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12-12-2014, 19:26   #6841
Man of Aran
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Quote:
Originally Posted by myshirt View Post
I went for an job interview for an estimators position and the interviewer asked me how long I'd worked as an estimator.

I replied hmmm... I would say probably about seven years, give or take.
..... And growing up, you were considered indecisive, but nowadays you are not so sure about that?

Last edited by Man of Aran; 12-12-2014 at 20:00.
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12-12-2014, 19:31   #6842
evancmurphy00
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I robbed a bank dressed as a frog last week. It was the first time I had kermited a crime.
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13-12-2014, 11:23   #6843
Roger_007
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Originally Posted by evancmurphy00 View Post
I robbed a bank dressed as a frog last week. It was the first time I had kermited a crime.
How did you dress the bank as a frog?
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13-12-2014, 11:36   #6844
myshirt
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Mark Wahlberg has requested a pardon for a crime he committed in 1988.

His debut single.
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14-12-2014, 21:02   #6845
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Ronnie Wood has a new plan to start making himself look younger.

Standing next to Keith Richards.
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15-12-2014, 12:55   #6846
jonnybegood
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I couldn't help but overhear two guys in their mid-twenties while sitting at the bar last night. One of the guys says to his buddy: "Man you look tired.


His buddy says: "Dude I'm exhausted. My girlfriend and I have sex all the time. I just don't know what to do."


A fellow about my age ( 60 +), sitting a couple of stools down, also overheard the conversation. He looked over at the two young men and with the wisdom of years says:


"Marry her. That'll put a stop to that sh1t."
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15-12-2014, 20:36   #6847
evancmurphy00
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Do you need an ark? If you do I Noah guy.
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15-12-2014, 22:57   #6848
EoghanIRL
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My girlfriend is a pornstar .

She is going to be really mad when she finds out .
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15-12-2014, 22:59   #6849
EoghanIRL
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I got a new job circumcizing elephants.

The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous.
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15-12-2014, 23:07   #6850
EoghanIRL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Man of Aran View Post
..... And growing up, you were considered indecisive, but nowadays you are not so sure about that?
I'll tell you how to procrastinate later .
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16-12-2014, 00:02   #6851
alfa beta
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Went and saw my doctor for a check up the other day.

He said, 'You know what, you're really gonna have to stop masturbating.'

i was shocked. I was like, 'You serious, doc, why's that?'

'So I can examine you,' he said.
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16-12-2014, 00:14   #6852
lazybones32
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What do feminists use for contraception?

Their personality.
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16-12-2014, 10:21   #6853
eisenberg1
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Originally Posted by EoghanIRL View Post
I got a new job circumcizing elephants.

The pay isn't great but the tips are enormous.
And no drawbacks afterwards............
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16-12-2014, 11:21   #6854
Bandara
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This one is a classic imo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHx8y1rFjdk
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16-12-2014, 11:50   #6855
nootroc
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Whats the biggest drawback on safari













An elephants foreskin
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