remember is that women like to know you're intersted in them.

    It's pretty easy tbh, just maintain direct eye contact at all times.

    Even if this means having to move your chair or stand up or walk around to beside her, or follow her to the toilet or twist under the table if she goes to her handbag.

    Remember though it's not mid level eye contact.

    Somehow that creeps them out.


  • #34
    Quality
    Registered Users Posts: 6,900 ✭✭✭Quality


    Sperm Donor :cool:


  • #35
    suspectdevice
    Registered Users Posts: 328 ✭✭suspectdevice


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    I am dubious about the prospects of sexual fullfillment in the long term with someone who can't appreciate anticipation.

    the bloke has been anticapting this all week, ever since he signed up hes been anticipating it, how long do you expect a bloke to anticpate for?


  • #36
    c - 13
    Registered Users Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    *Smile*

    *Handshake*

    "Hi, i'm Jim, but my last few girlfriends called me "Oh yeah fuck me harder daddy !" so feel free to use that if you prefer"

    Guarenteed to give you a slap in the gob 8 minutes of dirty looks and silence a laugh


  • Advertisement
  • #37
    Jumpy
    Registered Users Posts: 7,606 ✭✭✭Jumpy


    Explain about the deficiency you have had since birth.

    You have a certain birth defect that meant your overly long tounge frequently blocked your airways. So the doctors had to give you gills.

    Very Long Tongue + Ability to breathe through your neck = Interested Laydees.


  • #38
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    c - 13 wrote: »
    *Smile*

    *Handshake*

    "Hi, i'm Jim, but my last few girlfriends called me "Oh yeah fuck me harder daddy !" so feel free to use that if you prefer"

    Guarenteed to give you a slap in the gob 8 minutes of dirty looks and silence a laugh
    Jumpy wrote: »
    Explain about the deficiency you have had since birth.

    You have a certain birth defect that meant your overly long tounge frequently blocked your airways. So the doctors had to give you gills.

    Very Long Tongue + Ability to breathe through your neck = Interested Laydees.

    For the benefit of any birds reading this, the above are both true, so no need to lie :pac:


  • #39
    boardinwork
    Closed Accounts Posts: 407 ✭✭boardinwork


    Board-in-work wrote: »
    wear an eyepatch, with a white suit....Pay the waiter to interupt the date - "I'm sorry Mr.XXX, I didn't see you arrive, let me get you a better table" etc etc.Make sure you arrive with an orphaned orangutang - (shoot both the parents for realism.) Give the ape to the waiter - leave with the bird.

    IMPOSTER!!!!:mad:


  • #40
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    tallaght01 wrote: »
    For the benefit of any birds reading this, the above are both true, so no need to lie :pac:

    Sold.


  • #41
    c - 13
    Registered Users Posts: 5,584 ✭✭✭c - 13


    Alternatively sing this for them, how can they resist -
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BH4_mZh-bj8


  • Advertisement
  • #42
    Ginny
    Hosted Moderators Posts: 13,425 ✭✭✭✭Ginny


    They have a pervert bell? each individual girl or the clipboard junkie?
    Ach be honest, fair balls to you for having the guts, the thoughts of speed dating has me whimpering in the corner:D


  • #43
    cuckoo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,945 ✭✭✭cuckoo


    Mention DIY somehow, as in 'yeah, was just putting up some shelves this afternoon'. This implies that you are good with your hands, comfortable handling electrical tools (so should be ok with any battery operated ones she may have tucked away in a drawer) and would be handy around the house.

    What woman hasn't dreamed of waking up some morning in the (strong) arms of a yummy man, who then pulls on a tool belt and puts up some shelves for her?


  • #44
    Davidius
    Registered Users Posts: 4,893 ✭✭✭Davidius


    Tell her you have a Gamescore of over 30K.


  • #45
    taidghbaby
    Registered Users Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭taidghbaby


    as sad as it sounds let her do all the talking and then at end when she asks what you do say that it is secretive, you can only tell certain people you trust and also that it takes a while to describe.......thus ensuring interest, desire and a need in her to please you!!


  • #46
    the_syco
    Registered Users Posts: 37,295 ✭✭✭✭the_syco


    If you know you stand no chance with her, but she's good looking, ask has she ever been screwed a doctor:pac:


  • #47
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    cuckoo wrote: »
    Mention DIY somehow, as in 'yeah, was just putting up some shelves this afternoon'. This implies that you are good with your hands, comfortable handling electrical tools (so should be ok with any battery operated ones she may have tucked away in a drawer) and would be handy around the house.

    What woman hasn't dreamed of waking up some morning in the (strong) arms of a yummy man, who then pulls on a tool belt and puts up some shelves for her?
    Funny:)
    taidghbaby wrote: »
    as sad as it sounds let her do all the talking and then at end when she asks what you do say that it is secretive, you can only tell certain people you trust and also that it takes a while to describe.......thus ensuring interest, desire and a need in her to please you!!
    PUA crap again - only bother trying that with the very drunk:)
    the_syco wrote: »
    If you know you stand no chance with her, but she's good looking, ask has she ever been screwed a doctor:pac:
    I'm sure she'd be charmed with that alright:rolleyes:


  • #48
    Raoul
    Registered Users Posts: 7,683 ✭✭✭Raoul


    taidghbaby wrote: »
    as sad as it sounds let her do all the talking and then at end when she asks what you do say that it is secretive, you can only tell certain people you trust and also that it takes a while to describe.......thus ensuring interest, desire and a need in her to please you!!

    Definitely go with this. If she actually likes you, she will ask for your number or be interested in meeting you later and if she doesn't ask, you don't feel as if you are rejected!! :cool:

    how long do you have to talk to the girl??


  • #49
    Voodu Child
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,706 ✭✭✭Voodu Child


    If it's speed-dating, the smart move would be to hedge your bets and tell a different story to each girl. And tailor each lie to suit the girl - tell the fat one you're a chef, tell the ugly one you're a plastic surgeon, etc.


  • #50
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,264 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    Jump through the roof from helicopter and give them some milk tray.
    63% of the time it works every time.


  • #51
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    voodoo_child wrote: »
    If it's speed-dating, the smart move would be to hedge your bets and tell a different story to each girl. And tailor each lie to suit the girl - tell the fat one you're a chef, tell the ugly one you're a plastic surgeon, etc.

    I have to stop reading this thread......
    kowloon wrote: »
    Jump through the roof from helicopter and give them some milk tray.
    63% of the time it works every time.

    Although, yes, that would work......;)


  • Advertisement
  • #52
    taidghbaby
    Registered Users Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭taidghbaby


    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    PUA crap again - only bother trying that with the very drunk:)

    why do you say that??


  • #53
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    taidghbaby wrote: »
    why do you say that??

    Because I would see through that straight away if I was sober!:D


  • #54
    taidghbaby
    Registered Users Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭taidghbaby


    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    Because I would see through that straight away if I was sober!:D
    god bless your eyesight;)


  • #55
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    taidghbaby wrote: »
    god bless your eyesight;)
    I'm an atheist - that helps too;)


  • #56
    taidghbaby
    Registered Users Posts: 2,746 ✭✭✭taidghbaby


    GirlInterrupted wrote: »
    I'm an atheist - that helps too;)
    devil woman:mad::mad::mad:


  • #57
    TequilaMockingBird
    Registered Users Posts: 4,392 ✭✭✭TequilaMockingBird


    cuckoo wrote: »
    Mention DIY somehow, as in 'yeah, was just putting up some shelves this afternoon'. This implies that you are good with your hands, comfortable handling electrical tools (so should be ok with any battery operated ones she may have tucked away in a drawer) and would be handy around the house.

    What woman hasn't dreamed of waking up some morning in the (strong) arms of a yummy man, who then pulls on a tool belt and puts up some shelves for her?

    ...and then f*cks off for 24hrs every 3 days!

    Sounds good to me.




    Oh and the saving babies bit isn't bad either.


  • #58
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    Thanks for all the tips, guys.

    But me mate has just rang me to say he's got cold feet and doesn't wanna go now.

    I think you defo need to go to speed dating with at least one friend. Not goin on me own.

    It's a shame, coz I was starting to look forward to it, now that I have an arsenal of lies and deceit a my disposal.:pac:


  • #59
    thefinalstage
    Registered Users Posts: 3,502 ✭✭✭thefinalstage


    Just remember to keep your back straight, your shoulders back, neck in line with your spine and sit at a slight angle to the girl. As in the front of your body is not totally facing her. Whatever you say, say it clearly in a voice thats slightly domineering. Also gaze into her eyes and make it seem natural. Sullen eyes and a slight tilt in your head helps. Remember to keep gazing until she breaks eye contact.

    The inexperienced often stare to long or put on a crazy look. :P


  • #60
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,744 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    tallaght01 wrote: »
    LOL

    I caight it off yer oulone :pac:
    Touché!


    Just mention your Boards postcount & your "Thanked" stats & they'll be frothing at the gash in no time. Honest.


  • Advertisement
  • #61
    Ron DMC
    Registered Users Posts: 5,297 ✭✭✭Ron DMC


    Hill Billy wrote: »
    Touché!


    Just mention your Boards postcount & your "Thanked" stats & they'll be frothing at the gash in no time. Honest.
    That's the most awful phrase I've ever heard.


Advertisement