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scrimshanker · 21-05-2013, 15:54

Been in a bit of a state, not sleeping and so on. Spent the day panicing. Managed to get a quick appointment with doctor. Got somethng that will hopefully calme me down. Fingers crossed.

scrimshanker · 21-05-2013, 18:16

Xanax kicked in... Little bit drowsy but much, much calmer. I feel like myself for the first time in a very long time. I think I'll have to follow this up properly, I hadn't realised just how off I'd been until this kicked in and I actually relaxed. It's kind of a sudden requirement to be able to calm down so the doctor was okay with prescribing, but wants me to engage in some counselling or CBT. I hadn't liked counselling before but I'll give it another go. I wouldn't be so dead set against medication either if I needed it to be able to engage with counselling/CBT. I know my problems are so small compared to so many of you here, there isn't even any reason for me to be so depressed/anxious/stressed, but I find posting here now and then helps a little. Hope you don't all mind.

want to disappear · 21-05-2013, 19:54

Decided to do an aerobics class thought it would help me with the social anxiety. (I would be with people but not have to make conversation).

The teacher stopped the class half way and singled me out to give me easier exercises while the rest of the class just watched. I could feel the tears starting (I'm painfully shy, and being singled out like that was just a bit to much). I just had to walk out

Hersheys · 22-05-2013, 10:09

Another day, another f**king suicide. Obviously I'm upset about the death of a colleague but the worst thing was the reaction of another. She knows I've depression and suicide ideation and she uttered the line "see how bad you feel that XXX killed herself? That's how you would make people feel if you did it"

GAH!!!!!

phi3 · 22-05-2013, 10:21

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hersheys

Another day, another f**king suicide. Obviously I'm upset about the death of a colleague but the worst thing was the reaction of another. She knows I've depression and suicide ideation and she uttered the line "see how bad you feel that XXX killed herself? That's how you would make people feel if you did it"

GAH!!!!!

That's awful. It's really hard when people say things like that. But the bottom line is that they just don't understand. People seem to think that it's a choice to be depressed or to be suicidal. Even people who think they understand tend to say things like "I know how you feel but if you just try to be optimistic you'll be fine" And ya do feel like slapping them around the head. If you could just decide to be happy and optimistic, depression wouldn't exist at all. It's not a life choice. It's bloody hard.

Hersheys · 22-05-2013, 10:28

Ignorance when it comes to mental health issues is unreal... But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!!

Kaching · 22-05-2013, 11:20

its like when you were younger and scraped your knee , and someone says you'll be better before you're married ...wtf?

Hersheys · 22-05-2013, 11:23

Ah in my house it was "better before you're twice married" - I guess it's the single parent thing in Dublin

Hersheys · 22-05-2013, 23:41

Ok. So that whole person killing herself has kinda sunk in now that I'm all alone in bed. I ain't a happy camper.

Vuzuggu · Yesterday, 13:20

I've been going up and down recently. Before Christmas, I wasn't on any medication and I was really bad. I remember at night feeling trapped and in mental pain. It's so hard to describe the pain as it seems counter intuitive that you could have physical (mental) pain. I don't even know how to describe it but I just it was the worst pain I have ever felt, much worse then my appendix.

Since then, I have been put on Lamictal 100mg and it seems to be working, my mood swings have been less severe but they still do happen. At night, I still at times wait by my phone for replies and when I get the text I get a sudden feeling of calmness. It's all very strange. Been doing loads of tests on queendom.com which I have found really interesting. Got the full reports which offer advice which I think will help. Been going to counselling as well recently, and really like my new counselor. We've worked out what is wrong with me but also why/what caused it which I found hugely helpful. Still got a long way to go, I still have little motivation or enjoyment from what I used to love to do. Every so often I get a wave of hopelessness but I am slowly getting there. I really wish there was a quick fix. I feel like I am wasting my life and my college years.

Hersheys · Yesterday, 15:27

Bad day today. Awful urges to cut even though things should be (are) positive for me! I haven't got to the phase of "what should I do when I want to cut" with the therapist yet. I'm just really edgy, I could take something for it but I need to be alert. Gah!

scrimshanker · Yesterday, 23:59

it's been a tough week and it's been rounded off being robbed

So much stress, need to start making reports and insurance phone calls tomorrow. Wasn't up to it today. I was just relaxing after the worst of the week, thinking I might maybe, potentially, actually get a proper nights sleep. Why are people so... mean?

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21-05-2013, 15:54	#7651
scrimshanker Registered User Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 21 Adverts \| Friends	Been in a bit of a state, not sleeping and so on. Spent the day panicing. Managed to get a quick appointment with doctor. Got somethng that will hopefully calme me down. Fingers crossed.

21-05-2013, 18:16	#7652
scrimshanker Registered User Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 21 Adverts \| Friends	Xanax kicked in... Little bit drowsy but much, much calmer. I feel like myself for the first time in a very long time. I think I'll have to follow this up properly, I hadn't realised just how off I'd been until this kicked in and I actually relaxed. It's kind of a sudden requirement to be able to calm down so the doctor was okay with prescribing, but wants me to engage in some counselling or CBT. I hadn't liked counselling before but I'll give it another go. I wouldn't be so dead set against medication either if I needed it to be able to engage with counselling/CBT. I know my problems are so small compared to so many of you here, there isn't even any reason for me to be so depressed/anxious/stressed, but I find posting here now and then helps a little. Hope you don't all mind.

21-05-2013, 19:54	#7653
want to disappear Registered User Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 11 Adverts \| Friends	Decided to do an aerobics class thought it would help me with the social anxiety. (I would be with people but not have to make conversation). The teacher stopped the class half way and singled me out to give me easier exercises while the rest of the class just watched. I could feel the tears starting (I'm painfully shy, and being singled out like that was just a bit to much). I just had to walk out

22-05-2013, 10:09	#7654
Hersheys Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 848 Adverts \| Friends	Another day, another f**king suicide. Obviously I'm upset about the death of a colleague but the worst thing was the reaction of another. She knows I've depression and suicide ideation and she uttered the line "see how bad you feel that XXX killed herself? That's how you would make people feel if you did it" GAH!!!!!

22-05-2013, 10:28	#7656
Hersheys Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 848 Adverts \| Friends	Ignorance when it comes to mental health issues is unreal... But what doesn't kill us makes us stronger!!

22-05-2013, 11:20	#7657
Kaching Registered User Join Date: Dec 2011 Posts: 451 Adverts \| Friends	its like when you were younger and scraped your knee , and someone says you'll be better before you're married ...wtf?

22-05-2013, 11:23	#7658
Hersheys Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 848 Adverts \| Friends	Ah in my house it was "better before you're twice married" - I guess it's the single parent thing in Dublin

22-05-2013, 23:41	#7659
Hersheys Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 848 Adverts \| Friends	Ok. So that whole person killing herself has kinda sunk in now that I'm all alone in bed. I ain't a happy camper.

Yesterday, 13:20	#7660
Vuzuggu Registered User Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Dublin Posts: 1,023 Adverts \| Friends	I've been going up and down recently. Before Christmas, I wasn't on any medication and I was really bad. I remember at night feeling trapped and in mental pain. It's so hard to describe the pain as it seems counter intuitive that you could have physical (mental) pain. I don't even know how to describe it but I just it was the worst pain I have ever felt, much worse then my appendix. Since then, I have been put on Lamictal 100mg and it seems to be working, my mood swings have been less severe but they still do happen. At night, I still at times wait by my phone for replies and when I get the text I get a sudden feeling of calmness. It's all very strange. Been doing loads of tests on queendom.com which I have found really interesting. Got the full reports which offer advice which I think will help. Been going to counselling as well recently, and really like my new counselor. We've worked out what is wrong with me but also why/what caused it which I found hugely helpful. Still got a long way to go, I still have little motivation or enjoyment from what I used to love to do. Every so often I get a wave of hopelessness but I am slowly getting there. I really wish there was a quick fix. I feel like I am wasting my life and my college years.

Yesterday, 15:27	#7661
Hersheys Registered User Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 848 Adverts \| Friends	Bad day today. Awful urges to cut even though things should be (are) positive for me! I haven't got to the phase of "what should I do when I want to cut" with the therapist yet. I'm just really edgy, I could take something for it but I need to be alert. Gah!

Yesterday, 23:59	#7662
scrimshanker Registered User Join Date: Jan 2012 Posts: 21 Adverts \| Friends	it's been a tough week and it's been rounded off being robbed So much stress, need to start making reports and insurance phone calls tomorrow. Wasn't up to it today. I was just relaxing after the worst of the week, thinking I might maybe, potentially, actually get a proper nights sleep. Why are people so... mean?