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Favourite Simpsons Quote

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  • Registered Users Posts: 1,305 ✭✭✭jobonar


    its in my sig
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  • Registered Users Posts: 861 ✭✭✭Wavey


    Kids are admiring the new camper;

    Bart - Wow, Cool bunk beds
    Lisa - Bart, thats a bread bin.
    Bart - No you're a bread bin!

    Marge is away for some reason;

    Homer - Kids, I dont want to alarm you, but there may be a Boogey Man or Boogey Men in the house!


  • Registered Users Posts: 11,262 ✭✭✭✭jester77


    Homer: Where's the any key?

    *****************************************

    Lisa: No I can't! I can't eat any of them!

    Homer: Wait a minute wait a minute wait a minute. Lisa honey, are you saying you're *never* going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?

    Lisa: No.

    Homer: Ham?

    Lisa: No.

    Homer: Pork chops?

    Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!

    Homer: [Chuckles] Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

    *****************************************

    Homer: [trying to disguise his voice] Hello, my name is Mr. Burns. I believe you have a letter for me.

    Postal Clerk: Okay, Mr. Burns, uh, what's your first name?

    Homer: [brief pause] I don't know.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 620 ✭✭✭RotalicaV


    Dunno if these were posted already, i read the first few pages and didn't see them.




    Homer: "Marge, I’m pulling an all-nighter for my little girl. Put on a pot of coffee, drink it, and start making burgers."




    Whilst homer walks past a gym:

    Homer: "Gime? What's a gime?"

    He then walks into the gym and sees the exercise equipment:

    Homer: "Oh, a gime!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 13 DJ Dangerous


    "Aaar. 'tis no man. 'tis a remorseless eatin' machine" - Captain MacAllistair
    "Deep down inside, you secretly long for a cold hearted republican to lower taxes, brutalise criminals and rule you like a king" - Sideshow Bob


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 2,356 ✭✭✭Donegal Lass


    Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
    Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

    Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

    Milhouse: Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl Bart? Why did I have the bowl?

    Lisa: Do we have any food that wasn't brutally slaughtered?
    Homer: Well, I think the veal died of loneliness


    Lisa: Dad, don't you think you're overreacting?
    Homer: Don't you think you're *under*reacting?
    Lisa: This conversation is over.
    Homer: This conversation is *under*.
    Lisa: Goodbye.
    Homer: *bad*bye

    all priceless!!!:D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 313 ✭✭Ho-Hum


    Hope they wern't mentioned before, my favourites are.

    Bart: "Its just as useless as that lemon shaped rock over there....wait a minute theres a lemon behind that rock!!!"

    Chief Wiggum to Ralph: " Whats your fascination with my forbidden closet of mystery"

    Troy McClure:"Don't kid yourself, Jimmy. If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!"

    Ned Flanders: You ugly hate-filled man.
    Moe: Hey. I may be ugly and I may be hate-filled but ... uh ... what was that last thing you said?

    Lionel Hutz: "This is the greatest case of false advertising I've seen since I sued the movie The Never Ending Story."


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 393 ✭✭Peter Collins


    Boo-yah wrote:
    Homer: Never, Marge. Never. I can't live the button-down life like you. I want it all: the terrifying lows, the dizzying highs, the creamy middles. Sure, I might offend a few of the bluenoses with my cocky stride and musky odors - oh, I'll never be the darling of the so-called "City Fathers" who cluck their tongues, stroke their beards, and talk about "What's to be done with this Homer Simpson?"

    Brilliant!

    I love this one from the B-Sharps epsiode:

    Apu: This is worse than your song about Mr. T.
    Homer: I pity the fool who doesn't like...he.


  • Registered Users Posts: 25,243 ✭✭✭✭Jesus Wept


    Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax.


    Lisa: That's the home-owner tax...
    Piste wrote:
    Well the simpsons are on now so I'll be back with some more quotes.

    ...amature.



    Homer Simpson: You're Darryl Strawberry!
    Darryl Strawberry: Yes.
    Homer Simpson: You play right field.
    Darryl Strawberry: Yes.
    Homer Simpson: I play right field too.
    Darryl Strawberry: So?
    Homer Simpson: Well, are you better than me?
    Darryl Strawberry: Well, I've never met you, but... yes.




    Marge: "Homer, it's very easy to criticize..."
    Homer: "... fun too!'


    ----

    Troy McCure: "Hi, I'm Troy McCure, you may remember me from such educational films as: Locker Room Towel Fights: The Blinding of Larry Driscoll, and Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 578 ✭✭✭ Amari Substantial Self-respect


    Moe comes out with some great ones

    ''First it was Kid Gorgeous. Then Kid Presentable. Then Kid Gruesome. And, finally, Kid Moe''

    or else

    Bart: your gay for Moleman!

    Lisa: no Your gay for Moleman!

    Bart: no Yooour gay for Moleman!

    Moleman: Nobodies gay for moleman

    :D


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  • Moderators, Education Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 35,033 Mod ✭✭✭✭AlmightyCushion


    Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
    Lisa: No.
    Homer: Ham?
    Lisa: No.
    Homer: Pork chops?
    Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
    Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

    Absolutely classic.


  • Registered Users Posts: 699 ✭✭✭ashyle


    fat tony's son-- " my mother was whacked of natural causes " :D


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 36,634 ✭✭✭✭Ruu_Old


    Ned Flanders: I'll have a Shirley... No, a virgin... No, a children's... Oh, what the heck? You only live once. Give me a white wine spritzer!:)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    Kent Brockman: We win again. But the real winners here are Marge's Hors D'Oeuvres.
    Homer: How do you come up with such witty remarks?
    [focuses in on ear plug/mic]
    Guy in the van: I guess you could say its my racket.
    Kent Brockman: I guess you could say I'm Iraqi.
    Homer: Get off my property.


  • Registered Users Posts: 35,024 ✭✭✭✭Baggly


    Inspired my sig. quality.

    also:

    sea captain: I run a school for wimpy lobsters where we toughen coddled lobsters up.

    marge: we re not sending our lobster to college

    sea captain: arr, tell me this then, do you have any spare change.


  • Registered Users Posts: 699 ✭✭✭ashyle


    Ha... you know when Bart sneaks off to the 50 cent concert..?
    Principal Skinner and Homer are watching the video of the concert- Skinner "If only we knew the exact time..." (rapper with clock around his neck appears onscreen)
    "If only we knew the exact date...(rapper with date '20th September 2003' on a chain round his neck appears)


    Oh that had me giggling for days.


  • Registered Users Posts: 271 ✭✭iremex


    Mr. Burns to Smithers: "Homer Simpson thinks he's the cock of the walk. Well I tell you Smithers, Homer Simpson is the cock of nothing!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 37,215 ✭✭✭✭Dudess


    Homer (during his brief stint as a manager with Globex Corporatio): I can't buy that. Only management-type guys with big salaries like me can afford things like that. [gasps] Guys like me?! I'm a guy like me!

    Homer (after using on his hat a free sample of fabric softener that came in the post): Mmmm... I can feel three kinds of softness!


  • Registered Users Posts: 3,432 ✭✭✭Steve_o


    "Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son." - Lionel Hutz

    "My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star." - Grandpa Simpson

    "Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1... 2." - Chief Wiggum.

    These are just a small few of my favourite quotes!!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 10 Totz


    Kent: "A large bear-like creature.......most likely a bear"


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,669 ✭✭✭Colonel Sanders


    Rev Lovejoy: Homer, god didn't burn down your house but he was working in the hearts of your fellow town's people who put it out, be they christian, jew or miscellaneous.

    Apu: Hey, there are 750 million of us!

    Rev Lovejoy: Ah, thats just swell!

    And the alltime great....

    Lisa: Beware the ides of march.

    Homer: No!

    Just looking at the germans take over the powerplant now:

    My name is horst, the new owners asked me to speak to you as I am the most non threatening!


  • Registered Users Posts: 4,986 ✭✭✭Red Hand


    "My cat's breath smells like catfood..." -Ralph Wiggum


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,496 ✭✭✭Mr. Presentable


    Homer auditioning for the part of Mr Burns.

    Rubs hands together, " exaaaactly. D'oh!"


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 667 ✭✭✭aequinoctium


    those are prescription pants

    - Comic Book Guy


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,026 ✭✭✭imeddyhobbs


    Yes indeed you certainly may not - comic book guy

    Me fail english thats unpossible - Ralph


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 667 ✭✭✭aequinoctium


    implied lisa, or implode - - Homer


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 667 ✭✭✭aequinoctium


    "i'll only marry again for love...maybe once more for money" - Selma


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 7,669 ✭✭✭Colonel Sanders




  • Registered Users Posts: 2,134 ✭✭✭gubbie


    [in the episode where Bart and Lisa join the ice hockey teams]
    Bart: OK, but on my way, I'm going to be doing this. (twirls arms) If you get hit, it's your own fault.
    Lisa: OK, then I'm going to start kicking air like this. (kicks) And if any part of you should fill that air, (kicks) it's your own fault.
    (They walk towards each other, then start fighting)
    Marge: Oh, I better go check that out. Now Homer, don't you eat this pie!
    Homer: OK... All right, pie, I'm just going to do this. (chomps air) And if you get eaten, it's your own fault! (walks towards pie, chomping air, and hits head on range head) Ow! Oh, my-- aw, to hell with this. (grabs pie and eats it)
    HAHAHA!

    The very much quoted Ralph line in full:
    Skinner: All right, first academic alert: Wiggum, Ralph.
    Ralph: I won, I won! (walks on stage)
    Skinner: No no, Ralph, this means you're failing English.
    Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!

    Homer: Its your child versus mine, the winner will be showered with praise, the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore

    From the movie:
    "Spider pig, spider pig, does what ever a spider pig does"
    and
    "He's not spider pig anymore, he's Harry Plopper"
    Let the bears pay the bear tax, I pay the Homer tax.
    Thats the homeOWNER tax :) Amazing


    From when Lisa becomes a vegetarian:
    Homer: It's just a little dirty! It's still good it's still good!!
    It's just a little wet! It's still good it's still good!!!!!!
    It's just a little airborne! It's still good it's stil-


    [when told by marge that mass is only a hour long]
    "Then God should have made a week an hour longer"

    [when Homer gets sick from that sandwich so he can't go to Duff Gardens]
    "What are the odds of getting sick on a Saturday? One in a thousand!"


    My favourite grandpa one:
    Grandpa: "We can’t bust heads like we used to, but we have our ways. One trick is to tell them stories that don’t go anywhere. Like that time I took the ferry over to Shelbyville; I needed a new heel for my shoe. So, I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on them. ‘Give me five bees for a quarter,’ you’d say. Now where were we? Oh yeah, the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn’t have any white onions, because of the war; the only thing you can get was those big yellow ones.”


    Homer: You mean you're never going to eat meat again?
    Lisa: No.
    Homer: Ham?
    Lisa: No.
    Homer: Pork chops?
    Lisa: No.
    Homer: Bacon?
    Lisa: Dad! Those all come from the same animal!
    Homer: Oh sure Lisa, a special, magical animal.

    Homer: Good things don't end with -ium, they end with -mania and -teria

    Homer: Crying won't get your dog back! Now you could stay here and keep eating dog food until your tears taste enough like dog food so that your dog comes home, or you could go and find your dog!
    Bart: You're right! I'm going to go find my dog! (Leaves.)
    Homer: Drats. Almost had him eating dog food.


    Lisa: Dad whats a muppet?
    Homer: Well, it's not quite a man, and its not quite a puppet but (laughs)... so to answer your question I don't know

    Homer: How can I get bart to do things with me.
    Homer's brain: Why not try reverse psychology.
    Homer: That won't ever work.
    Homer's brain: O.K., don't try reverse psychology.
    Homer: Alright, I WILL try reverse psychology.


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 15,914 ✭✭✭✭tbh


    I'm going to see the move tonight at 8:30, I haven't been this excited since Superman II.


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