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Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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    #3002
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Feel like crap today. Having to force myself to eat small amounts, just have no hunger. Seeing my psychiatrist tomorrow, hopefully she'll have some answers.


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    #3003
    Gillo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,566 ✭✭✭Gillo


    fintonagirl wrote: »
    Thanks a million folks, I really appreciate the fact of you taking time to give me feedback, especially when I know everyone here is going through their own stuff..

    It's much easier to give feedback to someone else then do the "right" things ourselves;)

    Seriously though, you got up and went to the shop, you achieved more today then you did yesterday, look at it that way. Hope it goes ok with the doc tomorrow.

    Personally, not really looking forward to tomorrow I've to go to a parent / teacher meeting which meets playing happy families with my ex for a bit, on the up side I'm meeting two friends tomorrow evening so something to look forward to.


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    #3004
    scrimshanker
    Closed Accounts Posts: 738 ✭✭✭scrimshanker


    today was every bit as bad as I thought it was going to be. couldnt get out of bed til after 4pm. did manage a shower, though, so i guses it could be worse. my housemate forced me out to the shop across the road, fgured I'd get cash out i need for tomorrow (wish I could cancel tomorrow) and the flipping atm was out of order. I feel like crying writing that. :(

    vaguely aware that my stomach is empty. Had a bowl of soup around 5 and some biscuits with a cup of tea but i just cant face the tought of making food when I am not even really hungry, just feel like I should stop being so flipping workshy and make the flipping dinner and go to work tomorrow but I can't face it :'(

    I've a huge weight on my chest today. Physically feels like it anyway. Suffocating. I'm not suicidal, but I don't want to live and every minute of today I've spent thinking how much better it'd be if I just topped myself. I hate this. I just hate it os much. So much. :(:(


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    #3005
    fintonagirl
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭fintonagirl


    Gillo wrote: »
    It's much easier to give feedback to someone else then do the "right" things ourselves;)

    Seriously though, you got up and went to the shop, you achieved more today then you did yesterday, look at it that way. Hope it goes ok with the doc tomorrow.

    Personally, not really looking forward to tomorrow I've to go to a parent / teacher meeting which meets playing happy families with my ex for a bit, on the up side I'm meeting two friends tomorrow evening so something to look forward to.

    well good luck with that.. hope its not too bad and that the thought of meeting up with your friends after makes it go bit easier


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    #3006
    fintonagirl
    Registered Users Posts: 46 ✭fintonagirl


    scrimshanker wrote: »
    today was every bit as bad as I thought it was going to be. couldnt get out of bed til after 4pm. did manage a shower, though, so i guses it could be worse. my housemate forced me out to the shop across the road, fgured I'd get cash out i need for tomorrow (wish I could cancel tomorrow) and the flipping atm was out of order. I feel like crying writing that. :(

    vaguely aware that my stomach is empty. Had a bowl of soup around 5 and some biscuits with a cup of tea but i just cant face the tought of making food when I am not even really hungry, just feel like I should stop being so flipping workshy and make the flipping dinner and go to work tomorrow but I can't face it :'(

    I've a huge weight on my chest today. Physically feels like it anyway. Suffocating. I'm not suicidal, but I don't want to live and every minute of today I've spent thinking how much better it'd be if I just topped myself. I hate this. I just hate it os much. So much. :(:(

    i really wish there was a hug button here... all I can say is what I've been telling myself. Better days are ahead. You won't always feel like this though it seems it now. Keep posting here and keep talking.

    I'm don't know what you've posted before but have you been to a doctor/ pscyologist, have you someone to talk to about how you are feeling?

    take care


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    #3007
    Aoifums
    Registered Users Posts: 1,126 ✭✭✭Aoifums


    Not feeling anxious today. Just numb and kinda gloomy.
    Not too sure what to do at the moment. Counselling is tomorrow and I'm still dreading it. I'm not sure if I should tell him that I'm not coping at all or to go see the college GP next week. I think it might be time for that :( Damned indecision.


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    #3008
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    Aoifums wrote: »
    Not feeling anxious today. Just numb and kinda gloomy.
    Not too sure what to do at the moment. Counselling is tomorrow and I'm still dreading it. I'm not sure if I should tell him that I'm not coping at all or to go see the college GP next week. I think it might be time for that :( Damned indecision.

    I would go and see the GP(and the counsellor). No need to risk anything, so to speak.


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    #3009
    Temaz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,758 ✭✭✭Temaz


    Fairly numb today due to sedating meds but I managed to head out for a while, buy stuff I didn't need. I dread the night time the most!


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    #3010
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Mood all over the place today. Happy one minute, low the next. :/


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    #3011
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    I had an appointment with my psych this morning. he said basically I'l be months more waiting to be seen there (it's already been 10 months) so my only option is to go somewhere and pay. I already told him I can't afford that. he gave me the names of two places to ring and talk to them about their sliding scale fees. doesn't matter how sliding scale they are, I can't afford it! why does that not mean anything to doctors!!

    he also printed out the name of a book on mindfulness, and said I should get reading it, even though I also told him I can't concentrate on chunks of text. i'd be better off hitting my head off a brick wall, I'd probably get more relief.

    he did agree to cutting down my meds at least.


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    #3012
    Gillo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,566 ✭✭✭Gillo


    stupidusername wrote: »

    he also printed out the name of a book on mindfulness, and said I should get reading it, even though I also told him I can't concentrate on chunks of text. i'd be better off hitting my head off a brick wall, I'd probably get more relief.

    he did agree to cutting down my meds at least.
    I read a book on mindfulness a while back which was very good, one of the things I liked was the chapters were all only two or three pages which made it easy to read.
    It's called "wherever you go, there you are" by Jon Kebat Zing (not sure how you spell his name), he's seen as the founder of modern day mindfulness and an excellent teacher in it.


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    #3013
    Kaching
    Registered Users Posts: 478 ✭✭Kaching


    No more psych for me


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    #3014
    crunchyogurt
    Registered Users Posts: 11 ✭crunchyogurt


    This is my first time posting. Ive had depression and anxiety problems since my early teens, Im 22 now. What started of as something mild has escalated over the years to something that is destroying me. The reason why Im posting is because I think Ive hit my lowest point. This is the worst Ive ever felt. Its a battle to just get through the day. Im in collage at the moment but Im more that likely going to be dropping out soon, partly because of these issues but theres more to it than that. I dont even know what to say at this stage, I cant keep going like this. I really need help but I dont know where to turn.


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    #3015
    Aoifums
    Registered Users Posts: 1,126 ✭✭✭Aoifums


    crunchyogurt wrote: »
    This is my first time posting. Ive had depression and anxiety problems since my early teens, Im 22 now. What started of as something mild has escalated over the years to something that is destroying me. The reason why Im posting is because I think Ive hit my lowest point. This is the worst Ive ever felt. Its a battle to just get through the day. Im in collage at the moment but Im more that likely going to be dropping out soon, partly because of these issues but theres more to it than that. I dont even know what to say at this stage, I cant keep going like this. I really need help but I dont know where to turn.

    I'm in more or less the exact same position. Every college has a counselling service and I think most of them have a subsidised GP service. There is help and while it's terrifying to ask for it, it's right there. I know in my college that there are extenuating circumstance forms that you can fill out if you need them. They can stop you failing a module/exam if you can't make it to college all the time.


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    #3016
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    Mood getting very low today. Met psychiatrist, went well, CBT and meds in my future.


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    #3017
    Aoifums
    Registered Users Posts: 1,126 ✭✭✭Aoifums


    I told the counsellor today that I wasn't coping at all. He brushed if off :(:mad: I thought last week that he was underestimating my problems and now I'm convinced of it. Fantastic :( I'm appreciating the irony now of how much I wanted to hurt myself as I walked out. Pity I didn't pick up on the humour 5 hours ago.


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    #3018
    crunchyogurt
    Registered Users Posts: 11 ✭crunchyogurt


    Aoifums wrote: »
    I'm in more or less the exact same position. Every college has a counselling service and I think most of them have a subsidised GP service. There is help and while it's terrifying to ask for it, it's right there. I know in my college that there are extenuating circumstance forms that you can fill out if you need them. They can stop you failing a module/exam if you can't make it to college all the time.

    I had a meeting the other day about how Im struggling and it was acually recomended that I book an appointent with the councling service. I feel I should do it but im a bit nervous, ive never had any kind of councling before. I dont really know what to expect.


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    #3019
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    crunchyogurt wrote: »
    I had a meeting the other day about how Im struggling and it was acually recomended that I book an appointent with the councling service. I feel I should do it but im a bit nervous, ive never had any kind of councling before. I dont really know what to expect.

    Don't be nervous about it (very hard to do!). It's pretty straightforward and will give you a chance to talk through some of your issues.


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    #3020
    Aoifums
    Registered Users Posts: 1,126 ✭✭✭Aoifums


    crunchyogurt wrote: »
    I had a meeting the other day about how Im struggling and it was acually recomended that I book an appointent with the councling service. I feel I should do it but im a bit nervous, ive never had any kind of councling before. I dont really know what to expect.

    Well fair play for having a meeting anyway :) I didn't either. I know I was able to fill out the initial form online which made the whole thing easier.


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    #3021
    Seren_
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,810 ✭✭✭Seren_


    stupidusername wrote: »
    I had an appointment with my psych this morning. he said basically I'l be months more waiting to be seen there (it's already been 10 months) so my only option is to go somewhere and pay. I already told him I can't afford that. he gave me the names of two places to ring and talk to them about their sliding scale fees. doesn't matter how sliding scale they are, I can't afford it! why does that not mean anything to doctors!!

    he also printed out the name of a book on mindfulness, and said I should get reading it, even though I also told him I can't concentrate on chunks of text. i'd be better off hitting my head off a brick wall, I'd probably get more relief.

    he did agree to cutting down my meds at least.

    That is ridiculous that you have to wait so long to see someone!! I remember hearing about some places that do counselling for free/cheap (like a tenner or something - I know it's not really cheap, but compared to full price it is). Maybe you could look those up?
    crunchyogurt wrote: »
    This is my first time posting. Ive had depression and anxiety problems since my early teens, Im 22 now. What started of as something mild has escalated over the years to something that is destroying me. The reason why Im posting is because I think Ive hit my lowest point. This is the worst Ive ever felt. Its a battle to just get through the day. Im in collage at the moment but Im more that likely going to be dropping out soon, partly because of these issues but theres more to it than that. I dont even know what to say at this stage, I cant keep going like this. I really need help but I dont know where to turn.

    If you think dropping out might help, do it. I did it two years ago when I couldn't cope (can't believe it was that long ago actually O_O), and it does make a lot of difference. Go and have a chat with the counselling service or GP at your college too, telling someone how you feel makes a world of difference. Things will get better xx
    Aoifums wrote: »
    I told the counsellor today that I wasn't coping at all. He brushed if off :(:mad: I thought last week that he was underestimating my problems and now I'm convinced of it. Fantastic :( I'm appreciating the irony now of how much I wanted to hurt myself as I walked out. Pity I didn't pick up on the humour 5 hours ago.

    Is there a different counsellor there you can see? It can take a few goes to find someone you can trust and work well with. I think I've seen every single counsellor at the service at my college at one time or another :p They don't care if you move around! Maybe make an appointment to see the GP too like you said in an earlier post, they might be more sympathetic. Just make sure you don't underestimate your problems *hug*

    I'm okay today. Did find it hard to get out of bed, but once I did I was alright kinda. Realising that it's two years since I first was diagnosed has kinda freaked me out a bit though. I thought I'd be better in a flash, but I'm still having bad days, in therapy and on meds now :/


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    #3022
    Aoifums
    Registered Users Posts: 1,126 ✭✭✭Aoifums


    Your Text Here wrote: »
    Is there a different counsellor there you can see? It can take a few goes to find someone you can trust and work well with. I think I've seen every single counsellor at the service at my college at one time or another :p They don't care if you move around! Maybe make an appointment to see the GP too like you said in an earlier post, they might be more sympathetic. Just make sure you don't underestimate your problems *hug*

    I'm not sure. I know I can switch counsellors but I'm really pessimistic about it. What is someone else going to do that he's not? So far it's just trying to find the cause but I really need to focus on the now. I think I'm going to have to. I don't really want to but I think it's time. And I don't think I am, just doing it when telling other people.


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    #3023
    RubyXI
    Registered Users Posts: 1,596 ✭✭✭RubyXI


    I often wonder what depression is. Like why do i feel sad for no reason? Why am i scared of the non-existant? Sometimes i wonder has something bad happened in a past life. Because it feels like something awful has happened to me but i have no idea what it is.


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    #3024
    nesf
    Registered Users Posts: 27,645 ✭✭✭✭nesf


    phi3 wrote: »
    I often wonder what depression is. Like why do i feel sad for no reason? Why am i scared of the non-existant? Sometimes i wonder has something bad happened in a past life. Because it feels like something awful has happened to me but i have no idea what it is.

    I don't have the concentration to give you a full answer but from what I've read:

    Our brains have a natural system for feeling low and fearing threats. When normal this system has many useful and important functions, including many related to socialising (i.e. we can feel bad when admonished for something etc) and keeping us safe (e.g. a fear of an angry dog, anxiety about dangerous activities etc). When depressed our brains go into a mode where this system is overactive and dominating the rest of the brain resulting in us feeling like ****, not being able to enjoy anything and being anxious about things that really aren't threats.

    I'm horribly oversimplifying and in parts could be very wrong but that's the best answer I can manage tonight with the way my head is.

    Edit: There's more stuff about reward systems in the brain breaking down being responsible for the lack of pleasure and similar but I'll go into it another night.


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    #3025
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    stupidusername wrote: »
    I had an appointment with my psych this morning. he said basically I'l be months more waiting to be seen there (it's already been 10 months) so my only option is to go somewhere and pay. I already told him I can't afford that. he gave me the names of two places to ring and talk to them about their sliding scale fees. doesn't matter how sliding scale they are, I can't afford it! why does that not mean anything to doctors!!

    he also printed out the name of a book on mindfulness, and said I should get reading it, even though I also told him I can't concentrate on chunks of text. i'd be better off hitting my head off a brick wall, I'd probably get more relief.

    he did agree to cutting down my meds at least.

    Why don't you try pieta house?


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    #3026
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Why don't you try pieta house?

    I'm not selfharming or suicidal most of the time,don't want to be taking up the space.plus your experience of them hasn't been great


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    #3027
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    stupidusername wrote: »
    I'm not selfharming or suicidal most of the time,don't want to be taking up the space.plus your experience of them hasn't been great

    Why how was your experience?


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    #3028
    jammstarr
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,805 ✭✭✭jammstarr


    I'm after heading away on holiday. I needed to just get away for a little while. Hopefully here the depression won't rear its ugly head and spoil it for me.


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    #3029
    Gillo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,566 ✭✭✭Gillo


    stupidusername wrote: »
    I'm not selfharming or suicidal most of the time,don't want to be taking up the space.plus your experience of them hasn't been great

    But I'm guessing by your post you are some of the time? it can't do any harm trying Pieta House. I often feel like that too, that I'm taking up my psych or her regs time when there must be more deserving cases- I can't think of the right way to put it but hey be selfish worry about yourself first.

    I'm glad to say my day has been the best I've had in a while, the meeting I was dreading went great (apparently my daughter is a bit of a genius), then I forced myself to go to the gym and then met my friends for a spot of climbing.


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    #3030
    stupidusername
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,762 ✭✭✭✭stupidusername


    cloud493 wrote: »
    Why how was your experience?

    I haven't had any experience with them.
    jammstarr wrote: »
    I'm after heading away on holiday. I needed to just get away for a little while. Hopefully here the depression won't rear its ugly head and spoil it for me.

    hoping the same for you too :)
    Gillo wrote: »
    But I'm guessing by your post you are some of the time? it can't do any harm trying Pieta House. I often feel like that too, that I'm taking up my psych or her regs time when there must be more deserving cases- I can't think of the right way to put it but hey be selfish worry about yourself first.

    I know what you mean, but still I don't think I could.


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    #3031
    cloud493
    Closed Accounts Posts: 11,835 ✭✭✭✭cloud493


    It won't be taking up their time. Your clearly a bit.. down, so to speak, suicidal at times, they'll be glad you saw them rather than doing anything silly.


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