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'Fag' and 'that's so gay' -- do they bother you?

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Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    Ash885 wrote: »
    I've no time for people who use the f*g word.

    If it's not meant to be offensive, you can still easily pick another substitute word to use. A word like that can cause a lot of discomfort for people and should be avoided, and you can tell a lot about a person if they use it quite casually.

    Nonsense. If I used that word casually, you wouldn't no sh1t about me.
    Ash885 wrote: »
    Whenever anyone uses wanker it's not to refer to someone as a masturbator...when someone uses fag it's a stab at that person's identity. Words change in meaning all the time.

    Not always. If someone uses the word fag casually without even realising it could possibly be taken as "he's a fag" meaning "he's gay that's why he's a prick" how is that a stab at their identity? Sure you said yourself words change all the time. What once was a stab at sexual orientation is now just another word for "dick" "prick" "asshole" etc.

    I think it's all about intent here. I know I would casually use slang words sometimes without intentionally meaning any harm. If someone stops me and says "hey listen, I know you just mean to say that person's annoying or a bit of a dickhead but I really take offence to the use of 'fag' or 'retard'" then of course I will stop saying it around them. If you know something causes offence and you still say it than you're just being an insensitive pr1ck.

    As a rule of thumb I try not to use any words that will be controversial but sometimes they just come out and in the majority of cases it's fine because the company I keep are rarely the PC type.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    By the way, as coincidence would have it, today is "Spread the Word to End The Word" day, which is a campaign to stop people using the word 'retard' and 'retarded' as it is hurtful to people with disabilities and their families. Have a look, and take the pledge. There are some great videos and articles on the site to explain why words matter, and a lot will be applicable to other minorities like us LGBT folks.

    http://www.r-word.org/


  • Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    Nonsense. If I used that word casually, you wouldn't no sh1t about me.



    Not always. If someone uses the word fag casually without even realising it could possibly be taken as "he's a fag" meaning "he's gay that's why he's a prick" how is that a stab at their identity? Sure you said yourself words change all the time. What once was a stab at sexual orientation is now just another word for "dick" "prick" "asshole" etc.

    I think it's all about intent here. I know I would casually use slang words sometimes without intentionally meaning any harm. If someone stops me and says "hey listen, I know you just mean to say that person's annoying or a bit of a dickhead but I really take offence to the use of 'fag' or 'retard'" then of course I will stop saying it around them. If you know something causes offence and you still say it than you're just being an insensitive pr1ck.

    As a rule of thumb I try not to use any words that will be controversial but sometimes they just come out and in the majority of cases it's fine because the company I keep are rarely the PC type.

    The very fact someone would use the term such as retard is startling. Just startling. People should know those terms, imho are off limits. I just think that society knows these terms have been used in the past for an unimaginable amount of hate propaganda, and to use them so casually is just a step in the wrong direction.

    Case in point a good friend of mine called a person with down syndrome a "retard", which left my other mate in tears as their brother has down syndrome. Now the person using the word was totally obvious to that, threw the word out casually at the television, and is none the wiser for the effect it caused. Is it out of the realm of possibility that that person, just really didn't need to say that?

    And from my own experience, the people who use it as casually as "hi, how are you?" etc. are people who I may come across, but thankfully not for long. At our sociology lectures in college we went in-depth at hypermasculinity and homophobia. The word fag has such a historical signifigance for gay people, a history rooted in hate, that to try and give the word a revival in lieu of "lame, crap, stupid" is just not worth it.

    What I'm trying to get at is sometimes it says more about the person who says it than who it's directed at. Oh and btw, I meant specifically sexual identity.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,207 ✭✭✭jaffacakesyum


    Ash885 wrote: »
    The very fact someone would use the term such as retard is startling. Just startling. People should know those terms, imho are off limits. I just think that society knows these terms have been used in the past for an unimaginable amount of hate propaganda, and to use them so casually is just a step in the wrong direction.

    Case in point a good friend of mine called a person with down syndrome a "retard", which left my other mate in tears as their brother has down syndrome. Now the person using the word was totally obvious to that, threw the word out casually at the television, and is none the wiser for the effect it caused. Is it out of the realm of possibility that that person, just really didn't need to say that?

    And from my own experience, use the people who use it as casually as "hi" etc. I do know, but thankfully not for long. At our sociology lectures in college we went in-depth at hypermasculinity and homophobia. The word fag has such a historical signifigance for gay people, a history rooted in hate, that to try and give the word a revival in lieu of "lame, crap, stupid" is just not worth it.

    What I'm trying to get at is sometimes it says more about the person than who it's directed at. Oh and btw, I meant specifically sexual identity.

    You're not using your own logic though. You said yourself words change all the time. 'Gay' once was used commonly to mean 'happy', 'bastard' and 'bitch' have other meanings which are very rarely used, they are more often than not used as a slag term. And that's just off the top of my head.

    You know absolutely nothing about me for example yet you claim you "can tell so much" about me simply because of a word or two that I don't find offensive but you do. I respect that you find it offensive and would never use it towards you or around you, but it's this whole "holier than thou" approach I hate when it comes to things like this.

    And as for the comment 'retard' towards a Down's syndrome person, of course that's totally out of order. Don't understand why anyone would say that. If I do something stupid and I'm around friends I sometimes curse myself by saying "ah I'm such a retard". When saying that, in describing my stupid behaviour, the comparisan or my stupid behavior to the behavior of someone with an intellectual disability never crosses my mind ONCE. The word "retard" in this example is used synonomously with "silly billy" "eejit" etc. etc.

    Not that I actually use the word "retard" often. I can probably count the number of times in my life I have actually used it. But I defend the right of anyone to use phrases like "that's so gay" "fag" "retard" in their personal lives or amongst friends or other people so long as they don't take offence to it. If they know it offends or hurts someone and then they keep using the particular phrase of course that's just nasty.

    Otherwise, I can come along and say I'm incredibly hurt and offended by the words "bull****" "asshole" "dickhead" therefore nobody should ever use those words around anyone at all.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 172 ✭✭ashers222


    Ash885 wrote: »
    The very fact someone would use the term such as retard is startling. Just startling. People should know those terms, imho are off limits. I just think that society knows these terms have been used in the past for an unimaginable amount of hate propaganda, and to use them so casually is just a step in the wrong direction.

    Case in point a good friend of mine called a person with down syndrome a "retard", which left my other mate in tears as their brother has down syndrome. Now the person using the word was totally obvious to that, threw the word out casually at the television, and is none the wiser for the effect it caused. Is it out of the realm of possibility that that person, just really didn't need to say that?

    And from my own experience, the people who use it as casually as "hi, how are you?" etc. are people who I may come across, but thankfully not for long. At our sociology lectures in college we went in-depth at hypermasculinity and homophobia. The word fag has such a historical signifigance for gay people, a history rooted in hate, that to try and give the word a revival in lieu of "lame, crap, stupid" is just not worth it.

    What I'm trying to get at is sometimes it says more about the person who says it than who it's directed at. Oh and btw, I meant specifically sexual identity.
    I was sitting with a friend of mine who was born with a form of muscular dystrophy in a pub one night when two bull dyke lesbians called him a retard in passing. (who's the retard) They made it very clear who they were talking about and went and had a laugh about it as they sat down. As it happens I worked with adults and children with both physical ad metal disabilities and would never associate the word retard with them. Fcuk knows I've met way too many retards in real life to even associate it with anything of the kind. They are generally ignorant people. (if it still pi$ses you off go and have a look at the definition of the word in the dictionary and you will see how appropriate it is)


    Can you see how intent is relevant.


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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,316 ✭✭✭Absoluvely


    Ash885 wrote: »
    The word fag has such a historical signifigance for gay people, a history rooted in hate, that to try and give the word a revival in lieu of "lame, crap, stupid" is just not worth it.

    It is startling, just startling, that you think lame is fair but fag is off-limits. You seem totally oblivious to the historical significance for physically disabled people.


  • Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    You're not using your own logic though. You said yourself words change all the time. 'Gay' once was used commonly to mean 'happy', 'bastard' and 'bitch' have other meanings which are very rarely used, they are more often than not used as a slag term. And that's just off the top of my head.

    You know absolutely nothing about me for example yet you claim you "can tell so much" about me simply because of a word or two that I don't find offensive but you do. I respect that you find it offensive and would never use it towards you or around you, but it's this whole "holier than thou" approach I hate when it comes to things like this.

    And as for the comment 'retard' towards a Down's syndrome person, of course that's totally out of order. Don't understand why anyone would say that. If I do something stupid and I'm around friends I sometimes curse myself by saying "ah I'm such a retard". When saying that, in describing my stupid behaviour, the comparisan or my stupid behavior to the behavior of someone with an intellectual disability never crosses my mind ONCE. The word "retard" in this example is used synonomously with "silly billy" "eejit" etc. etc.

    Not that I actually use the word "retard" often. I can probably count the number of times in my life I have actually used it. But I defend the right of anyone to use phrases like "that's so gay" "fag" "retard" in their personal lives or amongst friends or other people so long as they don't take offence to it. If they know it offends or hurts someone and then they keep using the particular phrase of course that's just nasty.

    Otherwise, I can come along and say I'm incredibly hurt and offended by the words "bull****" "asshole" "dickhead" therefore nobody should ever use those words around anyone at all.

    Pretty ironic, no, you're saying I'm judging you without knowing you, and yet you are calling me a "holier than thou?" person? Nah mate, I'm very sorry if I'm coming across that way. I completely understand where you're coming from, and if it were any other word I'd be fighting your corner but I just hav such hatred for that particular word. I just think it's evil..if a word can be evil...and yes that's probably due to the power I've given it, but when you've grown up with that word slurred at you, you just can't stand it.

    What I mean about telling about someone refers to men in particular. Eminem once defended his use of term fag by stating he wasn't attacking homosexuals in particular, rather attacking someone's "manhood", making them a lesser and attacking their manliness. That's how I see the word developing; lame, not a real man, lacking something. But can you not see how, if someone used that term, you can attribute to both it's orignal meaning, and link that to the present one? Ergo, "You fag", "That looks faggy"; "You're inferior, a lesser".


  • Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    Absoluvely wrote: »
    It is startling, just startling, that you think lame is fair but fag is off-limits. You seem totally oblivious to the historical significance for physically disabled people.

    When I used the term "lame" it was paraphrasing what the consensus use not my own use. Read my post again, it was within the " ". Sorry that wasn't clear. And f.y.i, I work with differently able-bodied people everyday as part of my job.

    Anyway, back to the OP message of if "fag" "that's so gay" words bothered me. It does. Sadly it does. And I totally appreciate your view that intent is important, but for me personally, and it's just me, I don't like it. And I'm not trying to prohibit the word, stop people from using it, I just ask questions on it.

    One thing I suppose I've learned from here is that English...is a complicated language O_O


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭bodice ripper


    is cocksucker out too?


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,316 ✭✭✭Absoluvely


    is cocksucker out too?

    I wouldn't be offended if someone called me a cocksucker :rolleyes:


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    Ashers222 said
    I was sitting with a friend of mine who was born with a form of muscular dystrophy in a pub one night when two bull dyke lesbians called him a retard in passing.

    I know loads of women who are comfortable with the word Lesbian and are happy to identify as such. I also have many friends who identify proudly as dykes.
    The term bull dyke however is usually reserved as a specially disparaging term, used to describe a lesbian as not like other lesbians, being much more unatractive and having laughably masculine charachteristics.
    http://http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bull%20dyke
    Definition of BULL DYKE
    often disparaging
    : an aggressively masculine lesbian

    Bull dyke is not always a disparaging term, again the term bull dyke is one of those descriptions that has been thrown at people in order to laugh at them but is being reclaimed by a few women.
    You can take any word, I think, and if you look at the characteristics that the term is trying to be critical of, be it ones creativity or assertiveness or flamboyance or stroppiness etc, you can say f**k that Im not ashamed of those qualities Im proud of them and you can reclaim the word. Bull dyke lesbian is not a term I hear reclaimed in Ireland, but I may be out of touch in certain circles, the positive reclaiming of the term seems to be more of an american thing. In Ireland I have only heard it used to describe lesbians someone doesnt like.

    Ive been identifying as a dyke for years and I dont even hear the word as anything other than a proud term , perhaps because among my friends and the people I socialize with, we have a fairly common understanding and experience of the word. I know dyke is often used in a very derogatory way and I think like any other word, you can usually sense if its being used like that by the tone of voice and in the context.

    So was it necessary Ashers222 to qualify the lesbians, as badly behaved as they were, as "bull dyke lesbians" in effect doing yourself the very thing you were not happy about them doing to your friend.
    And if name calling is all down to how the person is behaving at the time, would it be ok to describe your friend as a "retard" if he was behaving badly and the person argued that the term just described how your friend was behaving not what they thought of him.
    Maybe you know the women and know that they identify as bull dyke lesbians and wouldnt mind you describing them as such publicly. Is this the case?
    Women dont usually identify as dyke lesbians. The term dyke is more than enough, a dyke is a kind of lesbian. Not all lesbians call themselves dykes.

    It would be a shame if you thought it wasnt ok to use hurtful derogatory terms to describe any other group of people but lesbians were fair game.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6,048 ✭✭✭Da Shins Kelly


    Simon Amstell's humorous take on the Katy Perry song 'You're So Gay', which is kind of related to this discussion.



  • Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    Ambersky wrote: »
    I know loads of women who are comfortable with the word Lesbian and are happy to identify as such. I also have many friends who identify proudly as dykes.
    The term bull dyke however is usually reserved as a specially disparaging term, used to describe a lesbian as not like other lesbians, being much more unatractive and having laughably masculine charachteristics.
    http://http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bull%20dyke


    Bull dyke is not always a disparaging term, again the term bull dyke is one of those descriptions that has been thrown at people in order to laugh at them but is being reclaimed by a few women.
    You can take any word, I think, and if you look at the characteristics that the term is trying to be critical of, be it ones creativity or assertiveness or flamboyance or stroppiness etc, you can say f**k that Im not ashamed of those qualities Im proud of them and you can reclaim the word. Bull dyke lesbian is not a term I hear reclaimed in Ireland, but I may be out of touch in certain circles, the positive reclaiming of the term seems to be more of an american thing. In Ireland I have only heard it used to describe lesbians someone doesnt like.

    Ive been identifying as a dyke for years and I dont even hear the word as anything other than a proud term , perhaps because among my friends and the people I socialize with, we have a fairly common understanding and experience of the word. I know dyke is often used in a very derogatory way and I think like any other word, you can usually sense if its being used like that by the tone of voice and in the context.

    So was it necessary Ash885 to qualify the lesbians, as badly behaved as they were, as "bull dyke lesbians" in effect doing yourself the very thing you were not happy about them doing to your friend.
    And if name calling is all down to how the person is behaving at the time, would it be ok to describe your friend as a "retard" if he was behaving badly and the person argued that the term just described how your friend was behaving not what they thought of him.
    Maybe you know the women and know that they identify as bull dyke lesbians and wouldnt mind you describing them as such publicly. Is this the case?

    It would be a shame if you thought it wasnt ok to use hurtful derogatory terms to describe any other group of people but lesbians were fair game.

    Please read the topic!!? I didn't say that at all??? o.O You actually quoted another person, and stuck my name to the top of it....so...

    p.s. I agree with your answer!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,220 ✭✭✭Ambersky


    Soooo sorry Ash885 I will correct that misquote I will put the correct name in the quote immediately.
    Just goes to show its not personal though.:o
    And thanks for the ps..............

    Just corrected that but in fairness I was quoting Ashers222 quoting and responding to Ash885 whats with all this ash and numbers all of a sudden?


  • Registered Users Posts: 639 ✭✭✭Ash885


    Ah you're fine, don't worry about it! :D You're right though, when I checked back over it I went "God! I don't remember typing that?! Frick!?". Haha, blurry vision from the contacts. Not a clue why the name, somewhere I'm trying to follow a trend! :P

    Was a very good point though! Gosh this whole thing really does make me think long and hard about it all! Nice to see different views on it.


  • Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 4,126 Mod ✭✭✭✭Locker10a


    I don't really understand how hard it is to realise that words hurt people. The majority of people I know who are hurt by hearing something unpleasant called a word that could also easily be applied to describe them don't 'decide' to be hurt. They just are.

    I have many friends with intellectual disabilities. When they hear someone saying that something is "retarded" or that someone is a "retard", that hurts them. Deeply. My girlfriends Mum and many members of her family have disabilities. She is incredibly hurt by that word, because it's derogatory. Why would anyone want to use words THEY KNOW will hurt someone else? I really don't believe anyone over the age of 6 or 7 doesn't know what these words mean, or meant historically. They know that something that is "gay" or "retarded" is bad or stupid. I am honestly flabbergasted as to how some people don't understand. I actually think they don't want to understand, because it would mean taking a long hard look at themselves and their attitudes to minorities.

    Ya i know that! If someone called me a fag or I heard them call me it behind my back yes it would up set me too, but what im trying to say it the reason i would be upset is because I've grown up knowing that that word should trigger and emotion and cause offence! It has always amused me that certain words are "bad" , I didnt understand it as a child! What exactly made them bad? Why exactly was Fu*k such a bad word never to be used by children? Because society said so! "It just is" was usually the answer given to me when i asked Why? !!
    So I'm not saying people wouldn't be offended by certain words, all I'm saying is the reason we are is because we are conditioned to be!


  • Registered Users Posts: 40,549 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    Locker10a wrote: »
    Ya i know that! If someone called me a fag or I heard them call me it behind my back yes it would up set me too, but what im trying to say it the reason i would be upset is because I've grown up knowing that that word should trigger and emotion and cause offence! It has always amused me that certain words are "bad" , I didnt understand it as a child! What exactly made them bad? Why exactly was Fu*k such a bad word never to be used by children? Because society said so! "It just is" was usually the answer given to me when i asked Why? !!
    So I'm not saying people wouldn't be offended by certain words, all I'm saying is the reason we are is because we are conditioned to be!

    We're also often offended because people deliberately mean to offend us.

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,441 ✭✭✭old hippy


    Absoluvely wrote: »
    It doesn't bother me that people call other people fags.

    It doesn't bother me that people call other people **** either.

    Or clowns.



    Some people are gay, some people are clowns, and some people are **** :rolleyes:

    What's the difference?


    Clowns and **** are not historically oppressed or discriminated against, or executed in some countries, afaik...


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,681 ✭✭✭bodice ripper


    controlling what people can say: not good
    controlling the evolution of language: not possible


  • Registered Users Posts: 40,549 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    controlling what people can say: not good
    controlling the evolution of language: not possible

    who mentioned control?

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



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  • Registered Users Posts: 219 ✭✭eaglach


    I've noticed a strange thing recently. I came out to a few friends a while ago. Before that I would always say people/things are "gay" or "faggy" or something along those lines. My friends did too. I had no problem with it. But when I came out, I made it clear to my friends that I had no problem with them saying things like that.

    But now, anytime my friends say those sort of things around me I feel uncomfortable. I understand why they are saying it, and I don't mind the whole culture of it, but for some reason I just get awkward. Maybe it's me subconsciously thinking "oh ****, did he forget I was here".


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 172 ✭✭ashers222


    Ambersky wrote: »
    I know loads of women who are comfortable with the word Lesbian and are happy to identify as such. I also have many friends who identify proudly as dykes.
    The term bull dyke however is usually reserved as a specially disparaging term, used to describe a lesbian as not like other lesbians, being much more unatractive and having laughably masculine charachteristics.
    http://http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/bull%20dyke


    Bull dyke is not always a disparaging term, again the term bull dyke is one of those descriptions that has been thrown at people in order to laugh at them but is being reclaimed by a few women.
    You can take any word, I think, and if you look at the characteristics that the term is trying to be critical of, be it ones creativity or assertiveness or flamboyance or stroppiness etc, you can say f**k that Im not ashamed of those qualities Im proud of them and you can reclaim the word. Bull dyke lesbian is not a term I hear reclaimed in Ireland, but I may be out of touch in certain circles, the positive reclaiming of the term seems to be more of an american thing. In Ireland I have only heard it used to describe lesbians someone doesnt like.

    Ive been identifying as a dyke for years and I dont even hear the word as anything other than a proud term , perhaps because among my friends and the people I socialize with, we have a fairly common understanding and experience of the word. I know dyke is often used in a very derogatory way and I think like any other word, you can usually sense if its being used like that by the tone of voice and in the context.

    So was it necessary Ashers222 to qualify the lesbians, as badly behaved as they were, as "bull dyke lesbians" in effect doing yourself the very thing you were not happy about them doing to your friend.
    And if name calling is all down to how the person is behaving at the time, would it be ok to describe your friend as a "retard" if he was behaving badly and the person argued that the term just described how your friend was behaving not what they thought of him.
    Maybe you know the women and know that they identify as bull dyke lesbians and wouldnt mind you describing them as such publicly. Is this the case?
    Women dont usually identify as dyke lesbians. The term dyke is more than enough, a dyke is a kind of lesbian. Not all lesbians call themselves dykes.

    It would be a shame if you thought it wasnt ok to use hurtful derogatory terms to describe any other group of people but lesbians were fair game.
    it was intended to be. (I don't really have any feelings for how it might affect them at all, you might deduce from this that they inflicted a great deal of suffering and for as long as I live will always associate what they are with who they are. I'm pretty sure that was their intention after all. Horrible fcuking people. )


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭lahalane


    I dont call people gay just things or situations. Maybe that doesnt make it ok to say it but Im used to it now so Im not gonna change. Not because Im not able but because I dont want to.


  • Registered Users Posts: 40,549 ✭✭✭✭Annasopra


    lahalane wrote: »
    I dont call people gay just things or situations. Maybe that doesnt make it ok to say it but Im used to it now so Im not gonna change. Not because Im not able but because I dont want to.

    It doesn't

    It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault. If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be. I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. No one ever thinks of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the bad things.

    Terry Pratchet



  • Registered Users Posts: 886 ✭✭✭brownej


    I really can't understand the argument of "words change meaning all the time" in this context.
    Here we have a word that in its primary mainstream usage is an adjective or noun to describe things homosexual.
    This word has now been deliberately taken and used as an adjective in a neagtive and pejorative context to describe something generically as being bad.
    Rather than changing the meaning of the word to mean bad you are ascribing the primary usage of the word as meaning generically something bad. i.e. being gay or acting gay is bad.
    This is not cool.

    One might say that the word "Fag" can be a pejorative term for gay or a cigarette. This is true and is an example of a word having two meanings. The test for this is that one can tell in context what is meant.
    Using gay as a descriptive term for something bad and something homosexual is not easy to distinguish in conversation or context so the argument of the word having a different meaning is not valid as one cannot easily tell.

    The other meaning of "Gay" as being a term to descibe "happy" has fallen out of common usage almost completely and can be ignored as a valid meaning for this argument.

    The use of gay as a pejorative term for something bad if it is not used as a slur against gay people is just lazy and insensitive as it is damagaing to people who cannot tell the difference. This lack of consideration and general level of ignorance says more about the person using the term then those who take offense at it.

    The video linked to by Mango in post number 46 descibes the situation very well and should be viewed by anyone who thinks using "gay" as a negative adjective is acceptable.


  • Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 9,441 ✭✭✭old hippy


    lahalane wrote: »
    I dont call people gay just things or situations. Maybe that doesnt make it ok to say it but Im used to it now so Im not gonna change. Not because Im not able but because I dont want to.

    Nothing like a bit of bloody mindedness, eh? It's like the folk who insist on using racial slurs - despite being told that it's offensive. But no; they've always used it & anyway - isn't it just pc gone mad etc etc ad nauseum :mad:


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭lahalane


    I wouldn't be too worried about people who get offended by words to be honest. If I called them gay then fair enough. If they are taking offence because I say that my car is gay when it doesn't start...well then I don't really give a ****. Frankly if it's stuff like that that's worrying them, they aren't exactly having a hard time of it.


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,512 ✭✭✭baby and crumble


    I see a lot of posts on this thread talking about people "getting offended" or "taking offence" at certain words being used. What about people who are genuinely hurt and upset by those words? Because I think people use the phrase "get offended" or "taking offence" like it's a choice people have, and that it's really their fault for being so sensitive. But some words genuinely hurt people and make them feel 'less than' others.

    Do people really think that constantly hearing people use the word 'gay' to describe something negative won't hurt some gay people?

    I'm certainly not going to tell someone they can't use certain words. I just think it might be useful if people actually thought about the words they use, and what effect it might have on other people. That's all.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 954 ✭✭✭lahalane


    Well I'm not loud and obnoxious enough to be overheard by these possible gay people and even if I am, they shouldn't be eavesdropping. Lots of things that people say can make me feel like **** too but I don't let it get to me. I have enough things to be worried about without dealing with what some stranger or person I don't really care about says that 'grinds my gears'. I know that's not how it works with everybody and some people will be unhappy but I can't be worrying about them people. You can't please everybody. I never intentionally try to upset someone and that's the best I'm willing to offer.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 90 ✭✭Emz93


    eaglach wrote: »
    I've noticed a strange thing recently. I came out to a few friends a while ago. Before that I would always say people/things are "gay" or "faggy" or something along those lines. My friends did too. I had no problem with it. But when I came out, I made it clear to my friends that I had no problem with them saying things like that.

    But now, anytime my friends say those sort of things around me I feel uncomfortable. I understand why they are saying it, and I don't mind the whole culture of it, but for some reason I just get awkward. Maybe it's me subconsciously thinking "oh ****, did he forget I was here".


    Literally feel the exact same way!


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