please help

gemmaS6988 · 20-04-2015 8:25am #1

Hi I'm 9 weeks pregnant and quite frustrated,.everyone is telling me I shouldn't be doing this or eating that what are your opinions is it ok to eat a soft egg chocolate sour jellies ice cream mayo tinned fish peanuts. Stretching to get something out of a high cupboard. Please tell me I'm getting so anxious I want to know from other pregnant mums this is my first

amdublin · 20-04-2015 8:29am

Your doctor should have told you what you can or can't eat.

Can yiu remember what they said to you?

Macha · 20-04-2015 8:39am

Hi there,

It can be a bit of a minefield. The NHS has a good explanation: http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/pregnancy-and-baby/pages/foods-to-avoid-pregnant.aspx

The thing to remember is that it's about reducing risk. It isn't that eating a piece of unpasteurised cheese will necessarily do any harm, it's that avoiding it lowers the risk of any harm being done. But to answer your specific queries from the NHS website (and bearing in mind you should talk to your GP about all this):
- soft egg: no, better to make sure it's fully cooked
- chocolate: yes! there's a small bit of caffeine in it but it's fine
- sour jellies: I can't see why not..
- ice cream: yes if store-bought, good source of calcium

- mayo: only store-bought pasteurised mayo, not home-made (where the eggs aren't cooked)
- tinned fish: yes, but if it's tinned tuna, try to keep it to four medium-sized cans of tinned tuna a week
- peanuts: yes, unless you're allergic to them

LegacyUser · 20-04-2015 8:43am

Being pregnant drove me nuts in some ways.

"Oh my god, you shouldn't be eating eggs/soft cheeses/drinking coffee/drinking wine (ok, maybe that's ok)/peanuts/tuna"...the list was endless. Don't pick that up, don't bend down, don't over-exercise, stay healthy.

And that was before the labour stories started. Every woman in my life told me their labour stories. They were never the "I had pain and then had the baby" stories. They were always long and complicated involving hours of agony, lots of doctor intervention etc, etc.

And lastly - if I had a euro for every time someone said to me "it's all ahead of you", I would be a millionaire. Possibly one of the most patronising, unhelpful things that you can say to a first-time mother. I admit, I sound like I'm over-reacting but honestly, what is the point of that phrase - particularly from people that are already parents. Sure it was all ahead of them too, and they survived didn't they?? It's not like I'm the first person to have a child ever....

Really though OP, I think people are just excited for you and trying to offer helpful advice. Myself, out of the things you listed, I'd mostly just ignore people's advise, except maybe on the mayonnaise and tinned fish. I believe there's research out there to indicate that eating nuts during pregnancy is now ok. I went with medical advice - avoided tuna, anything with raw egg in it, soft cheeses that might have been unpasteurised, shellfish and alcohol. I didn't drink coffee mostly because it made me ill. Otherwise I'd be a one cup a day kind of person, which isn't too bad. I did stretch a bit but as time went on, I did make an effort not to over-stretch if that makes sense. The body is surprisingly resilient though, so don't be afraid to get out and about walking etc, while you still can (before you get too big and awkward!!).

For what it's worth, my baby story consists of "I had contractions, then a few hours later I had the baby". Yes, it does happen that way too.

Just grin and bear the advice. Occasionally there is the odd gem, but generally speaking you can nod and smile, and continue with what you're doing. Good luck!!

gemmaS6988 · 20-04-2015 2:27pm

No i went back to him today asked him and load of questions. Got so sick of ppl telling me I couldn't or shouldn't I was beginning to feel isolated I suffer from stress and anxiety anyway and was just diagnosed with mild panic attacks. So to hear your opinions has put my mind at ease

tfak85 · 20-04-2015 2:39pm

I'm sorry to hear that peoples input is really bothering you so much gemma, I've learned (even as a midwife) that people cannot help themselves but pass comment and dish out "advice" on a continuous basis when you're pregnant.

Try your best to come up with a neutral response, do your own research and do what you feel is best for you and your unborn.

Two nice books I've read in my pregnancy are "Bumpology" and "The Gentlebirth Method". Both of neither may be helpful to you, check out reviews online and go from there.

Neyite · 20-04-2015 3:05pm

gemmaS6988 wrote: »

No i went back to him today asked him and load of questions. Got so sick of ppl telling me I couldn't or shouldn't I was beginning to feel isolated I suffer from stress and anxiety anyway and was just diagnosed with mild panic attacks. So to hear your opinions has put my mind at ease

Its part and parcel of pregnancy - moreso when you start to show, you'll have every eejit telling you stuff that you didn't ask to hear in the first place. People become very pass-remarkable. I was told my bump was huge the very same day someone else told me it was a lovely neat one.

it seemed some days everyone had an opinion on what I should and shouldn't be doing.

gemmaS6988 · 20-04-2015 4:55pm

Thank you so much I'm afraid I where my heart on my sleeve. I actually in Ireland should I be able to get them books here

cruais · 20-04-2015 5:02pm

My mum, even tho she is meaning her best is obsessed if anything remotely spicy comes near my plate.

She says it will bring on labour if im not careful. Im 4 months.

Its not everyday im having spicy tthings. im thinking maybe once a fortnight i have a curry

gemmaS6988 · 20-04-2015 5:17pm

I Google that before like crazy about eating spicy foods and apparently it's am old wives tale

gemmaS6988 · 20-04-2015 5:19pm

It's very annoying ppl don't realise that your hormones are all over the place and small things really do get to us but the thing is its ok for them to say you can or can't but there not the one who have to give up so much

gemmaS6988 · 20-04-2015 5:24pm

Thank you so much for your advice I will take it on board.

Neyite · 20-04-2015 5:28pm

It is an old wives tale -women have babies successfully in India don't they? Despite all the vindaloo they might eat? Say that to her. :P

A good book is What to Expect When You Are Expecting. Its factual and will cover any fear that you or your mother may have.

You do need to sit your mother down and be blunt with her that her fussing over you is stressful for you and that stress in your pregnancy is more of a concern to your doctors than a bit of curry powder might be. Especially if her fussing is stressing you to the point of panic attacks.

If necessary, your GP or midwife might be willing to have a strong word with her. And even if you do let it slide, there will be more old wives tales out of her after you have the baby. Some of those - like advice on overdressing the baby, feeding schedules, or sleep positioning has changed since her baby rearing days and are really important so you need to follow current recommended best practice.

So you might as well knock it on the head now, rather than trying when you are post partum.

John Mason · 21-04-2015 3:48pm

this is why i told very few people until i was 6 months.

the general public are gob****e.s :rolleyes:

my go to book was "what to expect when you are expecting"

You need to practice, your "smiling, in am interested, i promise face"

gemmaS6988 · 22-04-2015 8:40am

John Mason wrote:

You need to practice, your "smiling, in am interested, i promise face"

Thanks I know I didn't want to tell anyone for a while but my partner was so excited

gemmaS6988 · 06-05-2015 3:37pm

Hi so feeling much better now but starting to get a bit of a tooth ache someone once said that you can get free dental care how true is this I don't mind paying but if it spares me the stress then that's better x

Neyite · 06-05-2015 7:26pm

I think it might have been covered Gemma, but not anymore. In the UK or NI dental is free for mothers to be though.

gemmaS6988 · 25-07-2015 12:40am

Hey wisdom teeth are coming through and they are sore dentist can't do anything until I'm finished my pregnancy, can I use bonjela anbolsel or clove oil I'm guessing no but I'm desperate.

IvyTheTerrible · 25-07-2015 7:59am

gemmaS6988 wrote: »

Hey wisdom teeth are coming through and they are sore dentist can't do anything until I'm finished my pregnancy, can I use bonjela anbolsel or clove oil I'm guessing no but I'm desperate.

I'd ask your doctor or pharmacist.
One thing I found very helpful when I was expecting the last time was to always have a piece of paper or something to write on handy. Everytime you have a question or worry, write it down. That way, when you go to the doctor you won't forget anything you have to ask.

(I was very good with avoiding all the "forbidden" foods, until about 3 weeks before the end, when I had medium rare steak, a soft egg, and wine. I figured it was close enough to the end not to worry about it!)

zeffabelli · 25-07-2015 8:08am

gemmaS6988 wrote: »

Hey wisdom teeth are coming through and they are sore dentist can't do anything until I'm finished my pregnancy, can I use bonjela anbolsel or clove oil I'm guessing no but I'm desperate.

Pregnancy.... Suddenly you are public property and everyone's an expert. Just wait till you have the baby, it gets worse.

As for your teeth, see another dentist. I had to have four extractions due to hormonal influence.

It doesn't sound right that he won't take them out.

Little Miss Cutie · 25-07-2015 9:11am

I am the same, everything feels like a minefield!!

One thing I would say is I found the "what to expect book" really useful.

Regarding foods I just googled as if I wasn't sure. I know I did ask my GP about ice-cream and he said fine for regular ice-cream but no 99's or milkshakes with soft serve ice-cream. With the nice weather this is the thing I have missed most but he was so against it, I wouldn't chance it.

I am nearly 15 wks and only immediate family know as I reluctant to tell others for the fear of being public property!

lazygal · 25-07-2015 9:42am

gemmaS6988 wrote: »

Hey wisdom teeth are coming through and they are sore dentist can't do anything until I'm finished my pregnancy, can I use bonjela anbolsel or clove oil I'm guessing no but I'm desperate.

Go to another dentist. I know someone who had pretty extensive treatment during pregnancy. You can have chemo for goodness sake! So getting out wisdom teeth shouldn't be beyond the pale.

As for what to expect, it's a bit American. They're really cautious about everything. I stopped listening to all the should do and shouldn't do comments and was sensible, but I still ate smoked salmon, runny eggs and coleslaw from reliable sources and had the odd glass of wine. The advice changes even during the same pregnancy!

angeldelight · 25-07-2015 9:58am

I found the NHS website the best for things like that and more applicable to here. I had a medium rare steak the day I went in for induction, it was amazing

please help

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