St. Vincent de Appalling...

Howdy.

Id like to relate to you all an experience I had this morning with the well known 'society of SVP', but first some of my background:

I was made homeless this year and currently still am.

How does one become homeless you ask? Its very simple- I had nowhere to stay and I ran out of cash.

So I am staying in a homeless hostel/shelter @ present. The staff there are helpful & friendly, and as its approaching winter and I am unable to access my personal belongings (clothes etc) they suggested that I ask SVP for a clothing grant.

Naturally I declined the advice as I have never asked anybody for anything in my life, but as they kept insisting and I am strapped for cash (I have 2 small kids etc) I decided I would SVP them a visit today. Nothing ventured nothing gained as the care worker said...

It did not go well at all! :rolleyes:

As I approached the SVP office, a lady was opening the door and I met 'Tom' on his way out- another unfortunate who had been staying in the homeless shelter previously. I asked him how he was doing and we exchanged the usual pleasantries before a lady who I'l refer to as Quasimodo's sister ushered me hurriedly into a room where sat a lady and her butler, I presume...

"This is a friend of Tom's", said Quasimodo's sister, a sense of disgust in her voice. "Actually we were in the same accomondation" I replied.

Then came the interrogation!

This creature, who I can only describe as a type of passive-aggressive female Tony Montana type character starts to berate me...

"Who are you" she said. I told her my name.

"How old are you". I gave my age.

"Where are you from". Told her that too.

Then she says: "So you are xx age and your homeless because you decided to act the bollocks, and now your looking to me for help, but a bit of bread is all that I'll be giving you..."

Me: "Well, actually..."

Her: "Where are your parents?"

Me: "I'm not sure if that's relevant, I'm a parent myself"

Her: "So you fell out with your parents because you were acting the bollocks, and now you are here looking for help but you'll be lucky to get a bit of bread off me"

Me: "Oh" (WTF is going on here like)

Back to the interrogation...

Her: "How many children do you have, what are there ages?"

I told her that, as she scribbled in her notebook.

Her: "And where are they now?"

"With my ex partner" I said.

"Where?" she asks. I told her the town...

"Whats the address" she goes.

"What difference does it make, its not my address, what do you need this information for exactly???" I'm beginning to get irate now, as this woman is cleary 'a bit of a coont'

"I need it for a form, we have to fill out forms here you know, you cant just walk in off the street here looking for money off me. What is your ex-partners name" said the cretin...

"Wheres this form" I said. She reached over her desk and fingered one.

"And where does it ask for that information"???

"Now listen" she replied. "Dont be coming in here with an attitude to me, What do you want anyway"

"Oh I can finally speak now can I" I say, tampin' @ this stage...

"The staff @ the hostel have advised me to call here as I'm strapped for cash, I cant get my hands on my clothes and i could do with a few bits. A pair of shoes and a coat is what they recommend, I'd be reluctant but ring them if you like..."

"I dont have to do that" she says, "What size shoe are you?"

I told her my size while her assistant 'Frank' (N.Stein?) pulled out 3 pairs of manky shoes & trainers, nowhere near my size to boot.

"Try those on" said the aul witch. I declined. She then proceeded to berate me further still and make inquiries as to my finances. I'd had enough!

"DO YOU KNOW WHAT? STICK YOUR BREAD UP YOUR ARSE" I said, getting up to leave.

"I will. And I dont want to see you here again" said the devil incarnate.

I left, but I was angry so immediately returned and rang the buzzer. Quasimodo's sis appears...

"Who is that woman" says I.

"That is Sister Mary" said the hunchbacks sibling.

"Well tell her I said she is nothing but two ends of a c*nt!"

She looked shocked before closing the door in my face. There was a big red button there that said 'do not press' so I pressed it as im a rebel @ heart and didnt happen to have a shotgun with me. Turns out it was the fire alarm...

So that was my one and only encounter with the famous 'Society of St Vincent de Paul' registered charity!

Bunch of c*unt's in my experience.

I'm wondering if any of you fine folk have any similar experiences with these so called 'do-gooders'? Please share, and thanks...

Peace