Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all,
Vanilla are planning an update to the site on April 24th (next Wednesday). It is a major PHP8 update which is expected to boost performance across the site. The site will be down from 7pm and it is expected to take about an hour to complete. We appreciate your patience during the update.
Thanks all.

What is "normal/average" access for my child's father to get after seperation?

  • 18-08-2015 11:21pm
    #1
    Sarahjaneg
    Registered Users Posts: 1 ✭


    I split up with my son's dad after being together for 10 years and living together for nine. My son is almost 6. About 6 months ago we split up and initially he said he would move out of our family home and rent. After several weeks he decided he was going nowhere and was causing arguments on a regular basis that I did not want to either subject my son to or live with. It was June and I decided I needed to move as he was adamant he wasn't. My family and where I grew up is about 20 mins from our house and unable to afford rent with no savings I decided after one argument too many and jnowing i couldnt face another year in our home as my son was in a local school to enlist my son in school near his family and lucky enough he was accepted. I moved in with my brother and his 2 kids into a single box room near my son's new school and he is starting in sept. My ex now wants access of every second full weekend 6 pm fri to 6 pm Sunday and 1 night the other weekend. Also weds 4 -7. I always encouraged access and suggested every weds 4-7 and one night and day at the weekend rotated from Fri to sat each week.
    I've always been the caregiver etc of my son since birth ie doing everything 24/7 and he has never been a very hands on dad unless pushed.
    I feel this is too much for to ask as I know it's for show rather than for love. He's said this in arguments. I think it's to get at me.
    Just wondering what the "norm" is when it comes to access for dad's. ... I will do everything I can to encourage and give acces but feel this is too much.
    Thanks and sorry for the essay.....
    A very stressed, emotional mam.


Comments

  • #2
    desbrook
    Registered Users Posts: 1,847 ✭✭✭desbrook


    First off as you were living together for so long and had a child you actually had some family law protection for your home I IMAGINE under the Civil Partnership and Certain Rights and Obligations of Cohabitants Act 2010 . You need legal advice on this !!!

    http://www.irishstatutebook.ie/2010/en/act/pub/0024/index.html

    Secondly there is no norm as to what access a dad is entitled to. However every second weekend and a single overnight eg. every Tues is very common for the district family law courts to order. This is only slightly less than what he's asking for and slightly more than what you mention !! You guys are actually not that far apart.

    I'd be concentrating on getting my home back for my child. you guys can't stay in a box room forever - six year olds grow very fast.


  • #3
    braceface
    Registered Users Posts: 80 ✭✭braceface


    First of all, so sorry for what you are going through. We all know it's not easy. As desbrook said, there really is no norm as situations vary widely depending on if each party is working, their hours of work and the distance between the two homes. In my experience every second weekend is very common.

    Absolutely get legal advice ASAP in regards to your living situation. If you are the primary caregiver you should be in the family home


Advertisement