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Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

How's it goin, doll? I'm Jim. I like kittens and saving the world

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Comments

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    #62
    Earthhorse
    Registered Users Posts: 14,715 ✭✭✭✭Earthhorse


    Moonbaby wrote: »
    Otherwise I'm impressed by tradesmen....and people who give me the impression they have an interest in me.

    So they only have to give the impression of interest.

    I've always found that fascinating about you.
    suspectdevice wrote: »
    ah man, that sucks, pervert bell. what, do people actually go to these without sex on their mind? suppose some girls would, but lads, surely not.

    Admit it, tallaght01, you saw the words "Pervert Ball" on the pamphlet and signed up, only later to realise your error. Yeah, sure, your "friend" "rang" to "say" he had "cold feet". Your fancy medical mumbo-jumbo can't conceal the truth!
    Board-in-work wrote: »
    wear an eyepatch, with a white suit....Pay the waiter to interupt the date - "I'm sorry Mr.XXX, I didn't see you arrive, let me get you a better table" etc etc.Make sure you arrive with an orphaned orangutang - (shoot both the parents for realism.) Give the ape to the waiter - leave with the bird.

    There's an ape? And a bird? What kind of bird?

    /scribbles furiously


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    #63
    The Hill Billy
    Registered Users Posts: 22,746 ✭✭✭✭The Hill Billy


    Ronny Mitchell wrote: »
    That's the most awful phrase I've ever heard.
    There's no copyright on it. Feel free to use it.


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    #64
    red_ice
    Registered Users Posts: 4,946 ✭✭✭red_ice


    could try talking in a different accent for every girl you talk to. Either that or put on the scummiest dublin accent you can, and tell them your interests involve chasing a pink elephant with the knife you have in your pocket. Really freak them out. Time the whole thing, see which one will stay the longest. Take that and put it against the ratio of how good they look then talk to them after like a normal guy

    :D


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    #65
    Sherifu
    Registered Users Posts: 17,727 ✭✭✭✭Sherifu


    Hill Billy wrote: »
    Just mention your Boards postcount & your "Thanked" stats & they'll be frothing at the gash in no time. Honest.
    Curious.


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    #66
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    Ronny Mitchell wrote: »
    That's the most awful phrase I've ever heard.


    I was just thinkin it was a quality phrase, and that I must start using it more in conversation.....but different strokes and all that :cool:


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    #67
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    Earthhorse wrote: »

    Admit it, tallaght01, you saw the words "Pervert Ball" on the pamphlet and signed up, only later to realise your error. Yeah, sure, your "friend" "rang" to "say" he had "cold feet". Your fancy medical mumbo-jumbo can't conceal the truth!



    You could be onto something here. Surely a "pervert ball" would be a winner.

    next boards beers anyone? :pac:


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    #68
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    Say you're a Physio... good with your hands and that.. and also you like helping people. Trust me, it will work. ;)


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    #69
    chopperbyrne
    Registered Users Posts: 10,972 ✭✭✭✭chopperbyrne


    Tell them you're gay.

    Some girls can't resist the challenge.


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    #70
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    Larianne wrote: »
    Say you're a Physio... good with your hands and that.. and also you like helping people. Trust me, it will work. ;)

    what about saying im one of those massage therapists? Would that be better? Or is it too much of a gay job? :p

    Maybe they wouldn't be able to resist the challenge though :D

    Actually I've just been out at the pub. Saw a guy pulling a girl by pretending to be an orthopaedic surgeon. She fell and he started examining her. I was there with me mate, who IS an orthopaedic surgeon, and this guy was defo putting it on.

    But in fairness he's probably nailing her right now, while I'm sitting here posting on boards :D


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    #71
    fintan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 647 ✭✭✭fintan


    Tell her you're a fireman and then ask her questions so she talks about herself.


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    #72
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    fintan wrote: »
    Tell her you're a fireman and then ask her questions so she talks about herself.

    soooooo many bad experiences with firemen. I just couldn't do it to meself.

    Not even with the big hose connotations that go with it :p


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    #73
    Larianne
    Registered Users Posts: 35,954 ✭✭✭✭Larianne


    tallaght01 wrote: »
    what about saying im one of those massage therapists? Would that be better? Or is it too much of a gay job? :p

    Maybe they wouldn't be able to resist the challenge though :D

    Actually I've just been out at the pub. Saw a guy pulling a girl by pretending to be an orthopaedic surgeon. She fell and he started examining her. I was there with me mate, who IS an orthopaedic surgeon, and this guy was defo putting it on.

    But in fairness he's probably nailing her right now, while I'm sitting here posting on boards :D

    Masseuse is way too gay! Physio- healing hands, helping the injured, doing good for the communtiy etc.. Friend used to use it and he always did well! :D

    Why didn't your friend or yourself step in....?? too busy leering? You have to actually talk to d wimmin! ;)


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    #74
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    Larianne wrote: »
    Masseuse is way too gay! Physio- healing hands, helping the injured, doing good for the communtiy etc.. Friend used to use it and he always did well! :D

    Why didn't your friend or yourself step in....?? too busy leering? You have to actually talk to d wimmin! ;)

    Coz it's pretty unethical to ACTUALLY molest someone in the line of duty lol.

    It's frowned upon, unless you're an imposter :D

    Having said that, I'm all for shattering taboos :p


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    #75
    Maximilian
    Legal Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 5,400 Mod ✭✭✭✭Maximilian


    Cat photographer for the Washington Post


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    #76
    board om
    Closed Accounts Posts: 643 ✭✭✭board om


    there have been plenty of ideas of what you CAN say to help you pull but nobody is telling you what NOT to say. so my advice would be not to mention the being from Tallaght thing. they probably have a bell for that too.

    actually regarding the pervert bell, is the girl supposed to ring the bell if she comes across a pervert or is the pervert given the bell to ring so everyone knows he is is a pervert, sort of like a Leprosy bell?


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    #77
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    board om wrote: »
    there have been plenty of ideas of what you CAN say to help you pull but nobody is telling you what NOT to say. so my advice would be not to mention the being from Tallaght thing. they probably have a bell for that too.

    actually regarding the pervert bell, is the girl supposed to ring the bell if she comes across a pervert or is the pervert given the bell to ring so everyone knows he is is a pervert, sort of like a Leprosy bell?

    Don't mention tallaght? I'm not denying me roots. I'm no pontious pilate! Next thing you'll be telling me not to wear a tracksuit to the event :P

    As much as I take umbrage with your first comments, your idea about us perverts having a bell to mark us out is a great idea, and all speed dating organisers reading this need to take note!


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    #78
    GirlInterrupted
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭GirlInterrupted


    Ronny Mitchell wrote: »
    That's the most awful phrase I've ever heard.
    It is revolting.

    tallaght01 wrote: »
    I was just thinkin it was a quality phrase, and that I must start using it more in conversation.....but different strokes and all that :cool:
    Please, don't........:rolleyes:


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    #79
    cuckoo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,945 ✭✭✭cuckoo


    tallaght01 wrote: »
    Don't mention tallaght? I'm not denying me roots. I'm no pontious pilate! Next thing you'll be telling me not to wear a tracksuit to the event :P

    But....wearing a tracksuit could make her doubt the truth of your casual mention of '...the family castle back home in Ireland....'


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    #80
    board om
    Closed Accounts Posts: 643 ✭✭✭board om


    tallaght01 wrote: »
    As much as I take umbrage with your first comments, your idea about us perverts having a bell to mark us out is a great idea, and all speed dating organisers reading this need to take note!


    i was thinking about this afterwards and isnt it amazing that we immediatly assume that it will be the Man who gets outed as a pervert? nobody ever thinks that some woman is going to sit down and say something utterly nasty and that the man might have to reach for that pervert bell. and the reason this would never happen is becuase if a woman sat down and immediatly said something nasty, we would fcuking love it. roll on the speed dating. im excited for you now :D


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    #81
    tallaght01
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,778 ✭✭✭tallaght01


    cuckoo wrote: »
    But....wearing a tracksuit could make her doubt the truth of your casual mention of '...the family castle back home in Ireland....'

    all the rich youth are wearing trackies these days. Fake-skanger is all the rage in malahide.
    board om wrote: »
    i was thinking about this afterwards and isnt it amazing that we immediatly assume that it will be the Man who gets outed as a pervert? nobody ever thinks that some woman is going to sit down and say something utterly nasty and that the man might have to reach for that pervert bell. and the reason this would never happen is becuase if a woman sat down and immediatly said something nasty, we would fcuking love it. roll on the speed dating. im excited for you now :D

    Mate, that is beautiful. If they would ever get off their arses and let us thank people in AH, I'd give you all 10 of mine for today :pac:

    In a non gay way obviously :P


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    #82
    ExoduS 18.11
    Closed Accounts Posts: 450 ✭✭ExoduS 18.11


    c - 13 wrote: »
    Alternatively sing this for them, how can they resist -
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BH4_mZh-bj8

    I wish i was more attractive like dagless..


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    #83
    rhapsody!
    Closed Accounts Posts: 529 ✭✭✭rhapsody!


    STD Inspector.


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    #84
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 8,016 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Ron Jeremy's close shot double. That'll work :p


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    #85
    Standard Toaster
    Registered Users Posts: 10,250 ✭✭✭✭Standard Toaster


    Easy....your a Gynaecologist


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