Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

Win tickets for Dara O' Briain, David O' Doherty, Maeve Higgins and more in Vicar St

  • 22-06-2010 2:46pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,241 ✭✭✭


    Hey all

    This Saturday night, June 25, there's an amazing line-up of comedians in DUblin's Vicar Street in aid of Temple Street Children's Hospital.

    Dara O'Briain, Hector O hEochagain, Maeve Higgins, David O Doherty, Jarlath Regan, Dermot Whelan, Fred Cooke, Eric Lawlor, Eleanor Tiernan and more are on the line-up.

    laugh_o_loud_new_logo.jpg

    Tickets are €28 and can be bought online here.

    We've bought 4 tickets to give away - so we have two pairs of two to offer as prizes.

    All you have to do is post your favourite joke for children below.

    Keep them clean! We'll pick the winners on Friday afternoon and let you know if you've won! Your submission may not appear straight away, but don't worry, it's not lost. No cash alternative offered. Judges decision is final.

    Best of luck to all the comedians participating, and enjoy!

    Darragh


«1345

Comments

  • Registered Users Posts: 6,220 ✭✭✭20 Times 20 Times


    My joke is VERY SIMPLE :-(


    Why is it hard to play cards in the jungle?
    There are too many cheetahs!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,600 ✭✭✭00112984


    Q. How do you stop a rabbit digging a hole in your garden?

    A. Take away his shovel :D


  • Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 5,758 Mod ✭✭✭✭irish_goat


    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]What do you get if you cross a road with a safari park ?






    Double yellow lions !

    :pac:
    [/FONT]


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,853 ✭✭✭messrs


    Teacher: Why can't you ever answer any of my questions ?
    Pupil: Well if I could there wouldn't be much point in me being here !


  • Registered Users Posts: 102 ✭✭BrandonFlowers


    how do you know an elephants been in your fridge?

    there's footprints in your butter!! boom boom


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 3,495 ✭✭✭Lu Tze


    Did you hear about the magic tractor?

    It turned into a field :o


  • Registered Users Posts: 102 ✭✭BrandonFlowers


    oh and whats black and white and eats like a horse?

    a zebra!


  • Registered Users Posts: 379 ✭✭jim_bob


    what did the Ghost say to the bee ?

    Boo Bee


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,382 ✭✭✭Motley Crue


    Q: Why did the boy blush when he opened the fridge?
    A: He saw the salad dressing!


  • Registered Users Posts: 116 ✭✭annainez


    'May I go to the toilet?' a boy asked his teacher.
    'If you can say the alphabet' the teacher replied.
    The boy recited the alphabet ABCDEFGHIJKLMNO QRSTUVWXYZ
    The teacher said 'Where's the P?'
    -'Half way down my leg!'

    :L


  • Advertisement
  • Closed Accounts Posts: 35 LMGB


    what do sheep do on sunny days?

    have a baa baa cue


  • Registered Users Posts: 34 Driven4aLivin


    Q. How do you tease fruit?

    A. Banananananananana!


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,908 ✭✭✭LostinBlanch


    Q: What's big read and eats rocks?
    A: A big red rock eater.

    Q: What's big, red and eats sand?
    A: A big red rock eater on a diet!


  • Registered Users Posts: 424 ✭✭SinisterDexter


    What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?


    A walkie talkie!


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,598 ✭✭✭joe316


    An oldie but a goldie

    Paddy Englishman, Paddy Scotsman and Paddy Irishman were in a pub chatting about their kids. Paddy Englishman was saying that since his son was born on St. George's Day we named him George. Paddy Scotsman then said that since his son was born on St. Andrew's Day we named him Andrew.

    Paddy Irishman was amazed at this, he couldnt believe it and said:



    "that's amazing...............................wait til I go home and tell Pancake!"


  • Registered Users Posts: 10,434 ✭✭✭✭28064212


    Two sausages are in a frying pan. One turns to the other and says "Does it feel hot in here to you?". The other replies
    "Aghhh! A talking sausage!"

    Boardsie Enhancement Suite - a browser extension to make using post-migration Boards on desktop a better experience (includes full-width display, keyboard shortcuts, and a dark mode setting)



  • Registered Users Posts: 3,799 ✭✭✭Benzino


    One day a student left the school yard at lunch time and went to the nearby graveyard. The teacher seeing this, followed the student and saw him pour his carton of milk on the graves.

    The teacher asked: "why are you doing that?"
    The student responded by singing: "Them bones them bones, need calcium!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,300 ✭✭✭nice1franko


    What do you call a man hiding in a bush?

    Russell


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,586 ✭✭✭cedomination


    "Knock Knock"

    "Who's there?"

    "Interrupting cow"

    "Interrupting cow wh-"

    "MOOOOOOOOO"


  • Registered Users Posts: 1,600 ✭✭✭00112984


    A guy decided life would be more fun if he had a pet.

    So he went to the pet store and told the owner that he wanted to buy an unusual pet.

    After some discussion, he finally bought a talking centipede, which came in a little white box to use for his house.

    He took the box back home, found a good spot for the box, and decided he would start off by taking his new pet to the pub with him.

    So he asked the centipede in the box,"Would you like to go for a pint?"

    But there was no answer.

    This bothered him a bit, but he waited a few minutes and then asked again, "How about going to the pub with me?"

    But again, there was no answer from his new friend and pet.
    So he waited a few minutes more, thinking about the situation.

    The guy decided to invite the centipede one last time.

    This time he put his face up against the centipede's house and shouted, "Hey, in there! Would you like to go to the pub with me or not?!

    This time, a little voice came out of the box,




    "I heard you the first time!
    I'm putting on my shoes!"


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 979 ✭✭✭Keedowah


    What's brown and sticky?







    A Stick!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 107 ✭✭clairemcbear


    Did you hear about the Farmer that won a nobel prize?

    He was outstanding in his field


    -Gets me everytime


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,100 ✭✭✭eightyfish


    I eat my peas with honey.
    I've done it all my life.
    It makes them taste quite funny,
    but it keeps then on the knife!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 19 cycleofusa2010


    What do you call a Spaniard just out of hospital?

    Manuel


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,320 ✭✭✭Teferi


    What did the teddy bear say when he was offered dessert?

    "No thanks, I'm stuffed! "


  • Registered Users Posts: 8,584 ✭✭✭TouchingVirus


    Why are elephants all wrinkled?

    They're too hard to iron


  • Registered Users Posts: 2,302 ✭✭✭splashthecash


    What do you call a sheep with no legs?.....A cloud


  • Registered Users Posts: 144 ✭✭tdow


    How do you catch a rabbit?

    Hide behind a tree and make a noise like a carrot


  • Registered Users Posts: 6,688 ✭✭✭kerash


    What do you give a sick pig?
    Oink-ment!


  • Advertisement
  • Registered Users Posts: 230 ✭✭bellylint


    Q: What do you call a row of rabbits moving away from you?

    A: A receding hare line!


Leave a Comment

Rich Text Editor. To edit a paragraph's style, hit tab to get to the paragraph menu. From there you will be able to pick one style. Nothing defaults to paragraph. An inline formatting menu will show up when you select text. Hit tab to get into that menu. Some elements, such as rich link embeds, images, loading indicators, and error messages may get inserted into the editor. You may navigate to these using the arrow keys inside of the editor and delete them with the delete or backspace key.

Advertisement