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Worst Irish Film of All Time

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  • 14-05-2012 10:33pm
    #1
    Gee Bag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,541 ✭✭✭


    This thread is inspired jointly by The Sunday Times 100 best Irish films poppycock and the crisp €10 note I wasted on Charlie Cassanova the other night.

    My nominations are:

    Crushproof - Shocking bad scutter where skangers think they are the Mystic nights of Tir na Nóg

    Accelerator - Very unconvicing Belfast and Dublin joyriders have a race for some reason

    The Tiger's Tail - Good Jaysus, some of the worst dialouge ever perpetrated on an unsuspecting public

    Ordinary Decent Criminal - Kevin Spacey's Oirish accent makes a tour around all 32 counties every few sentences and is mildly entertaining. Otherwise a piss poor slapstick version of Martin Cahill's life

    Charlie Cassanova - The young pretender. Apparently made for €1000, looks and sounds like it ran way over budget


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    #2
    Bipolar Joe
    Registered Users Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭Bipolar Joe


    What was that sh!te action film that looked like it was filmed on the first camera phone? A bunch of pillocks badly roundhouse kicking each other in the middle of Offaly or somewhere.


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    #3
    woof im a dog
    Registered Users Posts: 195 ✭✭woof im a dog


    shrooms wasn't a great film was it


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    #4
    qwerty93
    Closed Accounts Posts: 221 ✭✭qwerty93


    Eamon the movie- If anyone has seen it they will understand why public restrooms at beaches are best avoided..


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    #5
    Gee Bag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,541 ✭✭✭Gee Bag


    Bipolar Joe wrote: »
    What was that sh!te action film that looked like it was filmed on the first camera phone? A bunch of pillocks badly roundhouse kicking each other in the middle of Offaly or somewhere.

    Oh joy of joys! I get to post Fatal Deviation twice in one day.

    Just for the record I place it in the so shyte its great category.....




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    #6
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    Dead Meat. A zombie film set in Leitrim.
    So bad it's nearly good.


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    #7
    Nervous Wreck
    Closed Accounts Posts: 16,115 ✭✭✭✭Nervous Wreck


    ^^Fatal Deviation is easily the best film ever, in fairness.


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    #8
    Bipolar Joe
    Registered Users Posts: 3,443 ✭✭✭Bipolar Joe


    I actually love Dead Meat. Cracking zombie flick, and I reckon that if an outbreak were to happen in Ireland, that is EXACTLY how it would go down. Also, it's hysterical.


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    #9
    AnonoBoy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,559 ✭✭✭✭AnonoBoy


    Gee Bag wrote: »
    Charlie Cassanova - The young pretender. Apparently made for €1000, looks and sounds like it ran way over budget

    I've seen it. It doesn't look like it ran over budget at all. It looks exactly like a sh*tty film that was made for that level of cash.


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    #10
    newmug
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,571 ✭✭✭newmug


    Bipolar Joe wrote: »
    What was that sh!te action film that looked like it was filmed on the first camera phone? A bunch of pillocks badly roundhouse kicking each other in the middle of Offaly or somewhere.
    Gee Bag wrote: »
    Oh joy of joys! I get to post Fatal Deviation twice in one day.

    Just for the record I place it in the so shyte its great category.....




    Fatal Deviation was made in MEATH! In Trim, incidentally where Braveheart was also made!


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    #11
    Gee Bag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,541 ✭✭✭Gee Bag


    AnonoBoy wrote: »
    I've seen it. It doesn't look like it ran over budget at all. It looks exactly like a sh*tty film that was made for that level of cash.

    I thought it looked like a €500 film!


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    #12
    BopNiblets
    Registered Users Posts: 3,579 ✭✭✭BopNiblets


    Holy Water was pretty bad, a comedy movie about a small town heist of a Viagra shipment by 4 desperate friends looking for some cash who end up dumping it in the local water supply.
    It's like a long Father Ted episode with lots of feckin this and feck that, except not as funny or well written or acted.
    But at least it had some knockers and Linda Hamilton!


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    #13
    Warper
    Registered Users Posts: 5,377 ✭✭✭Warper


    Shrooms is shockingly bad.

    Anyone see Rawhead Rex?


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    #14
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    Warper wrote: »
    Shrooms is shockingly bad.

    Anyone see Rawhead Rex?

    Dammit! That's what I came to post. :pac:


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    #15
    thewintermute
    Registered Users Posts: 352 ✭✭thewintermute


    Betwen the Canals, I have never met anyone else who has seen it, which is the only positive thing I can say about it.


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    #16
    chin_grin
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,808 ✭✭✭✭chin_grin


    thewintermute wrote: »
    Betwen the Canals, I have never met anyone else who has seen it, which is the only positive thing I can say about it.

    Jaysus, just watched the trailer there. A film about scumbags for scumbags is what it looks like.


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    #17
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Flight of the Doves. Vomit!


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    #18
    Hesh's Umpire
    Registered Users Posts: 728 ✭✭✭Hesh's Umpire


    Michael Collins is utter utter ****e


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    #19
    Crooked Jack
    Registered Users Posts: 5,678 ✭✭✭Crooked Jack


    Not really an Irish film but this was truly atrocious

    http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTcyODM2MTI1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODc0NTA0MQ@@._V1._SY317_CR4,0,214,317_.jpg

    MV5BMTcyODM2MTI1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODc0NTA0MQ@@._V1._SY317_CR4,0,214,317_.jpg


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    #20
    Galvasean
    Registered Users Posts: 30,746 ✭✭✭✭Galvasean


    Crooked Jack wrote: »
    Not really an Irish film but this was truly atrocious

    http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTcyODM2MTI1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODc0NTA0MQ@@._V1._SY317_CR4,0,214,317_.jpg

    MV5BMTcyODM2MTI1OV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwODc0NTA0MQ@@._V1._SY317_CR4,0,214,317_.jpg

    Links not working?

    I know they aren't really Irish, but any American movie that is set in Ireland or features really bad Irish accents. Case in point:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Etm4VMLrSnc


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    #21
    johnny_ultimate
    Moderators, Category Moderators, Arts Moderators, Computer Games Moderators, Entertainment Moderators Posts: 29,094 CMod ✭✭✭✭johnny_ultimate


    Between the Canals is shockingly bad. Bland as anything. Worst crime is they barely even make it to seventy minutes. They buff up the running time with overlong and pointless opening credits. Worse is the bizarre third act sojourn to an African house party in Dublin. Ill conceived at best, racially offensive at worst. Failed attempts at making a wafer thin plot feature length, and the main plot is farcically cliched and predictble.

    I have no qualms calling it the worst Irish film Ive seen, well below the quality of Charlie Casanova (which at least has enthusiasm).


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    #22
    InchicoreDude
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,443 ✭✭✭InchicoreDude


    Boy eats girl


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    #23
    Technocentral
    Registered Users Posts: 6,101 ✭✭✭Technocentral


    Can't believe you people haven't mentioned Last Days in Dublin by Lance Daly! Honestly the worse piece of crap (I haven't seen Charlie Cassanova yet though) I ever sat through, poxy acting, zero storyline, laughable direction, if you'se think Michael Collins constitutes a terrible movie please check this one out, Nell McCafferty and David Norris "act:" in it, 'nuff said.

    Ps No trace of it online or anywhere so checking it out may be difficult.


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    #24
    e_e
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,464 ✭✭✭e_e


    johnny_ultimate wrote: »
    Between the Canals is shockingly bad. Bland as anything. Worst crime is they barely even make it to seventy minutes. They buff up the running time with overlong and pointless opening credits. Worse is the bizarre third act sojourn to an African house party in Dublin. Ill conceived at best, racially offensive at worst. Failed attempts at making a wafer thin plot feature length, and the main plot is farcically cliched and predictble.

    I have no qualms calling it the worst Irish film Ive seen, well below the quality of Charlie Casanova (which at least has enthusiasm).
    Have to laugh that the top review on IMDB is by the brother of the director.


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    #25
    Wattle
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,075 ✭✭✭Wattle


    Zonad. Now that truly is awful.


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    #26
    irishjay
    Registered Users Posts: 347 ✭✭irishjay


    to many to choose from. but theres a few hum dingers out there too.
    lets be possitive with our fim exports.
    albert knobbs i watched last night . a great brendan gleason performance.


    ..


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    #27
    kitakyushu
    Registered Users Posts: 2,465 ✭✭✭kitakyushu


    Last Days in Dublin.

    Can't find a trailer for it but it's shot in pretentious black and white and Nell McClafferty is. So that's all you need to know how bad it is.


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    #28
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 15,814 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    kitakyushu wrote: »
    Last Days in Dublin.

    Can't find a trailer for it but it's shot in pretentious black and white and Nell McClafferty is. So that's all you need to know how bad it is.

    Being shot in black and white does not make a film pretentious, more often not it is a stylistic choice the director made in order to better serve the film. Shooting in black and white is a lot more difficult than shooting in color and as such a lot of extra care goes into each shot.


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    #29
    Apolloyon
    Registered Users Posts: 322 ✭✭Apolloyon


    I may be on my own with this one. But I thought 'Perrier's Bounty' was shockingly bad despite the great cast.


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    #30
    Miguel_Sanchez
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,417 ✭✭✭Miguel_Sanchez


    Apolloyon wrote: »
    I may be on my own with this one. But I thought 'Perrier's Bounty' was shockingly bad despite the great cast.

    Not the worst Irish film by any stretch of the imagination but I found it pretty weak too.


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    #31
    Gee Bag
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,541 ✭✭✭Gee Bag


    Apolloyon wrote: »
    I may be on my own with this one. But I thought 'Perrier's Bounty' was shockingly bad despite the great cast.

    I haven't seen it. I always suspected that it would be as piss poor as Intermission


This discussion has been closed.
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