Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

mickman · 06-09-2010 3:21pm

my god , this sounds sad

are you on anti depressants?

tikkaman · 06-09-2010 3:34pm

mickman wrote: »

my god , this sounds sad

are you on anti depressants?

i'm taking citrol 10mg but my CBT therapist thinks it not enough...
but i don't like the label of taking anti depressants...
And i also love shooting, and if i keep taking them i may loose my licences on the next renewal....

how do the rest of you all manage with relationships of the opposite sex...?

i just think negatively of myself... all the time, and if i don't try to get a date i feel rather normal..... but once i tend to start to think of starting something panic sets in.....

mickman · 06-09-2010 3:38pm

thankfully i dont have any issues like this. i just have a bit of ocd and anxiety , neither of which inhibit me much

do you exercise?

stupidusername · 06-09-2010 3:53pm

tikkaman wrote: »

i'm taking citrol 10mg but my CBT therapist thinks it not enough...
but i don't like the label of taking anti depressants...
And i also love shooting, and if i keep taking them i may loose my licences on the next renewal....

how do the rest of you all manage with relationships of the opposite sex...?

i just think negatively of myself... all the time, and if i don't try to get a date i feel rather normal..... but once i tend to start to think of starting something panic sets in.....

I don't take rejection too well. It gets to me way too personally. I just don't have enough confidence to brush it off, and again it comes down to feeling like I'll never meet more people/guys. Recently I've become a little interested in someone, but he says he's not into a relationship atm (could be just me) and so I feel like this is a fairly big loss as I just don't meet that many people. plus now I seem to have lost him as a friend too. Though to be entirely honest I'm not sure if he ever had intentions of just being my friend

tikkaman · 06-09-2010 4:03pm

stupidusername wrote: »

I don't take rejection too well. It gets to me way too personally. I just don't have enough confidence to brush it off, and again it comes down to feeling like I'll never meet more people/guys. Recently I've become a little interested in someone, but he says he's not into a relationship atm (could be just me) and so I feel like this is a fairly big loss as I just don't meet that many people. plus now I seem to have lost him as a friend too. Though to be entirely honest I'm not sure if he ever had intentions of just being my friend

i too am the same, i fear more rejection will just put an end to me ever being happy...

i can battle through the cbt tasks so far although with a bit of a push from my cbt therapist...

But this is the big barrier i always face, No confidence at all....
And if a woman was to ask me out i think i'd freek, and look rather stupid in the process,

At least you can have the courage to ask him out which is more thani can do,

tikkaman · 06-09-2010 4:23pm

Is there anyone on here who had issues like me and managed to get into a relationship and feel good inwardly about themselves...?

i've just reached the end of the line and need something to hope for...

mickman · 06-09-2010 4:34pm

tikkaman wrote: »

Is there anyone on here who had issues like me and managed to get into a relationship and feel good inwardly about themselves...?

i've just reached the end of the line and need something to hope for...

stop thinking about other people. u need to sort this yourself

do you exercise?

tikkaman · 06-09-2010 4:39pm

i get excercise by out walking when i'm shooting, also take the odd walk on the beach.... go to the pool in winter now and then when i feel i can handle the crowds...

i know its only myself that can help me but i don't have the courage....

mickman · 06-09-2010 4:42pm

tikkaman wrote: »

i get excercise by out walking when i'm shooting, also take the odd walk on the beach.... go to the pool in winter now and then when i feel i can handle the crowds...

i know its only myself that can help me but i don't have the courage....

first and foremost excercise will help you massively. if i get anxious during the day and get a tight chest , the only thing and i mean the only thing that sorts it out is a run in the evening, good exercise gets you breathing more deeply which relieves all anxiety etc

walking while out shooting and a walk on the beach is not exercise. you need to get your heart beating fast, you need to sweat , you need to get the blood pumping fast around your body. you need to get 40 mins exercise 5 times a week.

do that for 1 month and i guarantee you will be back on this forum feeling better for yourself

stupidusername · 06-09-2010 5:20pm

I don't think you should be 'guaranteeing' anything here mickman. I would like to give exercising a go to help with mood, as everyone says it helps but my problem is I just don't have the energy.

It just occurred to me that my doctor didn't ask me the other day was I seeing a counsellor or anything. I was meant to bring the things I wrote down to show her, but I forgot, and so also forgot to mention trying to get the free counselling through the HSE again. But no she never mentioned it. this isn't good.

mickman · 06-09-2010 5:25pm

stupidusername wrote: »

I don't think you should be 'guaranteeing' anything here mickman. I would like to give exercising a go to help with mood, as everyone says it helps but my problem is I just don't have the energy.

It just occurred to me that my doctor didn't ask me the other day was I seeing a counsellor or anything. I was meant to bring the things I wrote down to show her, but I forgot, and so also forgot to mention trying to get the free counselling through the HSE again. But no she never mentioned it. this isn't good.

stop saying "but my problem is" . cut those words out of your vocabularaly. and yes i will guarantee that ye will feel better if ye exercies 5 times a week. its the only method that is 100% helpful in treating depression and anxiety.

you dont have energy cos you spend all day going around with negative thoughts and you dont exercise. dont you see that its a vicious circle. if you exercise it will help with your negative thoughts, help you have more energy and you will notice an improvement in your mood.

stop saying "i cant " and " my problem is" - just get your runners on and a pair of shorts and get out and run 1 mile 5 times this week. stop thinking about it and just DO it. even if you .5 of a mile and you have to stop, so what? stop and then continue again until you get fitter and fitter and you can take it to the next level.

go swimming - make it your business to learn how to swim properly, go twice a week, its unbelievable exercise and really good for the body. dont come back and say "i cant go swimming because" ...

Princess Peach · 06-09-2010 5:33pm

Join an exercise class and you'll meet new people! I do 2 a week, and they're really fun. Or ask a friend to go with you. I have a girl I was sorta friends with and we started doing a class together and now we're better friends cause we see each other every week.

Or get a really fun excercise dvd. I have a dance one and a stripping one! Think I'll put one on right now!

C_Dawg · 06-09-2010 6:22pm

phi3 wrote: »

I'm fine with my family but I have no real friends because of it.

I've lost all close friends, I seem to be toxic when I'm depressed.

C_Dawg · 06-09-2010 6:27pm

I have to agree with Mickman a little bit.

I try to go to the gym as much as I can. Not only does it pass the time a bit more productive than staring at the wall but I find I can work out a lot of anxiety there. Now it only lasts for a little while but tis a step in the right direction.

Princess Peach · 06-09-2010 6:34pm

Happy people don't know how to be around sad people. I HATE when someone says "Cheer up it might never happen." It really boils my blood. I would never say to anyone cheer up.

And totally! If I don't go to the gym its another few hours I'm lying in bed moping

C_Dawg · 06-09-2010 6:37pm

Princess Peach wrote: »

"Cheer up it might never happen." It really boils my blood.

haha I know what you mean

RubyXI · 06-09-2010 6:40pm

Princess Peach wrote: »

Happy people don't know how to be around sad people. I HATE when someone says "Cheer up it might never happen." It really boils my blood. I would never say to anyone cheer up.

And totally! If I don't go to the gym its another few hours I'm lying in bed moping

Oh my god. Random people in the street tell me to cheer up. I mean it's bad enough if it's people you know. But when its some person in passing it goes further. Like what gives them the right to pass comment on me and why would i be walking down the street smiling anyway. That would be very strange. :mad:

Princess Peach · 06-09-2010 6:43pm

phi3 wrote: »

why would i be walking down the street smiling anyway. That would be very strange. :mad:

I think that would be a good thing!

Next time I'm out and someone tells me to cheer up I'm gonna start crying and go on for ages about all my problems, ruin their night. That'll show em!

RubyXI · 06-09-2010 6:46pm

Princess Peach wrote: »

I think that would be a good thing!

Next time I'm out and someone tells me to cheer up I'm gonna start crying and go on for ages about all my problems, ruin their night. That'll show em!

Exactly. Like they dont know why i might not be cheerful. Stupid people.

tikkaman · 06-09-2010 6:53pm

Well its just one off those days,

i decided for my own health not to meet the woman i got into contact with, i've explained what i'm going through and that its nothing at all personal about her, as i said to her shes lovely...

just my own insecurities are making me panic...

i just feel so alone....

i've had a good talk with my parents, and they get it a little,

i've booked tomorrow off work too to go to a cbt session as i need to get rid of the latest thinking errors...

if it works is another thing.... And i'm gonna try hypnosis again,

i feel like one messed up kid at the minute....

Princess Peach · 06-09-2010 6:56pm

At least you're being very proactive against how you feel though! Soooo many times when I've felt low I've just stayed in bed for days and weeks on end. Hang in there, all these things will help you.

At least your in control of yourself

stupidusername · 06-09-2010 7:12pm

tikkaman wrote: »

Well its just one off those days,

i decided for my own health not to meet the woman i got into contact with, i've explained what i'm going through and that its nothing at all personal about her, as i said to her shes lovely...

just my own insecurities are making me panic...

i just feel so alone....

i've had a good talk with my parents, and they get it a little,
i've booked tomorrow off work too to go to a cbt session as i need to get rid of the latest thinking errors...

if it works is another thing.... And i'm gonna try hypnosis again,

i feel like one messed up kid at the minute....

Do you find CBT helpful for you? to look back on the time before you started, can you notice a difference in yourself?

tikkaman · 06-09-2010 7:33pm

stupidusername wrote: »

Do you find CBT helpful for you? to look back on the time before you started, can you notice a difference in yourself?

problem is i don't really know if cbt is useful or not, i don't see a difference in myself but my mum and dad say there is...

stupidusername · 06-09-2010 7:37pm

tikkaman wrote: »

problem is i don't really know if cbt is useful or not, i don't see a difference in myself but my mum and dad say there is...

What kind of things have they said they noticed? do you trust that they're being honest, or could they just be trying to be good about it?

Princess Peach · 06-09-2010 7:38pm

I found CBT really helpful when I went, and I noticed changes in how I thought and felt and reacted to things for a while. It was really helpful to discuss your situations and have someone offer insights to how you might have dealt with things differently.

I have a whole new set of problems now though and can't see the college counsellor for free anymore and I cant afford to pay

stupidusername · 06-09-2010 8:07pm

Princess Peach wrote: »

I found CBT really helpful when I went, and I noticed changes in how I thought and felt and reacted to things for a while. It was really helpful to discuss your situations and have someone offer insights to how you might have dealt with things differently.

I have a whole new set of problems now though and can't see the college counsellor for free anymore and I cant afford to pay

That's so sh!t. Are you entitled to a medical card? There's some places that will do a sliding scale system for people who are low income, do you think that maybe this might suit, or can you afford nothing?

I am not finding my counsellor great, and would like to move but I can't afford to pay anything more than I am now, and won't be able to get anythingn else.

tikkaman · 06-09-2010 8:20pm

stupidusername wrote: »

What kind of things have they said they noticed? do you trust that they're being honest, or could they just be trying to be good about it?

they said i seemed more confident around certain people, and able to go into the pub for a night out with a festival comittie i helped out with,

just feel so stupid for feeling like i''ll never have the confidence to start a relationship, or have kids you know the circle of life thing...

i don't want to be an old man alone..... but my condition or confidence won't let me be NORMAL.... like i see couples in the street and i just wish i could be happy and with someone....

x

stupidusername · 06-09-2010 8:24pm

tikkaman wrote: »

they said i seemed more confident around certain people, and able to go into the pub for a night out with a festival comittie i helped out with,

just feel so stupid for feeling like i''ll never have the confidence to start a relationship, or have kids you know the circle of life thing...

i don't want to be an old man alone..... but my condition or confidence won't let me be NORMAL.... like i see couples in the street and i just wish i could be happy and with someone....

x

How old are you? do you have many friends?

I don't think for now you should focus on settling down as your goal. If you think about what you really want i'm sure it's to be happy. And maybe that will be made better by being with someone, but ultimately shouldn't we all strive to be happy by ourselves first?

tikkaman · 06-09-2010 8:31pm

stupidusername wrote: »

How old are you? do you have many friends?

I don't think for now you should focus on settling down as your goal. If you think about what you really want i'm sure it's to be happy. And maybe that will be made better by being with someone, but ultimately shouldn't we all strive to be happy by ourselves first?

i'm 34....

i'm happy or at least was with my own company, but i had a few very close friends, and one fell out and then others joined him basically,
after he told a few yarns along the way.....

so i don't have that many CLOSE friends now... and will be guarded about who i do trust....

can i ask whats your biggest fear in all this mess we're all in...?
have you tried to tackle it....

are you normally a confident person...? are you married/ single/ engaged/

i hope your getting near to your goals for getting better...

starviewadams · 06-09-2010 8:35pm

I started group CBT last Thursday for SA,and the counsellor told us all that the changes that occur are subtle ones and that you might not even notice them happening yourself.He also talked about setting small realistic goals for yourself at the start and working your way onto to the big ones.

I found it really scary having to introduce myself to a room full of strangers,but everybody is in the same boat and I did feel slightly better after it ended,only 13 weeks to go!

Lets all be anxious/depressed together.

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